Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He told her to abort the child and she was hesitant. In the end, she decided to keep the baby. He never asked about her during the pregnancy or his son until now. When she met him, he was separated from his ex-wife and was always involved with his other 2 children. He was really hands on and a doting father to them. But if he can be loving towards the children of his ex, why can’t he be loving towards his own son as well? That’s the confusing part.

My friend talks about this, so it’s not like I’m involving myself in her business. Would it be a good idea if one of my friend’s parent meets her ex and confronts him about why he is not involved in his son’s life?

Usually, I'm on women's side but since we want the right to abortion, women need to own their reproductive decisions. He had no say in it, she made a decision in her own so she should deal with the consequences. He already had children and didn't want any more, why should he pay for her choice to trap him into having another one.

Because child support is for the child, not the mother.

Anyway, I would keep the door open for this guy. I do think men easily compartmentalize, which is why the fact that he is a good dad to his other kids is meaningless, except to show that he’s not some monster. But I wouldn’t put that much effort into it.

With a man like this their commitment to the child hinges on their commitment to the mother. Guarantee you it was his wife who filed and he didn’t want the divorce. Men are not like women and fewer of them will commit to a child whose mother they are not in a relationship with.

NP and he clearly didn't want the child. It's incredibly unrealistic to expect him to be involved with a child he didn't want.

And it’s immoral not to be a father to the life you created.

I don't agree with that. He has to pay because as a taxpayer I don't want to be stuck paying for all these kids but that's the end of the obligation for a situation like this one.

Fathers not stepping up creates more hardships for society than just financial.

Anonymous wrote:If she wants money, probably she can get legal help but other than that woman get the short end of the stick in these situations and she chose short end herself.

Anonymous wrote:OP's friend is probably young and naive and signed up for more than she can chew.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He told her to abort the child and she was hesitant. In the end, she decided to keep the baby. He never asked about her during the pregnancy or his son until now. When she met him, he was separated from his ex-wife and was always involved with his other 2 children. He was really hands on and a doting father to them. But if he can be loving towards the children of his ex, why can’t he be loving towards his own son as well? That’s the confusing part.

My friend talks about this, so it’s not like I’m involving myself in her business. Would it be a good idea if one of my friend’s parent meets her ex and confronts him about why he is not involved in his son’s life?

Usually, I'm on women's side but since we want the right to abortion, women need to own their reproductive decisions. He had no say in it, she made a decision in her own so she should deal with the consequences. He already had children and didn't want any more, why should he pay for her choice to trap him into having another one.

Yes. Again, his autonomy ends where her body begins.
This isn’t right either. He made the decision to take financial responsibility when he made the decision to have unprotected sex. He doesn’t get to not pay child support. Sucks for his existing family but this is his doing too. If you don’t want a baby don’t have sex without protection.

Yes but why a man doesn't get any say in abortion? Just like theyshould be able to force women to carry children, they shouldn't be forced to be fathers to kids they didn't want? Just playing devil's advocate.

Because it isn’t their body. A wife doesn’t get any say in whether their husband has a vasectomy or a triple bypass. It’s his body. She can give her opinion but has no decision making right unless he is incapacitated and she is his legally designated proxy. This is a cornerstone of health care.

100% but should a man be held responsible for life long responsibilities and sponsoring if a woman who isn't a wife, wants to keep the child?

and declines abortion

Yes. He makes the decision at the time of unprotected sex. She makes the decision then and again past the until abortion deadline. It’s not equal. That’s just the way it is bc abortion is legal and she is the one carrying the pregnancy and facing the health consequences of pregnancy and childbirth.

I get that abortion decision making rights shouldn't be equal because it only involves one party's body but if an accident happens with a condom and woman wasn't truthful about her birth control and wants to trap the guy with a baby, is it fair to punish him?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He told her to abort the child and she was hesitant. In the end, she decided to keep the baby. He never asked about her during the pregnancy or his son until now. When she met him, he was separated from his ex-wife and was always involved with his other 2 children. He was really hands on and a doting father to them. But if he can be loving towards the children of his ex, why can’t he be loving towards his own son as well? That’s the confusing part.

My friend talks about this, so it’s not like I’m involving myself in her business. Would it be a good idea if one of my friend’s parent meets her ex and confronts him about why he is not involved in his son’s life?

Usually, I'm on women's side but since we want the right to abortion, women need to own their reproductive decisions. He had no say in it, she made a decision in her own so she should deal with the consequences. He already had children and didn't want any more, why should he pay for her choice to trap him into having another one.

