Make them start cooking.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My nanny feeds the kids (9, 7, 4) Monday through Friday. I could never cook 7 meals per week. They would eat cereal most nights if it was up to me to cook. I hate cooking.

We will keep our nanny as long as possible because of dinner. We pay her 5.5 hours a day to work 3 and it’s so worth it

So you never eat dinner together as a family during the week?

Yes. I don’t really care about it and don’t understand why it’s such a big deal for people.

On top of that, DH gets home at 7:30 pm most/every nights and kids eat at 6-6:30 and in bed by 8. DH and I will eat at 8:30-9

+1 also don’t care about it and don’t know why people are aghast that we don’t either. DH has always worked late.

Honest truth, because it’s a clear demonstration of your priorities. You have older kids and are choosing not to spend with them - the entire week, every week. And how much time can your DH spend with his family if he’s not ever home? That’s why people are aghast. That they’ve never said any of this to you directly means they’re just polite.

Please enlighten me… what are my priorities?

Who knows, but it’s not family time with your kids.

Says who? You? I spend plenty of time with my kids afternoons, evenings, weekends, vacations, etc. I take two months off every summer and I am with them 24/7. How about you? You are just a judgmental angry person.

Around your nanny’s schedule and their activities, right? Get defensive if you want. I’m just telling you what all of those aghast people are thinking. We all know families like yours. Your definition of “plenty of time” around your nanny (and husband’s) schedules is just not what the rest of us aghast folk would consider plenty. But it’s your family, you do you.

This is ridiculous. Dinner is not the only time where you can spend time with your kids. No wonders Americans are so fat. Think about your kids and stop judging other families… mine is wonderful and happy… full of love and memories. We are lucky to be able to afford all we can and still spend a lot of time with our kids (not at the diner table). Think about YOUR family. Mine is great

Meal time is a huge family thing in a lot of countries. It’s not a US thing. It’s actually much more important in other cultures.

I know and understand that, but why judging parents/family that prioritize other ways to spending time with their families? I don’t find it enjoyable and prefer to spend time with my kids doing other things… what’s the big deal?

And honestly, from this thread, very few people enjoy it and can’t wait for it to be over…. How sad that time with kids has to be forced to fit into some kind of mold. Who says dinner together is important? Enjoy your kids and don’t eat together if you don’t enjoy it! Pay for someone to cook and feed them if you can afford it (like we do)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My nanny feeds the kids (9, 7, 4) Monday through Friday. I could never cook 7 meals per week. They would eat cereal most nights if it was up to me to cook. I hate cooking.

We will keep our nanny as long as possible because of dinner. We pay her 5.5 hours a day to work 3 and it’s so worth it

So you never eat dinner together as a family during the week?

Yes. I don’t really care about it and don’t understand why it’s such a big deal for people.

On top of that, DH gets home at 7:30 pm most/every nights and kids eat at 6-6:30 and in bed by 8. DH and I will eat at 8:30-9

+1 also don’t care about it and don’t know why people are aghast that we don’t either. DH has always worked late.

Honest truth, because it’s a clear demonstration of your priorities. You have older kids and are choosing not to spend with them - the entire week, every week. And how much time can your DH spend with his family if he’s not ever home? That’s why people are aghast. That they’ve never said any of this to you directly means they’re just polite.

Please enlighten me… what are my priorities?

Who knows, but it’s not family time with your kids.

Says who? You? I spend plenty of time with my kids afternoons, evenings, weekends, vacations, etc. I take two months off every summer and I am with them 24/7. How about you? You are just a judgmental angry person.

Around your nanny’s schedule and their activities, right? Get defensive if you want. I’m just telling you what all of those aghast people are thinking. We all know families like yours. Your definition of “plenty of time” around your nanny (and husband’s) schedules is just not what the rest of us aghast folk would consider plenty. But it’s your family, you do you.

This is ridiculous. Dinner is not the only time where you can spend time with your kids. No wonders Americans are so fat. Think about your kids and stop judging other families… mine is wonderful and happy… full of love and memories. We are lucky to be able to afford all we can and still spend a lot of time with our kids (not at the diner table). Think about YOUR family. Mine is great

Meal time is a huge family thing in a lot of countries. It’s not a US thing. It’s actually much more important in other cultures.

