Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re pathetically deluded if you stay because she said “it was just a fling”. First of all, you shouldn’t believe that, but mainly it shouldn’t matter. Have some self respect ffs. If she cheats, for any reason, divorce her.

It was only a fling because he used her for sex. If he would have actually wanted to divorce and marry her : it would have been love. She got jilted.

This was my friend who wouldn’t shut up about her married AP and how great he was in every way and how much she loved him for years. After he pretty brutally dumped her and went no contact- she hated him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I definitely don’t think it’s a deal breaker, and doubt I would leave if my wife was still in love with me but just getting something else on the side. C’mon, people, women are able to have sex for sex’s sake and don’t have to be emotionally involved to cheat. Ask me how I know.

Dude if she cheats she is no longer in love with you. It’s over and you won’t get it back.

PP. This is an extrapolation from the stereotype to the whole. Everyone on DCUM seems comfortable with the idea that men cheat just for sex with no love. News flash: women cheat just for sex too.

Anonymous wrote:You’re pathetically deluded if you stay because she said “it was just a fling”. First of all, you shouldn’t believe that, but mainly it shouldn’t matter. Have some self respect ffs. If she cheats, for any reason, divorce her.

It was only a fling because he used her for sex. If he would have actually wanted to divorce and marry her : it would have been love. She got jilted.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men, would you want to be informed? Friend has been contemplating telling APs husband for months.

Unfortunately, shooting the messenger is a strong phenomenon, I’d be very careful. Let people work out their own relationships.

Tell your friend to inform the spouse anonymously and tell them to check their spouse’s phone for proof.

She won’t have anything on her phone. Cheaters these days use google voice to call and Skype (which they delete after each use). You can have three password and they can completely free with their phone…it’s a false sense of security. Part of the reason I thought mine was not cheating and led to much later discovery.

You’re pathetically deluded if you stay because she said “it was just a fling”. First of all, you shouldn’t believe that, but mainly it shouldn’t matter. Have some self respect ffs. If she cheats, for any reason, divorce her.

^It’s easier when they are much less attractive. I’m a woman not a man, but when you see they are unattractive, less (or not at all) successful, old or at least same age, body nowhere near as good…

It’s easier to handle. It’s not a self-esteem hit as much as a joke.

And, I’m sure some uggo will pipe up about how I should feel worse because they affair down, to that I say:

Much less of a market for married people searching for married people, for sex they’ll bang anything.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorced older men have an easy time on the dating market, so they're more likely to walk away.

I think it's that in addition to the fact that they see it as some kind of affront to their masculinity. If they can't keep their wife under control, what kind of man are they? This is ridiculous of course but a lot of men are really insecure about things like that.

I don't blame them for leaving but I would hope they wouldn't do it for that reason if they have kids.

It's because men are judged much more harshly in the bedroom:

-penis size
-ability to last or even get it up in the first place
-skills need to help a partner reach orgasm

For the most part, women don't have those pressures. So cheating makes a man wonder how he compares.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wouldn’t divorce her if it was just fling for sex. I’d be annoyed that I wasn’t allowed to have a side-piece that whole time. Not fair.

If it was full blown affair/relationship that involved the “love” word, I would strongly consider a divorce.

Would I want to otherwise know? Nope, not really. Ignorance is bliss, take that sh#t to the grave and don’t heap that drama upon me and the kids. If you’re going to play with fire, the #1 rule is to not get caught and #2 rule is don’t publicly humiliate your spouse. Don’t involve friends, people in your social circle, parents from kids’ school, etc. If you’re getting some strange, it better be from a legit stranger.

Wow, ok with your wife banging complete randos?? Hope you don’t stick it in there anymore. Gross

Did I say I was OK with that? No.

But I don’t see much of a difference from my health point of view of my spouse (1.) banging a rando or (2.) banging a dad from my kid’s school. In that situation, I’d rather have (1.) since (2.) could really wreck my kids’ experience at their school, be traumatizing to be a subject of gossip, etc.

This is just common friggin sense to be in the least-worse situation.

Anyways, we have a nice lifestyle with a lot of income as a married couple. Giving all that up to punish my wife for cheating in a non-emotional/physical-only affair is probably not worth it, so long as she commits herself to repairing things. Kids, property, household wealth all complicate the situation.

No.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wouldn’t divorce her if it was just fling for sex. I’d be annoyed that I wasn’t allowed to have a side-piece that whole time. Not fair.

If it was full blown affair/relationship that involved the “love” word, I would strongly consider a divorce.

Would I want to otherwise know? Nope, not really. Ignorance is bliss, take that sh#t to the grave and don’t heap that drama upon me and the kids. If you’re going to play with fire, the #1 rule is to not get caught and #2 rule is don’t publicly humiliate your spouse. Don’t involve friends, people in your social circle, parents from kids’ school, etc. If you’re getting some strange, it better be from a legit stranger.

Wow, ok with your wife banging complete randos?? Hope you don’t stick it in there anymore. Gross

I haven’t met a man that’s okay with that unless:
He’s gay
He doesn’t love her and cheats himself
He is really psychologically warped, a cuckold
He’s very beta and she’s completely domineering

Or she lied profusely and the 4-year affair when betrayed wife told him…she swears was just 1 night and that lady is crazy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men, would you want to be informed? Friend has been contemplating telling APs husband for months.

Unfortunately, shooting the messenger is a strong phenomenon, I’d be very careful. Let people work out their own relationships.

Tell your friend to inform the spouse anonymously and tell them to check their spouse’s phone for proof.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wouldn’t divorce her if it was just fling for sex. I’d be annoyed that I wasn’t allowed to have a side-piece that whole time. Not fair.

If it was full blown affair/relationship that involved the “love” word, I would strongly consider a divorce.

Would I want to otherwise know? Nope, not really. Ignorance is bliss, take that sh#t to the grave and don’t heap that drama upon me and the kids. If you’re going to play with fire, the #1 rule is to not get caught and #2 rule is don’t publicly humiliate your spouse. Don’t involve friends, people in your social circle, parents from kids’ school, etc. If you’re getting some strange, it better be from a legit stranger.

Wow, ok with your wife banging complete randos?? Hope you don’t stick it in there anymore. Gross

I haven’t met a man that’s okay with that unless:
He’s gay
He doesn’t love her and cheats himself
He is really psychologically warped, a cuckold
He’s very beta and she’s completely domineering

[quote=Anonymous]Lots of posts on here about what would you do if your husband cheated. But what about your wife? Men, would you leave if your wife cheated? Is that an instant deal breaker? [/quote]
Men that stay are p whipped. 🤦‍♂️

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I'd divorce her and tell the kids there's a divorce because mommy is a who-er.

You sound like a great dad. Nothing like damaging your kids so you can get revenge 🙄

BZZT! Wrong answer. The person who “damaged the kids” is the person who CHOSE to cheat and ruin the marriage and the kids’ home and family.

Woman NP

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men, would you want to be informed? Friend has been contemplating telling APs husband for months.

Unfortunately, shooting the messenger is a strong phenomenon, I’d be very careful. Let people work out their own relationships.

Do it. I did. He deserves to know