Anonymous
Post 01/21/2023 09:51     Subject: DC (22) refuses relationship with close relative
OP, it’s fair for you to mange the tone in your home. Everyone must say hello to anyone in the room, share common resources, etc.

You can’t manage attendance of birthday pays, acceptance of gifts, etc.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2023 19:35     Subject: DC (22) refuses relationship with close relative
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would wonder why you have allowed all this chaos into your house: an elderly relative who sounds irritating and a toddler who is not yours?

As someone who also had to grow up with an immature elderly relative living with us during my teenage and college years, it's really no picnic for your adult child OP. I left as soon as possible after graduating from college and never came back.

Your adult child is not obligated to have a relationship with the elderly relative if they don't want to; the elderly relative also needs to understand this, but I assume they will not.

I would advise you not to choose the elderly relative over your adult child, but it looks like you may have already done so.


The relative is also 22 not elderly


OP has not stated the age of the relative.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2023 14:12     Subject: DC (22) refuses relationship with close relative
Anonymous wrote:I would wonder why you have allowed all this chaos into your house: an elderly relative who sounds irritating and a toddler who is not yours?

As someone who also had to grow up with an immature elderly relative living with us during my teenage and college years, it's really no picnic for your adult child OP. I left as soon as possible after graduating from college and never came back.

Your adult child is not obligated to have a relationship with the elderly relative if they don't want to; the elderly relative also needs to understand this, but I assume they will not.

I would advise you not to choose the elderly relative over your adult child, but it looks like you may have already done so.


The relative is also 22 not elderly
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2023 14:05     Subject: DC (22) refuses relationship with close relative
I would wonder why you have allowed all this chaos into your house: an elderly relative who sounds irritating and a toddler who is not yours?

As someone who also had to grow up with an immature elderly relative living with us during my teenage and college years, it's really no picnic for your adult child OP. I left as soon as possible after graduating from college and never came back.

Your adult child is not obligated to have a relationship with the elderly relative if they don't want to; the elderly relative also needs to understand this, but I assume they will not.

I would advise you not to choose the elderly relative over your adult child, but it looks like you may have already done so.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2023 13:44     Subject: DC (22) refuses relationship with close relative
Absent abuse, I would expect my adult child to be civil to relative while in my house. I would not demand that said adult child interact with the relative beyond the bare minimum.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2023 13:40     Subject: Re:DC (22) refuses relationship with close relative
Anonymous wrote:So basically, you want your child to look the other way on unabashed bigotry because the person sprewing that bigotry is useful to you?

What "bigotry" specifically are you referring to?
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2023 13:36     Subject: DC (22) refuses relationship with close relative
You are setting it up to not have a relationship with your adult child. Hope that is worth it for you.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2023 13:18     Subject: DC (22) refuses relationship with close relative
Anonymous wrote:“Child”? There is no child in this scenario.

Why would your adult son or daughter have to say more than hello or basic civilities when around them? They don’t have to like them, but they do have to be civil. The end.


Look, we don't have a gender-neutral term for son or daughter in English, unless you want OP to talk about their offspring (which aside from being awkward also sounds plural). If OP doesn't want to share the adult son or daughter's gender, how do you suggest referring to them?

Anonymous
Post 01/13/2023 19:24     Subject: DC (22) refuses relationship with close relative
It probably bothers your daughter that a child (who is already experiencing some kind of life difficulty) is exposed to your relatives problematic opinions and the constant violence on Fox News.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2023 19:11     Subject: DC (22) refuses relationship with close relative
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Did the relative do something to the child?


OP here. Not to my knowledge. Whenever I confront child, child says their angry that relative watches Fox News loudly every time they come over, opposes relative’s political and religious views, says they find the sound of relative’s voice annoying, that relative meddles way too much/is judgmental, relative leaves multiple doors at unlocked at night every time they come in front door and go outside through other doors, that relative comes over too much and stays too long, relative wears dirty shoes all over the house, that relative is sexist toward DC (relative is same gender and sex as DC) and I could go on. Relative is not a bad person in my eyes.


“Child” drank the liberal coolaid


Someone who thinks “liberal” is a bad thing can’t spell Kool-Aid. What a shocker.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2023 19:08     Subject: Re:DC (22) refuses relationship with close relative
Anonymous wrote:So basically, you want your child to look the other way on unabashed bigotry because the person sprewing that bigotry is useful to you?


Nailed it.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2023 19:00     Subject: DC (22) refuses relationship with close relative
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Did the relative do something to the child?


OP here. Not to my knowledge. Whenever I confront child, child says their angry that relative watches Fox News loudly every time they come over, opposes relative’s political and religious views, says they find the sound of relative’s voice annoying, that relative meddles way too much/is judgmental, relative leaves multiple doors at unlocked at night every time they come in front door and go outside through other doors, that relative comes over too much and stays too long, relative wears dirty shoes all over the house, that relative is sexist toward DC (relative is same gender and sex as DC) and I could go on. Relative is not a bad person in my eyes.


Caretaker for what or who 4 days a week? Dogwalking so present for 1 hour? No since doors are left unlocked at night. Relative meddles, assumes contro; of a TV remote for channel and volume in a common area of the house, likely barks comments on food eaten/appearance/life style.

Is it elder care and diapers?



OP here. There is a toddler that lives in our household. This toddler is not the child of DH, the DC in question or myself. It would be a long story to describe.


It sounds like you have a lot going on in your family that could contribute to your daughter's dissatisfaction.

But having a toddler around makes it all the more important to lock the door, and toddlers do not benefit from constant Fox News. The content is really inappropriate for small children. Open your eyes.