Anonymous
05/10/2023 10:45
Subject: Lunch detention for saying "the r word"?
Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I wasn’t the person who wrote about snowflakes, but I think it’s wrong to single out one child without warning for using a word they all use. I was especially upset, because rather than eating, my kid was asked to watch a video about people with intellectual disabilities and write a reflection. And yes, this is Bethesda.
This concerns my so much OP. Your child used a derogatory term and yes they should have to learn about WHY IT IS DEROGATORY and why it is wrong. The fact that THIS is your takeaway is so concerning. Your takeway of "my poor kid" for 30 minutes of minimal consequence will not help you raise a confident, empathic human that takes responsibility for their actions. And that is your job as a parent. Not to protect them and be worried that they didn't eat lunch one day. I highly HIGHLY doubt your child wasn't allowed to eat their lunch WHILE watching the video on how they used an offensive term that hurts others. That should be your focus.
Anonymous
05/10/2023 10:41
Subject: Re:Lunch detention for saying "the r word"?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I can think of a lot worse but yes - chalk this up to a learning experience for your child.
+1
I am from a different era where the R word was used all the time so personally, I would not give detention for that, just talking to but it is a lesson learned. There are so many worse things that kids are doing so it seems silly for detention for this.
Silly? You are a total a**hole. No wonder your kid turned out so poorly.
Do you think I am OP? To be clear, I am not. I also didn’t say I used the r word. The reason I said it’s silly is because unless they are giving detention to every student they hear saying the N-word, Duck, Pitch, then in my opinion, it’s silly to give attention for the R word. Now, is it a big deal? No, and a video and a summary seems fine, but otoh it also seems like they’re singling this one person out.
"Officer, why did you pull me over for speeding? Everyone else is speeding too, why aren't you pulling them over?"
But Police do pull people over for speeding. So the question is, is the School giving anybody else detention for use of the end or our word?
You really don't know how the system works. In the history of time, we have never caught and punished ALL of the offenders. But it [hopefully] serves as a deterrent to many to catch and punish some or most.
I never said that’s how it worked. When I’m asking is are ANY other kids at that school or even in the county getting lunch detention for saying a derogatory word? I have not heard of or right about any.
Anonymous
05/10/2023 10:40
Subject: Re:Lunch detention for saying "the r word"?
Anonymous wrote:Wow. I would be grateful to a teacher for teaching my kid that that type of behavior isn't accepted. There may be more colorful language going about but that doesn't make it ok. Let your kid experience a consequence for using a word that is considered a slur and is hurtful to others. Have a conversation with him about WHY this word is hurtful to some even if that isn't what he INTENDED. It's an opportunity as a parent to teach that your intentions aren't the only thing that matters. He may not have intended it that way, and his friend may not have been super hurt, but to others it can be a very hurtful word because of what it represents. This is a good lesson to learn as a middle schooler. Your intentions are only a piece of the puzzle.
Would like to clarify the wow isn't for what your kid did, this is typical middle school behavior but it does not need to be corrected. The wow was your reaction to minimize the behavior instead of teaching your kid to be accountable for things and experience consequences.
Anonymous
05/10/2023 10:38
Subject: Re:Lunch detention for saying "the r word"?
Wow. I would be grateful to a teacher for teaching my kid that that type of behavior isn't accepted. There may be more colorful language going about but that doesn't make it ok. Let your kid experience a consequence for using a word that is considered a slur and is hurtful to others. Have a conversation with him about WHY this word is hurtful to some even if that isn't what he INTENDED. It's an opportunity as a parent to teach that your intentions aren't the only thing that matters. He may not have intended it that way, and his friend may not have been super hurt, but to others it can be a very hurtful word because of what it represents. This is a good lesson to learn as a middle schooler. Your intentions are only a piece of the puzzle.
Anonymous
05/10/2023 10:36
Subject: Lunch detention for saying "the r word"?
Anonymous wrote:Are teachers allowed to give lunch detentions in MS? My child was assigned lunch detention for calling a friend what the teacher referred to as "the r word" in the hallway. The friend wasn't upset by it and the teacher isn't even his. From what I hear on here, there are a lot worse things being said in the hallway all the time.
OP what teacher it was, and the friend's reaction, aren't relevant. Schools have to start somewhere and this year, they are trying to re-establish some pre-pandemic guardrails. I know kids who were assigned multi-day detentions.
