Anonymous
Post 05/08/2023 16:33     Subject: Do you ask about guns when you schedule play dates?
We are gun owners and I used to ask when the kids were young (preschool- 1st grade). I do not ask anymore (they are late elementary) but I would if there were red flags suggesting it might be something to worry about. We have had discussions about what to do in the event of finding one.

My father had a handgun under his mattress when I was growing up and yes, myself and my siblings all found it at some point. I don’t know if it was loaded.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2023 16:19     Subject: Do you ask about guns when you schedule play dates?
Yes, absolutely. It's part of the BeSMART initiative and easy to get into conversation. For example, my kid is allergic to pets so I say, "hey mom, Thank you for inviting, Larlo. We would be happy to join but wanted to inquire as to any pets in the house or unsecured firearms. He has no food allergies so all good there!"

Easy.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2023 16:15     Subject: Re:Do you ask about guns when you schedule play dates?
I am honestly more worried about people's dogs
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2023 15:19     Subject: Do you ask about guns when you schedule play dates?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't object to asking people, but if your kid is old enough for a drop off playdate, they are old enough to understand that you never touch a gun. Are your kids just out there in the world potentially picking up firearms or letting a friend suggest they play with one for fun? You are in better control of your kid's preparation than some random family's gun storage practices.


Uhh well yeah, but my kid isn’t going to be the only one in the house for the playdate…


Fair enough--but do you think that the other kid is going to suggest playing with the gun? Or just go get the gun and shoot your kid for fun? Or that the parent is going to shoot them? Or is this a party and you think that the parents will have loaded guns lying around in the dining room near the birthday cake that the kids will pick up and use?

Gun deaths among rich liberals at home just aren't that common (I am a rich liberal, too).

Trying to figure out what scenario you are picturing.


NP - kids absolutely can be curious about playing with guns. And accidents happen. That’s my concern.

I do ask, but have not been asked. When inviting kids over for play dates, I proactively mention we don’t have any guns or weapons, we do have a dog, etc. Even in the super liberal part of MoCo in which we live, one parent has disclosed they own two guns after I asked before a sleepover. They told me and DH how they were stored and we said, fine. My late FIL was a LEO, so DH grew up with guns in the house and knows it’s a thing. But plenty of gun owners have notions of safe gun storage that not safe, e.g., the owner of a VRBO we stayed at who left a shotgun and box of ammo lying on the floor of closet. “It was locked!” They protested. No, it’s not locked when it can be opened with a sharp turn of the wrist.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2023 15:05     Subject: Do you ask about guns when you schedule play dates?
Anonymous wrote:And another thing, LOL - but if you're socially in tune with your neighborhood - you also hear things. I don't have any concerns about anyone in my neighborhood right now but I did once hear a weird story about a gun and someone who moved away. I would have exercised caution if my kid was friends with those kids.


But again - no real point to ask - I wouldn't have cared what their answer was to a gun question - I already knew enough.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2023 15:04     Subject: Do you ask about guns when you schedule play dates?
And another thing, LOL - but if you're socially in tune with your neighborhood - you also hear things. I don't have any concerns about anyone in my neighborhood right now but I did once hear a weird story about a gun and someone who moved away. I would have exercised caution if my kid was friends with those kids.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2023 14:55     Subject: Do you ask about guns when you schedule play dates?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Another person who never asks and has never been asked.

At some level, it sort of seems like a vanity exercise/virtue signaling. At least in most of DCUM territory, the answer is always go to be either (1) no we don’t have guns, in which case you can band together and tsk tsk gun owners, or (2) yes we have guns but we’re the responsible type of gun owners and we’re in favor of an assault weapons ban and red flag laws and we never give a dime to the NRA and each gun is locked up, unloaded in its own basement vault and every round of ammunition is separately locked up, individually, in its own biometric safe 300 miles away at our beach house. No one is going to be like “yeah we’ve got a half dozen loaded weapons just strewn about the house.”

So while I think it’s a little silly, I also wouldn’t be offended if someone did ask. (DH has a bunch of guns, all in safes but mostly stored loaded. If you keep a gun for personal protection I’m not sure why you would store it unloaded.)


I totally agree that it's virtue signaling - and I don't think I've ever been asked. I've been convinced at times that I needed to ask - and occasionally as I said before, I have occasionally volunteered before that we don't have guns. I am against guns but I just don't even care anymore - there are way bigger risks that we are not asking about IMO so I don't feel a need to single this one out. I try to teach my kids as a general matter how to be safe, such as teaching them to swim and always wear a seatbelt.



Nope, you just don't want to risk not being invited to the mom's brunch or the PTA social. Glad that's more important to you than the #1 leading cause of death for kids in the US


Actually I didn't know that, so I do thank you for bringing that to my attention. I do appreciate facts. And, I'm planning the mom's brunch and the PTA social by the way, so no concerns there. And, I still don't like virtue signaling.

And even if it's #1 - it still doesn't tease out suicide, homicide, unintentional gun deaths. Asking about guns in the house would probably only prevent unintentional - and that's probably still lower than drowning and car accidents statically.


But also - go ahead and ask - I don't care. I don't have guns. Just saying no one has asked me and I don't think it's worth it to ask other anymore. And that I think other people are virtue signaling who do, but it doesn't really matter what I think.


What i do ALWAYS ask is whether the kid coming to my house has any food allergies.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2023 14:47     Subject: Do you ask about guns when you schedule play dates?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Another person who never asks and has never been asked.

At some level, it sort of seems like a vanity exercise/virtue signaling. At least in most of DCUM territory, the answer is always go to be either (1) no we don’t have guns, in which case you can band together and tsk tsk gun owners, or (2) yes we have guns but we’re the responsible type of gun owners and we’re in favor of an assault weapons ban and red flag laws and we never give a dime to the NRA and each gun is locked up, unloaded in its own basement vault and every round of ammunition is separately locked up, individually, in its own biometric safe 300 miles away at our beach house. No one is going to be like “yeah we’ve got a half dozen loaded weapons just strewn about the house.”

