Anonymous
Post 02/27/2023 22:33     Subject: Re:50 year old singles
Anonymous wrote:A friend from college finally got married when he was about 56. In the 35 years since college he certainly slept with 300 women.


Does he have many STDs?
Anonymous
Post 02/27/2023 22:08     Subject: Re:50 year old singles
A friend from college finally got married when he was about 56. In the 35 years since college he certainly slept with 300 women.
Anonymous
Post 02/27/2023 21:22     Subject: Re:50 year old singles
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I will likely be one of these people.
I’m in therapy. My issue is I just don’t like anyone enough. The few that I did like, it didn’t work out situationally or they weren’t interested in anything serious at the time.

I talk to a therapist because I wondered if it was something about my sexuality. Am I ace? Demisexual? I don’t think so, because I have had sex that I really enjoyed, but I don’t enjoy sex for sex’s sake if I’m not 200% into someone. And I just have tons of hangups. The littlest thing will turn me completely off and make me never want to be intimate with a certain man again. It can be totally innocuous, like the sound of his voice or a phrase he uses or if he burps with food breath or something, or if he initiates sexual intimacy too early or too late, I just get immediately and irrevocably physically turned off. I want to not be so picky and I want to give different kinds of men a chance, but you can only date for so long before you realize that sex is just never going to happen because of this-or-that thing that makes you slam the brakes.

I suppose I could consider asexual men, but then I know I would never get sex even though I do actually want it, having had it and liked it, and I have never met an ace man that I was attracted to in any way.


My 38 yo friend sounds a lot like you, super sensitive to small things, not easily turned on, unless she is super in love.
She is like that princess and the pea. She may well end up single at 50. But I am now watching her date someone who can get her excited in bed though she is feeling like he is beneath her. I am really curios if she settles for him!


The princess and the pea… sounds just like me. If I want to have sex, everything has to be JUST perfect. Or I have to be madly in love. I haven’t been madly in love for a long, long time. And I’m trying to give men I date a fair chance, men that are kind and honest and at least good friend material. I’m trying to find something about a guy that I like enough to get me going or to let myself fall in love with him, but that takes SO long, and by that time he’s usually lost interest because I just won’t get intimate.


I am very curious about this phenomenon. I don’t even have a theory about its origins! My friend also has health related anxieties, I wonder if that’s somehow relevant.
Anonymous
Post 02/27/2023 21:16     Subject: 50 year old singles
My husbands sister is 51 and never married. She was always super popular in school, played sports, very extroverted and such a sweet, good hearted person. She always had a boyfriend and guys always said she was hot. She met her boyfriend when she was in grad school. During this time she became pregnant 2x and terminated both. But after they graduated they moved in together. She got a lucrative high-profile job and he made a good-enough living at his corporate job. She was a little more financially successful and bought a townhouse. They were happy-looking couple and we all joked about them acting like they were married. But About 10 years in he told her he could never marry her and they broke up. (Her story is that he said he loved her as a GF but not a wife).This was 20 years ago and he is now married with 3 kids living a great upper middle class life.

My SIL is even more financially successful, super extroverted has many close friends, And travels a lot. She meets and dates rich guys but no LTR.I think she would’ve made a good mom but she is a great auntie to my kids.
Anonymous
Post 02/27/2023 20:26     Subject: 50 year old singles
I kniw several people like you describe OP, and they aren't gay. In fact, all the formerly in the closet gay people I know got married and then divorced.

Some of staying single just depends on circumstances. If they have the same job, go to the same church and live in the same area their whole lives there are only so many dating prospects that only change if a new person enters the mix. Case in point: my older sister stayed single for a very long time, until she decided to move to DC and up end her life to see if that would help. It did, she found a better job and eventually a rich nice guy.
Anonymous
Post 02/27/2023 20:04     Subject: Re:50 year old singles
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I will likely be one of these people.
I’m in therapy. My issue is I just don’t like anyone enough. The few that I did like, it didn’t work out situationally or they weren’t interested in anything serious at the time.

I talk to a therapist because I wondered if it was something about my sexuality. Am I ace? Demisexual? I don’t think so, because I have had sex that I really enjoyed, but I don’t enjoy sex for sex’s sake if I’m not 200% into someone. And I just have tons of hangups. The littlest thing will turn me completely off and make me never want to be intimate with a certain man again. It can be totally innocuous, like the sound of his voice or a phrase he uses or if he burps with food breath or something, or if he initiates sexual intimacy too early or too late, I just get immediately and irrevocably physically turned off. I want to not be so picky and I want to give different kinds of men a chance, but you can only date for so long before you realize that sex is just never going to happen because of this-or-that thing that makes you slam the brakes.

I suppose I could consider asexual men, but then I know I would never get sex even though I do actually want it, having had it and liked it, and I have never met an ace man that I was attracted to in any way.


My 38 yo friend sounds a lot like you, super sensitive to small things, not easily turned on, unless she is super in love.
She is like that princess and the pea. She may well end up single at 50. But I am now watching her date someone who can get her excited in bed though she is feeling like he is beneath her. I am really curios if she settles for him!


The princess and the pea… sounds just like me. If I want to have sex, everything has to be JUST perfect. Or I have to be madly in love. I haven’t been madly in love for a long, long time. And I’m trying to give men I date a fair chance, men that are kind and honest and at least good friend material. I’m trying to find something about a guy that I like enough to get me going or to let myself fall in love with him, but that takes SO long, and by that time he’s usually lost interest because I just won’t get intimate.
Anonymous
Post 02/27/2023 19:28     Subject: Re:50 year old singles
They're female and unwilling to lower their standards just to be partnered.

