Anonymous
12/27/2022 00:13
Subject: Is this normal - grandma saying Santa comes to her house to bring kids Christmas presents
Anonymous wrote:Do you think this is normal and is this what your mom/mil says to your kids?
Yesterday I overheard my mil tell my kid that Santa was going to stop by at her house and drop off presents for the kid too. We are going over there for Christmas today. In the moment I didn’t say anything but it just rubbed me wrong for some reason and left me with a funny feeling… when I thought about it I think it’s because I feel like Santa is a parents thing and grandparents are free to give kids presents from them, but they really aren’t playing Santa anymore. Furthermore it could lead to complications with kid like kid asking how Santa knew they were going to grandmas house or I don’t know… even just Santa bringing them so much stuff through different relatives.
I feel like my mil is overstepping here and trying to revive the Santa role for herself.
Am I overthinking or is this weird? I kind of want to go tell her, or have Dh tell her, no you are free to give kids Christmas gifts but no playing Santa please.
I haven't read the thread, but for goodness sake OP, you don't have a monopoly on Santa. Santa is free to leave present anyplace he pleases, and grandma's house is perfectly fine. I think it's darn selfish and petty of you to deny a grandmother Santa Claus of all things. If your kid can believe that Santa rides a sleigh with flying reindeer, and somehow knows if you've been good or bad all year, he can certainly know you are going to grandma's house on Christmas.
Anonymous
12/26/2022 18:29
Subject: Is this normal - grandma saying Santa comes to her house to bring kids Christmas presents
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:GROW UP!
Santa stops at houses all over the world but not at the grandparents house?
You have a Grinch heart!
Oh please. Granny had her moment, she needs to let the parents have theirs. So tired of grannies overstepping their bounds.
WTF moment???
We have spent Christmas with the grands and Santa showed up there and at Lucien house. Grow up!
Anonymous
12/26/2022 10:18
Subject: Is this normal - grandma saying Santa comes to her house to bring kids Christmas presents
Anonymous wrote:This irritated me because I don’t like the notion of Santa bring an excessive amount of toys. Why do some kids only get one thing from Santa and others get a whole toy store or stuff? Were they better kids? Tell them it’s fine for grandparents to spoil kids but you don’t want them to think Santa plays favorites that way. They’ll be talking to friends at preschool or cousins on the other side of the family and it creates issues.
Because some parents care about getting credit and some don't. "The big gift is from US not Santa" It's not other parents fault if they go about it differently in their house. If Santa is stingy at your house, that's your problem.
Anonymous
12/26/2022 09:46
Subject: Re:Is this normal - grandma saying Santa comes to her house to bring kids Christmas presents
Anonymous wrote:Ignore all these yes women OP. Your mil needs to step back and let you have your tradition with your kids. Tell her Santa doesn’t go to grandparents place. Dcum have a lot of women who act like they’re saints and “how dare you not put up with everything your mil does”
I disagree. I’ve had a lot of MIL issues. A lot involving boundaries. This is one thing that really doesn’t matter. We haven’t traveled in a few years so she mailed the items for the stocking from Santa to our house, mine included, and my youngest is in middle school.
Anonymous
12/26/2022 09:34
Subject: Is this normal - grandma saying Santa comes to her house to bring kids Christmas presents
This irritated me because I don’t like the notion of Santa bring an excessive amount of toys. Why do some kids only get one thing from Santa and others get a whole toy store or stuff? Were they better kids? Tell them it’s fine for grandparents to spoil kids but you don’t want them to think Santa plays favorites that way. They’ll be talking to friends at preschool or cousins on the other side of the family and it creates issues.
Anonymous
12/26/2022 08:52
Subject: Re:Is this normal - grandma saying Santa comes to her house to bring kids Christmas presents
Reading OP’s follow up, I totally get the annoyance and why it feels like overstepping.
But I also think there’s something nice about an adult who is okay giving up “credit” for the gifts they buy in order to make the kids feel extra doted on by “Santa”. We don’t live near family so grandparents just send gifts and I wrap them. I always make the grandparent gifts “from” them, never Santa (we buy Santa gifts). It never occurred to me to make those gifts from Santa because I want my kid to be able to say thank you for specific gifts when we talk to them. It would actually be kind of cool if the grandparents said “oh make these Santa gifts” because it would take some pressure off us.
