Regrets? Caring about prestige vs what’s best for my kid.

Anonymous wrote:I wish we'd started touring schools earlier and spread them out more.

We did this (starting sophomore year) and were very glad. Made the whole (campus visit) process fun and relaxing.

The application process, of course, still had its moments.

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Anonymous wrote:I should never have given in and let my child apply to a school that was beyond our financial means. Four of the school they applied to were within reach and one is close to $20K more a year. I honestly didn't think they'd get into the expensive one based on Naviance, and so I gave in. Well, they got in to all five and of course it's the crazy expensive one that my child has become totally fixated on. They are willing to borrow a fortune to go and nothing I say about not starting life in so much debt is sinking in. But I think that if I had put my foot down during the application process they would have looked elsewhere.

How will your kid be borrowing a fortune? Kids are only able to borrow around 5k a year. After that, it’s the parents borrowing.

+1. The FAFSA limit is $5500. Kids can’t take out loans because they have no collateral. It’s parents who must take out loans, refinance etc for undergrad

Wait- for real?

Federal student loan maximum = 5500 in year 1, 6500 year 2, 7500 year 3 and beyond. Maximum allowed = $31k
https://studentaid.gov/understand-aid/types/loans/subsidized-unsubsidized

There are private student loans that may be in the student's name but they need to be co-signed by a parent so it's still really the parent's loan.

How do people end up with so much debt then? Sorry if this is a stupid question.

It’s not a stupid question. The first thing any good college counselor should ask is how much can the family afford -and don't look at anything the family cant cant afford. Even out public high school counselor did that. It’s true that undergrad is almost entirely on the parents. We chose to refinance when things got tough sending two the college at once. Parents have to make it work out of 529s, savings, grandparent donations, etc. I started saving the moment each child was born but it wasn’t enough. Both took out the maximum FAFSA (the $5500 everyone is talking about here) which you can take out once you file the FAFSA. Neither of our children got any merit or financial assistance. Both went in-state. The hubbub about student debt is actually about grad school. That’s where a student can get $150+ in debt for law, dental or medical school. Fwiw the media didn’t make this clear when Biden was trying to get student loan cancellation through. Those that understand the system always knew that the crisis is for grad students and that he never, as President, had the authority to make it happen but it sounded good as a campaign promise -and that’s what it always was. Fwiw my niece had to take out $$ private loans from her own father to get through a slac she desperately wanted. She makes next to nothing and will never be able to pay it back which has caused resentment on the family. Think about it -what collateral does your 17/18 year old have? Why would a bank or school give them a loan?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I should never have given in and let my child apply to a school that was beyond our financial means. Four of the school they applied to were within reach and one is close to $20K more a year. I honestly didn't think they'd get into the expensive one based on Naviance, and so I gave in. Well, they got in to all five and of course it's the crazy expensive one that my child has become totally fixated on. They are willing to borrow a fortune to go and nothing I say about not starting life in so much debt is sinking in. But I think that if I had put my foot down during the application process they would have looked elsewhere.

You will have to pay the extra $20k yearly, not them. Are you going to take parent plus loans? You can still put your foot down! I did - it was hard, there were tears and silence, but now that kid is almost done, I am so happy we went with least expensive option.

+1

But I agree that they should have put their foot down earlier in the process (this is about regrets/what to do differently). Very important to let your kids know the maximum you are willing to pay so they can adjust their list and not fall in love with too expensive schools

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Anonymous wrote:Hired a college counselor which in our case was mostly a waste; definitely should have paid by the hour rather than a package
Maybe undershot given all the hysteria about admissions. DC got in everywhere so far (high stats kid); maybe just a fluke.

