Do you see how misogynistic it is to claim this is mean GIRL behavior ? The person doing it is not even female.

How about “mean?”That seems to fit the bill, without throwing an entire gender under the bus.

(Please think before you speak/post).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, don't retaliate. Continue to show up to social events. Be normal, be yourself. Most adults know that there are crazy rumor-spreading bullies. They will watch you and how you behave to determine who the real baddie is. You need to remember that truth is eternal and that most people will side with you if you are on the right. It can feel lonely and isolating while you are going through it because very few people will pull you aside and tell you they are on your side. But you probably have a lot of silent supporters, so keep a brave face and keep showing up.

This is not always true. Lots of people will simply not care what the truth is. They will want to stay out of it enough that however it turns out, no on is mad at them. And then whoever "wins" they'll just say "oh yeah, that other person was crazy" and the truth will never really come into it.

Not that many people have actual integrity or care that much about other people, sorry to say. Especially not in these kind of social circles.

Truer words have never been spoken.

I tend to think that those kinds of neighborhoods have high turnover. If it is a truly great neighborhood, residents will stay through retirement, until they can't do stairs any more. Otherwise, something is definitely up, such as this example. Who wants to live where grown adults behave as if they are in middle school, or think they are dictators? It all sounds so primitive, and incestuous, and life is too short.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, don't retaliate. Continue to show up to social events. Be normal, be yourself. Most adults know that there are crazy rumor-spreading bullies. They will watch you and how you behave to determine who the real baddie is. You need to remember that truth is eternal and that most people will side with you if you are on the right. It can feel lonely and isolating while you are going through it because very few people will pull you aside and tell you they are on your side. But you probably have a lot of silent supporters, so keep a brave face and keep showing up.

This is not always true. Lots of people will simply not care what the truth is. They will want to stay out of it enough that however it turns out, no on is mad at them. And then whoever "wins" they'll just say "oh yeah, that other person was crazy" and the truth will never really come into it.

Not that many people have actual integrity or care that much about other people, sorry to say. Especially not in these kind of social circles.

Truer words have never been spoken.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whoa I live in this neighborhood and really want to know who this is!

I live here too and now I am strangely invested in knowing who this is. Given the area I would guess this is happening in Waynewood but who knows. I live in Stratford landing and it’s super laid back and I haven’t heard of any problems here! But maybe I am naive!

Me too! I live nearby (along the Fort Hunt corridor but north of Collingwood). I wonder if it's a guy who's part of the FHHS alum crowd; a few (NOT ALL) of those alums can be intense, to say the least.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would start rumors about him.

I would do this too.

Absolutely.

Absolutely not.

Treat others the way you would like to be treated. Within reason.

Stooping to their level won’t feel good for long.

As a PP said, cultivate a separate parallel social life without this family and live your best life according to your higher values.

Life is short. Too short for petty games.

Naaah. This never works. Fight back and start gossiping about him

PP who said absolutely - it actually does work, because people do really know what a tool this guy is, and that he is trouble.

OP, pay attention to the turnover in the neighborhood house sales. If people only stay while their kids are in (closest school) - that is telling.

Disagree. You’ll be ostracized unless you do something if these are serious rumors. You need to tell people he is a liar and spread vicious nasty rumors against him.

Point is, people know who the effed up liars are in the neighborhood (their reputations precede them, and they are usually people who have been in the same neighborhood for a really long time), and who is just trying to live their life in peace. Do people really care if they are ostracized by crazy people whom everyone agrees is crazy?

OP, just live your life. No one cares about those people - they just don't - the other neighbors know who the real troublemakers are, and that they are bad news. The troublemakers repeat the same MO and same alarmist claims about people who make them look bad. Anyone with a brain knows the truth. The troublemakers are not well liked, people just try to stay off the troublemakers radar. It is a well known "secret", since the beginning of time.

The troublemakers have no where to go, so they stay and "mark their territory" by reverting to middle school BS.

Anonymous wrote:OP, don't retaliate. Continue to show up to social events. Be normal, be yourself. Most adults know that there are crazy rumor-spreading bullies. They will watch you and how you behave to determine who the real baddie is. You need to remember that truth is eternal and that most people will side with you if you are on the right. It can feel lonely and isolating while you are going through it because very few people will pull you aside and tell you they are on your side. But you probably have a lot of silent supporters, so keep a brave face and keep showing up.

