Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Title of thread should read: Women use affairs to TRY and trade up.

Correct. It rarely ever works out for them.

"Women are much more likely than men to become emotionally involved with, and to fall in love with, their affair partners. Roughly 70 per cent of women report doing so, in contrast to only 30 per cent of men. Moreover, women are more likely to cite emotional involvement as a reason for the affair. Men are more likely to cite pure sexual pleasure.

They have a 2% chance. Risking blowing up their lives for 2%.

Also eye-opening:

Men who have affairs don't differ from those who abstain from affairs in their levels of marital happiness.

This blows people's minds when men say they love their wives and marriages...yet cheat. But, studies show it is not only likely, but most of the time.

I feel like these stats are bullsh&t. It’s just reinforcing the trope that if a women cheats she is looking to leave her husband to reinforce why a husband should not take her back but if the man cheats it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love his wife so she should be willing to stand by his side.

If women initiate the majority of the divorces if they are cheating because they want to leave the marriage they would actually divorce the husband. If they aren’t, it’s because they want the security of staying married while having an affair..the same as a man that has an affair but stays married.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only difference is men consider affairs a side hustle and women an exit strategy.

Yep. Pump and dump is the man AP’s strategy.

Yet this forum is full of sad stories about DHs who left for the AP. This is especially common when the DH is middle aged and the AP is younger and beautiful.

99% of those stories, the guy hasn't left. He's begging to stay.

The men begging to stay are unicorns. Look at all the posts from women begging men to go no contact to no avail. That’s the best case.

And let’s face it: When the AP is really attractive, the DH often ends up with her.

Omg. You couldn’t be more wrong. Statistics show men leave for the ow just 2% of the time. 2%. And when they do that usually ends up as divorce down the road,

No matter what anecdotal stories people post here. It’s not common.

It's mostly the poor ones who can't afford to split the 401k and sell the house. The wealthy marry the side piece, who is usually beautiful and young. It's so hilarious when they are taken by surprise. Just ask them, unexpectedly, when and how they met and watch the reactions.

Yep, my last two CEOs were in their 50s when they married much younger (like 20+ years younger) women* very* soon after they divorced the first wife. One of them married a model.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it’s who I hang out with but in my real life I cannot cite a single example of a woman “trading up” after divorce or even finding a more appealing partner.

Yup. New person, same issues.

I guess it depends on what you consider trading up. I have seen women get men who were richer but not as good looking.

And I have seen men trade up unquestionably for women who are younger and also more successful than their first wife. Usually the man is a lot more successful and wealthy than he was when he married his first wife.

As others have stated and the article stresses, APs in affairs invariably never get the man. They get used and dumped and no contact when the guy gets sick of banging them or the wife finds out. They kick the can down the road by telling them 'once the kids are older' and all that kind of BS when they have zero intention of leaving their family because as the article OP links--they are very happy in their marriages unlike the women. It's just side sex.

APs do sometimes “get” the cheater.

Ask me how I know.

Why would you want to marry someone you know was a cheater before you even got married???

Anonymous wrote:People all dcum live in fantasy world. I'm in my 50s and most of the affairs I know of were with two middle aged married losers (45+ years old). They were similar age and in long marriages. Classic middle aged dissatisfaction with themselves. Men were not looking to leave, nor looking for love. Just variety as they faced their own mortality. The women had kids getting older and wanted an exit affair.

It’s what I’ve seen. They are all similar ages

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it’s who I hang out with but in my real life I cannot cite a single example of a woman “trading up” after divorce or even finding a more appealing partner.

Yup. New person, same issues.

I guess it depends on what you consider trading up. I have seen women get men who were richer but not as good looking.

And I have seen men trade up unquestionably for women who are younger and also more successful than their first wife. Usually the man is a lot more successful and wealthy than he was when he married his first wife.

As others have stated and the article stresses, APs in affairs invariably never get the man. They get used and dumped and no contact when the guy gets sick of banging them or the wife finds out. They kick the can down the road by telling them 'once the kids are older' and all that kind of BS when they have zero intention of leaving their family because as the article OP links--they are very happy in their marriages unlike the women. It's just side sex.

APs do sometimes “get” the cheater.

Ask me how I know.