DCUM Forum

Anonymous

08/30/2023 13:57 Subject: What kind of relationship includes a text like this?

When I text my spouse or kid about a chore, I'm not even this nice. "Hey dude, don't forget to take the trash out and remember the clippings are behind the garage".

The follow up text in reply to incoming would be "because I said so and you live here too."

Anonymous

08/30/2023 13:53 Subject: What kind of relationship includes a text like this?

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s rude but it’s a bit too formal. In my house it would be more like:

“Can you take trash, recycling and grass clips (bin by shed) to curb? Thx 😘”

More succinct but warmer.

My bet is that OP’s poor husband has been told that this too is unacceptable. Thus both the please and thank you.

Anonymous

08/30/2023 13:51 Subject: What kind of relationship includes a text like this?

I don’t think it’s rude but it’s a bit too formal. In my house it would be more like:

“Can you take trash, recycling and grass clips (bin by shed) to curb? Thx 😘”

More succinct but warmer.

Anonymous

08/30/2023 13:50 Subject: What kind of relationship includes a text like this?

Seems more like a text from a parent to a teen. My text from or to my husband would be much nicer. To my teen, though, something exactly like that, because I already asked my teen 7 times and he hasn't done it yet. My husband doesn't need to be told unless it s something I normally take care of.

Anonymous

08/30/2023 13:43 Subject: What kind of relationship includes a text like this?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the text is rude. So much tone is lost with text messages that the sender needs to be careful and usually needs to overcorrect. Sometimes just an exclamation point or two helps. Silly but if you're going to communicate via text with loves ones, you need to do it well.

Or maybe the recipient should be more forgiving. Communicating with OP must be exhausting.

Anonymous

08/30/2023 13:42 Subject: What kind of relationship includes a text like this?

Anonymous wrote:I think the text is rude. So much tone is lost with text messages that the sender needs to be careful and usually needs to overcorrect. Sometimes just an exclamation point or two helps. Silly but if you're going to communicate via text with loves ones, you need to do it well.

How on Earth is that rude?

Anonymous

08/30/2023 12:12 Subject: What kind of relationship includes a text like this?

Anonymous wrote:Op here, my issue is that despite the please and thank you, it seems like an order, not a request. But based on your replies I guess I am wrong.

They just didn’t want you to forget the grass clippings that were left out to dry.

Anonymous

08/30/2023 12:10 Subject: What kind of relationship includes a text like this?

Anonymous wrote:I think the text is rude. So much tone is lost with text messages that the sender needs to be careful and usually needs to overcorrect. Sometimes just an exclamation point or two helps. Silly but if you're going to communicate via text with loves ones, you need to do it well.

Or maybe the recipient should be more forgiving. Communicating with OP must be exhausting.

Anonymous

08/30/2023 12:10 Subject: What kind of relationship includes a text like this?

Anonymous wrote:In what type of relationship is this either a normal text? Received at 6 am.

"Please get the trash/recycle out to the curb. There's also a trash can behind the shed tjat jas grass clipplings that needs to go to the curb.
Thank you"

Is it normal between husband and wife? Parent to child? Roomates? Boss to restaurant worker?
Does your opinion change if it's a female sending or a male sending?
Does your opinion change if the sender was near/next to the trash cans when sending this text?
Do you have an opinion about texting someone at 6 am?

Thanks.

Yes normal.

If a family member can’t proactively figure out what to do and when, then they need to follow directions.

Of course it’s a PItA to have to remind a family member of routine or non routine things needing to be done.

If this needs to happen too often someone should get some adhd meds and coaching. And remind themselves of how and when to do things.

Anonymous

08/30/2023 12:04 Subject: What kind of relationship includes a text like this?

I think the text is rude. So much tone is lost with text messages that the sender needs to be careful and usually needs to overcorrect. Sometimes just an exclamation point or two helps. Silly but if you're going to communicate via text with loves ones, you need to do it well.

Anonymous

08/30/2023 11:36 Subject: What kind of relationship includes a text like this?

Anonymous wrote:Op here, my issue is that despite the please and thank you, it seems like an order, not a request. But based on your replies I guess I am wrong.

Where was your partner went the message was sent? If downstairs sipping on coffee and expecting you to get out of bed to do this, yes, that’s a problem.

If they were either rushing out the door or weren’t at home, then I would view this as a totally fine reminder about trash day.

Anonymous

08/30/2023 11:35 Subject: What kind of relationship includes a text like this?

Being married to OP must be beyond exhausting. I can't imagine living with some so emotionally fragile.

Anonymous

08/30/2023 11:35 Subject: What kind of relationship includes a text like this?

Anonymous wrote:It seemed like an order? Do you live in the house?

Anonymous

08/30/2023 11:34 Subject: What kind of relationship includes a text like this?

Dh will send me a reminder text on trash day if he's not going to be home.

Last night I sent him a text asking (but really telling him) if he could switch over the laundry because I forgot before I left for work.

I see nothing wrong with the text you got

Anonymous

08/30/2023 11:34 Subject: What kind of relationship includes a text like this?

Anonymous wrote:Op here, my issue is that despite the please and thank you, it seems like an order, not a request. But based on your replies I guess I am wrong.

Oh please !