Anonymous wrote:I have come across this interesting phenomenon where the UMC young professionals I come across in their twenties and thirties are sort of cold and aloof. They aren’t very friendly and do not go out of their way to befriend you.

In comparison middle class people are so warm and friendly. As are the upper class people.

Why do you think this is?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have come across this interesting phenomenon where the UMC young professionals I come across in their twenties and thirties are sort of cold and aloof. They aren’t very friendly and do not go out of their way to befriend you.

In comparison middle class people are so warm and friendly. As are the upper class people.

Why do you think this is?

I think it's the DC area. Most people are aloof and feel they are career and status focused. We lived up north and out west in Washington and people are more down to earth and friendly in both areas. My family from out west always says how cold people are here when they visit it's noticeable to people from other areas.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have come across this interesting phenomenon where the UMC young professionals I come across in their twenties and thirties are sort of cold and aloof. They aren’t very friendly and do not go out of their way to befriend you.

In comparison middle class people are so warm and friendly. As are the upper class people.

Why do you think this is?

I disagree with just about everything posted here. UMC people are not friendly because the do not have time to be. If you are rich you have time. Poor you have time. MC -- not much time but some. UMC are pulled in so many directions at the same time that they simply don't have time to be friendly with everyone.

If you are UMC through work your work consumes 12 plus hours every day. Then add in kid activities.

When I am going through my day I am thinking about maybe a half dozen things at work and with kids and spouse. No time for you sorry to say.

Absolutely ridiculous. You can be busy but friendly and kind.

OP is complaining about people not wanting to be their friend. You can be cordial and polite but not really have more time for people. The day is only so long and there are other priorities. OP said people aren't going out of their way to befriend them. Why would they? They are busy, as several have noted. That doesn't make them unkind.

Sit down. People aren't clamoring to be your friend.

Go read the OP. That's exactly what is being said. Try again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who need other people often have stronger social networks by necessity. People who give each other rides home from work,
watch each others kids, help each other move, loan a pick up truck, etc. When you don’t have a lot of money, you develop an informal economy where you barter for services.

Who do you hear worrying or complaining about childcare, days of school, etc? It’s often UMC moms because they don’t have a network of people to help out. When I was a kid, I didn’t go to extended day. My mom paid a stay at home mom on our street a small amount to walk me to the bus with her own kids each morning. We also lived in a place where the dentist, the woman who cleaned our house, our mechanic, the manager of a local restaurant we frequented - all were parents of kids at my school.

I am now in a position that I can pay for a lot of services. I don’t know the women who clean my house. I don’t know where my hairdresser or dentist live. I don’t need to - nor is it considered rude that I don’t know their kids names. I am friendly and connected to my neighbors, my coworkers, parents at my kids school or their activities and sports teams. I am not outgoing with people outside those groups. I like to think I am courteous and polite, but I am not asking your dog’s name or trying to figure out if your grandmother went to high school with my uncle.

This is on the nose. There is social science research supporting this explanation.

Anonymous wrote:I have come across this interesting phenomenon where the UMC young professionals I come across in their twenties and thirties are sort of cold and aloof. They aren’t very friendly and do not go out of their way to befriend you.

In comparison middle class people are so warm and friendly. As are the upper class people.

Why do you think this is?

Anonymous wrote:First, truly upper class people know that you’re no competition. Their assured success for themselves and their offspring have nothing to do with you. So they can be gracious with you.

Middle-class people are clowns. They are truck drivers and secretaries, or maybe they are Feds destined to max out at GS-12. They think you’re supposed to follow the Golden Rule rather than assessing whether the other person is worthy.

UMCs have attained success but know it’s tenuous. After all, this is America. So yeah, I’ll coach your kid, but mine will pitch and play shortstop. Unless of course your FIL is GC at a corporation that could lock in my partnership if I bring their business. Then my kid will play 3b or 2b, pitch #2, and play short when yours pitches.

Anonymous wrote:People who need other people often have stronger social networks by necessity. People who give each other rides home from work,
watch each others kids, help each other move, loan a pick up truck, etc. When you don’t have a lot of money, you develop an informal economy where you barter for services.

Who do you hear worrying or complaining about childcare, days of school, etc? It’s often UMC moms because they don’t have a network of people to help out. When I was a kid, I didn’t go to extended day. My mom paid a stay at home mom on our street a small amount to walk me to the bus with her own kids each morning. We also lived in a place where the dentist, the woman who cleaned our house, our mechanic, the manager of a local restaurant we frequented - all were parents of kids at my school.

I am now in a position that I can pay for a lot of services. I don’t know the women who clean my house. I don’t know where my hairdresser or dentist live. I don’t need to - nor is it considered rude that I don’t know their kids names. I am friendly and connected to my neighbors, my coworkers, parents at my kids school or their activities and sports teams. I am not outgoing with people outside those groups. I like to think I am courteous and polite, but I am not asking your dog’s name or trying to figure out if your grandmother went to high school with my uncle.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Related to the people talking about social bonds and community--Statistically, Middle Class people (real middle class, not DCUM middle class) are much more likely to regularly attend church than their upper middle class counterparts.

And going to church certainly does not make them better people.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Related to the people talking about social bonds and community--Statistically, Middle Class people (real middle class, not DCUM middle class) are much more likely to regularly attend church than their upper middle class counterparts.

And going to church certainly does not make them better people.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have come across this interesting phenomenon where the UMC young professionals I come across in their twenties and thirties are sort of cold and aloof. They aren’t very friendly and do not go out of their way to befriend you.

In comparison middle class people are so warm and friendly. As are the upper class people.

Why do you think this is?

I disagree with just about everything posted here. UMC people are not friendly because the do not have time to be. If you are rich you have time. Poor you have time. MC -- not much time but some. UMC are pulled in so many directions at the same time that they simply don't have time to be friendly with everyone.

If you are UMC through work your work consumes 12 plus hours every day. Then add in kid activities.

When I am going through my day I am thinking about maybe a half dozen things at work and with kids and spouse. No time for you sorry to say.

Absolutely ridiculous. You can be busy but friendly and kind.

OP is complaining about people not wanting to be their friend. You can be cordial and polite but not really have more time for people. The day is only so long and there are other priorities. OP said people aren't going out of their way to befriend them. Why would they? They are busy, as several have noted. That doesn't make them unkind.

Sit down. People aren't clamoring to be your friend.

Anonymous wrote:Related to the people talking about social bonds and community--Statistically, Middle Class people (real middle class, not DCUM middle class) are much more likely to regularly attend church than their upper middle class counterparts.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frankly I doubt that if you consort with middle class people, you are familiar with many upper class people. I don’t mean that in a snobby way, it’s just the truth. So I doubt your data pool is significant. Alternatively, if you’re mostly around UC, then I think you can’t really opine on the MC.

Are you serious? If you live and/or work in the DMV it’s mostly populated with UC/UMC and MC people.

Your neighbor in McLean: most likely UC or UMC
The EVP at your work UC or UMC
Your child’s teacher: MC or UMC
Your esthetician: MC or UMC