Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good for your husband. You’re a fool OP. Your son is not another daughter. Be a Parian’s learn to say no.

100%. earrings one day, dresses and hormones the next.

+1,000 it’s a phase and he will grow out of it. Why on earth would you allow male ear piercing at 8? How f’ng stupid.

+1

The "no" wins

Regardless of whether anyone thinks it’s ok or not, the fact that OP’s husband is opposed for this non life threatening decision means that it’s a no go for now. If it were a decision like getting a flu vaccination or wearing a ski helmet, that would be a different situation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m with your DH. Sorry.

But why?

Because I think it looks weird and trashy on boys.

Ask all these uber progressive non-gender-conforming moms who insist that whatever style kids want is totally fine with them, their choice, how they would feel about their 8 yo boy getting a mohawk-style haircut, a rat tail with a camo tank top?

Suddenly they're not so permissive and cavalier.

This is a situation where my values (who cares about gender norms . . . let people express themselves) and my biases (he'll draw negative attention) would clash. But I would fight really hard to live my values. I wouldn't have a problem with an 8 year old girl getting her ears pierced so I would let a son do so as well.

Thankfully my spouse generally follows my lead when it comes to stuff like this. If I can make a persuasive argument he'll listen. If you're at a standstill, I'd at least advocate for magnetic earrings and setting an age at which you'll take him to get his ears pierced if he still wants them later.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think in these situations the no vote wins.

Agree. DH is a parent too. If one parent objects to an unalterable cosmetic change, like putting a hole ears, then that parent wins.

This. Even if the hole closes or no earrings are worn, there is still the visible mark, forever. Wait, OP. Marriage involves compromise and parenting is best united.

Anonymous wrote:Don’t think this is a big deal. My older brother pierced his ear as a teen and then never wore any earrings again. It left a small hole but they can close up.

A piercing really isn't a big deal.

Anonymous wrote:I think in these situations the no vote wins.

Agree. DH is a parent too. If one parent objects to an unalterable cosmetic change, like putting a hole ears, then that parent wins.

Why are people opposed to genders being different on cosmetics?

I think in these situations the no vote wins.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Male ear-piercings are hideous.

Why?

DP. It is low class and trashy. Especially at age 8.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would find a middle ground and get the magnetic studs. I don’t think you should get anything pierced or tattooed without both parents approval but I think the child should be able to have some say in their appearance. The magnetic studs would be a happy medium.

Be very careful with magnetic studs around small children. Swallowed magnets can perforate internal organs

https://www.england.nhs.uk/2021/05/dangers-of-children-swallowing-magnets-prompts-nhs-call-for-ban/

The kid is 8, not 2!

Another dad here who would not allow my son to have his ears pierced. Do it as an adult. You live under my roof, so body mutilation. Cultural norms exist for a reason.

Anonymous wrote:Male ear-piercings are hideous.

This and it is not age-appropriate. Child is too young and is setting himself up to be hazed/teased at school.

We wouldn’t allow any of our children to get piercing ears until 12. DS has never asked for them, but if he had, we would’ve said no. Now at 16, we would likely concede.
One thing we agree on, is that anything dealing with the kids must be a shared agreement. It will erode your marriage, and even your relationship with your kids, if you don’t put up a united front.