So while I think it’s a little silly, I also wouldn’t be offended if someone did ask. (DH has a bunch of guns, all in safes but mostly stored loaded. If you keep a gun for personal protection I’m not sure why you would store it unloaded.)


I totally agree that it's virtue signaling - and I don't think I've ever been asked. I've been convinced at times that I needed to ask - and occasionally as I said before, I have occasionally volunteered before that we don't have guns. I am against guns but I just don't even care anymore - there are way bigger risks that we are not asking about IMO so I don't feel a need to single this one out. I try to teach my kids as a general matter how to be safe, such as teaching them to swim and always wear a seatbelt.



Nope, you just don't want to risk not being invited to the mom's brunch or the PTA social. Glad that's more important to you than the #1 leading cause of death for kids in the US


Actually I didn't know that, so I do thank you for bringing that to my attention. I do appreciate facts. And, I'm planning the mom's brunch and the PTA social by the way, so no concerns there. And, I still don't like virtue signaling.

And even if it's #1 - it still doesn't tease out suicide, homicide, unintentional gun deaths. Asking about guns in the house would probably only prevent unintentional - and that's probably still lower than drowning and car accidents statically.


But also - go ahead and ask - I don't care. I don't have guns. Just saying no one has asked me and I don't think it's worth it to ask other anymore. And that I think other people are virtue signaling who do, but it doesn't really matter what I think.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2023 14:47     Subject: Do you ask about guns when you schedule play dates?
Your child is def more likely to get into a car accident with someone else driving and/or choke. I get the gun thing, but in this demographic, it is low percentage. Asking def feels performative.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2023 14:43     Subject: Do you ask about guns when you schedule play dates?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Another person who never asks and has never been asked.

At some level, it sort of seems like a vanity exercise/virtue signaling. At least in most of DCUM territory, the answer is always go to be either (1) no we don’t have guns, in which case you can band together and tsk tsk gun owners, or (2) yes we have guns but we’re the responsible type of gun owners and we’re in favor of an assault weapons ban and red flag laws and we never give a dime to the NRA and each gun is locked up, unloaded in its own basement vault and every round of ammunition is separately locked up, individually, in its own biometric safe 300 miles away at our beach house. No one is going to be like “yeah we’ve got a half dozen loaded weapons just strewn about the house.”

So while I think it’s a little silly, I also wouldn’t be offended if someone did ask. (DH has a bunch of guns, all in safes but mostly stored loaded. If you keep a gun for personal protection I’m not sure why you would store it unloaded.)


I totally agree that it's virtue signaling - and I don't think I've ever been asked. I've been convinced at times that I needed to ask - and occasionally as I said before, I have occasionally volunteered before that we don't have guns. I am against guns but I just don't even care anymore - there are way bigger risks that we are not asking about IMO so I don't feel a need to single this one out. I try to teach my kids as a general matter how to be safe, such as teaching them to swim and always wear a seatbelt.



Nope, you just don't want to risk not being invited to the mom's brunch or the PTA social. Glad that's more important to you than the #1 leading cause of death for kids in the US


Actually I didn't know that, so I do thank you for bringing that to my attention. I do appreciate facts. And, I'm planning the mom's brunch and the PTA social by the way, so no concerns there. And, I still don't like virtue signaling.

And even if it's #1 - it still doesn't tease out suicide, homicide, unintentional gun deaths. Asking about guns in the house would probably only prevent unintentional - and that's probably still lower than drowning and car accidents statically.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2023 14:40     Subject: Do you ask about guns when you schedule play dates?
3 kids, have never asked and have never been asked. We don’t own guns, are European and live in DC. It’s just not something I ever think about when my kids go for play dates or sleepover. I would not be offended if someone asked, but I would think it weird with so many other things that could happen…
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2023 14:26     Subject: Do you ask about guns when you schedule play dates?
At some point asking if people leave loaded guns around their house starts to sound like "do you have several alcoholic drinks before driving carpool?" Of course you don't want drunk people driving your kids around, but are you directly questioning people about it?
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2023 14:23     Subject: Do you ask about guns when you schedule play dates?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't object to asking people, but if your kid is old enough for a drop off playdate, they are old enough to understand that you never touch a gun. Are your kids just out there in the world potentially picking up firearms or letting a friend suggest they play with one for fun? You are in better control of your kid's preparation than some random family's gun storage practices.


Uhh well yeah, but my kid isn’t going to be the only one in the house for the playdate…


Fair enough--but do you think that the other kid is going to suggest playing with the gun? Or just go get the gun and shoot your kid for fun? Or that the parent is going to shoot them? Or is this a party and you think that the parents will have loaded guns lying around in the dining room near the birthday cake that the kids will pick up and use?

Gun deaths among rich liberals at home just aren't that common (I am a rich liberal, too).

Trying to figure out what scenario you are picturing.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2023 14:17     Subject: Do you ask about guns when you schedule play dates?
I don’t allow the children to be with irresponsible parents. For instance, if their dogs are allowed to jump on visitors, there’s a clueless parent.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2023 13:57     Subject: Do you ask about guns when you schedule play dates?
Anonymous wrote:I don't object to asking people, but if your kid is old enough for a drop off playdate, they are old enough to understand that you never touch a gun. Are your kids just out there in the world potentially picking up firearms or letting a friend suggest they play with one for fun? You are in better control of your kid's preparation than some random family's gun storage practices.


Uhh well yeah, but my kid isn’t going to be the only one in the house for the playdate…