I know and understand that, but why judging parents/family that prioritize other ways to spending time with their families? I don’t find it enjoyable and prefer to spend time with my kids doing other things… what’s the big deal?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My nanny feeds the kids (9, 7, 4) Monday through Friday. I could never cook 7 meals per week. They would eat cereal most nights if it was up to me to cook. I hate cooking.

We will keep our nanny as long as possible because of dinner. We pay her 5.5 hours a day to work 3 and it’s so worth it

So you never eat dinner together as a family during the week?

Yes. I don’t really care about it and don’t understand why it’s such a big deal for people.

On top of that, DH gets home at 7:30 pm most/every nights and kids eat at 6-6:30 and in bed by 8. DH and I will eat at 8:30-9

+1 also don’t care about it and don’t know why people are aghast that we don’t either. DH has always worked late.

Honest truth, because it’s a clear demonstration of your priorities. You have older kids and are choosing not to spend with them - the entire week, every week. And how much time can your DH spend with his family if he’s not ever home? That’s why people are aghast. That they’ve never said any of this to you directly means they’re just polite.

Please enlighten me… what are my priorities?

Who knows, but it’s not family time with your kids.

Says who? You? I spend plenty of time with my kids afternoons, evenings, weekends, vacations, etc. I take two months off every summer and I am with them 24/7. How about you? You are just a judgmental angry person.

Around your nanny’s schedule and their activities, right? Get defensive if you want. I’m just telling you what all of those aghast people are thinking. We all know families like yours. Your definition of “plenty of time” around your nanny (and husband’s) schedules is just not what the rest of us aghast folk would consider plenty. But it’s your family, you do you.

This is ridiculous. Dinner is not the only time where you can spend time with your kids. No wonders Americans are so fat. Think about your kids and stop judging other families… mine is wonderful and happy… full of love and memories. We are lucky to be able to afford all we can and still spend a lot of time with our kids (not at the diner table). Think about YOUR family. Mine is great

Meal time is a huge family thing in a lot of countries. It’s not a US thing. It’s actually much more important in other cultures.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My nanny feeds the kids (9, 7, 4) Monday through Friday. I could never cook 7 meals per week. They would eat cereal most nights if it was up to me to cook. I hate cooking.

We will keep our nanny as long as possible because of dinner. We pay her 5.5 hours a day to work 3 and it’s so worth it

So you never eat dinner together as a family during the week?

Yes. I don’t really care about it and don’t understand why it’s such a big deal for people.

On top of that, DH gets home at 7:30 pm most/every nights and kids eat at 6-6:30 and in bed by 8. DH and I will eat at 8:30-9

+1 also don’t care about it and don’t know why people are aghast that we don’t either. DH has always worked late.

Honest truth, because it’s a clear demonstration of your priorities. You have older kids and are choosing not to spend with them - the entire week, every week. And how much time can your DH spend with his family if he’s not ever home? That’s why people are aghast. That they’ve never said any of this to you directly means they’re just polite.

Please enlighten me… what are my priorities?

Who knows, but it’s not family time with your kids.

Says who? You? I spend plenty of time with my kids afternoons, evenings, weekends, vacations, etc. I take two months off every summer and I am with them 24/7. How about you? You are just a judgmental angry person.

Around your nanny’s schedule and their activities, right? Get defensive if you want. I’m just telling you what all of those aghast people are thinking. We all know families like yours. Your definition of “plenty of time” around your nanny (and husband’s) schedules is just not what the rest of us aghast folk would consider plenty. But it’s your family, you do you.

DP who also doesn’t do family dinners because of late working DH. I’m a SAHM with no family nearby and never had childcare except for unavoidable situations. Believe me I spend more time with my kids than you do. DH sees the kids plenty because he doesn’t go in early, has lots of PTO, and sees them every evening, just not around a freakin dinner table. Do you or your spouse have to work very late? If you did, would you keep children up and make them wait to eat a very late dinner and have a subsequent late bedtime? That’s your choice of course, but can you not understand the choice to feed hungry children and maximize their sleep?