It does. Solution? Tax extramarital sex?
Because child support is for the child, not the mother.

Anyway, I would keep the door open for this guy. I do think men easily compartmentalize, which is why the fact that he is a good dad to his other kids is meaningless, except to show that he’s not some monster. But I wouldn’t put that much effort into it.

With a man like this their commitment to the child hinges on their commitment to the mother. Guarantee you it was his wife who filed and he didn’t want the divorce. Men are not like women and fewer of them will commit to a child whose mother they are not in a relationship with.

NP and he clearly didn't want the child. It's incredibly unrealistic to expect him to be involved with a child he didn't want.

And it’s immoral not to be a father to the life you created.

I don't agree with that. He has to pay because as a taxpayer I don't want to be stuck paying for all these kids but that's the end of the obligation for a situation like this one.

Fathers not stepping up creates more hardships for society than just financial.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He told her to abort the child and she was hesitant. In the end, she decided to keep the baby. He never asked about her during the pregnancy or his son until now. When she met him, he was separated from his ex-wife and was always involved with his other 2 children. He was really hands on and a doting father to them. But if he can be loving towards the children of his ex, why can’t he be loving towards his own son as well? That’s the confusing part.

My friend talks about this, so it’s not like I’m involving myself in her business. Would it be a good idea if one of my friend’s parent meets her ex and confronts him about why he is not involved in his son’s life?

Usually, I'm on women's side but since we want the right to abortion, women need to own their reproductive decisions. He had no say in it, she made a decision in her own so she should deal with the consequences. He already had children and didn't want any more, why should he pay for her choice to trap him into having another one.

It does. Solution? Tax extramarital sex?
Because child support is for the child, not the mother.

Anyway, I would keep the door open for this guy. I do think men easily compartmentalize, which is why the fact that he is a good dad to his other kids is meaningless, except to show that he’s not some monster. But I wouldn’t put that much effort into it.

With a man like this their commitment to the child hinges on their commitment to the mother. Guarantee you it was his wife who filed and he didn’t want the divorce. Men are not like women and fewer of them will commit to a child whose mother they are not in a relationship with.

NP and he clearly didn't want the child. It's incredibly unrealistic to expect him to be involved with a child he didn't want.

And it’s immoral not to be a father to the life you created.

I don't agree with that. He has to pay because as a taxpayer I don't want to be stuck paying for all these kids but that's the end of the obligation for a situation like this one.

Fathers not stepping up creates more hardships for society than just financial.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He told her to abort the child and she was hesitant. In the end, she decided to keep the baby. He never asked about her during the pregnancy or his son until now. When she met him, he was separated from his ex-wife and was always involved with his other 2 children. He was really hands on and a doting father to them. But if he can be loving towards the children of his ex, why can’t he be loving towards his own son as well? That’s the confusing part.

My friend talks about this, so it’s not like I’m involving myself in her business. Would it be a good idea if one of my friend’s parent meets her ex and confronts him about why he is not involved in his son’s life?

Usually, I'm on women's side but since we want the right to abortion, women need to own their reproductive decisions. He had no say in it, she made a decision in her own so she should deal with the consequences. He already had children and didn't want any more, why should he pay for her choice to trap him into having another one.

This isn’t right either. He made the decision to take financial responsibility when he made the decision to have unprotected sex. He doesn’t get to not pay child support. Sucks for his existing family but this is his doing too. If you don’t want a baby don’t have sex without protection.

Yes but why a man doesn't get any say in abortion? Just like theyshould be able to force women to carry children, they shouldn't be forced to be fathers to kids they didn't want? Just playing devil's advocate.

Because it isn’t their body. A wife doesn’t get any say in whether their husband has a vasectomy or a triple bypass. It’s his body. She can give her opinion but has no decision making right unless he is incapacitated and she is his legally designated proxy. This is a cornerstone of health care.

100% but should a man be held responsible for life long responsibilities and sponsoring if a woman who isn't a wife, wants to keep the child?

and declines abortion

Yes. He makes the decision at the time of unprotected sex. She makes the decision then and again past the until abortion deadline. It’s not equal. That’s just the way it is bc abortion is legal and she is the one carrying the pregnancy and facing the health consequences of pregnancy and childbirth.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He told her to abort the child and she was hesitant. In the end, she decided to keep the baby. He never asked about her during the pregnancy or his son until now. When she met him, he was separated from his ex-wife and was always involved with his other 2 children. He was really hands on and a doting father to them. But if he can be loving towards the children of his ex, why can’t he be loving towards his own son as well? That’s the confusing part.

