Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess you power through but certainly never get another dog.

Yeah we don’t have to worry about that 😜 anyone else feel this way? No question I guess, just a vent.

My mom did. For more than 40 years. She was not a dog person and actually had been bitten by a dog when she was a child. But my dad loved dogs. He always had to have two, and we grew up with Bull Mastiffs, which are not small. Fortunately, they also were not super active, but imagine when they are sick and have accidents in the house, poop/diarrhea/vomit. And my mom, who worked closed to home so she could be with us kids, took on about 90% of the work.

FWIW, my chore for most of my childhood was taking a wet rage to wipe "snuffles" off the walls and floors a couple times a week. Those dogs drooled like fire hydrants, and when they shook their heads, that drool ended up EVERYWHERE. On the dining room chandelier, even.

She kept putting up with new dogs, unfortunately. I will say after one of the last pair passed away, my mom, for the first time, really enjoyed having just one dog. That dog was older, and more sedate, but having only one made a huge difference for her.

I know you are doing most of the work. I didn't see how old your kids are. But the soon-to-be vet kid could easily take on a bit more of this work, right? One kid feeds breakfast, one kid feeds dinner. One kid walks the dog at least once a day, one kid vacuums Monday, one kid vacuums Thursday, etc. Make a dog chore chart. You will still have work, but it will be less, and the dog will benefit from the structure and attention.

And think through the behavior that bugs you the most -- when neighbors arrive? That bugs me too, and I taught my dog to "settle" on a crate mat on command. And eventually got him to do it automatically when the door bell sounds. (Took about a year, but it has worked).

The last minute trips and boarding -- can't help on that one. It's pretty much dog life. Hang in there, I have total empathy.

Just chiming in to say that you are a really good mom, OP. I don't think I could do what you are doing. We are a cat family for a reason!

It's a little different, but my splurge is to hire cleaners so that I don't resent the mess that the rest of the family creates. I hated that my options were either to nag them constantly or do it myself. So I am literally paying for family happiness. I know most of DCUM has cleaners, but for us it was a bit of a stretch at first. But so worth it.

If you can, you should outsource to doggie daycare as much as you can. Or find a dog walking company (we use Fetch) so that if your usual walker can't come, they have other people on staff who can fill in. It might gain you some flexibility to take the trips you want to take. You are being so patient for the sake of your family and this dog. You deserve to spend money to spread out the burden so you don't let the resentment build.

We adopted a senior pitty mix at age 9, thinking we’d give him a good home for the couple of years he was alive. He lived to be 16! He was very easy to care for until age 14 when he really started having mobility issues. So
Much extra time, care, money. When it was clearly time to say bye we bawled our eyes out and said never again.

Then came the pandemic and boredom and kids asking for another dog. We said ok. We got a puppy and OMG. Those first few months… it’s a Golden and was so cute but we weren’t (aren’t) prepared for the energy level. We read about it sure but I guess we didn’t fully process.

It was certainly easier caring for an adult dog until he reached his very senior years (and for his size the vet said he should live to maybe 11 or 12). Then it was a nightmare.

But starting with a puppy and having a very energetic adult dog is no fun either.

Next time, no dog for real.

Anonymous wrote:My kids BEGGED me for a dog for ten years, I mean seriously begged. One of them is just obsessed with animals to the point I think he’ll be a vet or something. We finally caved right before the pandemic and got them a dog and they are so so happy. They really never complain about having to take care of the dog and really and truly, I am happy they are happy.

The problem is I hate it. I hate how much it’s changed our life. The kids help, yes, but most of the care falls to me of course (as I knew would happen). I hate walking the dog, I hate how much mess there is related to the dog, I hate having to contain the dog when service people or visitors come, I hate being followed around by the dog, I hate that we got an invite to go away last minute this weekend but can’t because we’d have to find dog care and spend hundreds of dollars. I hate being interrupted in the middle of work. Etc etc.