Alternatively, they're male and nobody wants them.
Anonymous
Post 02/27/2023 18:19     Subject: 50 year old singles
I'm 50 and single with a child. I had tons of options when I was younger, but nothing worked out. I seemed to meet them when they weren't emotionally available, or they'd be nice, but not someone I could see myself with forever. I have a ton of longtime friends and good relationships with family; my relationships with men typically end amicably. Unfortunately at this age, the available pool of men is not great, so I know a number of women who are good catches but not taken. Most of the single men I know are single by choice.

Some of the the married people I know are *really* not all that, and some of those marriages are not something I'd want. It's not like some badge of honor just to be married. A happy marriage to someone great is an achievement, though.
Anonymous
Post 02/27/2023 18:16     Subject: 50 year old singles
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:50 year old men date 30 year old women, 50 year old women date 70 year old men


I am a 59 yo F dating a 48 yo M


Love it!

Won't even say my age and the young man I'm dating - DCUM won't believe haha
Anonymous
Post 02/27/2023 16:59     Subject: Re:50 year old singles
Anonymous wrote:I will likely be one of these people.
I’m in therapy. My issue is I just don’t like anyone enough. The few that I did like, it didn’t work out situationally or they weren’t interested in anything serious at the time.

I talk to a therapist because I wondered if it was something about my sexuality. Am I ace? Demisexual? I don’t think so, because I have had sex that I really enjoyed, but I don’t enjoy sex for sex’s sake if I’m not 200% into someone. And I just have tons of hangups. The littlest thing will turn me completely off and make me never want to be intimate with a certain man again. It can be totally innocuous, like the sound of his voice or a phrase he uses or if he burps with food breath or something, or if he initiates sexual intimacy too early or too late, I just get immediately and irrevocably physically turned off. I want to not be so picky and I want to give different kinds of men a chance, but you can only date for so long before you realize that sex is just never going to happen because of this-or-that thing that makes you slam the brakes.

I suppose I could consider asexual men, but then I know I would never get sex even though I do actually want it, having had it and liked it, and I have never met an ace man that I was attracted to in any way.


My 38 yo friend sounds a lot like you, super sensitive to small things, not easily turned on, unless she is super in love.
She is like that princess and the pea. She may well end up single at 50. But I am now watching her date someone who can get her excited in bed though she is feeling like he is beneath her. I am really curios if she settles for him!
Anonymous
Post 02/27/2023 15:46     Subject: 50 year old singles
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:50 year old men date 30 year old women, 50 year old women date 70 year old men


I am a 59 yo F dating a 48 yo M


But for what purpose / to what end. Sex isn’t hard to find. LTRs are.


Does it matter? This was in response to the assertion that 50 yr old women have to date men in their 70s.
Anonymous
Post 02/27/2023 15:14     Subject: 50 year old singles
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:50 year old men date 30 year old women, 50 year old women date 70 year old men


I am a 59 yo F dating a 48 yo M


But for what purpose / to what end. Sex isn’t hard to find. LTRs are.
Anonymous
Post 02/27/2023 14:46     Subject: Re:50 year old singles
Anonymous wrote:I will likely be one of these people.
I’m in therapy. My issue is I just don’t like anyone enough. The few that I did like, it didn’t work out situationally or they weren’t interested in anything serious at the time.

I talk to a therapist because I wondered if it was something about my sexuality. Am I ace? Demisexual? I don’t think so, because I have had sex that I really enjoyed, but I don’t enjoy sex for sex’s sake if I’m not 200% into someone. And I just have tons of hangups. The littlest thing will turn me completely off and make me never want to be intimate with a certain man again. It can be totally innocuous, like the sound of his voice or a phrase he uses or if he burps with food breath or something, or if he initiates sexual intimacy too early or too late, I just get immediately and irrevocably physically turned off. I want to not be so picky and I want to give different kinds of men a chance, but you can only date for so long before you realize that sex is just never going to happen because of this-or-that thing that makes you slam the brakes.

I suppose I could consider asexual men, but then I know I would never get sex even though I do actually want it, having had it and liked it, and I have never met an ace man that I was attracted to in any way.


Do you accept faults in yourself or get down by them? I think most people find things annoying but kind of accept that they have annoying traits themselves and therefore the vulnerability each person shares is kind of attractive in its own way. Also as I've grown I've just noticed that men have fewer things they are good at but are really good at them and women are more well rounded with behavior regulation and skillsets. This is a generalization of course.
Anonymous
Post 02/27/2023 14:32     Subject: Re:50 year old singles
I will likely be one of these people.
I’m in therapy. My issue is I just don’t like anyone enough. The few that I did like, it didn’t work out situationally or they weren’t interested in anything serious at the time.

I talk to a therapist because I wondered if it was something about my sexuality. Am I ace? Demisexual? I don’t think so, because I have had sex that I really enjoyed, but I don’t enjoy sex for sex’s sake if I’m not 200% into someone. And I just have tons of hangups. The littlest thing will turn me completely off and make me never want to be intimate with a certain man again. It can be totally innocuous, like the sound of his voice or a phrase he uses or if he burps with food breath or something, or if he initiates sexual intimacy too early or too late, I just get immediately and irrevocably physically turned off. I want to not be so picky and I want to give different kinds of men a chance, but you can only date for so long before you realize that sex is just never going to happen because of this-or-that thing that makes you slam the brakes.

I suppose I could consider asexual men, but then I know I would never get sex even though I do actually want it, having had it and liked it, and I have never met an ace man that I was attracted to in any way.
Anonymous
Post 02/27/2023 14:00     Subject: 50 year old singles
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:50 year old men date 30 year old women, 50 year old women date 70 year old men


I’m a 50 year old woman and this is proving sadly true for me. That’s who’s showing up interested and they want a companion and discounted future caregiver with no plans for who cares for me after they’re gone.


No older men and women never plan or think they will need care.