College counselors really seem to promote the easier schools and talk you out of the prestige mindset and pound the table on fit. But it makes their life easier if your expectations are adjusted downward and you get accepted into schools anyone with decent stats could get into

At the same time, everyone (except the absolute best applicants) starts the process with overly high expectations, in part because most parents are familiar with a much easier era. So it’s a balancing act. The good news is you can apply to 20 schools so lots of room for reaches targets and safeties

My kid is a junior and the school counselor just recommended ED1 Boston College, ED2 ... Lehigh. (Surely there is something in between, like Villanova?) I think the counselor just wants to be sure they get in "somewhere."

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Anonymous wrote:We reached on ED1, got the memo, and played it safer for ED2, which worked out. I think DC is in at the best possible school and most importantly a great fit. If we had reached again for ED2, it probably wouldn’t have worked and DC would be obliterated in RD, just looking at all these kids with 35s and 4.0s getting rejected. Nothing wrong with playing it safe sometimes when you can lock in a very good outcome with high probability! If you’ve got a school that you really like and it’s a target, don’t hesitate to pull the ED trigger

we did same but i am feeling threw in towel. was your dc deferred or rejected ed 1?

Rejected. Actually think DC will be better off and happier at ED2 school, notwithstanding a few slots down in USNWR

Please stop feeding into the USNWR list as if it meant anything.

I am literally saying DC will be better off at lower ranked USNWR school. Are we not even allowed to mention USNWR?

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We reached on ED1, got the memo, and played it safer for ED2, which worked out. I think DC is in at the best possible school and most importantly a great fit. If we had reached again for ED2, it probably wouldn’t have worked and DC would be obliterated in RD, just looking at all these kids with 35s and 4.0s getting rejected. Nothing wrong with playing it safe sometimes when you can lock in a very good outcome with high probability! If you’ve got a school that you really like and it’s a target, don’t hesitate to pull the ED trigger

we did same but i am feeling threw in towel. was your dc deferred or rejected ed 1?

Rejected. Actually think DC will be better off and happier at ED2 school, notwithstanding a few slots down in USNWR

Please stop feeding into the USNWR list as if it meant anything.

I wish we'd started touring schools earlier and spread them out more.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I should never have given in and let my child apply to a school that was beyond our financial means. Four of the school they applied to were within reach and one is close to $20K more a year. I honestly didn't think they'd get into the expensive one based on Naviance, and so I gave in. Well, they got in to all five and of course it's the crazy expensive one that my child has become totally fixated on. They are willing to borrow a fortune to go and nothing I say about not starting life in so much debt is sinking in. But I think that if I had put my foot down during the application process they would have looked elsewhere.

How will your kid be borrowing a fortune? Kids are only able to borrow around 5k a year. After that, it’s the parents borrowing.

+1. The FAFSA limit is $5500. Kids can’t take out loans because they have no collateral. It’s parents who must take out loans, refinance etc for undergrad

Wait- for real?

Federal student loan maximum = 5500 in year 1, 6500 year 2, 7500 year 3 and beyond. Maximum allowed = $31k
https://studentaid.gov/understand-aid/types/loans/subsidized-unsubsidized

There are private student loans that may be in the student's name but they need to be co-signed by a parent so it's still really the parent's loan.

How do people end up with so much debt then? Sorry if this is a stupid question.

Parent loans, grad school loans, loans that are put in deferent while the interest rapidly accumulates.

Private loans

Anonymous wrote:Hired a college counselor which in our case was mostly a waste; definitely should have paid by the hour rather than a package
Maybe undershot given all the hysteria about admissions. DC got in everywhere so far (high stats kid); maybe just a fluke.

College counselors really seem to promote the easier schools and talk you out of the prestige mindset and pound the table on fit. But it makes their life easier if your expectations are adjusted downward and you get accepted into schools anyone with decent stats could get into

At the same time, everyone (except the absolute best applicants) starts the process with overly high expectations, in part because most parents are familiar with a much easier era. So it’s a balancing act. The good news is you can apply to 20 schools so lots of room for reaches targets and safeties

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I should never have given in and let my child apply to a school that was beyond our financial means. Four of the school they applied to were within reach and one is close to $20K more a year. I honestly didn't think they'd get into the expensive one based on Naviance, and so I gave in. Well, they got in to all five and of course it's the crazy expensive one that my child has become totally fixated on. They are willing to borrow a fortune to go and nothing I say about not starting life in so much debt is sinking in. But I think that if I had put my foot down during the application process they would have looked elsewhere.

