Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP define good quality of life.

A home in McLean /Vienna Oakton.
Daycare or nanny share
Good public schools
One or two trips a year

I think one of the issues with this generation is that they don't believe in the idea of starting at the bottom and working their way up. They believe that they should start out at the top. They seem to skip over the progression of life, which is odd.
When I had kids, we had a relatively low HHI and lived in a townhome. As our incomes and family grew, we moved out, upgraded the house, and started to travel more. Our lifestyle changed over time. I don't think that millennial and GenZ can tolerate that.

My friend is a realtor and says this all of the time. Young people want everything but don’t have the money for it. They are turned off by homes that aren’t completely updated. They turn up their noses if the kitchen isn’t high end enough. My kitchen is from 1978 so I hope my son doesn’t act like that. Everything works fine. I hope he isn’t so hung up on appearances.

Anonymous wrote:We spent hours going over our budget tonight. In Bethesda with 3 kids in public school we need at least $18k/month after taxes to live fairly comfortably. This includes childcare, food, two car payments, mortgage (5-br house), all utilities, landscaping, bi-weekly house cleaning, retirement/college savings, sports, etc. Everything.

Houses are expensive in any desirable location. Considering what you get for your money (diverse, well-educated interesting neighbors, great public schools), I think Bethesda/Potomac are a good deal. Childcare, camps, activities are super expensive here though. We pay sitters $30/hr. Summer camp for 3 kids is over $1600/week. Before/after care at the elementary school is thousands. Preschools that accommodate working hours are $20k+. Birthday parties are $500-$1000 at any local play space. I just paid $800 for spring tennis lessons. It just really really adds up fast.

This has to be sarcasm.

Anonymous wrote:We spent hours going over our budget tonight. In Bethesda with 3 kids in public school we need at least $18k/month after taxes to live fairly comfortably. This includes childcare, food, two car payments, mortgage (5-br house), all utilities, landscaping, bi-weekly house cleaning, retirement/college savings, sports, etc. Everything.

Houses are expensive in any desirable location. Considering what you get for your money (diverse, well-educated interesting neighbors, great public schools), I think Bethesda/Potomac are a good deal. Childcare, camps, activities are super expensive here though. We pay sitters $30/hr. Summer camp for 3 kids is over $1600/week. Before/after care at the elementary school is thousands. Preschools that accommodate working hours are $20k+. Birthday parties are $500-$1000 at any local play space. I just paid $800 for spring tennis lessons. It just really really adds up fast.

Did your parents have an income equivalent to $18k/month in today's money when you and your siblings were born? Did they live in Bethesda/Potomac or equivalent neighborhood?
If not, did your family have a miserable life? Poor parents, DCUM wasn't there at that time to tell them that they couldn't afford to bring you to this world.

Anonymous wrote:We spent hours going over our budget tonight. In Bethesda with 3 kids in public school we need at least $18k/month after taxes to live fairly comfortably. This includes childcare, food, two car payments, mortgage (5-br house), all utilities, landscaping, bi-weekly house cleaning, retirement/college savings, sports, etc. Everything.

Houses are expensive in any desirable location. Considering what you get for your money (diverse, well-educated interesting neighbors, great public schools), I think Bethesda/Potomac are a good deal. Childcare, camps, activities are super expensive here though. We pay sitters $30/hr. Summer camp for 3 kids is over $1600/week. Before/after care at the elementary school is thousands. Preschools that accommodate working hours are $20k+. Birthday parties are $500-$1000 at any local play space. I just paid $800 for spring tennis lessons. It just really really adds up fast.

Oh, good lord. None of this is required. When we had little kids, we lived in a townhome. I couldn't afford the neighborhood pool for the summer so we bought a cheap plastic thing for a small patch of lawn. Kids played in parks. I cleaned the house myself - and same for landscaping. We had birthday parties in a public park.
I'm starting to wonder if the absurd expectations is why women wait so long to have kids and then end up not having them.

And I love the dig at "poor neighbors" - clearly not interesting or educated folks if they don't make $500K. This area is just crazy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP define good quality of life.

A home in McLean /Vienna Oakton.
Daycare or nanny share
Good public schools
One or two trips a year

I think one of the issues with this generation is that they don't believe in the idea of starting at the bottom and working their way up. They believe that they should start out at the top. They seem to skip over the progression of life, which is odd.
When I had kids, we had a relatively low HHI and lived in a townhome. As our incomes and family grew, we moved out, upgraded the house, and started to travel more. Our lifestyle changed over time. I don't think that millennial and GenZ can tolerate that.

This is true and in part due to social media

—Signed a millennial

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP define good quality of life.

A home in McLean /Vienna Oakton.
Daycare or nanny share
Good public schools
One or two trips a year

I think one of the issues with this generation is that they don't believe in the idea of starting at the bottom and working their way up. They believe that they should start out at the top. They seem to skip over the progression of life, which is odd.
When I had kids, we had a relatively low HHI and lived in a townhome. As our incomes and family grew, we moved out, upgraded the house, and started to travel more. Our lifestyle changed over time. I don't think that millennial and GenZ can tolerate that.

