Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 07:28     Subject: Date has no online presence
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you the same op as the video dates thread



Why would that matter? I do video dates sometimes, this guy said he wasn't comfortable with a video date. He was more attractive in real life than on photos. Btw I had a video date with someone else just recently who really liked me. He immediately offered his actual phone number, job place, position, connect on LinkedIn. Name matched the number and location on google, he is an involved dad. I liked that openness, and although he's not as tall/hot, he is more educated, has well established career and better mannered.

Men don't realize they also have a competition for female attention and we will drop out if they try to install privacy locks on everything about them online. We live in modern world: it's not like I expect everyone to twit or Facebook but something should come up about a person when you google IMHO.

This also comes from my experience in hospitality business; when you don't check an ID and someone's name doesn't match the phone number on google it ends up in 90% cases with credit card fraud.

I am not a stalker (god forbid never call men first, or text them first). But ultimate purpose of dating is to find a sexual and hopefully life partner, and I want that search to be transparent.


I am a woman but entirely different from you. No issue with texting guys first at all and have zero need to do video calls or for them to have an online presence. If those are things that are important to you, then make that clear. Just put in your profile that you only date men who have an extensive online presence and who will do video calls with you before dating. The guy doesn't need to compete for your attention. He is just a guy looking for a compatible partner and that isn't you so move on.


+1. And please include in your profile that you’re willing to call a man’s workplace after one date to verify his employment. They should know what they’re getting into when they contact you.


+2. Don’t forget to include that they will need to verify ALL sources of income too
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 07:17     Subject: Date has no online presence
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you the same op as the video dates thread



Why would that matter? I do video dates sometimes, this guy said he wasn't comfortable with a video date. He was more attractive in real life than on photos. Btw I had a video date with someone else just recently who really liked me. He immediately offered his actual phone number, job place, position, connect on LinkedIn. Name matched the number and location on google, he is an involved dad. I liked that openness, and although he's not as tall/hot, he is more educated, has well established career and better mannered.

Men don't realize they also have a competition for female attention and we will drop out if they try to install privacy locks on everything about them online. We live in modern world: it's not like I expect everyone to twit or Facebook but something should come up about a person when you google IMHO.

This also comes from my experience in hospitality business; when you don't check an ID and someone's name doesn't match the phone number on google it ends up in 90% cases with credit card fraud.

I am not a stalker (god forbid never call men first, or text them first). But ultimate purpose of dating is to find a sexual and hopefully life partner, and I want that search to be transparent.


I am a woman but entirely different from you. No issue with texting guys first at all and have zero need to do video calls or for them to have an online presence. If those are things that are important to you, then make that clear. Just put in your profile that you only date men who have an extensive online presence and who will do video calls with you before dating. The guy doesn't need to compete for your attention. He is just a guy looking for a compatible partner and that isn't you so move on.


+1. And please include in your profile that you’re willing to call a man’s workplace after one date to verify his employment. They should know what they’re getting into when they contact you.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 07:11     Subject: Date has no online presence
I spent some time wiping my internet presence. I didn’t hire anyone. I’m not a criminal or shady either. It wasn’t work related. I was only concerned about my privacy as it seemed like my info had been sold multiple times. I’m sure it will happen again. Also, maybe he has a google number he gave you. I mean first date, he doesn’t owe you anything at all. Whatever he’s doing seems to be working filtering out the crazies doesn’t it?
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 07:01     Subject: Re:Date has no online presence
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This would not be the reason I didn’t go on a 2nd date with someone. I work with a lot of police officers and they use fake names for social media to protect themselves and their families.


But how would I develop this relationship with someone who I don't really know? He did attempt to hug me so I presume kissing would be expected soon. Shall I raise this issue at the dinner, or counter propose something less formal ?


OMG


This is what dating is for. Please cancel. You’re not ready.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 06:52     Subject: Date has no online presence
Anonymous wrote:Another psycho DCUM cyber stalker raises her head. 🙄

My parents were really on to something when they gave me a common first name to go along with my common last name.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 01:09     Subject: Re:Date has no online presence
It seems that some people have lost the ability to detect human character traits with the advent of social media. Whatever happened to instinct, trusting your gut - the kind of stuff that comes with IRL interactions?
Here's what social media can't tell you - charisma, humor, follow-thru capacity, family dysfunction, all the soft skill and red flag stuff.
I personally don't do social media except linkedin and thankfully I have an extremely common name. I was forced onto facebook by my children's PTAs and then Instagram by their sports teams.
My first introduction to facebook was another mom from long ago. Her page had inspirational quotes and images of herself like the stuff a suburbanite might buy at a mall store selling Bob Ross prints. I was embarassed for her and from then on thought of facebook as self promotional BS. I also didn't want to be her friend and stayed away from her.

If anybody knew my Ebay handle, they'd know that I am a 100% positive review seller of my children's outgrown stuff. That's about the only online feedback I get.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 00:45     Subject: Re:Date has no online presence
None of you have ever had that "morning after" moment when you realize that you've boned all night but don't know each other's last names so you have breakfast and tell each other a bit more about yourselves and then go back to bed? No wonder you all hate dating. Your instincts will keep you a lot safer than access to someone's LinkedIn account.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 00:44     Subject: Date has no online presence
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you the same op as the video dates thread



Why would that matter? I do video dates sometimes, this guy said he wasn't comfortable with a video date. He was more attractive in real life than on photos. Btw I had a video date with someone else just recently who really liked me. He immediately offered his actual phone number, job place, position, connect on LinkedIn. Name matched the number and location on google, he is an involved dad. I liked that openness, and although he's not as tall/hot, he is more educated, has well established career and better mannered.

