Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We can afford. One idea to take the $9000 (the merit) out of her bank account as a way of getting “skin in the game”
She is not a partier, like at all. She is introverted and has a bad case of ADD. She did not take advantage of any of the supports in the school, or what they had to offer. In terms of accommodations, even though she was entitled to some like extended test time. She said socially, She loves it.

Don’t punish her. It sounds like she needs support to figure out what happened. Help her find solutions.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you for all the support. Just want to give a shout out that this is actually the kindest I’ve ever seen DCUM.
Couple things. I don’t think the school was too hard for her, as someone suggested. This is a large public university that caters to good students and inner city kids. It’s a true mix, and I think it was a good fit for her. Her scores were in the 75th percentile. It was a target school, borderline safety school. She was accepted to “better” schools. The point about the school accepting her knowing this would happen (losing merit aid) is interesting, I never thought of that.
She did have a lot of money in her bank account. She worked for two years scooping ice cream, and got pandemic pay for one of those years. She also had bat mitzvah money and a gift from grandparents. It’s a savings account that she pretty much has never touched.
The hardest part of this, as a parent, is watching her be so hard on herself. She too went to an MCPS school with inflated grades, and where there were no final exams. This week was horrendous for her studying. Something she was not accustomed to it all.
I think we just need to talk to her and see what the real problem was. It wasn’t partying, I think it was a bit of a screen addiction, and the freedom of not having me nag and look at Canvas. She wants to do well.

Anonymous wrote:We can afford. One idea to take the $9000 (the merit) out of her bank account as a way of getting “skin in the game”
She is not a partier, like at all. She is introverted and has a bad case of ADD. She did not take advantage of any of the supports in the school, or what they had to offer. In terms of accommodations, even though she was entitled to some like extended test time. She said socially, She loves it.

Anonymous wrote:My freshman kids first semester grades aren’t looking so hot… she didn’t fail out, but it’s a 2.0, and she withdrew from a class so it was only 13 credits. She will not get her merit aid. At school ranked in the 75 to 100 area. If your kid screwed up first semester freshman year of college, what would you do? Is a 2.0 a serious screw up or am I being crazy? Do I cut her a break because it was the first semester of college and a huge adjustment? She feels pretty dejected right now. I’m not really sure what we can say to her because DH and I are kind of upset about the loss of merit. Thanks.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you for all the support. Just want to give a shout out that this is actually the kindest I’ve ever seen DCUM.
Couple things. I don’t think the school was too hard for her, as someone suggested. This is a large public university that caters to good students and inner city kids. It’s a true mix, and I think it was a good fit for her. Her scores were in the 75th percentile. It was a target school, borderline safety school. She was accepted to “better” schools. The point about the school accepting her knowing this would happen (losing merit aid) is interesting, I never thought of that.
She did have a lot of money in her bank account. She worked for two years scooping ice cream, and got pandemic pay for one of those years. She also had bat mitzvah money and a gift from grandparents. It’s a savings account that she pretty much has never touched.
The hardest part of this, as a parent, is watching her be so hard on herself. She too went to an MCPS school with inflated grades, and where there were no final exams. This week was horrendous for her studying. Something she was not accustomed to it all.
I think we just need to talk to her and see what the real problem was. It wasn’t partying, I think it was a bit of a screen addiction, and the freedom of not having me nag and look at Canvas. She wants to do well.

Anonymous wrote:C's get degrees.

Anonymous wrote:College prof here. Great advice and great support from PPs! I'd just gather their advice together into a plan.

0. Mental-health and medication check: Does DD need a counseling tune-up or a medication rebalance? What plans (gadgets, reminders, something else?) can be put in place to ensure that she takes her meds?

1. The consequence of this academic experience for DD should be not a dressing-down, but rather a couple of mature, honest, proactive conversations that will try to help prevent this happening again. (A GPA below 2.0 in the spring semester could land DD on her school's version of academic probation, and no one wants that.) Here are some possible deliverables for those conversations.

2. List #1: What were the contributing factors / situations / events that produced less-than-ideal outcomes in this semester's classes?

3. List #2: What choices / actions could produce better outcomes next semester? What resources exist on campus to support those choices?

4. Goals outline: In light of the above, what specific steps does DD agree to take? This outline could be a list, a calendar, a spreadsheet, or something else; it could get detailed enough to include website URLs, professors' email addresses, locations of campus offices that DD agrees to consult, dates of upcoming study-skills workshops, etc.

5. Follow-up plan: Should DD agree to update a written goals outline with actions that she takes? Should she agree to regularly scheduled supportive check-ins with you or with a trusted third party?

6. Support plan: To whom or what will DD reach out when the going gets tough? How can those people / resources be put on notice on DD's behalf?

7. Consequence plan: How will DD address falling short of individual goal items? (*Everyone* falls short on things or gets behind, so DD needs to be prepared for that and meet it honestly and head-on.) What will you and DD do together to help her aim for the best possible decision-making? What kinds of changes could be made in her schedule or expectations a semester from now if things don't go as well in the spring? (Summer courses, as another PP mentioned, might help--so might taking 12 cr in a semester in order to get grades up.)

You are right to take DD seriously, first and foremost. Once she is in a good place with herself, you can address the GPA--which I think you are taking with an appropriate degree of seriousness, as well. 2.0 is right on the edge--as an adviser, if I had a student with a 2.0, I would be reducing their courseload and strongly encouraging academic and personal support.

Anonymous wrote:We can afford. One idea to take the $9000 (the merit) out of her bank account as a way of getting “skin in the game”
She is not a partier, like at all. She is introverted and has a bad case of ADD. She did not take advantage of any of the supports in the school, or what they had to offer. In terms of accommodations, even though she was entitled to some like extended test time. She said socially, She loves it.

Anonymous wrote:We can afford. One idea to take the $9000 (the merit) out of her bank account as a way of getting “skin in the game”
She is not a partier, like at all. She is introverted and has a bad case of ADD. She did not take advantage of any of the supports in the school, or what they had to offer. In terms of accommodations, even though she was entitled to some like extended test time. She said socially, She loves it.