Anonymous wrote:Why would you start an emotional affair with her while you are trying to heal your marriage?

+1 Read this again. Do you miss the drama? Your husband so devoid of emotion about actual affair that you intuitively are drawn to someone you know was substantively impacted ? What is your fantasy Jerry Springer scenario? She is prostate with remorse and begs forgiveness? You exchange insults and pull each others’ hair?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her she needs to get tested for hiv, stat.

Oh man, that's brilliant.

That’s too extreme and won’t be believed. Better to say “you gave me herpes you b—-“ and let her wonder if she got it from your DH.

Which one of you is hotter?

This thread would be funny if it weren’t so sad. Betrayed wives lashing out at the universe like wounded feral cats… with no sense of pride or dignity.

It’s really awful that your DH betrayed you. Honestly. But the psychological damage that’s been done is painfully evident to everyone else listening to your rants and assertions of how “great” you feel! It’s really weird and off-putting. I have no doubt the confronted OW was “shaking” … you sound like a lunatic.

If you want to be known as broken and weird from here on out, then do you I guess. But I personally would prefer not to become a caricature of the jilted wife for others’ amusement and gossip.

OP, I understand the impulse, but the fact that you seem to want this so much suggests the outcome is going to disappoint you. I mean, if you just wanted to yell and cuss her out, I get it. That would be fine. But you seem to want more, and when she tells you awful lies in response they are going to stick in your head. Nothing good is going to come of this in your particular case.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op if you MUST, handwrite a letter with your DH and send it via certified snail mail to ensure delivery. If she writes back- return to sender without opening. Be a united front, not a lonesome betrayed wife stewing like a teenage girl.

What should I put in the envelope to ensure she opens it and reads it?

Any advice on an inexpensive camera/radio so I can watch her read it?

And why do you think she wouldn’t simply refuse delivery? You cannot ensure she does anything. You are not in control of her though you would def like to be.

And the camera/radio? What, are you going to start stalking her?

If you must do something, at least have the balls to do it directly rather than sneak around like…..

Anonymous wrote:Op if you MUST, handwrite a letter with your DH and send it via certified snail mail to ensure delivery. If she writes back- return to sender without opening. Be a united front, not a lonesome betrayed wife stewing like a teenage girl.

What should I put in the envelope to ensure she opens it and reads it?

Any advice on an inexpensive camera/radio so I can watch her read it?

Op if you MUST, handwrite a letter with your DH and send it via certified snail mail to ensure delivery. If she writes back- return to sender without opening. Be a united front, not a lonesome betrayed wife stewing like a teenage girl.

Anonymous wrote:What would she get? He dropped her the minute I discovered it and has been completely no contact, doing everything he can to show remorse, work on marriage, etc. this is for me…

OP, you HAVE to let this be enough for you because it's the best you can ask for right now. Him discarding her like trash and then NO CONTACT EVER from both of you is the best revenge. If you reach out, she'll know that she still holds power, you're still thinking about her, you're relationship must be ruined, and she will get some sick sense of satisfaction that she still has a place in your relationship (see: every single position r/theotherwoman).

Anonymous wrote:Tell her she needs to get tested for hiv, stat.

:O

Anonymous wrote:You will look crazy, which will give them validation for their affair. Take the high road, and live your best life (with or without him).

This.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’ll give her an excuse to reach out to your husband and open the lines of communication again.

This is a possible scenario. AP will text husband 'pls tell your crazy wife to stay away from me.' 'I'm sorry. i didn't know she was going to do that' 'well she did. i dont want it to happen again' 'i won't. I promise....so how have you been?'

So what? Her dh can ignore it and AP can feel stupid.

Anonymous wrote:It’ll give her an excuse to reach out to your husband and open the lines of communication again.

This is a possible scenario. AP will text husband 'pls tell your crazy wife to stay away from me.' 'I'm sorry. i didn't know she was going to do that' 'well she did. i dont want it to happen again' 'i won't. I promise....so how have you been?'

Anonymous wrote:Why should any of these woman give a rat’s @ss what the ow thinks of them if they confront? Give me a break. If it will help you heal and give you closure do it. This person invaded your life for months on end without your choice. You have the right to do whatever you need to do. Everyone is different. I confront.

+1

Anonymous wrote:It won't give you the satisfaction you think it will, but I don't think it is the worst thing in the world either.

Disagree. I got great satisfaction.