Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For adhd I think schools and in particular US schools (and sometimes parents) expect a level of independent exec functioning from a very young age now.
When I talked to friends in class at school growing up we got separated and told off. Same if we weren’t paying attention. No one thought it was something we fundamentally needed help with. And sometimes on adhd parent Facebook I see parents who are like ‘my kids have a host of things they have to do every am and they always forget at least 3’ - I can’t handle a host of things first thing now and I’m an adult.
We are expected to self regulate and independently operate or are considered ‘non typical’. Not that adhd isnt real and does not need assistance - my kid has been real hyperactive/ impulsive/ emotional/ bouncing off walls adhd. In the past he’d have been considered ‘just a boy’ and we would have done a lot of sports. Not sure it’s so much worse tbh. And asd tbh I’ve started to wonder if I have asd based on some of the comments on this board (need downtime to decompress/ anxiety/ introversion) but if I am then indeed yes so is everyone. The truth is I think many of us have aspects of the spectrum but the number and type you need to qualify for a dx has expanded so much it is very hard to know where the line is now which dilutes the diagnosis quite a bit

Tldr i suspect we are moving towards a new way of diagnosing where different ‘traits’ will be linked together to help build a more specific picture rather than relying on 2 diagnoses to cover the range of human differences and then wondering why so many people are now on or the other or both

+1000

I don't understand what they're thinking. I don't have ADHD but my kids do - and they could learn to manage better if expectations were more reasonable and if schools taught these schools sensibly. Instead of just expecting too much and then watching my kids not learn these skills.

Even our play played private progressive school put EVERYTHING online with a billion logins for 5th graders onward to use, plus a Chromebook that stays at school.

If the kid wanted checking online 5x a day they’d have no handouts, homework, schedule, due dates.

It was a double edged sword. Everything was there, but they had no skills or framework to process it into a single calendar or plan to get things done.
It was a disaster and now all the parents have to login a ton of times per week.

That plus the 40 pound backpack and no one else’s a locker are just dumb.

Anonymous wrote:It's also possible that you're doing a great job of parenting your ASD/ADHD kids, and that you look for parents with a similar style to yours, feeling like it's a connection, and not realizing that it's good for your particular type of kids, so you end up with parent friends with similar types of kids.

Similarly, you might be gravitating towards setting that meet your kids needs, and finding a more than average number of kids with similar issues because their needs are met there too.

This. The kids that my ADHD kid can create connections with tend to be more like her. They are more accepting and resilient with one another somehow.

I don't know where you people who don't think executive functioning skills are explicitly taught in the classroom are from. My 3 kids go/went to schools in FCPS and these skills were first taught in K. They weren't labelled as 'executive functioning/study skills' but the structure/routine of the classroom followed the model. Kids were explicityly told what to do, how to do it and when to do it. In middle school, every student is required to have a 'big fat binder' and have it organized as outlined by the school. It, absolutely, is an organizer and used the same way by all the teachers. If a kid is still struggling despite this explicit instruction, they can take the Strategies for Success elective which is even more explicit, structured and supports learning executive functioning/study skills. The kids don't even have to have an IEP/504 to take the elective! And, if they demonstrate the can do it independently, they can transfer to a different elective at the end of the quarter. The class is also available in high school.

Two of my three kids have ADHD. My oldest DS with ADHD took the SFS 2 full years in middle school and still struggled in high school. There was a behavioral element to it but his ADHD was the biggest factor. My younger DS didn't need it at all and his ADHD is at an equivalent level than his older brother's. My NT middle child pick it up early and took the EF skills to the next level without additional instruction/support.

Anonymous wrote:For adhd I think schools and in particular US schools (and sometimes parents) expect a level of independent exec functioning from a very young age now.
When I talked to friends in class at school growing up we got separated and told off. Same if we weren’t paying attention. No one thought it was something we fundamentally needed help with. And sometimes on adhd parent Facebook I see parents who are like ‘my kids have a host of things they have to do every am and they always forget at least 3’ - I can’t handle a host of things first thing now and I’m an adult.
We are expected to self regulate and independently operate or are considered ‘non typical’. Not that adhd isnt real and does not need assistance - my kid has been real hyperactive/ impulsive/ emotional/ bouncing off walls adhd. In the past he’d have been considered ‘just a boy’ and we would have done a lot of sports. Not sure it’s so much worse tbh. And asd tbh I’ve started to wonder if I have asd based on some of the comments on this board (need downtime to decompress/ anxiety/ introversion) but if I am then indeed yes so is everyone. The truth is I think many of us have aspects of the spectrum but the number and type you need to qualify for a dx has expanded so much it is very hard to know where the line is now which dilutes the diagnosis quite a bit

