Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is insufferable.

In what way? I do not share that sentiment at all so am trying to see what people object to about her

NP here. People I know who know her in real life say she's incredibly controlling. It's hard for me to like her knowing that. It's like when I find out an actor I like is a jerk, I can't like them anymore.

You can't drop this in without details!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“ I think there’s grace to recognizing when your many years of experience, while valuable, simply isn’t as relevant to modern issues. Validating the next generation’s perspective is a big benefit, too. ”

Funny. I think it hubris to think that one’s generation is so unique and special that other generations can’t understand it.

+1! I'm in my 30s, and lots of issues I have are the same ones my mom went through. The circumstances may be slightly different, but the core feelings/emotions/misunderstandings are all the same.

Really? My grandmother was prevented from working and did not have access to birth control and 3X the number of children I did. Of course, she had issues but it's not odd to note that we each went through many things the other doesn't truly understand.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is insufferable.

In what way? I do not share that sentiment at all so am trying to see what people object to about her

Well, she hates men for one. And she also refuses to admit shes wrong unless it's an oppurtunity for her to pat herself on the back.

+1000

What are examples of her hating men?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is insufferable.

In what way? I do not share that sentiment at all so am trying to see what people object to about her

Well, she hates men for one. And she also refuses to admit shes wrong unless it's an oppurtunity for her to pat herself on the back.

+1000

Anonymous wrote:I stopped reading her when it became the "all MIL drama all the time" column. I get that it drives clicks but it's really boring to read the same grandmother/mil drama 2-3 times a week.

I was a Hax Super Fan in my 20s when she was still giving advice for 20-somethings. She was unlike any other advice columnist out there and it was amazing.

Now her column has gotten tiresome and there are much better columns out there, like Captain Awkward, at least when she feels like updating.

Hax was in her 30s then. Now she's well into her 50s (I think almost 60?) so her advice has matured too.

I also just think...stop reading her! If she doesn't serve you anymore, move on. I used to be a daily reader, and adored her chats. I will occasionally click in now, and didn't even know she was still doing chats! It's ok really. She did help shape my thinking. I tried to write to her a few times many moons ago, and in the process of attempting to write a letter she wouldn't pick apart, I could normally find MY part of the issue. That was valuable, even if she didn't ever answer me directly.

I used to really like her because she was very good at viewing the writers as unreliable narrators and considering the different possibilities for what might actually be happening. But she seemed to get more knee-jerk and judgmental as time went on.

I love her but don't think 4 weeks is excessive at all. Don't federal government employees get that much annual leave of they've been there as long as she has? My spouse who is not a fed does.

We don't know what the illness may have been, so some of her leave may have been FMLA before he died. Plenty of people with way less privilege take advantage of that to help care for sick relatives. The Post might have a leave bank but even if not, she could have taken unpaid leave.

I stopped reading her when it became the "all MIL drama all the time" column. I get that it drives clicks but it's really boring to read the same grandmother/mil drama 2-3 times a week.

I was a Hax Super Fan in my 20s when she was still giving advice for 20-somethings. She was unlike any other advice columnist out there and it was amazing.

Now her column has gotten tiresome and there are much better columns out there, like Captain Awkward, at least when she feels like updating.

I'm a man in my mid-40s and have been reading her for years. My life is generally pretty drama free and I don't need most of the advice she provides, but I generally like how she looks for the root cause of a problem and structures her advice. Most of the time I agree with her, but not always. And I sometimes vehemently disagree with her, but that's to be expected and I don't let such moments discard the respect I have for her opinion otherwise.

I think most people would benefit from following her advice which generally centers around establishing reasonable boundaries, clear communications, and maintaining a non-paranoid awareness of threats.

I will say that, in her recent chats following the death of her father, she seems to suffer fools less and be almost curt with some of the questions. It's probably healthy for some of the questioners to not be indulged following a stupid question, but it's not really a good look. I imagine it'll return to normal over time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read it more for the comments really. I find her arrogant and even when I agree with her, I think her delivery could be better.

Also, is she a therapist or psychologist or something along those lines?

Now the comments are gold!

I've never found her arrogant - she seems to approach things with kid gloves. Amazing how we perceive her posts differently. I read for the comments. We all know what she is going to say just like in any advice column.

What is up with the people who seem to have a personal bone to pick with her? Weird. They need hobbies.

I agree / I find her measured and thoughtful.

I have never found her tone or positions arrogant.

It is weird that people hating on her for trivial reasons. And she is apparently very readable as her column is prominent on the WP web site and app.

Her columns are basically unreadable. WAY too long.

Anonymous wrote:I read it more for the comments really. I find her arrogant and even when I agree with her, I think her delivery could be better.

Also, is she a therapist or psychologist or something along those lines?

Now the comments are gold!

I've never found her arrogant - she seems to approach things with kid gloves. Amazing how we perceive her posts differently. I read for the comments. We all know what she is going to say just like in any advice column.

What is up with the people who seem to have a personal bone to pick with her? Weird. They need hobbies.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is insufferable.

In what way? I do not share that sentiment at all so am trying to see what people object to about her

Well, she hates men for one. And she also refuses to admit shes wrong unless it's an oppurtunity for her to pat herself on the back.

I read it more for the comments really. I find her arrogant and even when I agree with her, I think her delivery could be better.

Also, is she a therapist or psychologist or something along those lines?

Now the comments are gold!

I certainly hope that wisdom comes with age, but Hax's initial hook was that she was giving advice from the perspective of someone who had been where the advice-seekers were "really recently."

Even back then, she bugged when, after years of announcing that people should be well informed before making major decisions, she announced that she and Kenny were going to get married after all because -- shocker! -- there's a stigma on kids whose parents aren't married. How was this news to her?