Anonymous wrote: High school coaches basically own your family during the season in a way that no other activity seems to do.

FIFY

Anonymous wrote:DD12 has dabbled in basketball, ballet, gymnastics, golf, soccer, and volleyball, and despite our encouragement she just isn’t a sporty girl.

Do they eventually find their “thing”? I’ve accepted that it probably won’t be a sport for DD, and that’s fine. But do some kids just never find a niche?

My kids love e-sports. Does that count?

HS student here. I tried a couple different sports, never got into any of them. Even now, I'm not a member of any super exclusive cliques/niches but I'm passionate about music and an amateur naturalist and I've found plenty of joy and friends that way.

Colleges like sports even if it isn't a heavy hitter competitive one- it's the commitment and progression of the activity. Find something.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are SO MANY other things besides sports, and yes, most kids find interests and hobbies that they enjoy and are good at even if they aren't sports. All of the performing and visual arts, design, languages, food and cooking, arts and crafts, nature, writing (journalism, creative writing), volunteering and community involvement, leadership roles at school or in the community, entrepreneurship, etc., etc., etc.

We are so weird in this country about sports.

DCUM parents are insane about sports. They’ve convinced themselves that you can’t learn to work together with others or develop “grit”without organized sports, and they’ve also convinced themselves that the only options are organized sports or being 350 pounds sitting on the sofa stuffing Oreos in your face all day. In total nonsense, of course. Guess they have to tell themselves something to justify the ridiculous “travel” sport fees.

This is a tad condescending IMO. Maybe they haven’t “convinced themselves” as you allege but just see the benefits and are happy about it for them. Just because you aren’t into sports doesn’t mean other people are confused - they just have different interests than you.

Anonymous wrote:We say we have a mathelete not an athlete.

Oh god

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP.

America is a sports obsessed culture. It's just facts. Tens of millions won't be sitting down on Feb 12 to watch the National Symphony Orchestra on TV. Sports give some social status and they are a common language and are easy to talk about for many people. So I don't think it's that people can't conceive of different things, but I do think sports and talking about and asking about it tends to drown out most other things and people just default to it and yes, it can get tiresome if it's not your thing. Both of my kids have been asked countless times by well meaning adults just trying to make conversation...what sport do you play? No one has ever asked them what instrument they play.

It helps to be able to play both sports and music. Sports help make kids' lives easier in HS and music help make their lives easier in college and in life. I always say to my kids: Play guitar very well and you will have an amazing college experience with the opposite sex, as I did.

So bizarre.

Yeah, what an absolutely weird thing to say.

How so?

It is weird. Basically PP is saying that if you can play the guitar you will get laid a lot in college.

The previous PP simply pointed out the obvious that if you play guitar well, you get laid a lot in college. How is that not true?

It’s odd to want that for your son.

Nobody wants that for their kid but that is the reality in college and you need to accept that fact. To say otherwise is to kid yourself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP.

America is a sports obsessed culture. It's just facts. Tens of millions won't be sitting down on Feb 12 to watch the National Symphony Orchestra on TV. Sports give some social status and they are a common language and are easy to talk about for many people. So I don't think it's that people can't conceive of different things, but I do think sports and talking about and asking about it tends to drown out most other things and people just default to it and yes, it can get tiresome if it's not your thing. Both of my kids have been asked countless times by well meaning adults just trying to make conversation...what sport do you play? No one has ever asked them what instrument they play.

It helps to be able to play both sports and music. Sports help make kids' lives easier in HS and music help make their lives easier in college and in life. I always say to my kids: Play guitar very well and you will have an amazing college experience with the opposite sex, as I did.

So bizarre.

Yeah, what an absolutely weird thing to say.

How so?

It is weird. Basically PP is saying that if you can play the guitar you will get laid a lot in college.

The previous PP simply pointed out the obvious that if you play guitar well, you get laid a lot in college. How is that not true?

It’s odd to want that for your son.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP.