Tldr i suspect we are moving towards a new way of diagnosing where different ‘traits’ will be linked together to help build a more specific picture rather than relying on 2 diagnoses to cover the range of human differences and then wondering why so many people are now on or the other or both

+1000

I don't understand what they're thinking. I don't have ADHD but my kids do - and they could learn to manage better if expectations were more reasonable and if schools taught these schools sensibly. Instead of just expecting too much and then watching my kids not learn these skills.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes and no. More kids are (correctly) diagnosed and identified earlier than in prior generations. People are more open about discussing accommodations and supports. I think it’s great. Our Gifted and Talented coordinator at our school talks about how ALL kids deserve to learn and practice critical thinking and creativity. I hope we move towards a school culture where it is recognized that all kids benefit from being explicitly taught social skills and executive functioning strategies.

My older child probably has ADHD or is on the mild end of the ASD spectrum. A generation ago he would have flown under the radar as a quirky kid, prone to day dreaming, a bit introverted. If I had only one child, I would not think anything was different about him. The main clue is that I have ADHD / ASD diagnoses that I got as an adult and often when my child does something quirky or frustrating my mom says “you were that way” or “you used to do that”.

The other main tell that he’s likely to get these diagnoses at some point is that I have two children and my younger son is so clearly NT in comparison.

I actually think adhd is standing out so much now because they aren’t teaching executive functioning at all. I went to private school and remember the teachers drilling us about organization. We had to write everything in assignment books, file papers in the right folders and be on task.

My dd is mild adhd and basically teachers will let her daydream all day, every day. She’s not a problem child and she is smart, so they don’t care. They have complained to me about her desk organization at school. Or how she’s not on task. Sorry but she’s at school to 7 hours a day, this is solidly in their realm. I have her very organized at home. They probably want me to medicate her and I’ll likely have to, but I really think she’d excel at a strict school.

NP. I agree with this. There are many things that schools could do/teach that would help students rather than expecting them to just figure it out for themselves. It's infuriating.

For adhd I think schools and in particular US schools (and sometimes parents) expect a level of independent exec functioning from a very young age now.
When I talked to friends in class at school growing up we got separated and told off. Same if we weren’t paying attention. No one thought it was something we fundamentally needed help with. And sometimes on adhd parent Facebook I see parents who are like ‘my kids have a host of things they have to do every am and they always forget at least 3’ - I can’t handle a host of things first thing now and I’m an adult.
We are expected to self regulate and independently operate or are considered ‘non typical’. Not that adhd isnt real and does not need assistance - my kid has been real hyperactive/ impulsive/ emotional/ bouncing off walls adhd. In the past he’d have been considered ‘just a boy’ and we would have done a lot of sports. Not sure it’s so much worse tbh. And asd tbh I’ve started to wonder if I have asd based on some of the comments on this board (need downtime to decompress/ anxiety/ introversion) but if I am then indeed yes so is everyone. The truth is I think many of us have aspects of the spectrum but the number and type you need to qualify for a dx has expanded so much it is very hard to know where the line is now which dilutes the diagnosis quite a bit

Tldr i suspect we are moving towards a new way of diagnosing where different ‘traits’ will be linked together to help build a more specific picture rather than relying on 2 diagnoses to cover the range of human differences and then wondering why so many people are now on or the other or both

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have a tinfoil hat but I think most everyone can present with ADHD (lack of sleep, food colors, too much stimulus). I've often wondered if the whole world could benefit from ADHD meds that help you concentrate. Plenty of kids take Adderall to help them ace the SAT and high stakes tests.

I also think most people have varying levels of autism. I have trouble looking people in the eye while speaking and also difficulty in social situations.

<sigh> You demonstrate a fundamental lack of understanding ADHD and ASD. As a PP noted, kids with ADHD aren't taking medication to ace tests. And, I'll add, people can struggle with sensory processing and social situations and NOT be on the AS. They can also stim and not be on the AS.

ADHD medication, whether a stimulant or not, is to improve regulation of attention, not improve concentration. Huge difference.

You missed my point. I meant that everyone, even NT people can improve on Adderall. I understand why adhd people take it but really most people can benefit from it.