I swear to god I am a great dog mom - the dog loves me and I really do a great job of faking not being miserable for the kids’ sake but I was really thinking I would grow to love having a dog and I just don’t. How do I cope? Just like any other drudgery with parenting, I guess? Just keep going for the kids?

Hmm. Interesting. Some people are just not caregivers, neither to animals nor humans

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sympathy for people who don’t enjoy having a dog. I said no to my kids for many years because I didn’t want a dog. When I decided I could handle the work without feeling resentment, I finally said yes. I did a lot of research to make sure we got the dog best suited for our family. Falling in love with him was an awesome experience. He doesn’t feel like much work at all because he has few needs and I enjoy caring for him. I wouldn’t have considered a puppy.

I sincerely hope that as your dog ages, you find a happy routine and begin to enjoy the dog.

Not OP, but thank you! I do appreciate the sympathy and I’m not being facetious. It’s raining outside where I live and I have to bring him outside to the bathroom even though I’m all cozy in bed. We have coyotes so he can’t go alone. Then I have to clean mud from his paws and wipe down the floor. I love my dog, and there are times when I enjoy and times when I don’t.

Yes, it is hard to leave a cozy, warm dry situation to head out in the rain and cold and then have to clean paws when you get back. No denying that. I hope he doesn’t need to go out again tonight.

I'm sorry OP, I am showing your post to my husband as why I don't want a dog.

Anonymous wrote:I feel sympathy for people who don’t enjoy having a dog. I said no to my kids for many years because I didn’t want a dog. When I decided I could handle the work without feeling resentment, I finally said yes. I did a lot of research to make sure we got the dog best suited for our family. Falling in love with him was an awesome experience. He doesn’t feel like much work at all because he has few needs and I enjoy caring for him. I wouldn’t have considered a puppy.

I sincerely hope that as your dog ages, you find a happy routine and begin to enjoy the dog.

Not OP, but thank you! I do appreciate the sympathy and I’m not being facetious. It’s raining outside where I live and I have to bring him outside to the bathroom even though I’m all cozy in bed. We have coyotes so he can’t go alone. Then I have to clean mud from his paws and wipe down the floor. I love my dog, and there are times when I enjoy and times when I don’t.

Anonymous wrote:I can so relate. I had a dog in my 20s. What I now realize was a dream dog. Just a really easy chill dog. I now have a neurotic, needy, destroying, tries to sleep lying ON TOP of me dog. I kind of love him but yesterday he ate a $80 bra. He’s 18 months and on Prozac and I pay a dog walker daily and geez. What a mistake. Wrong breed I guess. Or

No crate? I'd never allow my dog who ate my stuff to just wander the house. Ours is crated at night and whenever I can't keep an eye on her.

I can so relate. I had a dog in my 20s. What I now realize was a dream dog. Just a really easy chill dog. I now have a neurotic, needy, destroying, tries to sleep lying ON TOP of me dog. I kind of love him but yesterday he ate a $80 bra. He’s 18 months and on Prozac and I pay a dog walker daily and geez. What a mistake. Wrong breed I guess. Or

Anonymous wrote:My kids BEGGED me for a dog for ten years, I mean seriously begged. One of them is just obsessed with animals to the point I think he’ll be a vet or something. We finally caved right before the pandemic and got them a dog and they are so so happy. They really never complain about having to take care of the dog and really and truly, I am happy they are happy.

The problem is I hate it. I hate how much it’s changed our life. The kids help, yes, but most of the care falls to me of course (as I knew would happen). I hate walking the dog, I hate how much mess there is related to the dog, I hate having to contain the dog when service people or visitors come, I hate being followed around by the dog, I hate that we got an invite to go away last minute this weekend but can’t because we’d have to find dog care and spend hundreds of dollars. I hate being interrupted in the middle of work. Etc etc.

I swear to god I am a great dog mom - the dog loves me and I really do a great job of faking not being miserable for the kids’ sake but I was really thinking I would grow to love having a dog and I just don’t. How do I cope? Just like any other drudgery with parenting, I guess? Just keep going for the kids?

