I'm so sorry you are going through this OP. It's so hard to see your child take the wrong path.

My suggestion: Listen to what he says, tell him you respectfully disagree, ask him gentle questions, but don't argue with him.

I have an HFA kid who sometimes spews odd stuff he reads on the internet about women. Things like women only want to date men who are rich, which he had to have picked up online or from one of his friends.

I listen and tell him when I agree with something (anything) he says, but I don't try to argue him out of his "ideas" which change by the next time I speak with him.

Often I'll hear him echoing something I've said to him previously (I never point that out!), so I feel like I have some unconscious effect on his thinking.

You could say neutral things to your DS like "relationships are complicated" and "not all women are alike" stuff that sounds so simple and obvious, but are completely omitted from the black/white thinking that Tate and his ilk espouse.

Getting his father involved may be helpful, but make certain you and your ex are on the same page. If you each send inconsistent messages to your DS, that will complicate things.

My HFA son has never had a serious girlfriend, likely because of his rigid thinking and poor communication and social skills. I try very hard to keep communicating with him so that he always hears another voice. He reads a lot on instagram and believes all that crap, which is upsetting. His younger siblings are the total opposite (they are both NT), but ASD kids are vulnerable.

I'm not suggesting your DS is ASD, but he's an adolescent, and all adolescents are vulnerable in one way or another because they are going through so many changes.

Stay strong and calm when your DS spews nonsense, OP. Just keep talking with him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

No, it’s not. That’s just the thing. These guys have no consequences for his actions. Rape convictions, overall, are incredibly low

A lack of conviction won't stop it from spreading on social media and his name coming up for potential future employers.

Yeah, if it’s bad enough it will enhance his influencer reputation, be a speed bump on his way to a Supreme Court confirmation, or be a complete nothing burger in his presidential campaign.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If he rapes a woman out of his entitlement, it's gonna be worse.

OP this is exactly what you should be worried about. It's in everyones best interest that he drops out before he preys on some poor girl because you know damn well he isn't getting any (at least not consensually) if he's following Tate. A financial/educational setback is going to be a lot easier to recover from than a sexual assault charge.

I agree with the PP who said that there is nothing OP can say that will stop this because OP is a woman. I do think that OP should say that it’s wrong because otherwise she is endorsing the behavior and her son needs to hear the truth but not with the hope that she going to stop an 18-year old male who is into this stuff. If he gets out it’ll be because of external factors.

But yes this should be the focus of what OP says. OP, I’d recommend briefly doing some good research on consent (Emily Nagoski has a recent podcast episode on it) and just having that awkward conversation with him. And in come as you are she quotes a police chief (at least I think that’s his title) who says rape is the most violent thing you can do to somebody outside of killing him. Everybody should be aware of that fact.

Maybe a few nights in a Romanian prison will change Tate's views on consent?

Not unless they put him in the women’s section.

Honestly there are plenty of Romanian men who like Andrew Tate. He might have cell mates who are fans.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If he rapes a woman out of his entitlement, it's gonna be worse.

OP this is exactly what you should be worried about. It's in everyones best interest that he drops out before he preys on some poor girl because you know damn well he isn't getting any (at least not consensually) if he's following Tate. A financial/educational setback is going to be a lot easier to recover from than a sexual assault charge.

I agree with the PP who said that there is nothing OP can say that will stop this because OP is a woman. I do think that OP should say that it’s wrong because otherwise she is endorsing the behavior and her son needs to hear the truth but not with the hope that she going to stop an 18-year old male who is into this stuff. If he gets out it’ll be because of external factors.

But yes this should be the focus of what OP says. OP, I’d recommend briefly doing some good research on consent (Emily Nagoski has a recent podcast episode on it) and just having that awkward conversation with him. And in come as you are she quotes a police chief (at least I think that’s his title) who says rape is the most violent thing you can do to somebody outside of killing him. Everybody should be aware of that fact.

Maybe a few nights in a Romanian prison will change Tate's views on consent?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

No, it’s not. That’s just the thing. These guys have no consequences for his actions. Rape convictions, overall, are incredibly low

A lack of conviction won't stop it from spreading on social media and his name coming up for potential future employers.

Only if she reports it. And she probably won’t. And if he fails at his business, he will just blame women and minorities- he won’t think he did anything wrong. His mindset has to change, and that’s more likely at a decent college than alone in a dump apartment spending all his time online.


OP, do his two fellow cult members go to his college? Some distance from them would be wise, obviously.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If he rapes a woman out of his entitlement, it's gonna be worse.

OP this is exactly what you should be worried about. It's in everyones best interest that he drops out before he preys on some poor girl because you know damn well he isn't getting any (at least not consensually) if he's following Tate. A financial/educational setback is going to be a lot easier to recover from than a sexual assault charge.

I agree with the PP who said that there is nothing OP can say that will stop this because OP is a woman. I do think that OP should say that it’s wrong because otherwise she is endorsing the behavior and her son needs to hear the truth but not with the hope that she going to stop an 18-year old male who is into this stuff. If he gets out it’ll be because of external factors.