As a SN parent I find the casual use of the r word to be insidious. I understand that kids hear mixed messages (in SEL lessons the teachers tell them it's a micro aggression but in the hallways and cafeteria, nobody is usually on hand to catch or correct and the word is everywhere). I would save my righteous indignation with the school for another time and just focus on helping your kid grow up with awareness and empathy.
Anonymous
05/10/2023 10:35
Subject: Re:Lunch detention for saying "the r word"?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I can think of a lot worse but yes - chalk this up to a learning experience for your child.
+1
I am from a different era where the R word was used all the time so personally, I would not give detention for that, just talking to but it is a lesson learned. There are so many worse things that kids are doing so it seems silly for detention for this.
Silly? You are a total a**hole. No wonder your kid turned out so poorly.
Do you think I am OP? To be clear, I am not. I also didn’t say I used the r word. The reason I said it’s silly is because unless they are giving detention to every student they hear saying the N-word, Duck, Pitch, then in my opinion, it’s silly to give attention for the R word. Now, is it a big deal? No, and a video and a summary seems fine, but otoh it also seems like they’re singling this one person out.
#lifelessons
Life's not fair.
Life lesson: BOE members can use r word and giggle about it. Your kid! No
Well there you go!
Seems like you got it, now make sure your kid gets it.
Learning MCPS is corrupt should be taught in K.
Anonymous
05/10/2023 10:32
Subject: Re:Lunch detention for saying "the r word"?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I can think of a lot worse but yes - chalk this up to a learning experience for your child.
+1
I am from a different era where the R word was used all the time so personally, I would not give detention for that, just talking to but it is a lesson learned. There are so many worse things that kids are doing so it seems silly for detention for this.
Silly? You are a total a**hole. No wonder your kid turned out so poorly.
Do you think I am OP? To be clear, I am not. I also didn’t say I used the r word. The reason I said it’s silly is because unless they are giving detention to every student they hear saying the N-word, Duck, Pitch, then in my opinion, it’s silly to give attention for the R word. Now, is it a big deal? No, and a video and a summary seems fine, but otoh it also seems like they’re singling this one person out.
#lifelessons
Life's not fair.
Life lesson: BOE members can use r word and giggle about it. Your kid! No
Well there you go!
Seems like you got it, now make sure your kid gets it.
Anonymous
05/10/2023 10:24
Subject: Re:Lunch detention for saying "the r word"?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I can think of a lot worse but yes - chalk this up to a learning experience for your child.
+1
I am from a different era where the R word was used all the time so personally, I would not give detention for that, just talking to but it is a lesson learned. There are so many worse things that kids are doing so it seems silly for detention for this.
Silly? You are a total a**hole. No wonder your kid turned out so poorly.
Do you think I am OP? To be clear, I am not. I also didn’t say I used the r word. The reason I said it’s silly is because unless they are giving detention to every student they hear saying the N-word, Duck, Pitch, then in my opinion, it’s silly to give attention for the R word. Now, is it a big deal? No, and a video and a summary seems fine, but otoh it also seems like they’re singling this one person out.
"Officer, why did you pull me over for speeding? Everyone else is speeding too, why aren't you pulling them over?"
But Police do pull people over for speeding. So the question is, is the School giving anybody else detention for use of the end or our word?
You really don't know how the system works. In the history of time, we have never caught and punished ALL of the offenders. But it [hopefully] serves as a deterrent to many to catch and punish some or most.
Anonymous
05/10/2023 10:16
Subject: Re:Lunch detention for saying "the r word"?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I can think of a lot worse but yes - chalk this up to a learning experience for your child.
+1
I am from a different era where the R word was used all the time so personally, I would not give detention for that, just talking to but it is a lesson learned. There are so many worse things that kids are doing so it seems silly for detention for this.
Silly? You are a total a**hole. No wonder your kid turned out so poorly.
Do you think I am OP? To be clear, I am not. I also didn’t say I used the r word. The reason I said it’s silly is because unless they are giving detention to every student they hear saying the N-word, Duck, Pitch, then in my opinion, it’s silly to give attention for the R word. Now, is it a big deal? No, and a video and a summary seems fine, but otoh it also seems like they’re singling this one person out.