How will your kid be borrowing a fortune? Kids are only able to borrow around 5k a year. After that, it’s the parents borrowing.

+1. The FAFSA limit is $5500. Kids can’t take out loans because they have no collateral. It’s parents who must take out loans, refinance etc for undergrad

Wait- for real?

Federal student loan maximum = 5500 in year 1, 6500 year 2, 7500 year 3 and beyond. Maximum allowed = $31k
https://studentaid.gov/understand-aid/types/loans/subsidized-unsubsidized

There are private student loans that may be in the student's name but they need to be co-signed by a parent so it's still really the parent's loan.

How do people end up with so much debt then? Sorry if this is a stupid question.

Parent loans, grad school loans, loans that are put in deferent while the interest rapidly accumulates.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I should never have given in and let my child apply to a school that was beyond our financial means. Four of the school they applied to were within reach and one is close to $20K more a year. I honestly didn't think they'd get into the expensive one based on Naviance, and so I gave in. Well, they got in to all five and of course it's the crazy expensive one that my child has become totally fixated on. They are willing to borrow a fortune to go and nothing I say about not starting life in so much debt is sinking in. But I think that if I had put my foot down during the application process they would have looked elsewhere.

How will your kid be borrowing a fortune? Kids are only able to borrow around 5k a year. After that, it’s the parents borrowing.

+1. The FAFSA limit is $5500. Kids can’t take out loans because they have no collateral. It’s parents who must take out loans, refinance etc for undergrad

Wait- for real?

Federal student loan maximum = 5500 in year 1, 6500 year 2, 7500 year 3 and beyond. Maximum allowed = $31k
https://studentaid.gov/understand-aid/types/loans/subsidized-unsubsidized

There are private student loans that may be in the student's name but they need to be co-signed by a parent so it's still really the parent's loan.

How do people end up with so much debt then? Sorry if this is a stupid question.

Anonymous wrote:Hired a college counselor which in our case was mostly a waste; definitely should have paid by the hour rather than a package
Maybe undershot given all the hysteria about admissions. DC got in everywhere so far (high stats kid); maybe just a fluke.

examples?

Hired a college counselor which in our case was mostly a waste; definitely should have paid by the hour rather than a package
Maybe undershot given all the hysteria about admissions. DC got in everywhere so far (high stats kid); maybe just a fluke.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feel lucky, no regrets. We were given the advice to go tour/visit safeties first, which was excellent advice. (It helped that this kid was the type to go along with the plan--I know not all would). He got excited about getting into the safeties and that took the pressure off.

My kid had a good but not stellar GPA with a couple C's, mid 1400 SATs, and good EC's and got into some LACS we weren't expecting (he got in everywhere he applied, so maybe we undershot). We are surprised. I think being a boy has to help more than we thought it would.

I wonder this a bit with my DD too. She had a really rough junior year due to some health problems and ended up with half As, half Bs. But strong rigor and very high test scores. Now getting all As in mostly AP classes senior year. Her confidence really took a beating that year and by last summer she didn't want to apply to reachy schools and wanted to get away from the intense/competitive environment of her HS. She'll be going to a mid-range LAC that I think has a lot of great things for her but is definitely a different environment and it will be an adjustment. Through talking with other potential students there it's been eye opening to her how different other kids' HS experiences have been. From our interactions with the school I think she will get a plenty rigorous academic experience but with a more chill student body and I think that will be good for her but she's feeling a little apprehensive at this point. But, I'm sure she'd feel apprehensive about any choice right now, since that's her typical MO!

What is mid range? In terms of US News ranking

In the 70-80 range. She mainly applied to those lesser-known LACs with >50% acceptance rates.