Anonymous wrote:You need to ask yourself why you really want to have your toddler boy show off painted nails outside the home. Signaling that you are progressive is not a good reason.

You should of course tell the child care provider that she is out of place for wiping the polish off and telling him it's only for girls. That's not her place at all, I agree. That's your place. You should cut back on this activity until he is old enough to choose for himself whether he wants to challenge social norms and be an accessory to your need to signal.

Anonymous wrote:You need to ask yourself why you really want to have your toddler boy show off painted nails outside the home. Signaling that you are progressive is not a good reason.

You should of course tell the child care provider that she is out of place for wiping the polish off and telling him it's only for girls. That's not her place at all, I agree. That's your place. You should cut back on this activity until he is old enough to choose for himself whether he wants to challenge social norms and be an accessory to your need to signal.

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Does this little boy have a male roll model at home?

Hard to imagine that many men who want their preschool sons to be wearing nail polish.

God, you’re all such a bunch of out of touch dinosaurs. Are you 80, or just MAGA loons?

Nope, just parents of boys who have friends and aren't bullied for acting weird. Go ahead and put a big pink bow in your boy's hair as he heads to school, and then go start a thread about why your child has trouble making friends. You do you.

The kid wasn't bullied though and there is no evidence that he has trouble making friends.

NP but I don't think that was PP's point. If you guys are fine with bending gender norms for kids then why not put a bow in your son's hair? Or buy them dresses? I'm sure you enforce gender norms for your kids all day long. So maybe get off your high horse on this.

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Anonymous wrote:
Does this little boy have a male roll model at home?

Hard to imagine that many men who want their preschool sons to be wearing nail polish.

God, you’re all such a bunch of out of touch dinosaurs. Are you 80, or just MAGA loons?

Nope, just parents of boys who have friends and aren't bullied for acting weird. Go ahead and put a big pink bow in your boy's hair as he heads to school, and then go start a thread about why your child has trouble making friends. You do you.

The kid wasn't bullied though and there is no evidence that he has trouble making friends.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Does this little boy have a male roll model at home?

Hard to imagine that many men who want their preschool sons to be wearing nail polish.

God, you’re all such a bunch of out of touch dinosaurs. Are you 80, or just MAGA loons?

Nope, just parents of boys who have friends and aren't bullied for acting weird. Go ahead and put a big pink bow in your boy's hair as he heads to school, and then go start a thread about why your child has trouble making friends. You do you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Does this little boy have a male roll model at home?

Hard to imagine that many men who want their preschool sons to be wearing nail polish.

God, you’re all such a bunch of out of touch dinosaurs. Are you 80, or just MAGA loons?

Anonymous wrote:
Does this little boy have a male roll model at home?

Hard to imagine that many men who want their preschool sons to be wearing nail polish.

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Anonymous wrote:Woke signaling aside -- which this is by the way, conscious or not -- this always ends poorly.

You say you can't believe someone would give a three year old a hard time about something as silly as nail polish.

I say I can't believe a parent would set their child up for bullying or embarrassment over something as silly as nail polish.

I wear nail polish sometimes and my young two sons ask about it. I respond, "Nail polish is for girls. Are y'all ready for your snack?" Case closed.

I agree their interest in it is purely innocent, but because I love and care about them, I wouldn't open them up to ridicule.

So, you're raising kids to be the bullies, and you think OP is the bad parent?

You do know that in the end, the bullies are the ones who end up miserable? You don't love your kids enough to prevent that. That's really sad.

Not at all. I would never encourage them to make comments about someone else. In fact, my son actually came home saying that one of his buddies had painted nails. I said, "Oh gotcha! It sounds like that in his family boys paint their nails sometimes. In our family, just the girls paint nails. You ready to go get in the car?"

There are realities to life, and biological and cultural differences between boys and girls. I'm sorry you are fighting that every step of the way, and overcomplicating simple concepts for your very young children as a result. You don't love YOUR kids enough, it sounds like.

Anonymous wrote:Woke signaling aside -- which this is by the way, conscious or not -- this always ends poorly.

You say you can't believe someone would give a three year old a hard time about something as silly as nail polish.

I say I can't believe a parent would set their child up for bullying or embarrassment over something as silly as nail polish.

I wear nail polish sometimes and my young two sons ask about it. I respond, "Nail polish is for girls. Are y'all ready for your snack?" Case closed.

I agree their interest in it is purely innocent, but because I love and care about them, I wouldn't open them up to ridicule.

Anonymous wrote:Nail polish is for girls. As are unicorns, glittery heels, butterfly clips and dangly earrings . That boys may occasionally like these things is doesn’t change the simple fact that they are largely marketed to, purchased by and given to little girls. If a woman uses Old Spice cologne because she prefers the scent, do you have a “stern talk” with people who say it’s for men? I can’t tell if common sense is lost here or if mothers just want to find things to be upset about, but lecturing your son’s caregiver on her absolutely correct observation that nail polish is for girls makes you insufferable.

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Anonymous wrote:I feel as though there are two different issues here.

One is that I happen to think it's fine for a little boy to wear toenail polish, or to try on the princess gowns in the dress up corner, or whatever. The message that something is just for boys or just for girls has been really hurtful to kids who are gender nonconforming, whether it's for a few minutes (e.g. football player who takes ballet stereotype) or more persistently.

But the other is that as a parent, when I leave my kid in someone's care to go to work, I expect that person to reinforce my place as parent, not to undermine it. I had an issue where I was sending watered down juice to school with my kid, on the recommendation of my pediatrician, because of a specific medical issue. The preschool teacher took the juice away and told my kid it was "junk food" and "not for school" and that I was "wrong". I was livid, partially because he actually needed the juice, but mostly because, unless I'm doing something abusive or unsafe, or I made a mistake on an indisputable fact, you don't tell him I'm wrong, or that the care I provide is wrong. What my kid brings in his lunch box is my choice. What this OP's kid wears to school on his body is his choice. The school's job is to hold up the parent, not tear them down.

You live in la-la land.

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Anonymous wrote:My son likes to paint his toe nails, probably because I (mom) do it and it's fun to do together, and colorful, and he's 3. He just asked one day, and we did it.

Today he asked me to take it off, so I did and said "ok, cool, do you want to leave it off or another color?" and he said a childcare person told him it was "only for girls." I told him that person is wrong and sometimes people are wrong and nail polish is for anyone who likes nail polish. Any advice on what to say to him to both make him confident in whatever he wants to do and feel OK ignoring childcare people in some instances (like this) but not in most others? I feel like we should talk about it, but also I don't want to give this idea credit by talking too much about it.

Secondarily, I generally love this childcare person and my kids also love her, I'm a little annoyed with her because obviously we knew we were OK with the nail polish, but then told him otherwise...

At least in this situation, she’s a better caregiver than you.

Stop trying to encourage your boy to look like a girl. Let him be a boy.

Are you single parenting?

I don't wear nail polish. Am I not a woman? Good grief.

Good grief, no one cares about your nails.

Anonymous wrote:You need to ask yourself why you really want to have your toddler boy show off painted nails outside the home. Signaling that you are progressive is not a good reason.

You should of course tell the child care provider that she is out of place for wiping the polish off and telling him it's only for girls. That's not her place at all, I agree. That's your place. You should cut back on this activity until he is old enough to choose for himself whether he wants to challenge social norms and be an accessory to your need to signal.