Anonymous wrote:It’s fine. My daughters are the same. They’re happy, well adjusted and fully comfortable with their blended identities. Their grandparents immigrated from India and, like most third generation immigrants, their identity is American first, and their various ethnicities a far second.

My third generation kid gets called "white washed." I got called a "coconut."

All part of the assimilation process, I tell her.

Anonymous wrote:Gosh you all are such typical in-fighting Desis.

To Op, as you see Indians are not a monolith. We have different outlooks regarding keeping some culture vs not, some of us have no trouble making friends with other Indians, some of us do, some of us cook, some of don’t, etc.

We are all obviously opinionated 😜. The tie that binds is.

I think it’s great you’re trying to expose your daughter to parts of her heritage. I’m of the personal opinion that connection to your roots helps ground you. I mean Ancestry.com and the like are clearly popular with several generation in Americans because people want to know where they are from and about their heritage.

Do what you can, don’t stress over it. You’re a great Mom!

Uh, are you new here? Nearly every thread is a fight on DCUM.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I second Amar Chitra Katha! I loved thise comic books when was growing up as a child of Indian immigrants. I think language classes are a good idea, if yiur child is interested. And always food!

But, in our area, there are so many Indian immigrants and they are not very welcoming to outsiders (as this thread demonstrates). I was born and raised here and am married to a white man so my kids know come Indian culture and religion and definitely food but don’t really identify as Indian and that’s okay. That’s what happens with immigrants throughout American history.

+1

I don't know why everyone is blaming the Indian dad. I'm an Indian mom but we're in the same situation as OP.

I am the daughter of Indian immigrants, married to a white guy, with kids a years older than OP. (I blame dad, too ) Through the years, I have actually given this a lot of thought because my mother complained no less than once a week that I was not Indian enough. And I think about culture with respect to my own children which is even more attenuated. And I've come to the conclusion that if culture is important it is best if the parent from that culture leads the way on tradition. (I'm was born here in the 1970s so nothing really existed so my mom was limited in options). Of people my age, I noticed that those who were more involved in culture were in larger everyday communities, whether it was their own family or whether they joined cultural groups based on language/region. (We didn't have family here when I was younger and my parents could never get themselves to attend the community events regularly). This, of course, is not the only way but it certainly is the easiest way.

So, OP, even though you are not religious, I would still research temples (assuming Hindu) to look into community events. There is likely a big difference between a neighborhood Diwali party and one associated with an Indian group or temple etc. (Personally, I'd prefer the neighborhood party but if "culture" is what you are after, then it seems worth exploring.) Your DD is only 11 but one of the biggest cultural moments for me was going to college and meeting so many Indians, joining Asian Student groups, Indian Student groups, etc.

As far as Dad is concerned, why isn't he more involved in bringing Indian cultural items to your DD? If it's not important enough to him, why is it important?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not too late of an age to teach Hindi (or any other regional languages). Concentrate on language first. Incorporate other things in every day life. Take the help from your ILs and have a curriculum that you follow. If you do careful selection with ILs help, you can also find some Indian kids films and cartoons that can get her interested in Indian culture.

I agree language is important. My dh doesn’t speak Hindi well and I don’t see my in-laws so much that they would be able to teach her. Any recommendations for Hindi classes in Maryland?

Are you OP? For language, zoom with the grandparents. They cannot teach her, but it will be a good way to reinforce/practice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not too late of an age to teach Hindi (or any other regional languages). Concentrate on language first. Incorporate other things in every day life. Take the help from your ILs and have a curriculum that you follow. If you do careful selection with ILs help, you can also find some Indian kids films and cartoons that can get her interested in Indian culture.

I agree language is important. My dh doesn’t speak Hindi well and I don’t see my in-laws so much that they would be able to teach her. Any recommendations for Hindi classes in Maryland?

Op come to Loudoun and sign up for classes or look to move. The South Asian population is greatly diverse and active. She will be near kids of same racial composition too.

But OP’s DH would haaaaate Loudoun. He sounds like the type who instantly looks away when they see another South Asian who might conceivably make eye contact 😂

You’re so weird & offensive

+ 1
(p)pp, why are you so triggered by the OP? Stop being a badtameez.

Nope PP is right

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not too late of an age to teach Hindi (or any other regional languages). Concentrate on language first. Incorporate other things in every day life. Take the help from your ILs and have a curriculum that you follow. If you do careful selection with ILs help, you can also find some Indian kids films and cartoons that can get her interested in Indian culture.

I agree language is important. My dh doesn’t speak Hindi well and I don’t see my in-laws so much that they would be able to teach her. Any recommendations for Hindi classes in Maryland?

Op come to Loudoun and sign up for classes or look to move. The South Asian population is greatly diverse and active. She will be near kids of same racial composition too.

