Anonymous
08/10/2023 10:10
Subject: Wedding offenses: rank according to badness
I once went to a wedding that was so dry, they didn't serve water. It was a potluck, and no one thought to bring drinks.
Anonymous
08/10/2023 10:07
Subject: Wedding offenses: rank according to badness
Anonymous wrote:Does it matter why a wedding is dry?
Say thank you for the invitation and come if you like
Leave it at that and don’t criticize, it’s not like the couple or family needs to show case their wealth. It is just a special day for them and they thought to invite you to share that day with them
+1
You learn so much about people (guests) when there is a wedding or a funeral!
Anonymous
08/10/2023 10:07
Subject: Wedding offenses: rank according to badness
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand the hate for no kids weddings on this site. All etiquette experts say no kid weddings are absolutely fine, while many of the other items are faux pas.
I’m 45 and have been to a lot of weddings, and I think only two ever invited kids. Every other wedding I’ve attended is no kids.
I understand that sometimes people can’t attend a wedding if it’s no kids, because they don’t have childcare in a different city. No judgment if you can’t attend. DH and I have done some trade off weddings where only one of us attended because getting childcare was too much drama. It’s fine. We’ve also flown in family to watch the kids while we’ve gone out of town for weddings. And we’ve also used the hotel arranged babysitter for some weddings. All of these are fine options.
But for people who are like unilaterally writing off no kids weddings…. I feel sorry for them. They often refuse to separate from their kids, have never had a babysitter, or are highly anxious. It’s one thing to decline a no kid wedding because you’re unable to make it work (or you’re not close enough to the couple to put a ton of effort into making it work). But it’s another thing to refuse to make it work.
+1.
The weddings without kids are generally better anyways (food/alcohol/entertainment). If you can't leave your kid for a few hours do everyone else a favor and stay home
+2
+3
No one cares about your kid as much as you.
Anonymous
08/10/2023 07:55
Subject: Wedding offenses: rank according to badness
Does it matter why a wedding is dry?
Say thank you for the invitation and come if you like
Leave it at that and don’t criticize, it’s not like the couple or family needs to show case their wealth. It is just a special day for them and they thought to invite you to share that day with them
Say thank you for the invitation and come if you like
Leave it at that and don’t criticize, it’s not like the couple or family needs to show case their wealth. It is just a special day for them and they thought to invite you to share that day with them
Anonymous
08/10/2023 07:48
Subject: Wedding offenses: rank according to badness
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand the hate for no kids weddings on this site. All etiquette experts say no kid weddings are absolutely fine, while many of the other items are faux pas.
I’m 45 and have been to a lot of weddings, and I think only two ever invited kids. Every other wedding I’ve attended is no kids.
I understand that sometimes people can’t attend a wedding if it’s no kids, because they don’t have childcare in a different city. No judgment if you can’t attend. DH and I have done some trade off weddings where only one of us attended because getting childcare was too much drama. It’s fine. We’ve also flown in family to watch the kids while we’ve gone out of town for weddings. And we’ve also used the hotel arranged babysitter for some weddings. All of these are fine options.
But for people who are like unilaterally writing off no kids weddings…. I feel sorry for them. They often refuse to separate from their kids, have never had a babysitter, or are highly anxious. It’s one thing to decline a no kid wedding because you’re unable to make it work (or you’re not close enough to the couple to put a ton of effort into making it work). But it’s another thing to refuse to make it work.
+1.
The weddings without kids are generally better anyways (food/alcohol/entertainment). If you can't leave your kid for a few hours do everyone else a favor and stay home
+2
Anonymous
08/10/2023 07:40
Subject: Wedding offenses: rank according to badness
Anonymous wrote:I’m honestly shocked by the number of people who say they “can’t get through” a dry wedding.
I am with you. As someone above pointed out, dry weddings almost always are dry for non-financial reasons, so you are going to celebrate someone and grumble about their beliefs/ culture?
