DCUM Forum

Anonymous

05/23/2023 21:33 Subject: Who is the jerk in this situation?

How did Megan respond? Is she upset with you now?

I could see myself saying this only if my friend had been badgering me and guilting me a lot about things like this.

Anonymous

05/23/2023 21:27 Subject: Who is the jerk in this situation?

Anonymous wrote:> My household staff

YTA unless you can make that make sense.

"The people whom I've hired to work in my house"
"The people who work in my house"

What is the proper verbiage here?

Anonymous

05/23/2023 21:27 Subject: Who is the jerk in this situation?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Megan is at her friend Lilly's house. Lilly and the housekeeper were gathering up large bags of trash, emptying out the fridge. Megan made the comment, "Wow, the amount of food you toss out could feed by village back home for a week". Lilly said to her, "Well, you're more than welcome to pack this up and send it to them if that will make you feel superior".

Who was the jerk here?

Is this supposed to be “my”? As in Megan is from a village where food is scarce? If the scenario is that Megan is from a village in Uzbekistan where food is scarce, and made the comment in seriousness, then Lilly is the jerk.

Meghan is free to donate her salary to the village in question.

How do you know she doesn't?

Jerks typically don’t.

Anonymous

05/23/2023 21:25 Subject: Re:Who is the jerk in this situation?

Both sound like passive-aggressive jerks to me (excluding the housekeeper but of course! 😂.)

But Lilly sounds like a bigger jerk by an inch.

Anonymous

05/23/2023 20:08 Subject: Who is the jerk in this situation?

> My household staff

YTA unless you can make that make sense.

Anonymous

05/23/2023 16:12 Subject: Who is the jerk in this situation?

Thanks for the clarification, OP. I don’t think Megan’s comment was in great taste, but you clearly took it way too personally and made it be a judgment call about you vs an observation. The correct response would have been something like this,

“I know, right?? It’s so hard to get the catering numbers right when people cancel at the last minute. Next time I’m definitely telling the caterers a smaller number than have actually rsvp’d. Do you want to take any of this home? I’ve literally done everything I can think of to keep it from going to waste, but I’m out of time and ideas.”

Anonymous

05/23/2023 16:02 Subject: Who is the jerk in this situation?

Why not give the leftover of the the 3 day old leftovers to Megan?

And how much did you order if you had THAT much you offliaded to your "staff" , went to firehouse, froze some, and presumably ate some for lunch/,dinner the following few days, AND still had trash bags full to throw away??

Anonymous

05/23/2023 15:56 Subject: Who is the jerk in this situation?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one.

But Lilly needs to reduce her food waste!

I read your update about this being a party. You should have mentioned this in your OP, because a one-off event with too much food is vastly different than daily waste.

All you needed to do is explain to your friend that this was extra party food and you had already given away as much as you could. Your friend's comment is not rude. My friends could say that and I would not be offended - I would explain.

Nope, a guest in a home does not deserve an explanation of anything, ever. If they see something they don’t like or agree with, they are free to leave and never return. OP “needs” to “explain” exactly nothing to no guest, ever.

Amusing troll.

Anonymous

05/23/2023 15:55 Subject: Who is the jerk in this situation?

Clearly, its the Villagers for having the audacity of being so poor that the food and one woman’s fridge would be enough to feed all of them.

(Seriously, Megan should’ve just kept her mouth shut.)

Anonymous

05/23/2023 15:43 Subject: Who is the jerk in this situation?

Lilly bc as the more moneyed person she should know better than to shame someone less well off.

Anonymous

05/23/2023 15:17 Subject: Who is the jerk in this situation?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one.

But Lilly needs to reduce her food waste!

I read your update about this being a party. You should have mentioned this in your OP, because a one-off event with too much food is vastly different than daily waste.

All you needed to do is explain to your friend that this was extra party food and you had already given away as much as you could. Your friend's comment is not rude. My friends could say that and I would not be offended - I would explain.

Nope, a guest in a home does not deserve an explanation of anything, ever. If they see something they don’t like or agree with, they are free to leave and never return. OP “needs” to “explain” exactly nothing to no guest, ever.

This is far too broad a statement to be true.

Anonymous

05/23/2023 15:14 Subject: Who is the jerk in this situation?

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I'm Lilly in this case and I had an event at my house a few nights ago. After giving away most of the uneaten catering to the servers, staff, and taking few trays to the local fire station, the rest was in my fridge and freezer. My household staff took home what they wanted the day after the event. At this point, 3 days later, we were trying to corral the rest of the (Liquidy, sauce heavy) trays of food into the trash to toss.

That's when Megan dropped by. I told her I just needed to finish one thing. It was about 5 mins more of gathering up trash which is when she made the comment.

I don't disagree that it's wasteful to throw away food but short of inviting strangers off the street to come in and eat it, I was out of things to do with this food that was quickly going bad.

My local shelter won't take food that's already prepared which is why I took some of it to the fire station for the workers there who appreciated it.

Yes, I can understand that she grew up in a poor village but I guess my snippyness was more of an exasperated "What do you want me to do?".

I mean, you could have said to her what you said here just now. Or asked her *in seriousness* if she knows someone who would like the food. Your response just made you sound like an entitled, spoiled Marie Antoinette type.

Anonymous

05/23/2023 15:12 Subject: Who is the jerk in this situation?

Anonymous wrote:It’s not Megan’s food, why does she care?

Because food waste is a serious problem?

Anonymous

05/23/2023 15:11 Subject: Who is the jerk in this situation?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Megan is at her friend Lilly's house. Lilly and the housekeeper were gathering up large bags of trash, emptying out the fridge. Megan made the comment, "Wow, the amount of food you toss out could feed by village back home for a week". Lilly said to her, "Well, you're more than welcome to pack this up and send it to them if that will make you feel superior".

Who was the jerk here?

Is this supposed to be “my”? As in Megan is from a village where food is scarce? If the scenario is that Megan is from a village in Uzbekistan where food is scarce, and made the comment in seriousness, then Lilly is the jerk.

Meghan is free to donate her salary to the village in question.

How do you know she doesn't?

Anonymous

05/23/2023 14:49 Subject: Who is the jerk in this situation?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one.

But Lilly needs to reduce her food waste!

I read your update about this being a party. You should have mentioned this in your OP, because a one-off event with too much food is vastly different than daily waste.

All you needed to do is explain to your friend that this was extra party food and you had already given away as much as you could. Your friend's comment is not rude. My friends could say that and I would not be offended - I would explain.

Nope, a guest in a home does not deserve an explanation of anything, ever. If they see something they don’t like or agree with, they are free to leave and never return. OP “needs” to “explain” exactly nothing to no guest, ever.