Anonymous wrote:Your kid can do this. I have the laziest dd ever. Even she knows not to ask or expect meals. She eats a protein bar, heats up frozen food from Trader Joe’s, or cuts up fruit, makes cereal…. It’s honestly up to you to say no, and stick with it.

Anonymous wrote:NTA I haven't made my kids lunch when they are at home probably since sixth grade. We have food, they can figure it out.

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I learned from my MIL to make lunch and dinner first thing in the morning. By 8 am, we usually have both meals cooked. My kids know that food is kept near the stove in pyrex containers and I will put it in fridge only after it cools down. They have the choice to eat what I have made or fix their own meal. We may occasionally cook at night also, but it is only if we want to eat something different or we ended up with more people and need to make something else.

I don't understand what it has to do with having college children at home though? Are you guys not eating when they are not home? If you are fixing your lunch (probably slapping a sandwich together) why can't you make for other members of your family? When my DH fixes his lunch or warming his lunch, he fixes the same for everyone at home. When he makes a cup of tea, he makes for everyone who wants a cup too. My kids make smoothies or snacks and they will ask and make for everyone. When I boil eggs, I boil enough for everyone. If they don't want to eat it, it goes in the fridge and can be repurposed for some other dish.

I don't think you ATA. You are being true to how you were socialized. There is no good or bad way. You do whatever you are comfortable doing. Your kids also will learn the same.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nacho takes 3 min. Why not make some for your kid? If you have time to post DCUM, you have 3 min.

No, she gets to spend that time doing the things she wants to do--be that work or DCUM--rather than catering to her kids like they are five years old.

Your poor kids. Lost mommy lottery. Lol

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I learned from my MIL to make lunch and dinner first thing in the morning. By 8 am, we usually have both meals cooked. My kids know that food is kept near the stove in pyrex containers and I will put it in fridge only after it cools down[b]. They have the choice to eat what I have made or fix their own meal. We may occasionally cook at night also, but it is only if we want to eat something different or we ended up with more people and need to make something else.

I don't understand what it has to do with having college children at home though? Are you guys not eating when they are not home? If you are fixing your lunch (probably slapping a sandwich together) why can't you make for other members of your family? When my DH fixes his lunch or warming his lunch, he fixes the same for everyone at home. When he makes a cup of tea, he makes for everyone who wants a cup too. My kids make smoothies or snacks and they will ask and make for everyone. When I boil eggs, I boil enough for everyone. If they don't want to eat it, it goes in the fridge and can be repurposed for some other dish.

I don't think you ATA. You are being true to how you were socialized. There is no good or bad way. You do whatever you are comfortable doing. Your kids also will learn the same.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If any adult (including my children) texted me in the work day to make them a snack, they wouldn't get a response.

I wonder those who are saying "make a snack" would do the same if it was her husband asking? Or if her kid asked the husband to do it.

Shows how many of us still see women as responsible for all of the "home" life.

I'd honestly be more likely to make my husband a snack in this situation. He does a ton of kind, caring things for me and I look for opportunities to reciprocate. I do often do little things for my teenage kids that they can do themselves, like get them a drink of water even when it would be just as easy for them to do it, but I am trying to transition out of that "mommy caters to me" mindset since they are at the age where they need to start seeing me as a human being instead of somebody who is just around to meet their needs. I develop my relationship with my kids by doing things with them, always being there to talk when they want to talk, showing interests in their interests, etc.

But my issue is the OP is working. I know a lot of people view working from home as a cake walk - but she shouldn't be responsible for making anyone food during work hours.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If any adult (including my children) texted me in the work day to make them a snack, they wouldn't get a response.

I wonder those who are saying "make a snack" would do the same if it was her husband asking? Or if her kid asked the husband to do it.

Shows how many of us still see women as responsible for all of the "home" life.

I'd honestly be more likely to make my husband a snack in this situation. He does a ton of kind, caring things for me and I look for opportunities to reciprocate. I do often do little things for my teenage kids that they can do themselves, like get them a drink of water even when it would be just as easy for them to do it, but I am trying to transition out of that "mommy caters to me" mindset since they are at the age where they need to start seeing me as a human being instead of somebody who is just around to meet their needs. I develop my relationship with my kids by doing things with them, always being there to talk when they want to talk, showing interests in their interests, etc.