My friend talks about this, so it’s not like I’m involving myself in her business. Would it be a good idea if one of my friend’s parent meets her ex and confronts him about why he is not involved in his son’s life?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He told her to abort the child and she was hesitant. In the end, she decided to keep the baby. He never asked about her during the pregnancy or his son until now. When she met him, he was separated from his ex-wife and was always involved with his other 2 children. He was really hands on and a doting father to them. But if he can be loving towards the children of his ex, why can’t he be loving towards his own son as well? That’s the confusing part.

My friend talks about this, so it’s not like I’m involving myself in her business. Would it be a good idea if one of my friend’s parent meets her ex and confronts him about why he is not involved in his son’s life?

Usually, I'm on women's side but since we want the right to abortion, women need to own their reproductive decisions. He had no say in it, she made a decision in her own so she should deal with the consequences. He already had children and didn't want any more, why should he pay for her choice to trap him into having another one.

Because child support is for the child, not the mother.

Anyway, I would keep the door open for this guy. I do think men easily compartmentalize, which is why the fact that he is a good dad to his other kids is meaningless, except to show that he’s not some monster. But I wouldn’t put that much effort into it.

With a man like this their commitment to the child hinges on their commitment to the mother. Guarantee you it was his wife who filed and he didn’t want the divorce. Men are not like women and fewer of them will commit to a child whose mother they are not in a relationship with.

NP and he clearly didn't want the child. It's incredibly unrealistic to expect him to be involved with a child he didn't want.

And it’s immoral not to be a father to the life you created.

I don't agree with that. He has to pay because as a taxpayer I don't want to be stuck paying for all these kids but that's the end of the obligation for a situation like this one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He told her to abort the child and she was hesitant. In the end, she decided to keep the baby. He never asked about her during the pregnancy or his son until now. When she met him, he was separated from his ex-wife and was always involved with his other 2 children. He was really hands on and a doting father to them. But if he can be loving towards the children of his ex, why can’t he be loving towards his own son as well? That’s the confusing part.

My friend talks about this, so it’s not like I’m involving myself in her business. Would it be a good idea if one of my friend’s parent meets her ex and confronts him about why he is not involved in his son’s life?

Usually, I'm on women's side but since we want the right to abortion, women need to own their reproductive decisions. He had no say in it, she made a decision in her own so she should deal with the consequences. He already had children and didn't want any more, why should he pay for her choice to trap him into having another one.

Because child support is for the child, not the mother.

Anyway, I would keep the door open for this guy. I do think men easily compartmentalize, which is why the fact that he is a good dad to his other kids is meaningless, except to show that he’s not some monster. But I wouldn’t put that much effort into it.

With a man like this their commitment to the child hinges on their commitment to the mother. Guarantee you it was his wife who filed and he didn’t want the divorce. Men are not like women and fewer of them will commit to a child whose mother they are not in a relationship with.

NP and he clearly didn't want the child. It's incredibly unrealistic to expect him to be involved with a child he didn't want.

And it’s immoral not to be a father to the life you created.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He told her to abort the child and she was hesitant. In the end, she decided to keep the baby. He never asked about her during the pregnancy or his son until now. When she met him, he was separated from his ex-wife and was always involved with his other 2 children. He was really hands on and a doting father to them. But if he can be loving towards the children of his ex, why can’t he be loving towards his own son as well? That’s the confusing part.

My friend talks about this, so it’s not like I’m involving myself in her business. Would it be a good idea if one of my friend’s parent meets her ex and confronts him about why he is not involved in his son’s life?

Usually, I'm on women's side but since we want the right to abortion, women need to own their reproductive decisions. He had no say in it, she made a decision in her own so she should deal with the consequences. He already had children and didn't want any more, why should he pay for her choice to trap him into having another one.

This isn’t right either. He made the decision to take financial responsibility when he made the decision to have unprotected sex. He doesn’t get to not pay child support. Sucks for his existing family but this is his doing too. If you don’t want a baby don’t have sex without protection.

Yes but why a man doesn't get any say in abortion? Just like theyshould be able to force women to carry children, they shouldn't be forced to be fathers to kids they didn't want? Just playing devil's advocate.