America is a sports obsessed culture. It's just facts. Tens of millions won't be sitting down on Feb 12 to watch the National Symphony Orchestra on TV. Sports give some social status and they are a common language and are easy to talk about for many people. So I don't think it's that people can't conceive of different things, but I do think sports and talking about and asking about it tends to drown out most other things and people just default to it and yes, it can get tiresome if it's not your thing. Both of my kids have been asked countless times by well meaning adults just trying to make conversation...what sport do you play? No one has ever asked them what instrument they play.

It helps to be able to play both sports and music. Sports help make kids' lives easier in HS and music help make their lives easier in college and in life. I always say to my kids: Play guitar very well and you will have an amazing college experience with the opposite sex, as I did.

So bizarre.

Yeah, what an absolutely weird thing to say.

How so?

It is weird. Basically PP is saying that if you can play the guitar you will get laid a lot in college.

The previous PP simply pointed out the obvious that if you play guitar well, you get laid a lot in college. How is that not true?

Anonymous wrote:DD12 has dabbled in basketball, ballet, gymnastics, golf, soccer, and volleyball, and despite our encouragement she just isn’t a sporty girl.

Do they eventually find their “thing”? I’ve accepted that it probably won’t be a sport for DD, and that’s fine. But do some kids just never find a niche?

There are literally so many individual or team sports, that’s great you’ve tried a bunch but maybe step back and think of her strengths and see if anything matches up.
Softball is different than running team sport or fighting ppl for the ball
Fencing and swimming, or shot put/discuss for strong upper body strength
Rowing for people who like repetition, wake up early, ok balance
Squash over tennis since is a slower game

Save the field and court team sports for highly coordinated kids who can read a play and fight for the ball.

And as always, many girls try to stick with a sport because they fit with the personalities and culture of the team. Find a good group of girls. Likewise, leave the bad groups, find another program or switch.

My eldest daughter not interested in participating in sports her thing is more artsy so dance, theater, singing but she is team manager for a sports that her sibling does.

My kid is into obsessing over Taylor Swift, reading YA novels and for now, likes being on a robotics team because their friends are too. They are happy and healthy. To us, that is what matters. I see how stressed out the kids and parents are who are in travel soccer, ballet, Kumon and play an instrument. Why doesn’t everyone just calm the F down?

We say we have a mathelete not an athlete.

Anonymous wrote:Lol at kids needing a passion. My passion as a kid, being a kid and having fun.

Yes whats up with all this pressure? My 3rd grader asked me one day ‘what am i good at?’ Because in class they were doing a writing assignment and had to write about the stuff they excel at!! And he was like I don’t excel at anything and I don’t think that I am really good at anything. That’s just heartbreaking. He is 8. He does activities like basketball and martial arts but he hates basketball games. He like to play for fun not competitively. He is good but not great. Yet he feels less than because other kids play more competitively on travel teams. Is the point of finding something you enjoy just to get more competitive at it? Just to pursue it like crazy? I don’t think so. I am happy my kid enjoys playing basketball with friends and by himself. Not everything has to be competitive and pursued to the extent of draining you out..

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP.

America is a sports obsessed culture. It's just facts. Tens of millions won't be sitting down on Feb 12 to watch the National Symphony Orchestra on TV. Sports give some social status and they are a common language and are easy to talk about for many people. So I don't think it's that people can't conceive of different things, but I do think sports and talking about and asking about it tends to drown out most other things and people just default to it and yes, it can get tiresome if it's not your thing. Both of my kids have been asked countless times by well meaning adults just trying to make conversation...what sport do you play? No one has ever asked them what instrument they play.

It helps to be able to play both sports and music. Sports help make kids' lives easier in HS and music help make their lives easier in college and in life. I always say to my kids: Play guitar very well and you will have an amazing college experience with the opposite sex, as I did.

So bizarre.

Yeah, what an absolutely weird thing to say.

How so?

Probably the PP meant in terms of being popular with others.