Anonymous wrote:In our household, all kids are to be fully out my 23 including the kid with special needs. We’re not going to forgo being empty nesters, retiring, moving & traveling for any reason.

So you're just going to ship your child with SN off to a group home at 18? If so, you're a POS.

Our kids are in high school, but I have told my husband we are sticking with the "no girlfriends or boyfriends over except in common spaces" till they are like thirty or engaged.

I figure that's a good way to make them move out faster.

I WISH I could’ve had the option to live at home for free after college. But where my parents live, there are no job or educational opportunities worth living there for.

Lordy. Once again, I am happy to be Indian (American). I happened to move out when I was 18 but came back at 22 for 2 years. My younger siblings each stayed with my folks after college during med/grad school for 3-4 years saving. All of us are married, with PHD/MD degrees and 2-3 kids (and with a lot less debt because we all commuted from home for part of it). Our parents have their own home but it's understood their care will be shared between us siblings (all live in the DMV).

I just cannot imagine kicking out my kids (or my parents). I grew up with (both sets of) grandparents - this is normal in many parts of the world. Have sex in your bedroom. Noone cares what you cook. (And most of us actually like our mom's food anyway). What a messed up idea.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In our household, all kids are to be fully out my 23 including the kid with special needs. We’re not going to forgo being empty nesters, retiring, moving & traveling for any reason.

That could be illegal. You by law have to go through eviction process.

I don’t understand what one has to do with the other?

I would love to get a condo in South Carolina or Florida etc. and be a snowbird or travel and have a kid at home watching house.

23 is way too young? What about grad school? I myself left at 29 for good. I did move out from 22-27 but was doing MBA part time and lost roommate and moved home for a bit.

My younger sister was a “good girl” she moved out at 27 when she got married.

What about divorce, death, financial troubles?

What about thanksgiving, Xmas, bridal showers. My 82 year old MIL still does Xmas each year. We stay over.

When I married my mom said I could never move back and a few other things. I took her seriously and in 20 years maybe been back to her house and only briefly maybe a handful of times and we live very close. Think about what you say to your kids.

Anonymous wrote:In our household, all kids are to be fully out my 23 including the kid with special needs. We’re not going to forgo being empty nesters, retiring, moving & traveling for any reason.

Wow. That’s pretty terrible.

Anonymous wrote:In our household, all kids are to be fully out my 23 including the kid with special needs. We’re not going to forgo being empty nesters, retiring, moving & traveling for any reason.

That could be illegal. You by law have to go through eviction process.

I don’t understand what one has to do with the other?

I would love to get a condo in South Carolina or Florida etc. and be a snowbird or travel and have a kid at home watching house.

23 is way too young? What about grad school? I myself left at 29 for good. I did move out from 22-27 but was doing MBA part time and lost roommate and moved home for a bit.

My younger sister was a “good girl” she moved out at 27 when she got married.

What about divorce, death, financial troubles?

What about thanksgiving, Xmas, bridal showers. My 82 year old MIL still does Xmas each year. We stay over.

My grand aunt lived in a house she was literally born in for 104 years.

In our household, all kids are to be fully out my 23 including the kid with special needs. We’re not going to forgo being empty nesters, retiring, moving & traveling for any reason.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's interesting how cultural this is.

Those of you who don't mind your kids living with you into adulthood: don't you want to run around naked, have sex everywhere, cook whenever you want to and have friends/other couples over without your kids there?

We need someone to keep resupplying the lube.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our friends who were having this issue sold the family home once the youngest was in college, put everything in storage, and traveled for over a year. They then moved into a townhome and let the kids know they were welcome to visit but can't live with them anymore. From an outsiders perspective, it was well played!

I’d tell my parents to F*** off. They’d be extra pleased I’m sure at the grandkids they’d never be allowed to meet.

Your parents raised an entitled, narcissistic a$$hole. I’m serious.

Anonymous wrote:It's interesting how cultural this is.

Those of you who don't mind your kids living with you into adulthood: don't you want to run around naked, have sex everywhere, cook whenever you want to and have friends/other couples over without your kids there?

I have two adult kids at home (still early 20s)...

run around naked - no, this was never my thing, I keep my nudity to my bedroom/bathroom

have sex everywhere - they aren't home ALL day. So there's plenty of time for this, and other alone time activities.

cook whenever you want - have always done this

friends/other couples over without your kids there - I have over whomever I want. Again, most of the time the adult kids are working, out or otherwise preoccupied. They certainly aren't hanging out with me and their dad. They are entirely independent, aside from sleeping in their rooms. One works so much, with a schedule opposite of mine that I only see him once a week or so.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our friends who were having this issue sold the family home once the youngest was in college, put everything in storage, and traveled for over a year. They then moved into a townhome and let the kids know they were welcome to visit but can't live with them anymore. From an outsiders perspective, it was well played!

I’d tell my parents to F*** off. They’d be extra pleased I’m sure at the grandkids they’d never be allowed to meet.

So your love is conditional on your parents financially supporting you as an adult? And to stick it to your parents, you'd cutoff your kids from a relationship with their grandparents? This is super unhealthy. My parents didn't do anything for me financially after paying for my education and I still love them. And I try to tell them how grateful I am for everything they've done for me as often as possible, certainly every mother's day, father's day and birthday. And I love the relationship they have with my kids. I'm happy they are happy. You know?

If you would allow your child to be homeless rather than take them in, then you are a horrible parent.

American families are broken for a reason.

you can raise kids not to be homeless.