Continue to “exist”

Anonymous wrote:It’s not the woman’s job to conduct a thorough background check on a guy to make sure he’s not a dirt bag. It’s the guy’s responsibility to be honest. It’s also not the woman’s fault or problem if the guy is married. The guy is making that decision and is responsible for it. Why keep blaming women who aren’t the ones lying and cheating?

I am a guy.

This is a silly comment, because it’s pointless.

People of both genders should be careful about who they let into their lives in an intimate way. If they are not, they may suffer. “Should” is just moral grandstanding, because the “is” exists regardless.

We “shouldn’t” have to worry about pedos or rapists or gangbangers or online fraudsters, but they will continue to eco regardless so you may as well adapt to that fact.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was casually dating/sleeping with this guy who I assumed was divorced and had been for years. Two weeks after we broke up I got a text from a woman claiming to be his pregnant wife asking me how long I’d been dating her husband. Wtf!

Tell her to get an abortion, the father is a loser idiot cheater.

This is what I was thinking. I'd want to know so I could plan accordingly- quickly. I'd think it likely it wasn't just this one woman who didn't know or care- and checking for STI's would be important especially if pg and planning to keep this lout's offspring.

Yes, Op was probably not the only AP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was casually dating/sleeping with this guy who I assumed was divorced and had been for years. Two weeks after we broke up I got a text from a woman claiming to be his pregnant wife asking me how long I’d been dating her husband. Wtf!

Tell her to get an abortion, the father is a loser idiot cheater.

This is what I was thinking. I'd want to know so I could plan accordingly- quickly. I'd think it likely it wasn't just this one woman who didn't know or care- and checking for STI's would be important especially if pg and planning to keep this lout's offspring.

Anonymous wrote:I was casually dating/sleeping with this guy who I assumed was divorced and had been for years. Two weeks after we broke up I got a text from a woman claiming to be his pregnant wife asking me how long I’d been dating her husband. Wtf!

Tell her to get an abortion, the father is a loser idiot cheater.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not the woman’s job to conduct a thorough background check on a guy to make sure he’s not a dirt bag. It’s the guy’s responsibility to be honest. It’s also not the woman’s fault or problem if the guy is married. The guy is making that decision and is responsible for it. Why keep blaming women who aren’t the ones lying and cheating?

I am a guy.

Yes, it's very easy to run a background check on a total stranger.

I did. I found a mugshot and arrest record online for domestic violence battery. The guy tried to explain himself, but no thank you.

I also found court records and a restraining order online from another divorced guy who claimed his ex wife was crazy.

It might not be hard to do so, but agree with others that there’s no obligation to.

DP. Sure. No obligation. But then you should understand that you're accepting the risks that come with choosing not to check someone out.

My relative just started online dating. She had interest from one guy who seemed like he had potential.They hadn't had a first meeting yet. I suggested she at least Google him and we did it together. The search turned up criminal charges for very shady real estate dealings in another state, and failure to show up in court etc. He'd clearly moved to my relative's state to get away from criminal charges in the other state. We found this in the first 30 seconds of Googling. Naturally she never accepted a date and blocked him. But it hadn't even occurred to her to check him out at all.

Women need to be more cautious.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op how do you casually assume any strange man you date is single?

Try keeping your legs closed and actually verify if the guy is really single. Marriage is a public record.

1) bull. I've never had to "verify" that somebody was single.
2) keep YOUR legs closed and let OP have sex with whomever the F she wants.

Not the PP you're addressing but re: #2 -- she now seems to regret having sex with whomever she wanted, since he turned out to be a liar who made her an unwitting accomplice to his cheating. So having sex with "whomever" isn't always the liberating experience full of power and autonomy that you want to claim it is. Not blaming the OP here. Just pointing out that sex has consequences sometimes, like feeling crappy when you realize Mr. Whomever used you in a way you didn't realize.

You need to figure out how you missed the red flags so you avoid future drama

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not the woman’s job to conduct a thorough background check on a guy to make sure he’s not a dirt bag. It’s the guy’s responsibility to be honest. It’s also not the woman’s fault or problem if the guy is married. The guy is making that decision and is responsible for it. Why keep blaming women who aren’t the ones lying and cheating?

I am a guy.

Yes, it's very easy to run a background check on a total stranger.

I did. I found a mugshot and arrest record online for domestic violence battery. The guy tried to explain himself, but no thank you.

I also found court records and a restraining order online from another divorced guy who claimed his ex wife was crazy.

It might not be hard to do so, but agree with others that there’s no obligation to.

Anonymous wrote:It’s not the woman’s job to conduct a thorough background check on a guy to make sure he’s not a dirt bag. It’s the guy’s responsibility to be honest. It’s also not the woman’s fault or problem if the guy is married. The guy is making that decision and is responsible for it. Why keep blaming women who aren’t the ones lying and cheating?

I am a guy.

Yes, it's very easy to run a background check on a total stranger.

I did. I found a mugshot and arrest record online for domestic violence battery. The guy tried to explain himself, but no thank you.

I also found court records and a restraining order online from another divorced guy who claimed his ex wife was crazy.

I’m sorry you are going through this but that’s not uncommon. Men and women especially these days put their “emotional need” before the marriage. And then you have girlfriends a, friends etc egging them to do what they need to do to be happy.

It’s not the woman’s job to conduct a thorough background check on a guy to make sure he’s not a dirt bag. It’s the guy’s responsibility to be honest. It’s also not the woman’s fault or problem if the guy is married. The guy is making that decision and is responsible for it. Why keep blaming women who aren’t the ones lying and cheating?

I am a guy.

Anonymous wrote:Hey geniuses, OP's boytoy's wife was also sleeping with the guy, so "having sex with strangers" isn't the problem here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:CALL HER and TELL her all the nasty things you guys did together, she asked so give her what she wants! Hold nothing back.

Agree with this. Detail about how he ejaculated inside of you and you just missed your period.

You people all deserve to go to hell.

This is a hormonal pregnant woman who is reeling at a vulnerable time.

The proper thing to do would be to tell her how sorry you are that you had no idea he was married, much less with a pregnant wife and give her the facts (not your nasty details) so she can make an informed decision going forward and sort through the lies she’s likely being told at home.

Have some gdamn class and empathy.

+1, especially about the class part. Who are these people.

+1 million.

Hey geniuses, OP's boytoy's wife was also sleeping with the guy, so "having sex with strangers" isn't the problem here.