"Officer, why did you pull me over for speeding? Everyone else is speeding too, why aren't you pulling them over?"
But Police do pull people over for speeding. So the question is, is the School giving anybody else detention for use of the end or our word?
Anonymous
05/10/2023 09:48
Subject: Lunch detention for saying "the r word"?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Are teachers allowed to give lunch detentions in MS? My child was assigned lunch detention for calling a friend what the teacher referred to as "the r word" in the hallway. The friend wasn't upset by it and the teacher isn't even his. From what I hear on here, there are a lot worse things being said in the hallway all the time.
Sounds like your child learned an important lesson about using inappropriate language. And yes, the "R" word is one of the worst words you can use to describe another person.
Kids used to have thicker skin. We used that word all the time and turned out just fine. Everyone is so damn overly sensitive these days.
What's that expression?
If you want your child to succeed, "prepare them for the path, don't clear the path for them." You can dislike common conventions of decency, but you do your child no favors by pointing fingers at everyone but them. Teach them how to behave honorably.
Anonymous
05/10/2023 09:42
Subject: Lunch detention for saying "the r word"?
Anonymous wrote:Are teachers allowed to give lunch detentions in MS? My child was assigned lunch detention for calling a friend what the teacher referred to as "the r word" in the hallway. The friend wasn't upset by it and the teacher isn't even his. From what I hear on here, there are a lot worse things being said in the hallway all the time.
Teach your kid not to be ignorant. The teacher was right.
Anonymous
05/10/2023 09:39
Subject: Re:Lunch detention for saying "the r word"?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I can think of a lot worse but yes - chalk this up to a learning experience for your child.
+1
I am from a different era where the R word was used all the time so personally, I would not give detention for that, just talking to but it is a lesson learned. There are so many worse things that kids are doing so it seems silly for detention for this.
Silly? You are a total a**hole. No wonder your kid turned out so poorly.
Do you think I am OP? To be clear, I am not. I also didn’t say I used the r word. The reason I said it’s silly is because unless they are giving detention to every student they hear saying the N-word, Duck, Pitch, then in my opinion, it’s silly to give attention for the R word. Now, is it a big deal? No, and a video and a summary seems fine, but otoh it also seems like they’re singling this one person out.
#lifelessons
Life's not fair.
Life lesson: BOE members can use r word and giggle about it. Your kid! No
Anonymous
05/10/2023 09:32
Subject: Re:Lunch detention for saying "the r word"?
Which middle school is this? You should be glad they learned this lesson young. Would you prefer they learned when someone files an HR complaint and they're at risk of losing their job? The school is doing you and your kid a favor.
Anonymous
05/10/2023 09:24
Subject: Re:Lunch detention for saying "the r word"?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I can think of a lot worse but yes - chalk this up to a learning experience for your child.
+1
I am from a different era where the R word was used all the time so personally, I would not give detention for that, just talking to but it is a lesson learned. There are so many worse things that kids are doing so it seems silly for detention for this.
Silly? You are a total a**hole. No wonder your kid turned out so poorly.
Do you think I am OP? To be clear, I am not. I also didn’t say I used the r word. The reason I said it’s silly is because unless they are giving detention to every student they hear saying the N-word, Duck, Pitch, then in my opinion, it’s silly to give attention for the R word. Now, is it a big deal? No, and a video and a summary seems fine, but otoh it also seems like they’re singling this one person out.
"Officer, why did you pull me over for speeding? Everyone else is speeding too, why aren't you pulling them over?"
Anonymous
05/10/2023 09:23
Subject: Re:Lunch detention for saying "the r word"?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I can think of a lot worse but yes - chalk this up to a learning experience for your child.
+1
I am from a different era where the R word was used all the time so personally, I would not give detention for that, just talking to but it is a lesson learned. There are so many worse things that kids are doing so it seems silly for detention for this.
Silly? You are a total a**hole. No wonder your kid turned out so poorly.
Do you think I am OP? To be clear, I am not. I also didn’t say I used the r word. The reason I said it’s silly is because unless they are giving detention to every student they hear saying the N-word, Duck, Pitch, then in my opinion, it’s silly to give attention for the R word. Now, is it a big deal? No, and a video and a summary seems fine, but otoh it also seems like they’re singling this one person out.
#lifelessons
Life's not fair.