Encourage him to read "Where You Go Is No Who You'll Be" or, if he won't read it, play the audio book on your next road trip.

I think the hard part is that there are no guarantees these days and the whole TO thing has really thrown things up in the air. But I do agree with the following advice here: Make sure there's sufficient rigor to make his GPA a solid one, whatever it is. It's a problem to have average grades if you're taking easy classes, and the easiness is determined by what other kids at his high school are taking. The ECs will help counteract any shortcomings with the GPA at SOME schools, like at the second tier SLACs. Those schools will grant merit not based so much on his exact score but on how many alternative comparable offers he will likely have.

If he's got his heart set on the public flagships, the ECs won't make up for the GPA and test scores.

Anonymous wrote:To OP- I find it weird that parents with a freshmen are on this page. Wouldn’t you be better off on the private school page/fcps/McPherson etc page? The fact that you are on here means that YOU are the one stressing about your child’s grades and YOU are going to be the driver in their stress. I have a 23 so that’s why I’m here, but I certainly wasn’t asking about grades when DC was a freshmen bc I understood that As and better than Bs and I have to love the child I have, No what what their grades are.

No, it's the opposite. We're in this weird upside down universe where I'm telling my kid I think his choices are fine, and that I'm confident he'll end up in the place in college and in life that's right for him, and he's going to school and coming back home in a tizzy because some other kid told him "Why aren't you taking X class? Don't you want to go to a good college?" or "I got a B+ on that Spanish test. My parents are going to kill me. You can't get into a good college these days unless you have all A's."

So, I want to reassure him that he can do what he loves, even if it means he takes a less rigorous course load, or gets a mix of A's and B's. But if I'm going to tell him that, I need to be able to talk honestly about what that choice means. My guess is that either way he won't get into the schools at the very top, and that the difference between the schools that he will get into isn't huge. But I wanted to reality check that, because I don't want it to come back and bite me if I tell him something, and he makes a decision based on that and he's devastated in 3 years.

To OP- I find it weird that parents with a freshmen are on this page. Wouldn’t you be better off on the private school page/fcps/McPherson etc page? The fact that you are on here means that YOU are the one stressing about your child’s grades and YOU are going to be the driver in their stress. I have a 23 so that’s why I’m here, but I certainly wasn’t asking about grades when DC was a freshmen bc I understood that As and better than Bs and I have to love the child I have, No what what their grades are.

Agree with posters that say happiness is everything for kids today.
Need that more than anything.
Convey that it's your child's transcript/resume/story of who they are that they will put forth to colleges.
That gives them the responsibility to make choices and think ahead.
Agree with that current GPA some schools on your initial list might be tough, but there's lots of time.
Each step your child takes and as their responsibility grows, encourage they do the research that will enlighten them. Realism is key to crafting a successful list of reaches, targets, and safeties that they would really love to attend if admitted.
Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:I didn't read the whole thread, but OP, you have a happy, well-adjusted kid who is busy and doing well in school. Why are you concerned? Take a deep breath. 3.5 is a great GPA.

The DMV is a weird place to raise a kid. Tune out the super high achiever parents and focus on whether your kid is thriving. The answer seems to be yes.

This is key! The DMV gives you a very, very warped view on raising children from preschool to college. You are existing in a universe where a 3.5 GPA is considered terrible, and everyone has three tutors. Nobody else lives like this, OP. We left NOVA for ROVA (rest of Virginia) and it reintroduced us to normality in academics and socialization. Your kid will do fine, OP. Force yourself to maintain perspective.

Her extracurriculars had no relation to her major, but she stuck with those ECs for all four years of HS.

And she is still doing one of them in college. Continued direct line passes through into the college years.

It could depend on the program your kid is applying to. Engineering? It matters greatly. Other majors? It depends.

My college freshman took a load of APs in her area of interest and got good scores that gave her college credit at any university. Her APs aligned with what she wanted to major in as a college student. Direct line there. Her extracurriculars had no relation to her major, but she stuck with those ECs for all four years of HS.

There is an arc here, a story your kid needs to tell on those applications. What is his story going to be? Who is he? What makes him tick? It doesn't have to be ten things, it needs to be one thing.

I didn't read the whole thread, but OP, you have a happy, well-adjusted kid who is busy and doing well in school. Why are you concerned? Take a deep breath. 3.5 is a great GPA.

The DMV is a weird place to raise a kid. Tune out the super high achiever parents and focus on whether your kid is thriving. The answer seems to be yes.