Anonymous
Post 11/15/2023 15:54     Subject: Mother in law is a copy cat (petty post)
Anonymous wrote:Petty post…I’m sorry at times this gets at me.


My mother in law keeps copying me. We are over 40 years apart. We have different skin tones yet she will buy the makeup colors I wear. I’ve gotten into green colored clothing and now suddenly after our trip, this woman who only wore gray black and dk brown is wearing green and proclaiming she’s colorful. I started wearing super baggy jeans and now she’s ordered similar pairs. My earrings she saw the pearls and had to have the same. She saw my phone and cover combo. Had to get the same.

If this was my sister or even sister in law. It would NOT bug me.


Wow, I would take this as a backwards compliment, irritating but she's Cleary doing it bc she admires your style as annoying as that is.
Anonymous
Post 11/15/2023 14:44     Subject: Re:Mother in law is a copy cat (petty post)
Start wearing hip hop shirts and neon leggings and dye your hair pink. Let's see how far she'll take it. Sounds like fun.
Anonymous
Post 11/13/2023 12:42     Subject: Mother in law is a copy cat (petty post)
I get it OP and have a family member like this. It feels really creepy especially when you are not close and don't feel comfortable with the person to begin with.
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2023 16:31     Subject: Re:Mother in law is a copy cat (petty post)
Anonymous wrote:This isn’t a big deal.

My MIL used to post meals I made on social and claim that she made them.

It really annoyed me the first time she did this. I did stop putting in so much effort for her benefit after that. I didn’t appreciate being used as a tool for her social benefit.


OMG.
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2023 16:28     Subject: Mother in law is a copy cat (petty post)
Your style doesn’t sound all that great. Feel flattered someone likes it.

I think it is not uncommon to buy something someone else has. Over the years, I may have bought several similar pieces as friends. This past year, I bought pink like others.

Who cares if she bought something green or bought some baggy jeans?

My friend had a cute black blazer. I bought a black blazer, mini skirt, some boots, etc. The stores are stocked with this. Will my friend think I was copying her because I bought a blazer and some boots??? I buy new boots every year and wear more boots than my friend.
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2023 13:06     Subject: Mother in law is a copy cat (petty post)
I'm a bit overwhelmed by fashion choices so if I see a good friend wearing something I might ask who makes it and order it (talking out of town friends so we wouldn't be obvious clones).
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2023 13:03     Subject: Re:Mother in law is a copy cat (petty post)
This isn’t a big deal.

My MIL used to post meals I made on social and claim that she made them.

It really annoyed me the first time she did this. I did stop putting in so much effort for her benefit after that. I didn’t appreciate being used as a tool for her social benefit.
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2023 12:55     Subject: Mother in law is a copy cat (petty post)
Anonymous wrote:I think it’s so weird when people are bothered by this. I would be flattered if pretty much anyone I knew tried to replicate my style.


I don't think it's weird to be bothered by this but it is a compliment when someone finds you so pulled together that they want to dress just like you.
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2023 05:04     Subject: Mother in law is a copy cat (petty post)
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My own mom did this to me. It was one of her many narcissistic traits. It didn’t matter that I told her it made me uncomfortable etc. we don’t speak anymore.


This is a narcissistic personality trait? My mom used to do this to me growing up all the time.


She admired your style and no this isn’t a narcissistic trait. Everything doesn’t have a pathological trait.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2023 18:07     Subject: Mother in law is a copy cat (petty post)
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I commiserate. A coworker did this to me. It was the lawyer in the office across the hall from me, and it got really weird. At first it was glasses; I got glasses for reading and for looking at the computer screen. She got the exact same glasses -- with zero prescription. She always wore ugly loafer type shoes, but then she started wearing high heels that looked just like mine, and she couldn't walk in them to save her life. Then it was my bag, she got the same one. Then she started ordering the same Boden dresses I was wearing. It creeped me the hell out. I never said anything -- what was I going to do? Cry out "You're copying me!" like an 8th grader? No longer at that job.

My sister has done some of this as well. A few years ago at Christmas my niece was holding a bottle of perfume and saying how "We get it for mom every year! It's her signature scent! She's always been known for it!" ... and... it was my signature scent. From about 20 years ago. I love that perfume and I was known for it, not her. I don't wear it anymore, it's very out of date. Super irritating anyway.

To the people who think it is flattery and say people shouldn't be annoyed -- I say it is more like IP theft. It annoys the hell out of me.


Oh boy, I could be that co-worker. I look around for styles and sometimes I will buy something I like that I've seen on another person. I fully admit, I have a co-worker who is super stylish and me, being a middle aged millenial who feels like I don't know what's stylish anymore, I've definitely mimicked a few of her styles because I liked them. Not like, the exact same pattern or anything though. That would definitely be too far. But then it keeps going - I have another co-worker who admired a few things I (and some other co-workers) wore and then went an ordered them herself! We were just flattered though. We all get along and don't see this as a big deal.

My MIL does some irritating things like folding my laundry, etc, redoing kids drawers, but not copying what I wear. I still view that as flattery, it wouldn't bother me!


DP to add, having a "signature scent" seems kinda weird/controlling - nobody else can have that scent?


PP here with the perfume story. I didn't object to my sister wearing the perfume; I objected to her having passed off part of my life story as hers. It was big weird lie. Not cool.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2023 17:33     Subject: Mother in law is a copy cat (petty post)
Anonymous wrote:TBH I am kind of a trendsetter and a lot of people copy my style, jokes, etc. My boss, other colleagues, and my sister both do it a lot. I find it flattering. Usually they ask me where I got stuff and I happily send them links.

Is this a new role for you? Enjoy it!


Except when my sister looks at tags and don’t ask me where I got stuff and then pretends she’s not copying and that it’s a coincidence. Creepy.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2023 17:18     Subject: Re:Mother in law is a copy cat (petty post)
I might be an outlier but I think this is sweet. She clearly has a very high opinion of your style. I prefer your MIL over the one who rearranges the kitchen, which is beyond annoying. FWIW, my mom, my DD and I inspire each other’s styles often and ask each others opinion. My other DD has a very unique style and I recently got totally inspired by her to wear my old Docs and listen to 90s music again. Are we all narcissistic? I hope not, but if we are and that’s all we do, it seems quite harmless.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2023 16:56     Subject: Mother in law is a copy cat (petty post)
Anonymous wrote:Our guest room had a weird outlet arrangement near the bed so I had to kind of stack some things so a cord would reach when the inlaws came to stay. It was never mentioned by anyone. Later when we were staying at my inlaws' house, I noticed MIL had arranged the same kind of stack in two of their bedrooms! (Think something like a pencil case on a cake pan on a side table) Too specific to be a coincidence. I didn't say anything. What could I say, "Oh, I see you came up with the same solution for an outlet problem you don't have"?

Maybe she thought I was trying some modern decor? It's still funny to me.


This is hilarious!
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2023 16:15     Subject: Mother in law is a copy cat (petty post)
Virtually every MIL post on this website is “petty.”
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2023 16:14     Subject: Mother in law is a copy cat (petty post)
I do this to my SIL. I really like her and she has excellent taste and I don't. I hope it doesn't bother her! I am always giving her compliments and obviously don't copy everything. Plus her budget is much larger than mine so I couldn't anyway.