I could have written your post. Honestly, almost exactly…except my kids don’t help at all. They are incredibly selfish teenagers and are constantly on their phones and act like they are doing me a favor just to watch her. See, she’s the sort of dog that even now after 3 years has to be watched or she’ll get into something. I don’t envy you. I really wish we didn’t do this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your dog will slow down a it ages. It' still young and energetic and demanding. After about 5 it will settle down in the house but still need exercise (tired = good, as I'm sure you've heard). After 7 or so its exercise needs will start to decline. My 15 year old dog basically sleeps all day, although having a very old dog comes with other challenges and we really can't board her anymore at this age.

Anyway, you are approaching the sweet spot of a mature dog that is fun but not as needy.

I’m guessing OP shudders at the thought of the dog reaching 15 years old. We have a 16 year old dog and are in the same boat - can’t board him. But OP, it’s pretty uncommon to have a dog that reaches such an old age, so don’t think about that now. Outsource care, find a dog sitter that can come on short notice, and feel good about all benefits to your kids. Usually, familiarity breeds contempt, but with a dog, familiarity leads to affection, so I bet one day you will realize that you love the dog. You are a good egg for taking care of the dog and being a good dog mom.

Can you and P-PP explain why you can’t board your senior dogs anymore?

I have an 8-year-old Bulldog, and she still boards. I’m wondering if there is something I’m missing. (Bulldogs aren’t long lived, so 8 is quite senior.)

[NP]

Old dogs are unhappy in boarding. Like old people. They don’t like their routines and favorite things disrupted. - n p

I'm one of the PPs. It's a lot of this - younger adult dogs can deal with their routines shifting but it's really hard on older dogs. Not just they don't like it (mine has never liked it) but it causes all kinds of eating and bowel upsets and significant decline. Also mine is frail and requires some careful handling, as well as meds several times a day.
If your senior dog doesn't have those issues, that's great!

I am the PP who asked.

My senior girl has been day boarding and overnight boarding at the same location since she was 8 weeks old. She loves it there. I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t missing some other factor. Thankfully, she has no potty issues.

Thanks so much for explaining.

I’m pp with 16 year old dog with arthritis. Most dogs get to a point where it’s hard to board them because they don’t enjoy being around energetic dogs and could easily get hurt by normal roughhousing that dogs do. Our dog was still doing 6 mile hikes at 14, and then down to 1-2 miles at 15 and then at 16, we stopped taking him on any hikes, just short walks. Our vet said dogs his size usually live until 12, so he is a super senior. You will notice when your dog’s activity level diminishes and they don’t enjoy being in a boarding setting anymore. Until then, keep doing what you are doing!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your dog will slow down a it ages. It' still young and energetic and demanding. After about 5 it will settle down in the house but still need exercise (tired = good, as I'm sure you've heard). After 7 or so its exercise needs will start to decline. My 15 year old dog basically sleeps all day, although having a very old dog comes with other challenges and we really can't board her anymore at this age.

Anyway, you are approaching the sweet spot of a mature dog that is fun but not as needy.

I’m guessing OP shudders at the thought of the dog reaching 15 years old. We have a 16 year old dog and are in the same boat - can’t board him. But OP, it’s pretty uncommon to have a dog that reaches such an old age, so don’t think about that now. Outsource care, find a dog sitter that can come on short notice, and feel good about all benefits to your kids. Usually, familiarity breeds contempt, but with a dog, familiarity leads to affection, so I bet one day you will realize that you love the dog. You are a good egg for taking care of the dog and being a good dog mom.

Can you and P-PP explain why you can’t board your senior dogs anymore?

I have an 8-year-old Bulldog, and she still boards. I’m wondering if there is something I’m missing. (Bulldogs aren’t long lived, so 8 is quite senior.)

[NP]

That was me - he has arthritis in both hind legs as a result of old age plus 2 acl repairs. He needs grippy socks on hard surfaces and he sometimes falls down and needs help getting up. We boarded and flew him quite a bit even up to the age of 14 and he never had a problem, but the last couple of years has been harder. He is a 45# mixed breed.

