Anonymous
12/24/2022 14:27
Subject: Re:Received a terrible, stressful gift from MIL
Anonymous wrote:OP I think the right thing to do here etiquette-wise is to graciously receive it and then ignore it.
If she asks you about it later, she’s now in the wrong, etiquette-wise. It’s not appropriate to follow up on whether you’re using a gift like that. You say something like “we have been so busy lately, I haven’t had time for any writing at all. Thank you again for the gift. We appreciate you thinking of us.”
If she goes on past that point, she’s even more in the wrong etiquette-wise and you just repeat that script over and over.
Now, who knows if being in the right etiquette-wise is worth anything in your life and family dynamics. I’m inclined to agree with the PPs that if it’s important to your husband to mollify your MIL, he should do the darn writing prompts himself. Of course there’s a risk she’ll get you two next year.
If she pushes, it could be because she doesn't want to just abandon $100 that she's already paid You could gently suggest that she use the subscription to document her memories for the grandbaby--that would be amazing present for you--and you can write down your memories when your kids are older and you have more time. She can use it and gift you the book that results.
Anonymous
12/24/2022 14:17
Subject: Received a terrible, stressful gift from MIL
Anonymous wrote:We got Storyworth for our retired parents--I think that's more the target demographic!
+1 it's definitely marked to that demographic. They have more stories to tell and more time spend telling them. OP does it have to be done in the year after the gift was given or can it be put off until later?
Anonymous
12/24/2022 14:12
Subject: Received a terrible, stressful gift from MIL
Jeez. Such MIL haters. Why can’t we assume she means well and was trying to help you document this time in your life. Of course it’s too much, but you don’t have to be so angry.
I had a friend who “sent” his baby an email every week and I was always envious that he had taken the time to capture those sweet early memories. My kids were born before smart phones so we didn’t have the incessant documentation.
Good luck.
I had a friend who “sent” his baby an email every week and I was always envious that he had taken the time to capture those sweet early memories. My kids were born before smart phones so we didn’t have the incessant documentation.
Good luck.
Anonymous
12/24/2022 14:09
Subject: Received a terrible, stressful gift from MIL
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you tell her that it’s just too much on your plate right I now, but you’d be honored if she would fill it out as a Grandma book for the new baby to have.
This is the only option here. Sorry I can’t do it but I’d be honored if you would.
This, right here.
Anonymous
12/24/2022 14:08
Subject: Received a terrible, stressful gift from MIL
This is being advertised to senior citizens OP--for them to record info about their lives for their children and grandchildren. Your MIL probably meant well, but she or DH are the ones who should be filling it out.
Anonymous
12/24/2022 14:06
Subject: Received a terrible, stressful gift from MIL
Is it true the gifted sees the responses? I gave this to my mom and I'm not sure that's true.
Anonymous
12/24/2022 13:59
Subject: Received a terrible, stressful gift from MIL
Anonymous wrote:I am a new mom. DD was born in Feb. I received my gift tonight from my MIL. She purchased a subscription for me from a company called Storybooks. I’ve never heard of this before, so if you’re in the dark like I was, basically it’s this company that emails you a writing prompt every week and you are to fill it out. After the year is up, these responses are compiled into a book for you. My MIL thought it would be a wonderful idea for me to do for my daughter because I am a new mom, so when she’s older, she can read all about mom.
While I appreciate the thought behind this, this gift is so not me. I do not like to write, let alone journal. Never have, never will. To me, this is a huge commitment for an entire year that I just don’t have time for. Again, I’m a new mom, I’m now back at work - I don’t have the time nor desire to write a short story on my life each week for a YEAR. A YEAR!!
I suppose if you’re a really sentimental person and you enjoy writing in your spare time, this would be a great gift. But to me, she gifted me WORK.
Also, the company emails MIL my weekly responses to the writing prompt so she will know if I complete the assignment each week.
Ugh. Thanks for letting me vent.
This post can be your first entry
Anonymous
12/24/2022 13:58
Subject: Re:Received a terrible, stressful gift from MIL
Anonymous wrote:OP I think the right thing to do here etiquette-wise is to graciously receive it and then ignore it.
