Anonymous wrote:Wow, I am childfree and so glad that my parents don't feel the way you do. They wanted to have a child to have the experience of raising a child, and that was their decision, not mine, obviously. I do not want this experience, and they understand and accept my decision. Frankly, more and more parents should expect to not have grandchildren, as younger generations come to terms with the devastation that climate change is wreaking on the earth.
Anonymous wrote:no it's notAnonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This has been an interesting thread for me as a SAHM of five kids. It’s been good to reflect on that. I definitely didn’t have them just to have grandchildren although I do want grandkids and absolutely expect to help my adult children any way I can. But if kids are not in their future, so be it. I think it would upset me if they decided against kids because they didn’t want to pass on a possible mental illness or something. Every life, even a troubled one, has worth. What a lack of hope in that perspective.
Half the world is on fire, the other half is flooded. Deciding not to bring a child into this world is a kindness.
Anonymous wrote:I am the PP, and PS, yes I will help as much as I can I if/when they chose to procreate. But I vowed that I will not be the source of pressure one way or the other. Their bodies, their choices.
Anonymous wrote:Kids and grandkids continue to go to moms and dads house on holidays.
My 83 year old MIL is in perfect health and has owner her house since 1963.
This will be her 60th year celebrating Xmas eve at her house. All her kids, sine in laws, daughter in laws. grandkids, great grand kids go. My wife celebrated Xmas Eve in same house she grew up in.
I guess she could be a widow with her three barren spinster kids coming over and they could talk about death and there graves covered in weeds and possessions thrown to curb as they one by one die with their dad little empty funerals
Anonymous wrote:Op, if you are not a troll.
I have kids. Always felt the pressure to do so. Only child myself.
I will tell my kids that they should only have kids if they REALLY want to and can afford it financially. No pressure from me. I DGAF if they do/don't have kids.
Anonymous wrote:OP you had kids for you. You find meaning in life and control your life.
If your kids don’t want kids that’s none of your business.
That said, I agree with the PP that said if I don’t have grandkids I will spend every penny I earn. My childless kids (if that is their choice) can earn their own way through life. Why should I give them that bit extra help if there is no continuity in the generations, especially since they would be making an adult decision not to have kids. Now if they do manage to reproduce, they will inherit handsomely. And. . . no, I will not tell them this; my money; my business. Now if I look at it as family money then it’s family business, but that requires grandchildren for me.
Anonymous wrote:I don't have kid and am not going to. Should I just kill myself because I'm useless to my parents?
no it's notAnonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This has been an interesting thread for me as a SAHM of five kids. It’s been good to reflect on that. I definitely didn’t have them just to have grandchildren although I do want grandkids and absolutely expect to help my adult children any way I can. But if kids are not in their future, so be it. I think it would upset me if they decided against kids because they didn’t want to pass on a possible mental illness or something. Every life, even a troubled one, has worth. What a lack of hope in that perspective.
Half the world is on fire, the other half is flooded. Deciding not to bring a child into this world is a kindness.
Anonymous wrote:This has been an interesting thread for me as a SAHM of five kids. It’s been good to reflect on that. I definitely didn’t have them just to have grandchildren although I do want grandkids and absolutely expect to help my adult children any way I can. But if kids are not in their future, so be it. I think it would upset me if they decided against kids because they didn’t want to pass on a possible mental illness or something. Every life, even a troubled one, has worth. What a lack of hope in that perspective.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:To clarify, I love my kids and will always love them no matter what they do, whether it's their choice or not. I will also always support them emotionally. But financially only if I benefit also.Anonymous wrote:Some of us can't have kids due to infertility, and don't want invasive IVF. It's a lot of money for something with no guarantee.
I've figured out how to give my life meaning even without being able to have kids. I'm sure, with some therapy like me, you can figure that out without grandkids.
Does that sound cold, or are you grown adults expecting to still be babied by your parents? Especially the PP who's crying about how her mother didn't give her attention until she had her own kid. Some of you still have some maturing to do.
That's fine. Use your money how you want.
But if you want grandkids, you might want to let your kids know that you will loan them or give them money if they need it for IVF and infertility treatments and/or adoption.
Lots of people are having infertility issues, as our food and water supply gets more and more messed up.
Also remember that the younger your kids have sex, the more likely it is you will be a grandparent earlier. So if you want to be grandparents, encourage your kids to date etc...
Anonymous wrote:To clarify, I love my kids and will always love them no matter what they do, whether it's their choice or not. I will also always support them emotionally. But financially only if I benefit also.Anonymous wrote:Some of us can't have kids due to infertility, and don't want invasive IVF. It's a lot of money for something with no guarantee.
I've figured out how to give my life meaning even without being able to have kids. I'm sure, with some therapy like me, you can figure that out without grandkids.
Does that sound cold, or are you grown adults expecting to still be babied by your parents? Especially the PP who's crying about how her mother didn't give her attention until she had her own kid. Some of you still have some maturing to do.