This is not always true. Lots of people will simply not care what the truth is. They will want to stay out of it enough that however it turns out, no on is mad at them. And then whoever "wins" they'll just say "oh yeah, that other person was crazy" and the truth will never really come into it.

Not that many people have actual integrity or care that much about other people, sorry to say. Especially not in these kind of social circles.

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure if I’m more taken aback by your story OP or the responses who are like “oh yeah this happened to me” or “yeah I could see this happening.” Where do you all live? Who has the time for this much drama after working and dealing with kids?

And just because you all live in the same cul de sac isn't a basis for a friendship. Keeping a cordial distance with neighbors is a good idea to avoid this type of drama.

OP, don't retaliate. Continue to show up to social events. Be normal, be yourself. Most adults know that there are crazy rumor-spreading bullies. They will watch you and how you behave to determine who the real baddie is. You need to remember that truth is eternal and that most people will side with you if you are on the right. It can feel lonely and isolating while you are going through it because very few people will pull you aside and tell you they are on your side. But you probably have a lot of silent supporters, so keep a brave face and keep showing up.

I won't get specific, but it's the Mt. Vernon/Ft. Hunt general area.

That is incredibly specific, actually.

Ugh. I know a guy exactly like this. I think most people are on to him, but he isn’t the type of guy you want to cross. He seems to know everyone, somehow, and is a powerful guy. Lives off a very profitable inherited business and has lots of time to socialize and meddle in everything under the sun. His wife seems nice and oblivious but who knows…

I’d ignore it. Definitely don’t make an enemy out of this sort of person- will probably come back to but you (or even your kids) at some point.

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure if I’m more taken aback by your story OP or the responses who are like “oh yeah this happened to me” or “yeah I could see this happening.” Where do you all live? Who has the time for this much drama after working and dealing with kids?

I am a pp who went through something similar. There is definitely a pattern with these blow hard one-uppers. I'd agree with op, if you meet some mediocre stooge who brags your ear off, stay away. They also bad mouth just about all the people they are friends with nonchalantly. It's probably just a way to appear "greater than" because they are usually lacking.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would start rumors about him.

I would do this too.

Absolutely.

Absolutely not.

Treat others the way you would like to be treated. Within reason.

Stooping to their level won’t feel good for long.

As a PP said, cultivate a separate parallel social life without this family and live your best life according to your higher values.

Life is short. Too short for petty games.

Naaah. This never works. Fight back and start gossiping about him

PP who said absolutely - it actually does work, because people do really know what a tool this guy is, and that he is trouble.

OP, pay attention to the turnover in the neighborhood house sales. If people only stay while their kids are in (closest school) - that is telling.

Disagree. You’ll be ostracized unless you do something if these are serious rumors. You need to tell people he is a liar and spread vicious nasty rumors against him.

Way too long, get to the point.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have encountered this but not in my neighborhood. I bet most people see it but just choose to not engage or stay out of it.

+1

This is actually true. When my friend moved, a bunch of former neighbors came forth with some stories about the old neighborhood troublemaker/s. One or two were doozies. The stories were backed up at different times, by different people, who did not know each other (ie: the stories, form over the many years, were all true).

OP, there are some of these types of people who are drawn to striver neighborhoods. You just have to learn that they are crazy, and they will try to deflect from their issues by trying to draw attention to a particular neighbor who makes them look bad. Which clearly is not very difficult for the troublemaker/s to look bad - they do a fine job all by themselves!

People know the truth, you have to ignore the crazy.

Best advice. Don't stoop to their level. People play dumb but they know.

Anonymous wrote:I have encountered this but not in my neighborhood. I bet most people see it but just choose to not engage or stay out of it.

+1

This is actually true. When my friend moved, a bunch of former neighbors came forth with some stories about the old neighborhood troublemaker/s. One or two were doozies. The stories were backed up at different times, by different people, who did not know each other (ie: the stories, form over the many years, were all true).

OP, there are some of these types of people who are drawn to striver neighborhoods. You just have to learn that they are crazy, and they will try to deflect from their issues by trying to draw attention to a particular neighbor who makes them look bad. Which clearly is not very difficult for the troublemaker/s to look bad - they do a fine job all by themselves!

People know the truth, you have to ignore the crazy.