If she asks you about it later, she’s now in the wrong, etiquette-wise. It’s not appropriate to follow up on whether you’re using a gift like that. You say something like “we have been so busy lately, I haven’t had time for any writing at all. Thank you again for the gift. We appreciate you thinking of us.”
If she goes on past that point, she’s even more in the wrong etiquette-wise and you just repeat that script over and over.
Now, who knows if being in the right etiquette-wise is worth anything in your life and family dynamics. I’m inclined to agree with the PPs that if it’s important to your husband to mollify your MIL, he should do the darn writing prompts himself. Of course there’s a risk she’ll get you two next year.
Not so sure about this. MIL set it up so that she finds out if OP updates it. That is not a gift. That is her inserting herself as much as she can into their lives in the disguise of a gift. It's presumptuous. Shew could have given her a memory book to fill out that OP could just re-gift. It's up to husband to set the boundary or handle. He can do the updates or see if he can turn it on mom where she writes her memories to share with future generations. He needs to gently thank her for the thought, but explain that gifts that create work are not a good idea and she might want to run things by him next time.
Anonymous
12/24/2022 13:53
Subject: Received a terrible, stressful gift from MIL
Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you tell her that it’s just too much on your plate right I now, but you’d be honored if she would fill it out as a Grandma book for the new baby to have.
This is the only option here. Sorry I can’t do it but I’d be honored if you would.
Anonymous
12/24/2022 13:37
Subject: Re:Received a terrible, stressful gift from MIL
Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry Op, this gift is comically bad. Thanks for the laugh this morning while I was trapped under a sleeping baby.
....and clearly able to read things online and write things that respond to them.
Anonymous
12/24/2022 11:11
Subject: Received a terrible, stressful gift from MIL
When you got to the part of about the emailing your response to MIL, I literally laughed out loud. That’s the icing on the cake. This is also funny but I’m sorry you are figuring your way out of it.
Anonymous
12/24/2022 11:04
Subject: Re:Received a terrible, stressful gift from MIL
I’m sorry Op, this gift is comically bad. Thanks for the laugh this morning while I was trapped under a sleeping baby.
Anonymous
12/24/2022 09:50
Subject: Re:Received a terrible, stressful gift from MIL
Are you able to redirect the subscription? Send it to me and I will create some stories for you.
Anonymous
12/24/2022 09:08
Subject: Received a terrible, stressful gift from MIL
If she asks about it later say you look at the prompts and use some of them as ideas to write in your private journal. Something that you can reflect on over the years and decide which parts to keep and or share at a later time.
Anonymous
12/24/2022 08:37
Subject: Re:Received a terrible, stressful gift from MIL
OP I think the right thing to do here etiquette-wise is to graciously receive it and then ignore it.
If she asks you about it later, she’s now in the wrong, etiquette-wise. It’s not appropriate to follow up on whether you’re using a gift like that. You say something like “we have been so busy lately, I haven’t had time for any writing at all. Thank you again for the gift. We appreciate you thinking of us.”
If she goes on past that point, she’s even more in the wrong etiquette-wise and you just repeat that script over and over.
Now, who knows if being in the right etiquette-wise is worth anything in your life and family dynamics. I’m inclined to agree with the PPs that if it’s important to your husband to mollify your MIL, he should do the darn writing prompts himself. Of course there’s a risk she’ll get you two next year.
If she asks you about it later, she’s now in the wrong, etiquette-wise. It’s not appropriate to follow up on whether you’re using a gift like that. You say something like “we have been so busy lately, I haven’t had time for any writing at all. Thank you again for the gift. We appreciate you thinking of us.”
If she goes on past that point, she’s even more in the wrong etiquette-wise and you just repeat that script over and over.
Now, who knows if being in the right etiquette-wise is worth anything in your life and family dynamics. I’m inclined to agree with the PPs that if it’s important to your husband to mollify your MIL, he should do the darn writing prompts himself. Of course there’s a risk she’ll get you two next year.