Men don't realize they also have a competition for female attention and we will drop out if they try to install privacy locks on everything about them online. We live in modern world: it's not like I expect everyone to twit or Facebook but something should come up about a person when you google IMHO.

This also comes from my experience in hospitality business; when you don't check an ID and someone's name doesn't match the phone number on google it ends up in 90% cases with credit card fraud.

I am not a stalker (god forbid never call men first, or text them first). But ultimate purpose of dating is to find a sexual and hopefully life partner, and I want that search to be transparent.


I am a woman but entirely different from you. No issue with texting guys first at all and have zero need to do video calls or for them to have an online presence. If those are things that are important to you, then make that clear. Just put in your profile that you only date men who have an extensive online presence and who will do video calls with you before dating. The guy doesn't need to compete for your attention. He is just a guy looking for a compatible partner and that isn't you so move on.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 00:41     Subject: Date has no online presence
I think the idea that getting to know someone means online research vs meeting and talking to them is bizarre.

You can get to know him in person! You would be dating the person, not an online version of them.

I have a very minimal online presence. If someone said they wouldn't date me because of that, I would breathe a sigh of relief!
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 00:34     Subject: Re:Date has no online presence
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This would not be the reason I didn’t go on a 2nd date with someone. I work with a lot of police officers and they use fake names for social media to protect themselves and their families.


But how would I develop this relationship with someone who I don't really know? He did attempt to hug me so I presume kissing would be expected soon. Shall I raise this issue at the dinner, or counter propose something less formal ?


OMG


Seriously, am I not getting something and a nutcase myself? I am recently divorced after a long marriage, and never dated in the US. Is that normal to go to a guy's house if, lets say, we like each other but I am unsure about his identity? Literally, I would check his house address/name match the morning after?

No, you do not go to his house.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 00:23     Subject: Date has no online presence
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you the same op as the video dates thread



Why would that matter? I do video dates sometimes, this guy said he wasn't comfortable with a video date. He was more attractive in real life than on photos. Btw I had a video date with someone else just recently who really liked me. He immediately offered his actual phone number, job place, position, connect on LinkedIn. Name matched the number and location on google, he is an involved dad. I liked that openness, and although he's not as tall/hot, he is more educated, has well established career and better mannered.

Men don't realize they also have a competition for female attention and we will drop out if they try to install privacy locks on everything about them online. We live in modern world: it's not like I expect everyone to twit or Facebook but something should come up about a person when you google IMHO.

This also comes from my experience in hospitality business; when you don't check an ID and someone's name doesn't match the phone number on google it ends up in 90% cases with credit card fraud.

I am not a stalker (god forbid never call men first, or text them first). But ultimate purpose of dating is to find a sexual and hopefully life partner, and I want that search to be transparent.




Well, you obviously feel that this information should be easily accessible to the public or that the man who is the subject of this thread should give it to you, and he hasn't. You have multiple men competing for your attention and giving you all of this information, including one who is more educated, better mannered, and has a well established career. Seems to me like you should just forget about this man who you find suspicious and focus on all the better, un-shady ones calling and texting you.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2023 23:21     Subject: Re:Date has no online presence
Anonymous wrote:I'm a man. I have been doing OLD for 10 years. I have yet to google a woman's name or phone number.

I didn't have Facebook until a few years ago, and I never use it. No LinkedIn until this past year. No Twitter, no SnapChat. None of my guy friends play around with social media, either.


This is a safety issue for women that guys don't really have to think about.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2023 22:55     Subject: Date has no online presence
Anonymous wrote:Are you the same op as the video dates thread



Why would that matter? I do video dates sometimes, this guy said he wasn't comfortable with a video date. He was more attractive in real life than on photos. Btw I had a video date with someone else just recently who really liked me. He immediately offered his actual phone number, job place, position, connect on LinkedIn. Name matched the number and location on google, he is an involved dad. I liked that openness, and although he's not as tall/hot, he is more educated, has well established career and better mannered.

Men don't realize they also have a competition for female attention and we will drop out if they try to install privacy locks on everything about them online. We live in modern world: it's not like I expect everyone to twit or Facebook but something should come up about a person when you google IMHO.

This also comes from my experience in hospitality business; when you don't check an ID and someone's name doesn't match the phone number on google it ends up in 90% cases with credit card fraud.

I am not a stalker (god forbid never call men first, or text them first). But ultimate purpose of dating is to find a sexual and hopefully life partner, and I want that search to be transparent.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2023 22:37     Subject: Date has no online presence
Are you the same op as the video dates thread
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2023 22:23     Subject: Re:Date has no online presence
Anonymous wrote:I'm a man. I have been doing OLD for 10 years. I have yet to google a woman's name or phone number.

I didn't have Facebook until a few years ago, and I never use it. No LinkedIn until this past year. No Twitter, no SnapChat. None of my guy friends play around with social media, either.


But you do have Facebook and LinkedIn so something would come up for you in google