This is true for us too but I would not do dinners all together even if DH was home at 6 because I hate cooking and feeding my kids. I am not a SAHM, but have a very flexible job that allows me to take my kids to all their activities (lots of them because my kids are very athletic) and spend plenty of time with them. As I said, we take lots of vacations and spend 2 months every summer in Europe (DH for 1 month). I know I spend more time with my kids than most of the families I know because of my flexible job. On weekend we eat together every meal and I don’t find the time we spend at the table rewarding or important at all. Of course if I could only spend meaningful time with my kids at dinner, then I would feel differently about it. Thankfully, I can spend plenty of time talking to them and doing things together and have our nanny cooking and feeding them when we are back!

+1 exactly. The time around the dinner table isn’t special or unique. I guess if it were I might feel differently too. Honestly the times when I connect best with my kids are when we are in the car chatting or right before bed. I think forced dinner conversations are not the most open/comfortable for kids of many ages.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My nanny feeds the kids (9, 7, 4) Monday through Friday. I could never cook 7 meals per week. They would eat cereal most nights if it was up to me to cook. I hate cooking.

We will keep our nanny as long as possible because of dinner. We pay her 5.5 hours a day to work 3 and it’s so worth it

We also have a nanny, but DH loves cooking. So the nanny has the kids setting the dinner table and preps dinner (the salad, marinating meat, chopping veg, etc.) and then DH finishes work and cooks dinner. But we go out twice a week and I cook one night a week so he's only cooking four dinners each week.

Please go start your own thread about something else! This is for the downtrodden dinner hags only. Mine have cried over beautiful Melissa Clark recipes. They would eat hot dogs out of the trash.

Ha! Solidarity. They’re like raccoons.

OMG. Yes!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am positive that as I lay dying one of them will lean over my deathbed and ask me if they have eaten enough to get dessert.

YES!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My nanny feeds the kids (9, 7, 4) Monday through Friday. I could never cook 7 meals per week. They would eat cereal most nights if it was up to me to cook. I hate cooking.

We will keep our nanny as long as possible because of dinner. We pay her 5.5 hours a day to work 3 and it’s so worth it

So you never eat dinner together as a family during the week?

Yes. I don’t really care about it and don’t understand why it’s such a big deal for people.

On top of that, DH gets home at 7:30 pm most/every nights and kids eat at 6-6:30 and in bed by 8. DH and I will eat at 8:30-9

+1 also don’t care about it and don’t know why people are aghast that we don’t either. DH has always worked late.

Honest truth, because it’s a clear demonstration of your priorities. You have older kids and are choosing not to spend with them - the entire week, every week. And how much time can your DH spend with his family if he’s not ever home? That’s why people are aghast. That they’ve never said any of this to you directly means they’re just polite.

Please enlighten me… what are my priorities?

Who knows, but it’s not family time with your kids.

Says who? You? I spend plenty of time with my kids afternoons, evenings, weekends, vacations, etc. I take two months off every summer and I am with them 24/7. How about you? You are just a judgmental angry person.

Around your nanny’s schedule and their activities, right? Get defensive if you want. I’m just telling you what all of those aghast people are thinking. We all know families like yours. Your definition of “plenty of time” around your nanny (and husband’s) schedules is just not what the rest of us aghast folk would consider plenty. But it’s your family, you do you.

DP who also doesn’t do family dinners because of late working DH. I’m a SAHM with no family nearby and never had childcare except for unavoidable situations. Believe me I spend more time with my kids than you do. DH sees the kids plenty because he doesn’t go in early, has lots of PTO, and sees them every evening, just not around a freakin dinner table. Do you or your spouse have to work very late? If you did, would you keep children up and make them wait to eat a very late dinner and have a subsequent late bedtime? That’s your choice of course, but can you not understand the choice to feed hungry children and maximize their sleep?

This is true for us too but I would not do dinners all together even if DH was home at 6 because I hate cooking and feeding my kids. I am not a SAHM, but have a very flexible job that allows me to take my kids to all their activities (lots of them because my kids are very athletic) and spend plenty of time with them. As I said, we take lots of vacations and spend 2 months every summer in Europe (DH for 1 month). I know I spend more time with my kids than most of the families I know because of my flexible job. On weekend we eat together every meal and I don’t find the time we spend at the table rewarding or important at all. Of course if I could only spend meaningful time with my kids at dinner, then I would feel differently about it. Thankfully, I can spend plenty of time talking to them and doing things together and have our nanny cooking and feeding them when we are back!

NP. Most of this isn't about food; it's about horrible manners and ingratitude, period.

