PP

Love “them” being the schools, not them as my child to be clear

DC previously attended a top private elementary school and now attends a top secondary school both on the West Coast.

Not in a million years would I have considered donating $500k+ to get them in to either school as much as I love them.

Students get a spot because they are a good fit and it all balances out with total class cohort or they don’t. I know this donation for admission happens but I would not consider it a good investment. Instead, I’d apply to multiple schools, cast a wide net and let my child land at the best school for them. Getting hung up on “one school/perfect school”, like many do with college, is a recipe for disappointment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’ll be shooting your self in the foot. The only time it’s appropriate to do this is if you are an alum or a grandparent was. Otherwise it’s crass. How many rich parents can afford to do what you are doing? Tons. Money is a flush in DC and NYC.

The schools do it all the time. You may think it’s crass but there it is. Where do you think the term development admit comes from?

The schools do it all the time but it has to be in an innocuous fashion. Like the head of school recommending you as a good donor. Or you expressing an interest in the school and donating for multiple years before you actually do admissions. Whipping out your check book and saying how much is bribery. And frankly five years of tuition, let’s say 300k, these schools are so competitive most rich people can do that if they thought that guaranteed them a place.

I think at our school the bribe rate is at lease 7 figures. Most rich people can’t do this, but some can and everyone knows. You will also have to acknowledge the fact that you kid will know they didn’t get in on merit. AND your kid will have to wonder if the other kids just want to be friends because their parents did this. Some kids don’t care but the more adjusted, socially savvy ones do.

This is such a giant bunch of bunk. First of all, how is a kid giong to know this? What parents would tell them?
"Hey son. Just wanted to let you know that we're writing a big check to help your application because without the cash you weren't getting in".

And these kids don't stand out as being inferior students. There are plenty of kids floating around the top schools who aren't academic super stars: legacies, siblings, lifers, athletes, etc. Probably a full 50% are not there on academics alone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’ll be shooting your self in the foot. The only time it’s appropriate to do this is if you are an alum or a grandparent was. Otherwise it’s crass. How many rich parents can afford to do what you are doing? Tons. Money is a flush in DC and NYC.

The schools do it all the time. You may think it’s crass but there it is. Where do you think the term development admit comes from?

The schools do it all the time but it has to be in an innocuous fashion. Like the head of school recommending you as a good donor. Or you expressing an interest in the school and donating for multiple years before you actually do admissions. Whipping out your check book and saying how much is bribery. And frankly five years of tuition, let’s say 300k, these schools are so competitive most rich people can do that if they thought that guaranteed them a place.

I think at our school the bribe rate is at lease 7 figures. Most rich people can’t do this, but some can and everyone knows. You will also have to acknowledge the fact that you kid will know they didn’t get in on merit. AND your kid will have to wonder if the other kids just want to be friends because their parents did this. Some kids don’t care but the more adjusted, socially savvy ones do.

Anonymous wrote:You’ll be shooting your self in the foot. The only time it’s appropriate to do this is if you are an alum or a grandparent was. Otherwise it’s crass. How many rich parents can afford to do what you are doing? Tons. Money is a flush in DC and NYC.

This!

Plus, you must know the admin directors are not in a position to do this for their own child. The reactions you get here are very similar to the reactions that the AD will hide when you make that offer, i.e., they will hide the vomit in their mouth. Then, they will take your money and your child will only get a spot if they already qualify - like a legacy child does.

Anonymous wrote:Are you that concerned that your DC won't get in? If you are, there must be red flags which the schools would also see. I doubt a donation would help in that case.

No red flags except being late to the game. We didn't apply with the entering "cohort style?" class. Kid is smart, kind, athletic and personable. Our plan is to try our luck applying and just make the most of public at this point. I might recommend other privates but my kid is fairly opinionated about applying places and nothing else sparked interest.

Anonymous wrote:Meanwhile public school parents have to deal with little Larla having to evacuate her classroom weekly because her classmates are having daily meltdowns!

We're going/ have been going to public. As Pp stated, we do not have the same social class background. This is part of the reason I just discovered this perfect school. I looked at other area privates but this was the first to appeal to me and my kid enough to want to apply.

I helped with admissions at a K-8 in another state, and they specifically would not take donations if offered through the course of admissions and in fact one family was declined specifically because of it. Tread carefully. You can write on the application about fully supporting the fundraisers at your current school, etc. to show that you have a history of generous giving without actually offering.

Are you that concerned that your DC won't get in? If you are, there must be red flags which the schools would also see. I doubt a donation would help in that case.

Meanwhile public school parents have to deal with little Larla having to evacuate her classroom weekly because her classmates are having daily meltdowns!

Anonymous wrote:Op here, I only posted the op so the comments about ncs were not me. I'm nowhere near the DC or NY area (as stated in op) but these comments were helpful. I would be as one poster put it "a Joe Schmo" 3-400k donor (at 100k/yr to make it even less impressive) and as others stated I'm sure there are donors giving much more but most families likely don't as I noticed their donor circles didn't seem to go too high. It just doesn't look that hopeful as there are just a few spots and many applicants. I thought just maybe there was something we could do and I didn't know how much donations influence decisions, if at all. This doesn't seem like a school that needs to go that route, especially for somethings many others could offer. I'm glad I didn't embarrass myself by hinting at the prospect.

Obviously you don’t come from the social class these schools historically come from. Me either. So here’s an insight I have from being on the inside for a while.

I think it helps to have a good cover story for the development office. For example, I am interested in sending my kids to the school but I’m worried about diversity/athletics/STEM/etc. Is there a dedicated fund for my pet project and if I gave a $300k contribution can you give me some insight in how it would help your mission in the area of my pet interest?

Feel free to play very dumb despite having first researched what their development priority is. For example my kids’ school is building a new STEM library. Saying you’re curious about their efforts to expand STEM would be perfect. I think this conversation would give you a lot of insight into how your development case would be treated by your specific school.

Anonymous wrote:Our school has a designation on the list of financial contributors for families who have given for 3 or more consecutive years.
Several families who have been at the school for 2 years with their first kid (and arrived the same time we did) have the "3+ year" designation.
We gave as an accepted family (so basically the first time we could) and yet they had given before this.
It could be a random error or people are giving prior to acceptance.

They may be alumni.

Our school has a designation on the list of financial contributors for families who have given for 3 or more consecutive years.
Several families who have been at the school for 2 years with their first kid (and arrived the same time we did) have the "3+ year" designation.
We gave as an accepted family (so basically the first time we could) and yet they had given before this.
It could be a random error or people are giving prior to acceptance.

Anonymous wrote:I know it's obnoxious but how abhorrent is it to offer a big donation when applying to a private? How would one go about doing so? Is it ever done? I'm not in the dcum area but I imagine it would be a similar type of culture across private schools. I was thinking the equivalent of 5 years of tuition for this school. Does everyone do that anyway so it's not a big deal and not a boost at all?

I think if you donated half a million plus, they would give you extra consideration because it shows that you’re a team player and you’re “all in”—and even before you are technically in.

To the PP who wanted to buy their way into NCS, the school does not like to think of itself as being “bought,” so there is that.

If your kid needs to buy their way in, assume they’re going to have a miserable time. If they manage to graduate.

I have kids at STA, and they’re gifted bright and at the top of their class but still stagger sometimes at the sheer quantity of work STA throws at them. They don’t have much down time.

NCS is known for having an even worse workload and harsher grading system.