Cash bars on the other hand...
Anonymous
08/10/2023 07:34
Subject: Re:Wedding offenses: rank according to badness
Anonymous wrote:Dry weddings - unless couple is recovering alcoholic
Destination weddings - an excuse to make everyone else foot the real cost of the wedding. Elope if you want but destination weddings are selfish.
Weddings of couples who ask for cash - if you need to ask them it’s not the “norm” in your family.
No-kids weddings - not a concern
No +1 weddings - not a concern
No open bar weddings - fine as long as there is still wine/beer.
So Muslim, Baha’i, Buddhist, Mormon and some denominations of Christians shouldn’t get married, because the brides and grooms are not recovering alcoholic, but they and their families choose to avoid alcohol for religious reasons? Got it.
How about a bride who is not a recovering alcoholic, but her father, her uncle, and her college friend are all alcoholics, and she doesn’t want to deal with worrying about them at her wedding—she’s wrong, eh?
Anonymous
08/10/2023 07:30
Subject: Wedding offenses: rank according to badness
Anonymous wrote:Okay several people have mentioned it. What on earth is the dollar dance?
What on earth is not knowing how to Google in 2023?
Anonymous
08/10/2023 07:29
Subject: Wedding offenses: rank according to badness
I had a semi dry wedding
Instead of champagne for toast, sparkling apple juice and a cash bar
I actually once worked as a waiter for some wedding events and was shocked that one table got drunk on champagne
Either way, my wedding was small by today’s standards, got married at 10 am, reception was brunch and the whole thing was over by about 3 pm
No rehearsal dinner either. I am not into princess games. We wanted something small and low key
My apologies to the folks who would have wished to be more entertained or who expected something much fancier
Instead of champagne for toast, sparkling apple juice and a cash bar
I actually once worked as a waiter for some wedding events and was shocked that one table got drunk on champagne
Either way, my wedding was small by today’s standards, got married at 10 am, reception was brunch and the whole thing was over by about 3 pm
No rehearsal dinner either. I am not into princess games. We wanted something small and low key
My apologies to the folks who would have wished to be more entertained or who expected something much fancier
Anonymous
08/10/2023 07:03
Subject: Wedding offenses: rank according to badness
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Okay several people have mentioned it. What on earth is the dollar dance?
You pay a dollar to dance with the bride or groom.
Thank you for explaining! Seems odd to me but in fairness some of my family’s wedding traditions are pretty weird too.
Anonymous
08/10/2023 06:51
Subject: Wedding offenses: rank according to badness
No hate on weekday weddings? 99% of the weddings we attend are out of town, so it’s PTO or regrets.
Anonymous
08/10/2023 06:43
Subject: Wedding offenses: rank according to badness
Anonymous wrote:Okay several people have mentioned it. What on earth is the dollar dance?
You pay a dollar to dance with the bride or groom.
Anonymous
08/10/2023 06:19
Subject: Re:Wedding offenses: rank according to badness
Dry weddings - unless couple is recovering alcoholic
Destination weddings - an excuse to make everyone else foot the real cost of the wedding. Elope if you want but destination weddings are selfish.
Weddings of couples who ask for cash - if you need to ask them it’s not the “norm” in your family.
No-kids weddings - not a concern
No +1 weddings - not a concern
No open bar weddings - fine as long as there is still wine/beer.
Destination weddings - an excuse to make everyone else foot the real cost of the wedding. Elope if you want but destination weddings are selfish.
Weddings of couples who ask for cash - if you need to ask them it’s not the “norm” in your family.
No-kids weddings - not a concern
No +1 weddings - not a concern
No open bar weddings - fine as long as there is still wine/beer.
Anonymous
08/10/2023 05:56
Subject: Wedding offenses: rank according to badness
Okay several people have mentioned it. What on earth is the dollar dance?
Anonymous
08/10/2023 04:15
Subject: Wedding offenses: rank according to badness
Why are DJs tacky??