Do these same food-complaining kids also carp and complain about other things in their lives or other things you as parents do for them? I'm guessing yes.

At 10 and 13, they need a harsh reality check, OP, unless you want all the middle school and high school years to be a nightmare. Family meeting, serious talking to about how this affects the entire family even though they think it's just "I'm hungry and I want X instead of Y." Then they start sitting with you to plan the shopping list, go shopping with you, and on weekends help you make a few dinners ahead of time for the week, things that can be frozen/refrigerated. I'm not saying spend every bit of Sat and Sun cooking or fill the freezer with seven dinners every single week. But they need to take more responsibility. And I know an earlier PP insisted your kids would never cook but if you make it non-negotiable and make their activities for the weekend contingent on their doing this, well, they'll figure it out the first time they miss soccer or whatever. Doing it ahead, on weekends, will prevent weeknight conflict for ALL of you. And for any complaining, treat it as an issue for discipline because it's incredibly rude. One warning; never cave in on a different food choice other than what THEY chose, prepped and served; and a second complaint means they instantly lose screen time or whatever they most value. Swift and consistent.

I know it sounds like a lot of work to involve them and cook ahead. It IS a lot of work especially at first. But you need your spouse to pitch in big time and you both need to train them into some appreciation and gratitude now before they're older teens and it's too late.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My nanny feeds the kids (9, 7, 4) Monday through Friday. I could never cook 7 meals per week. They would eat cereal most nights if it was up to me to cook. I hate cooking.

We will keep our nanny as long as possible because of dinner. We pay her 5.5 hours a day to work 3 and it’s so worth it

So you never eat dinner together as a family during the week?

Yes. I don’t really care about it and don’t understand why it’s such a big deal for people.

On top of that, DH gets home at 7:30 pm most/every nights and kids eat at 6-6:30 and in bed by 8. DH and I will eat at 8:30-9

+1 also don’t care about it and don’t know why people are aghast that we don’t either. DH has always worked late.

Honest truth, because it’s a clear demonstration of your priorities. You have older kids and are choosing not to spend with them - the entire week, every week. And how much time can your DH spend with his family if he’s not ever home? That’s why people are aghast. That they’ve never said any of this to you directly means they’re just polite.

Please enlighten me… what are my priorities?

Who knows, but it’s not family time with your kids.

Says who? You? I spend plenty of time with my kids afternoons, evenings, weekends, vacations, etc. I take two months off every summer and I am with them 24/7. How about you? You are just a judgmental angry person.

Around your nanny’s schedule and their activities, right? Get defensive if you want. I’m just telling you what all of those aghast people are thinking. We all know families like yours. Your definition of “plenty of time” around your nanny (and husband’s) schedules is just not what the rest of us aghast folk would consider plenty. But it’s your family, you do you.

DP who also doesn’t do family dinners because of late working DH. I’m a SAHM with no family nearby and never had childcare except for unavoidable situations. Believe me I spend more time with my kids than you do. DH sees the kids plenty because he doesn’t go in early, has lots of PTO, and sees them every evening, just not around a freakin dinner table. Do you or your spouse have to work very late? If you did, would you keep children up and make them wait to eat a very late dinner and have a subsequent late bedtime? That’s your choice of course, but can you not understand the choice to feed hungry children and maximize their sleep?

Anonymous wrote:I went out for sushi with my GFs for my birthday and we got there too early -- the restaurant was full of little angels eating sushi with their families. One little girl, probably 6 years old, started complaining "Next time I want Thai food" and we almost died. Where did we ALL go wrong???
Worst of all, they were all great eaters until around the age of 4. WTF happened?

Look, I have a sushi and Thai food loving 7 year old. One who ate a rotating list of some 5 foods total from age 1-5. For us, it was years of psychological warfare at the dinner table, and a refusal to ever introduce nuggets and Mac and cheese into the dinner rotation. But what you saw was a very non-representative sample of kids. Almost none of her friends like sushi and Thai food, and she still wouldn’t eat a cheeseburger if her life depended on it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My nanny feeds the kids (9, 7, 4) Monday through Friday. I could never cook 7 meals per week. They would eat cereal most nights if it was up to me to cook. I hate cooking.

We will keep our nanny as long as possible because of dinner. We pay her 5.5 hours a day to work 3 and it’s so worth it

So you never eat dinner together as a family during the week?