How's life over there in Boomerania?

Huh? I was born in 78, which makes me GenX, and worlds away from the current crop of parents it seems. I didn’t expect to start out in McLean. This gen’s expectations are too much

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP define good quality of life.

A home in McLean /Vienna Oakton.
Daycare or nanny share
Good public schools
One or two trips a year

I think one of the issues with this generation is that they don't believe in the idea of starting at the bottom and working their way up. They believe that they should start out at the top. They seem to skip over the progression of life, which is odd.
When I had kids, we had a relatively low HHI and lived in a townhome. As our incomes and family grew, we moved out, upgraded the house, and started to travel more. Our lifestyle changed over time. I don't think that millennial and GenZ can tolerate that.

How's life over there in Boomerania?

How many boomers do you know who did competitive travel swimming? Or whose kids did? Or who had their own bedrooms growing up?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP define good quality of life.

A home in McLean /Vienna Oakton.
Daycare or nanny share
Good public schools
One or two trips a year

I think one of the issues with this generation is that they don't believe in the idea of starting at the bottom and working their way up. They believe that they should start out at the top. They seem to skip over the progression of life, which is odd.
When I had kids, we had a relatively low HHI and lived in a townhome. As our incomes and family grew, we moved out, upgraded the house, and started to travel more. Our lifestyle changed over time. I don't think that millennial and GenZ can tolerate that.

How's life over there in Boomerania?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP define good quality of life.

A home in McLean /Vienna Oakton.
Daycare or nanny share
Good public schools
One or two trips a year

I think one of the issues with this generation is that they don't believe in the idea of starting at the bottom and working their way up. They believe that they should start out at the top. They seem to skip over the progression of life, which is odd.
When I had kids, we had a relatively low HHI and lived in a townhome. As our incomes and family grew, we moved out, upgraded the house, and started to travel more. Our lifestyle changed over time. I don't think that millennial and GenZ can tolerate that.

Our HHI is about 350-400k, location is McLean. We are doing fine with two kids. But we had the first when I was still doing PhD! Yes it was hard but doable. If you want kids, better to start early. All you need is LOVE plus some basic comfort in life. That's all I can say.

Yes, but you’ll have to move to the exurbs of Houston.

Anonymous wrote:[mastodon]

Anonymous wrote:We spent hours going over our budget tonight. In Bethesda with 3 kids in public school we need at least $18k/month after taxes to live fairly comfortably. This includes childcare, food, two car payments, mortgage (5-br house), all utilities, landscaping, bi-weekly house cleaning, retirement/college savings, sports, etc. Everything.

Houses are expensive in any desirable location. Considering what you get for your money (diverse, well-educated interesting neighbors, great public schools), I think Bethesda/Potomac are a good deal. Childcare, camps, activities are super expensive here though. We pay sitters $30/hr. Summer camp for 3 kids is over $1600/week. Before/after care at the elementary school is thousands. Preschools that accommodate working hours are $20k+. Birthday parties are $500-$1000 at any local play space. I just paid $800 for spring tennis lessons. It just really really adds up fast.

There are such things as condos and townhouses.

And you can...omg can I even say this...RENT

We make $600K and are a few weeks away from having a third but my husband and I are very focused on our careers and our incomes have grown a lot since we had our first (HHI should be about $900K/1M by the time our youngest is 4). If you know your career and DH's business is on an upward trajectory then I think you can start with $150K. It really depends on what you want for yourself and your life. I would figure out what you can spend on childcare before having a child because you want to make sure that it's doable. You don't want to boot strap childcare.

I think you make more than enough to have a child. But yes, it is very expensive to live in this area and to raise a child, and it has only gotten worse over the years.

If you put off having kids, you really should prioritize saving AS MUCH AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE NOW if you plan to have them. $200 - 300K is a lot for two people without kids, but its easy to blow your way through it if you like to live the high life with lots of travel, dinners out, expensive clothes, designer purses and fancy cars etc.

Also keep in mind that day care costs rise every year, and the cost of housing has become totally insane.

By way of example, my husband and I bought our 3 bedroom split level house in Potomac for $650K in 2014. We quickly refinanced to a 3.6 percent interest rate, so we have a monthly payment for our $3,200 PITI. If we were to buy our house today, it would cost us $5,200 PITI, when you factor the increased value and higher interest rates.

Also when we bought our house, full time infant day care for our son was $2,000 a month at our very highly regarded day care center. Now its $2,600 a month.

So, for someone to live our exact same life, in the same house, sending their child to the same day care, it would cost them $2,600 a month more than what we paid.

The longer you wait, the more things will increase in price. So yes, its doable, but if you live a fancy life now on your salary, where you spend a lot on non-essential things, you will be in for quite a shock when you have kids.

Anonymous wrote:Every year that you wait increases the odds that you'll pay 20-100K per child for IVF and other interventions.

And the cost of the first house will increase a ton.