Anonymous wrote:We can't host sleepovers because our dog can't handle it. Serious question, would you prefer our kids turn down sleepover invites since we can't reciprocate?

But surely you reciprocate in some other way?

Many people live in tiny messy houses or are overscheduled/workaholic/lazy. Hence limited reciprocation. Pity them and move on.

- WOHM in a flexible job and large house with 2 kids and lots of family and paid help, so I have the bandwidth and energy to host

My son is 14. He doesn't love sleepovers. If a friend is hosting one, he will try to attend to be a good friend. But they're not his favorite, and he never asks to have them here. We do have kids over to hang out in the afternoon for a few hours from time to time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those of you saying you don’t have space, house is messy, siblings, dogs, whatever, are making excuses. If you wanted to host a sleepover you could. Or host an evening gathering and have the kids go home. I have an only DD (11) and host single kids now and again but rarely. I do however take kids with us a lot on outings. Just took a friend tothe beach with us for 3 nights, and a different friend to the pool all afternoon yesterday. Own your decisions and be honest, but make some effort to reciprocate.

I think you should just accept that these people don't want to host sleepovers. They've made it clear.

I’m surprised that so many people even do sleepovers. In my kids’ friend groups most of the parents don’t allow them. It just doesn’t seem to be a thing.

Every kid in my daughter's group wants to participate in sleepovers. Every parent I know groans at the idea of hosting them.

I have a different take on this
My mom never had me sleep over at anyone s house until I went to collages.
She was concern of sexual abuse etc.

I know it too much. But I understand her idea.

I have one son.

Given my past experience , I m not so thrilled about my kid sleep over at other people house either. ( plus or the news you have heard etc)
So I m fine have his friends sleep over , or come over.
His best friend is a neighbor kid. He has five sibling. The parents love it when he come over to play at my house. I love it when my son is home and play with his friend. So it’s a win win.

Ask your self is up this about you or your kid? What do you eventually what to achieve? Fairness in hosting? Or your kid having fun with her friends in a safe environment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love my daughter, I love my daughter's many friends. I enjoy sleepovers and do my best to make sure that they have a good dinner and breakfast and are comfortable.

What I don't love is that my daughter's friend's rarely reciprocate.

She is an only child and most of her friend's have brother's and sister's so is this because the other parents likely have more on their plate or just don't realize or what? It's not a huge problem and I know that my daughter is certainly polite enough, but I'm just getting tired of having kids over and never having her invited out. Is there something I'm missing, or is everyone just too busy these days? Or am I being taken advantage of?

VBA. You want everyone to know you have the teen hangout house, amrite?

Yes it's very important to me that a bunch of anonymous people know how wonderful another anonymous person is.

So it seems

As the parent of an only I love driving kids, taking them to the movies/batting cage/bowling etc. I don't mind paying either, I call it the only child tax. I also work a school schedule so I am available on days off that other parents might not have. I do not usually have kids over to our house though-our child's choice. We live in a smaller home than almost everyone else we know.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you host Americans, it will not be reciprocated. It is because they are classless, mannerless, lazy, dirty, low energy, dysfunctional, selfish, miserly and broke.

Make peace with it. They are uncouth but you should continue to host because you must teach better to your kids, and you don't really want your kids to go to their dirty homes, do you?

If not for Americans, who would come to the sleepover? We're in America, no?

Invite children of legal well educated white collar immigrants.

Most immigrants don’t like sleepovers and won’t let their kid go.

Anonymous wrote:We don't have the space for sleepovers. And, my kids don't care nor like to sleep over others homes.

So this post is not for you or your idiotic response.

I knew before getting to it in your post that your child was an only child. That’s why. You have more of a need to / interest in doing it. But if you don’t want to host…don’t. The kids will figure it out. Don’t do something if you’re going to expect something in return and be disappointed if it doesn’t happen

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those of you saying you don’t have space, house is messy, siblings, dogs, whatever, are making excuses. If you wanted to host a sleepover you could. Or host an evening gathering and have the kids go home. I have an only DD (11) and host single kids now and again but rarely. I do however take kids with us a lot on outings. Just took a friend tothe beach with us for 3 nights, and a different friend to the pool all afternoon yesterday. Own your decisions and be honest, but make some effort to reciprocate.

I think you should just accept that these people don't want to host sleepovers. They've made it clear.

I’m surprised that so many people even do sleepovers. In my kids’ friend groups most of the parents don’t allow them. It just doesn’t seem to be a thing.

I'm always surprised to hear people don't. I have 3 kids in Fairfax county and I've never encountered one of my kids' friends who doesn't do sleepovers.

Anonymous wrote:Those of you saying you don’t have space, house is messy, siblings, dogs, whatever, are making excuses. If you wanted to host a sleepover you could. Or host an evening gathering and have the kids go home. I have an only DD (11) and host single kids now and again but rarely. I do however take kids with us a lot on outings. Just took a friend tothe beach with us for 3 nights, and a different friend to the pool all afternoon yesterday. Own your decisions and be honest, but make some effort to reciprocate.

Your kid is 11. Is she making these plans? I have a 12 yo and it’s been a very long time since I’ve planned something to host. Kids plan and parents say yes or no. You are assuming our kids are asking and we are refusing. My kid makes a lot of plans and 99.9% of the time it involved asking me for a ride and if we can pick up certain friends. At this age they are arranging the carpool and then checking with us.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those of you saying you don’t have space, house is messy, siblings, dogs, whatever, are making excuses. If you wanted to host a sleepover you could. Or host an evening gathering and have the kids go home. I have an only DD (11) and host single kids now and again but rarely. I do however take kids with us a lot on outings. Just took a friend tothe beach with us for 3 nights, and a different friend to the pool all afternoon yesterday. Own your decisions and be honest, but make some effort to reciprocate.

I do other things (drive around picking up five kids and taking them all bowling on a rainy afternoon, for example). But I don't host sleepovers. OP's post was specific to hosting sleepovers and having those sleepovers reciprocated.

+1 I reciprocate in other ways when possible, but with work and kids in activities 7 days/ week, we're exhausted. We only have limited time on weekends to recharge. When we've tried hosting sleepovers, kids don't listen and are up until all hours of the night making tons of noise and we end up getting no sleep. At this time in our lives, sleepovers are not on the menu.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those of you saying you don’t have space, house is messy, siblings, dogs, whatever, are making excuses. If you wanted to host a sleepover you could. Or host an evening gathering and have the kids go home. I have an only DD (11) and host single kids now and again but rarely. I do however take kids with us a lot on outings. Just took a friend tothe beach with us for 3 nights, and a different friend to the pool all afternoon yesterday. Own your decisions and be honest, but make some effort to reciprocate.

I think you should just accept that these people don't want to host sleepovers. They've made it clear.

I’m surprised that so many people even do sleepovers. In my kids’ friend groups most of the parents don’t allow them. It just doesn’t seem to be a thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love my daughter, I love my daughter's many friends. I enjoy sleepovers and do my best to make sure that they have a good dinner and breakfast and are comfortable.

What I don't love is that my daughter's friend's rarely reciprocate.

She is an only child and most of her friend's have brother's and sister's so is this because the other parents likely have more on their plate or just don't realize or what? It's not a huge problem and I know that my daughter is certainly polite enough, but I'm just getting tired of having kids over and never having her invited out. Is there something I'm missing, or is everyone just too busy these days? Or am I being taken advantage of?

VBA. You want everyone to know you have the teen hangout house, amrite?

Yes it's very important to me that a bunch of anonymous people know how wonderful another anonymous person is.