My parents live on a small fixed income that meets their basic needs but my dad feels a great deal of financial stress. They are very careful about what they spend, including skimping on food, keep the heat low in winter, don’t use air conditioning, and limit the times they use to car to save on gas.

My dad does not like taking help at all from anyone. He worked hard his whole life and has always been financially responsible but various factors meant they ended up on a small fixed income (his pension).

I help them in small ways but even then he will etransfer me money to cover any costs I incur so it is hard to help them financially. I wish I could help them more. They still drive and live very independently. They do keep a list of small tasks (mostly electronics based!) for me.

My dad supported his mom staring in her 50s until she died at 76. it was a great drain on our finances when i was growing up. All other grandparents dead by then.

My parents took care of things to make sure they never did that to us kids.

Anonymous wrote: And even as a 5 year old, I knew not everything was about Fairness. Whoever told you life is fair, lied.

It's true that life isn't fair when it comes to things that are beyond our control. However, the PP's husband and in-laws could have chosen not to let their mother take advantage of their kindness.

And even as a 5 year old, I knew not everything was about Fairness. Whoever told you life is fair, lied.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband started sending his mother money every month when he was in his early 30s. It was a very manageable amount for us. She is a widow and was living off social security and had nothing else. He has siblings and they also helped. His mother filed for bankruptcy before this, and when my husband was in his early 20s and we had not met yet, he and his older siblings chipped in to give her money to try to save her house.

His mother has since had a medical crisis and was moved into a nursing home, which is paid for by Medicaid. So he is not supporting her financially any longer. He and his siblings did draw the line at spending a ton of money to try to keep her in her house (which wasn't a reasonable choice anyway after the crisis) or in one of their homes.

My own parents are financially well off and so this will not be an issue for them.

How it was his or his siblings' fault that their mother defaulted on her loans?

I’m sure you think these repetitive childish posts make you sound intelligent and clever, but I assure you, they do not.

Who said I was trying to sound intelligent or clever? Even a 5-year-old can understand that it's not fair for someone to have to make sacrifices for someone else's poor choices.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband started sending his mother money every month when he was in his early 30s. It was a very manageable amount for us. She is a widow and was living off social security and had nothing else. He has siblings and they also helped. His mother filed for bankruptcy before this, and when my husband was in his early 20s and we had not met yet, he and his older siblings chipped in to give her money to try to save her house.

His mother has since had a medical crisis and was moved into a nursing home, which is paid for by Medicaid. So he is not supporting her financially any longer. He and his siblings did draw the line at spending a ton of money to try to keep her in her house (which wasn't a reasonable choice anyway after the crisis) or in one of their homes.

My own parents are financially well off and so this will not be an issue for them.

How it was his or his siblings' fault that their mother defaulted on her loans?

I’m sure you think these repetitive childish posts make you sound intelligent and clever, but I assure you, they do not.

Anonymous wrote:I plan to give my father anything he needs up until his 75th birthday and give my mother anything she needs up until her 80th birthday. If they're still alive after those ages, that should be good enough for them, as most men are dead by 75 and most women are dead by 80.

Oh, it’s you again. So when is your first psychiatric appointment?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm middle aged and my parents financially support me.

How did this come to pass?

I live with chronic depression and chronic fatigue. I have always worked, but they help out. They are able to and seem happy to do it.

Yes, my parents paid for my undergrad and grad degree. When I graduated I started to give money. They help with childcare about 3 months per year. I’m in my early 40s and probably have give them low 6 figures so far. My husband jokes since there’s probably another 20+ years of support they got the better end of the financial deal. Thankfully, we’re able to do this.

Anonymous wrote:I'm middle aged and my parents financially support me.

How did this come to pass?

I'm middle aged and my parents financially support me.

Anonymous wrote:Is this even a question? I've been supporting my parents and in-law parents for the past twenty years. My in-law parents are currently living with us so that my wife can take good care of them. Without my parents' love and support when I was young, I would not be where I am today.

Exactly! And I agree that this shouldn't even be a question. Of course we will take care of family whether it is physical, emotional, financial, spiritual or some other type of care.

Anonymous wrote:I will have to support my dad. Like PP said, it really has nothing to do with what I am picturing. I had pictured him saving properly for retirement but that ship has long since sailed.

Why do you have to make sacrifices for your dad's poor choices? Did you hypnotize him and force him to continuously spend his money on pointless things?

Anonymous wrote:My divorced sister lives with my parents and they help eachother out, although as they get older it will be more on her. I always tell her how grateful I am for that set up and that whatever money they paid into her house was totally fine with me as I know it’s the best situation for them and can be a struggle. Financially it makes very good sense to combine households if you can. Not sure I could deal with living with them and certainly not my in laws.

do you provide any support to your sister, such as spelling for caregiving?

Anonymous wrote:Not very many, seeing as how the parents of most middle-aged people are dead.

Really? How do you define "Middle age?" I know my own parents were in their mid-late 60's before their parents were dead.