I feel sympathy for people who don’t enjoy having a dog. I said no to my kids for many years because I didn’t want a dog. When I decided I could handle the work without feeling resentment, I finally said yes. I did a lot of research to make sure we got the dog best suited for our family. Falling in love with him was an awesome experience. He doesn’t feel like much work at all because he has few needs and I enjoy caring for him. I wouldn’t have considered a puppy.

I sincerely hope that as your dog ages, you find a happy routine and begin to enjoy the dog.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your dog will slow down a it ages. It' still young and energetic and demanding. After about 5 it will settle down in the house but still need exercise (tired = good, as I'm sure you've heard). After 7 or so its exercise needs will start to decline. My 15 year old dog basically sleeps all day, although having a very old dog comes with other challenges and we really can't board her anymore at this age.

Anyway, you are approaching the sweet spot of a mature dog that is fun but not as needy.

I’m guessing OP shudders at the thought of the dog reaching 15 years old. We have a 16 year old dog and are in the same boat - can’t board him. But OP, it’s pretty uncommon to have a dog that reaches such an old age, so don’t think about that now. Outsource care, find a dog sitter that can come on short notice, and feel good about all benefits to your kids. Usually, familiarity breeds contempt, but with a dog, familiarity leads to affection, so I bet one day you will realize that you love the dog. You are a good egg for taking care of the dog and being a good dog mom.

Can you and P-PP explain why you can’t board your senior dogs anymore?

I have an 8-year-old Bulldog, and she still boards. I’m wondering if there is something I’m missing. (Bulldogs aren’t long lived, so 8 is quite senior.)

[NP]

Old dogs are unhappy in boarding. Like old people. They don’t like their routines and favorite things disrupted. - n p

I'm one of the PPs. It's a lot of this - younger adult dogs can deal with their routines shifting but it's really hard on older dogs. Not just they don't like it (mine has never liked it) but it causes all kinds of eating and bowel upsets and significant decline. Also mine is frail and requires some careful handling, as well as meds several times a day.
If your senior dog doesn't have those issues, that's great!

I am the PP who asked.

My senior girl has been day boarding and overnight boarding at the same location since she was 8 weeks old. She loves it there. I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t missing some other factor. Thankfully, she has no potty issues.

Thanks so much for explaining.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your dog will slow down a it ages. It' still young and energetic and demanding. After about 5 it will settle down in the house but still need exercise (tired = good, as I'm sure you've heard). After 7 or so its exercise needs will start to decline. My 15 year old dog basically sleeps all day, although having a very old dog comes with other challenges and we really can't board her anymore at this age.

Anyway, you are approaching the sweet spot of a mature dog that is fun but not as needy.

I’m guessing OP shudders at the thought of the dog reaching 15 years old. We have a 16 year old dog and are in the same boat - can’t board him. But OP, it’s pretty uncommon to have a dog that reaches such an old age, so don’t think about that now. Outsource care, find a dog sitter that can come on short notice, and feel good about all benefits to your kids. Usually, familiarity breeds contempt, but with a dog, familiarity leads to affection, so I bet one day you will realize that you love the dog. You are a good egg for taking care of the dog and being a good dog mom.

Can you and P-PP explain why you can’t board your senior dogs anymore?

I have an 8-year-old Bulldog, and she still boards. I’m wondering if there is something I’m missing. (Bulldogs aren’t long lived, so 8 is quite senior.)

[NP]

Old dogs are unhappy in boarding. Like old people. They don’t like their routines and favorite things disrupted. - n p

I'm one of the PPs. It's a lot of this - younger adult dogs can deal with their routines shifting but it's really hard on older dogs. Not just they don't like it (mine has never liked it) but it causes all kinds of eating and bowel upsets and significant decline. Also mine is frail and requires some careful handling, as well as meds several times a day.
If your senior dog doesn't have those issues, that's great!