Anonymous
Post 02/06/2023 13:59     Subject: Unwanted guests and pushy exDH
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We had DS bar mitzvah, we had a party, most everyone had a good time. ExDH did not bring a gift, did not say a toast, barely said a word to DS, nothing. His wife kept looking at her phone. ExILs texted me later that they were embarrassed for them.

All I can say is that when it's time for DS to graduate HS, college, get married - if he refuses to invite his father, I will completely understand.


Dad does not need to bring a gift. You sound terrible. You are alienating them.


are you kidding me? You go to a kid's party and not bring a gift? Guess who the terrible one is here.
Anonymous
Post 02/06/2023 13:27     Subject: Unwanted guests and pushy exDH
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We had DS bar mitzvah, we had a party, most everyone had a good time. ExDH did not bring a gift, did not say a toast, barely said a word to DS, nothing. His wife kept looking at her phone. ExILs texted me later that they were embarrassed for them.

All I can say is that when it's time for DS to graduate HS, college, get married - if he refuses to invite his father, I will completely understand.


Please do not pit your kid aganist his dad.

I get it he's a shit however you stay quiet do not say one disparaging word about him to your kid. They will resent you later and it will be awful.


Trust me, I did not utter a sound. I was overly friendly to them, DS tried to engage with them but nothing. It was DS who said it later on "why bother having Dad over to my events?"


Trust me, your kid knows you hate their dad and will do anything to please you. Your nonverbal is enough.
Anonymous
Post 02/06/2023 13:26     Subject: Unwanted guests and pushy exDH
Anonymous wrote:We had DS bar mitzvah, we had a party, most everyone had a good time. ExDH did not bring a gift, did not say a toast, barely said a word to DS, nothing. His wife kept looking at her phone. ExILs texted me later that they were embarrassed for them.

All I can say is that when it's time for DS to graduate HS, college, get married - if he refuses to invite his father, I will completely understand.


Dad does not need to bring a gift. You sound terrible. You are alienating them.
Anonymous
Post 02/06/2023 12:42     Subject: Unwanted guests and pushy exDH
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We had DS bar mitzvah, we had a party, most everyone had a good time. ExDH did not bring a gift, did not say a toast, barely said a word to DS, nothing. His wife kept looking at her phone. ExILs texted me later that they were embarrassed for them.

All I can say is that when it's time for DS to graduate HS, college, get married - if he refuses to invite his father, I will completely understand.


Please do not pit your kid aganist his dad.

I get it he's a shit however you stay quiet do not say one disparaging word about him to your kid. They will resent you later and it will be awful.


Trust me, I did not utter a sound. I was overly friendly to them, DS tried to engage with them but nothing. It was DS who said it later on "why bother having Dad over to my events?"
Anonymous
Post 02/06/2023 10:11     Subject: Unwanted guests and pushy exDH
Anonymous wrote:We had DS bar mitzvah, we had a party, most everyone had a good time. ExDH did not bring a gift, did not say a toast, barely said a word to DS, nothing. His wife kept looking at her phone. ExILs texted me later that they were embarrassed for them.

All I can say is that when it's time for DS to graduate HS, college, get married - if he refuses to invite his father, I will completely understand.


Please do not pit your kid aganist his dad.

I get it he's a shit however you stay quiet do not say one disparaging word about him to your kid. They will resent you later and it will be awful.
Anonymous
Post 02/06/2023 10:05     Subject: Unwanted guests and pushy exDH
We had DS bar mitzvah, we had a party, most everyone had a good time. ExDH did not bring a gift, did not say a toast, barely said a word to DS, nothing. His wife kept looking at her phone. ExILs texted me later that they were embarrassed for them.

All I can say is that when it's time for DS to graduate HS, college, get married - if he refuses to invite his father, I will completely understand.
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2023 22:45     Subject: Unwanted guests and pushy exDH
Anonymous wrote:Op update: exDH refused to pay for these people and as a result it’ll be just hi and his wife. Of course his siblings and parents are coming. Btw they all said he was being an idiot and that I was right to stand my ground.


What a freeloader.
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2023 22:17     Subject: Unwanted guests and pushy exDH
Anonymous wrote:Op update: exDH refused to pay for these people and as a result it’ll be just hi and his wife. Of course his siblings and parents are coming. Btw they all said he was being an idiot and that I was right to stand my ground.


You were right to stand your ground, good for you. Glad the party was people your son knows and loves, from both sides. Mazel tov
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2023 16:57     Subject: Unwanted guests and pushy exDH
Anonymous wrote:Have you asked your son’s opinion?

About randoms his dad wants to bring?
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2023 14:29     Subject: Unwanted guests and pushy exDH
Have you asked your son’s opinion?
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2023 14:17     Subject: Unwanted guests and pushy exDH
Anonymous wrote:I'm glad it worked out, OP. Guess it wasn't so important to the ex for them to attend.



+100

Glad it worked out. If it had been important to xDH he would have paid (and also requested earlier). It's not up to you to entertain his random in-laws that your son has never met!
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2023 13:50     Subject: Unwanted guests and pushy exDH
Anonymous wrote:I would say, "If you want to bring guests it is $X per guest paid in advance, here's my venmo. Any unpaid guests will not be allowed in the venue."


That's precisely what I said, about the Venmo. He was not having it.
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2023 19:16     Subject: Unwanted guests and pushy exDH
I'm glad it worked out, OP. Guess it wasn't so important to the ex for them to attend.
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2023 14:45     Subject: Unwanted guests and pushy exDH
I would say, "If you want to bring guests it is $X per guest paid in advance, here's my venmo. Any unpaid guests will not be allowed in the venue."
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2023 14:42     Subject: Unwanted guests and pushy exDH
Anonymous wrote:Op update: exDH refused to pay for these people and as a result it’ll be just hi and his wife. Of course his siblings and parents are coming. Btw they all said he was being an idiot and that I was right to stand my ground.


You sound charming.