I speak mainly from experience reading friends’ essays for business school, not undergrad. I attended a top 5 undergrad and also a top MBA. During my MBA, I had several friends and former coworkers (maybe a dozen people), all extremely smart people who went to fantastic colleges, ask me to read their essays since I had been successful. I remember being shocked - literally shocked- by how boring they all were. I’m a decent-to-strong writer at best, def not a great one, but the admissions director at my b-school found me and pulled me aside at orientation to tell me that she really loved my essay. I think what was missing from all my friends’ essays was authenticity. You can get all the editing you want from consultants and parents but if they kid has nothing original they truly want to say, that shines through. I think maybe 10% of essays are memorable. Maybe less.

I’d love to read some of these essays. I write non-fiction legal & technical stuff for a living and have zero creativity. My poor kids.

Anonymous wrote:Objectively for my DD. She wrote about being there for the Arab spring in Egypt and about barricades, shootings, crowds breaking in.
My friend's son, who was there too, choose to write about his love for video games.

Did your DD go to college some time ago, because my current college applicant was only 6 yo during the Arab Spring and can barely remember anything about where we lived, despite the frequent tire fires, protests and tear gas.

I rewrote my kids, heavily. We took it to an essay consultant who said it was "fantastic" and "incredibly impressive" (thank you!). Paired with near perfect quant. scores, we felt good going into the admission season. It made no difference - was denied at all the elites.

Anonymous wrote:Parents and grandparents react emotionally to the essays of their college applicant.

I think that’s the wrong measure. They know the kid and thus fill in all kinds of blanks as they read. The admissions officer, in contrast, knows zero about your kid; they are a total blank slate so the essay has to fully stand on its own and do it’s job.

Convince me that you have a basis on which to make these claims:

"My kids’ essays were very average and were still very average after I edited them - substantially, for one or two of the kids. It made no difference. They all got into top ranked colleges because they had the goods that really matter."

I knew I shouldn’t have read this thread because it was going to nauseate me. And it has.

Your kids didn’t get into college because of or in spite of their essays, and none of you - even those of you who claim to write stuff that the rest of us are reading - in an admissions expert so you don’t know squat regardless of what your profession is.

My kids’ essays were very average and were still very average after I edited them - substantially, for one or two of the kids. It made no difference. They all got into top ranked colleges because they had the goods that really matter.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because I wrote them

If there was a like button on dcum, this would be the most liked comment.

Yes!
My friend slipped up and said she wrote her daughter's essay and then tried to backtrack.

I read my kids essays and they were good (I am an appellate lawyer so write for a living). I kept reminding them that the key point is to write something that makes the AOs really want you at their university. Too many kids lose sight of the real objective and write about topics that don't advance that goal.

As an appellate lawyer, you should frame your issue with more precision. What makes admission officers "really want you at their university" ?

I think admission officers favor applicants that they are convinced will become involved in some activity offered or valued at their university. So the essay topic should make that prospect clear: an interest in a less popular department or major (i.e. Classics); a likely club captain or President; a likely director of student theatre productions; a likely writer or editor for the campus newspaper, etc. Essay should make it clear that you are passionate about something that will bring a benefit to the university community.

I should add that I don't think the above is the only formula for a good essay. There are surely many. But the whole point of the application essay is to convince the AO that you belong as a member of the University community. If your essay makes it all the easier for the AO to picture you fitting into a needed student role, position, major, club, team, etc. then you have significantly advanced your case for admission.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because I wrote them

If there was a like button on dcum, this would be the most liked comment.

Yes!
My friend slipped up and said she wrote her daughter's essay and then tried to backtrack.

I read my kids essays and they were good (I am an appellate lawyer so write for a living). I kept reminding them that the key point is to write something that makes the AOs really want you at their university. Too many kids lose sight of the real objective and write about topics that don't advance that goal.

As an appellate lawyer, you should frame your issue with more precision. What makes admission officers "really want you at their university" ?

I think admission officers favor applicants that they are convinced will become involved in some activity offered or valued at their university. So the essay topic should make that prospect clear: an interest in a less popular department or major (i.e. Classics); a likely club captain or President; a likely director of student theatre productions; a likely writer or editor for the campus newspaper, etc. Essay should make it clear that you are passionate about something that will bring a benefit to the university community.

Barf. Thank goodness they don't only look for community involvement. Otherwise most kids would never get in anywhere!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because I wrote them

If there was a like button on dcum, this would be the most liked comment.

Yes!
My friend slipped up and said she wrote her daughter's essay and then tried to backtrack.

I read my kids essays and they were good (I am an appellate lawyer so write for a living). I kept reminding them that the key point is to write something that makes the AOs really want you at their university. Too many kids lose sight of the real objective and write about topics that don't advance that goal.

As an appellate lawyer, you should frame your issue with more precision. What makes admission officers "really want you at their university" ?

I think admission officers favor applicants that they are convinced will become involved in some activity offered or valued at their university. So the essay topic should make that prospect clear: an interest in a less popular department or major (i.e. Classics); a likely club captain or President; a likely director of student theatre productions; a likely writer or editor for the campus newspaper, etc. Essay should make it clear that you are passionate about something that will bring a benefit to the university community.

Because it was written by chatGPT.

I'm an editor and writer of essays/non-fiction, so I'm pretty good at recognizing good personal essays. Both my kids are great writers, but I wouldn't say that either of their essays were "amazing."

DS1's essay was extremely well written, and the topic was interesting and likely fairly unique. But I would not call it "compelling"--it was lighter and more tongue in cheek. It did give a good sense of his humor and ability think critically.

DS2's essay was reasonably well written, but definitely less sophisticated than DS1's. No one would think that his parent wrote it. Still, DS2 has a clever way with words, and there were some turns of phrases in it that were really fine. And the subject matter was more personal, as it described his experience with a chronic illness.

Neither essay made me cry, although DS2's essay did make me a little sad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an editor at a very well-known publication. You've probably read things I've worked on. My son's essay was objectively very good. It wasn't a function of grammar and spelling, though; the essay was good because of topic selection, focus and impact. A stranger could read that essay, find it compelling and want to meet the kid who wrote it. Which, I guess, it what happened because he got into his target school.

My son's essay was not perfect (I did not see it before it went in; I would have made some edits!) but it was clever and thoughtful and unique and he is clearly a good writer. I write for a living and think I can recognize a good essay. He too got in ED to a top school.

Again, the issue is what are college admissions officers seeking in an essay. Merely stating that an essay is well written or interesting is too broad. Competent writing is expected.

What kind of response are you expecting here?

Most of the essays I read online that are touted as "excellent essays" are pretty bad in my opinion. The writing is so flowery and the kids sound annoying to me...like kids trying to sound smart. Nobody talks like that in real life. I like essays that sound real and down-to-earth. Of course, they should be well-written, but they should sound how a kid would actually speak.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because I wrote them

Ha! Ha! Me too!

This just makes me mad for my kid and all the others who actually wrote there own admissions essay.

Not really - parents sometimes do a worse job. Relax.