Yes. I don’t really care about it and don’t understand why it’s such a big deal for people.

On top of that, DH gets home at 7:30 pm most/every nights and kids eat at 6-6:30 and in bed by 8. DH and I will eat at 8:30-9

+1 also don’t care about it and don’t know why people are aghast that we don’t either. DH has always worked late.

Honest truth, because it’s a clear demonstration of your priorities. You have older kids and are choosing not to spend with them - the entire week, every week. And how much time can your DH spend with his family if he’s not ever home? That’s why people are aghast. That they’ve never said any of this to you directly means they’re just polite.

Please enlighten me… what are my priorities?

Who knows, but it’s not family time with your kids.

Says who? You? I spend plenty of time with my kids afternoons, evenings, weekends, vacations, etc. I take two months off every summer and I am with them 24/7. How about you? You are just a judgmental angry person.

Around your nanny’s schedule and their activities, right? Get defensive if you want. I’m just telling you what all of those aghast people are thinking. We all know families like yours. Your definition of “plenty of time” around your nanny (and husband’s) schedules is just not what the rest of us aghast folk would consider plenty. But it’s your family, you do you.

This is ridiculous. Dinner is not the only time where you can spend time with your kids. No wonders Americans are so fat. Think about your kids and stop judging other families… mine is wonderful and happy… full of love and memories. We are lucky to be able to afford all we can and still spend a lot of time with our kids (not at the diner table). Think about YOUR family. Mine is great

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My nanny feeds the kids (9, 7, 4) Monday through Friday. I could never cook 7 meals per week. They would eat cereal most nights if it was up to me to cook. I hate cooking.

We will keep our nanny as long as possible because of dinner. We pay her 5.5 hours a day to work 3 and it’s so worth it

We also have a nanny, but DH loves cooking. So the nanny has the kids setting the dinner table and preps dinner (the salad, marinating meat, chopping veg, etc.) and then DH finishes work and cooks dinner. But we go out twice a week and I cook one night a week so he's only cooking four dinners each week.

Please go start your own thread about something else! This is for the downtrodden dinner hags only. Mine have cried over beautiful Melissa Clark recipes. They would eat hot dogs out of the trash.

Ha! Solidarity. They’re like raccoons.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t really understand this issue which is so common among parents. When I was a kid we ate what was put in front of us or we didn’t eat. ‘You get what you get and you don’t get upset.’ Of course we were neuro typical so I certainly understand in some cases kids can’t cope, but neurotypical kids will not starve themselves, they will eat eventually. When I see mothers (it’s almost always mothers) bending over backward and preparing multiple meals to accommodate all preferences I am just mind blown. I don’t know any kids I grew up with who had that kind of . . . coddling. Is it part of what they teach in the parenting classes and books of recent decades? If not, how does this even start? Are young moms really so afraid their child will fail to thrive absent constant efforts to provide them with the food they want? What I’ve seen in practical terms is a lot of American kids growing up eating chicken nuggets most nights or Mac and cheese or whatever their favorite and not actually getting a good balanced diet nor an exposure to various foods that will encourage an inquisitive palate in later life. It’s sad.

Serious question, did you grow up poor? In my middle class/umc childhood, there were definitely accommodations for picky kids. I wasn’t picky but my brother survived on cereal and hot dogs. My friend ate only bagels for many meals.

Upper middle class person here. My experience as a kid was the same. You ate what was served. This was usually a protein, a starch, a veggie
and a side salad. If you did not like an item you ate the other three. There was no special catering of items to the kids in our family.

I’m the original poster on this and no, we weren’t poor. In my early childhood years when my mom was home we were solidly working class in the 70s when that meant a nice house cars and plenty of food in the larder. Later when my mom went back to work we were solidly lower middle class. We had roasts and steaks and nice food at the weekend and pretty good food during the week. But yeah it was a protein two veg and a starch not much salad except in summer but you got what you got and that was that.

My father was military retired the year I was born so he had spent decades eating what was put in front of him and didn’t think we needed any different. Complaining was not really tolerated but I laud those of you who allow more independent thinking, I truly do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am positive that as I lay dying one of them will lean over my deathbed and ask me if they have eaten enough to get dessert.

I literally laughed out loud at this.