But yes this should be the focus of what OP says. OP, I’d recommend briefly doing some good research on consent (Emily Nagoski has a recent podcast episode on it) and just having that awkward conversation with him. And in come as you are she quotes a police chief (at least I think that’s his title) who says rape is the most violent thing you can do to somebody outside of killing him. Everybody should be aware of that fact.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Andrew Tate, Joe Rogan and Shapiro

Yes, it's an issue. You tell them hey this is nothing new we had Rush Limbaugh. They are all liars trying to make money, they're hacks.

They will push back because they are young and DAF.

Eventually they grow out of it, you hope. I had some people I know follow Rush for year even after he was proven to be a fraud.

BTW... lol

https://twitter.com/GretaThunberg/status/1608056944501178368?s=20&t=d8IS_Zgu3KUzZj0QagYJyA

Never heard of Andrew Tate, but Joe Rogan, Ben Shapiro and Rush are totally different. Joe Rogan has roughly double the audience of the NY Times and is more about entertainment than anything else. Sure, Rush was a RWNJ, but the left has their fair share of propaganda as well.

I think it is unfair to put Rogan in the same category as those guys. I used to have a negative view of him based on the media. Some of his podcasts came up in my youtube feed because he interviewed an expert in a topic I am interested in. I started watching some of his stuff. He is not what people accuse him of. He is actually pretty liberal.

A dangerous person is 60% propaganda and 40% real (a key component to propaganda).

An evil person (Rogan) is 10% propaganda and 90% real … because the lines are so blurred,

It seems like your vision is blurred.

What propaganda are you claiming he spews? From what I have seen he has a variety of guests on his show with different perspectives. He doesn't agree with what they all have to say. He actually has discussions which is quite rate these days.

I know he rejected a request from the Trump people to have him on. So there is that.

Doing 1 or 2 nice things does not negate all the negatives stuff you do,

It’s off how all the mma(ish) dudes are some how associated with propaganda. MMA/wwf/etc are all fake so they think being fake and lying is cool if it brings you money.

It’s pathetic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP might want to show him the news today.

Tate's apartment in Romania has been raided by police. Two girls are missing.

Your kid needs a smack on the head and his computer put in the trash.

I just saw this. I only see this on Twitter from random accounts, nothing official. Any link?

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/andrew-tate-arrested-romania-report_n_63ae44b0e4b0d6724fbbaa70

Anonymous wrote:Do you see any signs of toxic masculinity?

I was going to ask the exact same question.

OP, does your son want to be a special forces soldier?

Does he fix petro cars or motos?

Has he been in a fist fight?

Is he seeking out numerous beautiful women to have sex with?

Is he averting his eyes when he sees an attractive woman wearing yoga pants at Wegmans?

Has he been caught watching UFC cage fights or Rambo??

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did you raise a person without the discernment to see this guy for what he is? Not snarking you. I have an 8 year old and want to do better.

You’re absolutely snarking me. So far you’re not doing better.

It’s a valid question IMO. My kid would never in a million years support this sexist charlatan. He recognizes that the way he talks about and treats women is vile. What values did you instill if he listens to anything that misogynist says and thinks it is true?

DP. My teenaged son despises Andrew Tate and is gleeful tonight over Tate’s arrest. I have worked hard to instill the foundational values that led him to despise Tate, but I am not so arrogant as to assume he could never (and will never) go a different way. As parents we don’t have 100% control over what they are exposed to, or what they will choose to do with that.

To be honest, I don’t love how gleeful my son is about the situation tonight, because they allegations against Tate are so awful, no one should be taking joy in this situation. I worry that he’s lost sight of the fact that this happened because women were victimized and brutalized. It’s not too slippery a slope from overlooking women as victims in this to seeing women as less than human, just like Tate does.

Anonymous wrote:

No, it’s not. That’s just the thing. These guys have no consequences for his actions. Rape convictions, overall, are incredibly low

A lack of conviction won't stop it from spreading on social media and his name coming up for potential future employers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If he rapes a woman out of his entitlement, it's gonna be worse.

OP this is exactly what you should be worried about. It's in everyones best interest that he drops out before he preys on some poor girl because you know damn well he isn't getting any (at least not consensually) if he's following Tate. A financial/educational setback is going to be a lot easier to recover from than a sexual assault charge.

No, it’s not. That’s just the thing. These guys have no consequences for his actions. Rape convictions, overall, are incredibly low

Anonymous wrote:

If he rapes a woman out of his entitlement, it's gonna be worse.

OP this is exactly what you should be worried about. It's in everyones best interest that he drops out before he preys on some poor girl because you know damn well he isn't getting any (at least not consensually) if he's following Tate. A financial/educational setback is going to be a lot easier to recover from than a sexual assault charge.

Oh we are willing to "let" him do that for sure.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tate was just arrested in Romania for human trafficking. Your son isn't going to listen to anything you have to say because he doesn't view women as people. Either a male he respects is going to have to tell him what a pathetic loser he is or he's going to have to be allowed to make his own mistakes.

To be frank, being allowed to drop out to "run" his little pyramid scheme drop shipping "business" sounds like exactly the life lesson he needs.

I sort of agree with this. Sometimes tough love is the best option. Pain sucks but sometimes that’s the only way to learn a lesson.

Me too. Let him suffer a bit while the consequences are still surmountable.

If he rapes a woman out of his entitlement, it's gonna be worse.