But OP’s DH would haaaaate Loudoun. He sounds like the type who instantly looks away when they see another South Asian who might conceivably make eye contact 😂

You’re so weird & offensive

+ 1
(p)pp, why are you so triggered by the OP? Stop being a badtameez.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not too late of an age to teach Hindi (or any other regional languages). Concentrate on language first. Incorporate other things in every day life. Take the help from your ILs and have a curriculum that you follow. If you do careful selection with ILs help, you can also find some Indian kids films and cartoons that can get her interested in Indian culture.

I agree language is important. My dh doesn’t speak Hindi well and I don’t see my in-laws so much that they would be able to teach her. Any recommendations for Hindi classes in Maryland?

Op come to Loudoun and sign up for classes or look to move. The South Asian population is greatly diverse and active. She will be near kids of same racial composition too.

But OP’s DH would haaaaate Loudoun. He sounds like the type who instantly looks away when they see another South Asian who might conceivably make eye contact 😂

You’re so weird & offensive

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not too late of an age to teach Hindi (or any other regional languages). Concentrate on language first. Incorporate other things in every day life. Take the help from your ILs and have a curriculum that you follow. If you do careful selection with ILs help, you can also find some Indian kids films and cartoons that can get her interested in Indian culture.

I agree language is important. My dh doesn’t speak Hindi well and I don’t see my in-laws so much that they would be able to teach her. Any recommendations for Hindi classes in Maryland?

Op come to Loudoun and sign up for classes or look to move. The South Asian population is greatly diverse and active. She will be near kids of same racial composition too.

But OP’s DH would haaaaate Loudoun. He sounds like the type who instantly looks away when they see another South Asian who might conceivably make eye contact 😂

Anonymous wrote:OP, I would not only look at extra curriculars. I'd look at things like, musicians and actors from India, art from artists who are Indian, stuff like that.

This is an interesting idea. I'm sure the Sackler Gallery has some exhibits that could raise some talking points about India. The Beatles and their work Ravi Shankar, whose daughter is Norah Jones.

I think language classes are hard, but if you want to, I'd look for conversational ones only. Learning the Indian alphabet is challenging and not very useful longterm.

I think making the effort for exposure is enough, and I applaud you. I wouldn't worry too much. I'm first generation Indian, and there were lots of Indian kids who ignored the Indian culture growing up or weren't exposed to it at all, only to really get into it in college by joining the Indian Students club.

I think language classes could be great. Pre Covid, we tried India School for our then preschool age kid and found it to be very poorly run so we didn’t go back, but are considering looking for a teacher to start a small group session for our kids and some of their friends who have South Asian heritage.
Also keep a lookout for art and performances that could expose her to something she may get more curious about. For instance, the Smithsonian Asian Art museum has events, performances, and exhibitions. There’s currently a series on indie Indian cinema (not Bollywood which I agree can be tedious), and an exhibit on royal art from Udaipur. The Kennedy Center has performances from many great Indian art forms, not just dance, from time to time. And the Siva Vishnu Temple in Lanham MD also has music concerts, religious/ cultural discourses, and other performances in a more no-frills setting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not too late of an age to teach Hindi (or any other regional languages). Concentrate on language first. Incorporate other things in every day life. Take the help from your ILs and have a curriculum that you follow. If you do careful selection with ILs help, you can also find some Indian kids films and cartoons that can get her interested in Indian culture.

I agree language is important. My dh doesn’t speak Hindi well and I don’t see my in-laws so much that they would be able to teach her. Any recommendations for Hindi classes in Maryland?

Op come to Loudoun and sign up for classes or look to move. The South Asian population is greatly diverse and active. She will be near kids of same racial composition too.

My Indian American kid has friends from all parts of the world. He has tried a lot of things from each culture. I like the idea of being a global citizen and picking and choosing what you want. Anyways, the world has already adopted tandoori food, yoga, namaste, tumeric golden milk, Bollywood, Priyanka chopra, tech CEOs and big fat Indian weddings. So the popular Indian culture is very much around you.

I agree with poster above who said Bollywood does not equal Indian culture. I haaate Bollywood and think it is stupid. I have watched a handful of movies over the last decade, and that is after 5000 people told me they were thoughtful and interesting.

OP, I would not only look at extra curriculars. I'd look at things like, musicians and actors from India, art from artists who are Indian, stuff like that.

Gosh you all are such typical in-fighting Desis.

To Op, as you see Indians are not a monolith. We have different outlooks regarding keeping some culture vs not, some of us have no trouble making friends with other Indians, some of us do, some of us cook, some of don’t, etc.

We are all obviously opinionated 😜. The tie that binds is.

I think it’s great you’re trying to expose your daughter to parts of her heritage. I’m of the personal opinion that connection to your roots helps ground you. I mean Ancestry.com and the like are clearly popular with several generation in Americans because people want to know where they are from and about their heritage.

Do what you can, don’t stress over it. You’re a great Mom!