But in context, I totally get why this bothers you OP. Every family dynamic is different.
But I also think there’s something nice about an adult who is okay giving up “credit” for the gifts they buy in order to make the kids feel extra doted on by “Santa”. We don’t live near family so grandparents just send gifts and I wrap them. I always make the grandparent gifts “from” them, never Santa (we buy Santa gifts). It never occurred to me to make those gifts from Santa because I want my kid to be able to say thank you for specific gifts when we talk to them. It would actually be kind of cool if the grandparents said “oh make these Santa gifts” because it would take some pressure off us.
But in context, I totally get why this bothers you OP. Every family dynamic is different.
Anonymous
12/26/2022 08:52
Subject: Re:Is this normal - grandma saying Santa comes to her house to bring kids Christmas presents
Anonymous wrote:Ignore all these yes women OP. Your mil needs to step back and let you have your tradition with your kids. Tell her Santa doesn’t go to grandparents place. Dcum have a lot of women who act like they’re saints and “how dare you not put up with everything your mil does”
Lol, I have never see such a complete mischaracterization of most DCUM posts focused on MILs.
Anonymous
12/26/2022 08:41
Subject: Is this normal - grandma saying Santa comes to her house to bring kids Christmas presents
Anonymous wrote:I’d be irritated at this and would correct the behavior for next year by telling your MIL that presents at her house are from her. It’s ok that some people don’t have a problem with this behavior and that some do. To each their own. What matters is what you think.
This is odd phrasing- of the type I only see people use with dogs and young children.
Anonymous
12/26/2022 08:21
Subject: Re:Is this normal - grandma saying Santa comes to her house to bring kids Christmas presents
Anonymous wrote:I mean it’s normal for Boomers to selfishly try to do this, but you are fine to be annoyed. My MIL tried this too and we shut it down. Ridiculous.
Santa always left things for me and my cousins at the homes of my grandparents when I was a kid. And my grandparents were born in the early 1900s, so they were definitely not boomers.
It seems a bit odd to me to complain about more people showing love to your child on Christmas.
Anonymous
12/26/2022 08:05
Subject: Is this normal - grandma saying Santa comes to her house to bring kids Christmas presents
Anonymous wrote:This would definitely irritate me and I would ask MIL not to do that going forward.
+1
Anonymous
12/26/2022 06:04
Subject: Is this normal - grandma saying Santa comes to her house to bring kids Christmas presents
I’d be irritated at this and would correct the behavior for next year by telling your MIL that presents at her house are from her. It’s ok that some people don’t have a problem with this behavior and that some do. To each their own. What matters is what you think.
Anonymous
12/26/2022 02:57
Subject: Re:Is this normal - grandma saying Santa comes to her house to bring kids Christmas presents
I mean it’s normal for Boomers to selfishly try to do this, but you are fine to be annoyed. My MIL tried this too and we shut it down. Ridiculous.
Anonymous
12/26/2022 02:21
Subject: Is this normal - grandma saying Santa comes to her house to bring kids Christmas presents
I’m all for daughters and DILa griping but good gruiré this one is too much. If we are playing the Santa game why wouldn’t he stop there?
Anonymous
12/26/2022 01:36
Subject: Re:Is this normal - grandma saying Santa comes to her house to bring kids Christmas presents
My mom did this. I didn’t love it, but it was pretty low on the List of Hills To Die On.
Kids seemed to roll with it fine, like they did when we traveled and Santa knew where to find us in our hotel. Nobody had Premature Santa Belief Loss because of it.
Kids seemed to roll with it fine, like they did when we traveled and Santa knew where to find us in our hotel. Nobody had Premature Santa Belief Loss because of it.
Anonymous
12/26/2022 01:19
Subject: Re:Is this normal - grandma saying Santa comes to her house to bring kids Christmas presents
Seriously? My mom still has Santa presents for our college age child as well as my husband and I. It’s one of the things I love best about her. If my MIL wanted to have Santa presents at her house too, I would play right along with it as well.