A mom on my kid's MS winter team last year taped all the games so the parents who couldn't attend could watch.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you say no transportation, do you mean to games? Our MS coach arranged carpools. A few parents went to every game. I never had to drive. And only about 1/2 the parents attended games as many were working in the afternoons so there’s no pressure to do it all.

Wow. These parents were ok with that?

Are you serious? Some parents live for this sort of thing - like my husband. He goes to every game unless he has a major conflict. And he doesn’t mind driving other players either.

Your DH is getting paid extra to be unavailable, correct? Throw some of that extra money at your transportation and child care issues.

Your younger kids should take the bus home. That would buy you time to get to MS practice and home. They can be home for a few minutes by themselves.

Another parent with an only child and some flexibility, and I'm happy to drive my daughter's friends to sports without an expectation of reciprocity (in fact we're in the midst of coordinating carpools for this fall right now). The one thing I generally do ask is that the other parents pick their kids up from my house - we don't go out of the way to do a bunch of drop-offs. But if you're in the neighborhood that's easy, and if you're running late no big deal - kids grab a snack and start homework for 15 minutes while waiting.

Oh, and your kid has to not be a jerk. But I'm assuming yours isn't .

I agree that it might be good to see if you can have your kids do aftercare one day a week so you can do some of the driving. But if not, I am another who is very grateful to have flexibility to drive my kids and I have driven other kids without an expectation of reciprocity. I would be delighted to support a military family that way. Grateful for your family’s service.

I have had some luck hiring someone to drive my older child to a late practice that didn’t have a carpool (gymnastics at a special studio). We pay $$$$ to get someone we trust. Not sure it’s practical 4-5 days a week.

Carpool girl! Get your younger kids carpool abs you will switch off with more options. You will be better off.

Make you feel better.. I know a mom with 3 kids who play travel sports at 3 different clubs. We carpool with one of them. McLean, Arlington and Alex. So 3 kids in same sport with different schedules and games. 3x practices for all of them weekly. There you go!

When the kids get older it becomes about carpool. It's about activities and driving. I think a lot of parents don't realize it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am sorry that some are giving you a hard time.
I grew up in a military community and people were incredibly understanding and helpful in similar circumstances. Consider asking for help if you need it from another parent. I would certainly do my best to assist.

+100 I am not a military family, but live in an area with plenty of military families around us. I wouldn't hesitate to offer to drive your kid without expecting you to drive my kid in return. I encourage you to have your kid try out the sport, and see how it works for your family.

Thank you for your family's service.

Same. Whenever our logistics are flexible, I always offer to drive other kids. I don’t expect 100% reciprocity, but that way if I’m in a pinch, there are a circle of people willing to help.

Bonus is that my kids love the extra time with friends, and I learn a lot by listening to their convos.

This can NOT be for real.

Ok, first I would take a deep breath. I agree with everyone that unless you don't have a job, have only one kid and never need a favor this is not stressful - it's stressful or at least logistically a challenge every time a new sports season rolls around. So everyone is dealing with this.

They have the "kick off the team" rule for late pickup because they don't want the coach to stick around so parents show up whenever, so kudos to you for realizing you should be there on time (not every parent cares about this).

If I were in your shoes, I would:
1) Figure out how many days a week you can drive by putting your younger kids in aftercare, hiring a sitter or seeing if they can do a playdate at a friends. Maybe it's one a week, fine. Reach out to 4-5 other parents on the chain - go for parents you know have jobs bc they also need help - and see if you can do something where you all drive one day a week. If you only have space for 3 kids in your car, you offer to drive 1-2 days a week. I think people would find the military spouse thing very sympathetic in this situation and would be happy to help. Or just write some version of your post on the Team Snap and see who helps out.
2) If you can truly not find any solution then call the coach and say this is what the situation is, can my son go to the 7-11 or whatever is around there and I'll pick him up there.
3) Start offering to drive kids places so you have a group of people who can help you out, for instance my DD had 7:15 am violin one day a week last year so I picked up a classmate who was on the way and didn't expect them to ever carpool to violin. The mom will help out any time I need it after school, though, because she can and wants to return the favor.
4) If you can't or won't do 1-3 - and you seem reluctant to ask for help in this situation, I may be reading that wrong - than your kids can't do sports and tell them that. My kid can't do every activity she wants bc of logistics, it happens.

My joke with the carpooling is I have graphs every week that look like the ones from "A Beautiful Mind." It takes time every week to figure out the carpool schedule but the time saved has been great, as someone pointed out I also like driving other kids so you can hear what is going on.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am sorry that some are giving you a hard time.
I grew up in a military community and people were incredibly understanding and helpful in similar circumstances. Consider asking for help if you need it from another parent. I would certainly do my best to assist.

+100 I am not a military family, but live in an area with plenty of military families around us. I wouldn't hesitate to offer to drive your kid without expecting you to drive my kid in return. I encourage you to have your kid try out the sport, and see how it works for your family.

Thank you for your family's service.

Stating the same obvious, your kid’s team is not the only Fall sport at the school. Yes - game days will be different, but 75% of the time practices will end at the same time. It widens the carpool options. It’s not illegal for a soccer kid to catch a ride with a cross country kid.

My friend hires local college students to drive (the after school sports time seems to work well for a college kid's schedule); when the schedule doesn't work, Uber.

Anonymous wrote:My only real tip is that if there is a late bus from school - my kid must take it. I am not picking up at school unless bus is not an option.

Oh and we do carpools too. We make new friends carpooling in the neighborhood - families with multiple kids are all up for it.

My only real tip is that if there is a late bus from school - my kid must take it. I am not picking up at school unless bus is not an option.