Anonymous
Post 11/23/2022 14:08     Subject: Re:My husband wants Chinese food on Thanksgiving
Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP, I totally support him and am on board but I know each sets of parents will flip out. (And his mother bought and is bringing the turkey tomorrow, which DH says he can "do something" with over the weekend.) I am not looking forward to gripes from them, namely his mom saying how hard he works (which will be directed snidely at me as if it's my fault) while my dad complains and my mom tries to cover for everyone by deciding to cook herself even though she has glaucoma and can't see well...I just think the fallout will be bad.

Good god. Who cares if both sets of parents will flip out? You’re adults, you’re the hosts, and your husband is tired and wants a break.
Anonymous
Post 11/23/2022 14:02     Subject: Re:My husband wants Chinese food on Thanksgiving
Anonymous wrote:

OP seems oddly passive and I feel sort of hot, frustrated and headachy- really having to confront a lot of sexist assumptions and not happy about it. She was going Thanksgiving shopping tonight? I have been to the market about eleven teen times over the past two weeks.


Um, why? Did you forget stuff?
Anonymous
Post 11/23/2022 08:43     Subject: Re:My husband wants Chinese food on Thanksgiving
Anonymous wrote:
Too bad I'm not coming over to your house, OP. This is just the sort of situation I'm good at as once things fall apart, I DGAF about faux outrage about the trappings of events. No turkey, no Thanksgiving foods does not equal "No Thanksgiving." Being with your family is what is important. And good for your DH in recognizing his needs (even to be a little selfish.) I'll bet there are legions of women across this country right now who would love to follow his example.

Throw some money at this. Get the T day dinner from somewhere and lots of Chinese food. Plan out the time with the extended family so DH can disappear if he needs to. Maybe after Thanksgiving, talk with him about what is going on.

Good luck!


+1,000 (PS, I'm going out to eat. Cooking that meal for 4 people is a lot of work and I don't enjoy it. Sounds like OP has never done it because DH does it)
Anonymous
Post 11/23/2022 08:32     Subject: My husband wants Chinese food on Thanksgiving
Anonymous wrote:Thanksgiving is an American holiday. Not Chinese. Don’t eat Chinese food. Gross.


You sound like a racist, insane person.
Anonymous
Post 11/23/2022 08:15     Subject: My husband wants Chinese food on Thanksgiving
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Take out Chinese food is for Christmas Eve , not Thanksgiving.

That seems pretty obvious


There are no rules about what to eat on any day, including holidays.

That seems pretty obvious.


+1



There may not be rules, but there are expectations. And if I were invited to Thanksgiving dinner and got Chinese instead of turkey and trimmings, I'd be upset. Mainly because I don't like Chinese cuisine, and I love traditional Thanksgiving dinner. OP, do your guests enjoy Chinese food? If so, let them know now so they aren't expecting the turkey et. al. (and I especially love your husbands plan to accept your Mom's turkey and then serve it to himself when she isn't there).
Anonymous
Post 11/23/2022 08:14     Subject: My husband wants Chinese food on Thanksgiving
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would indulge this and go all out.

Get tons of Chinese food.

Go to the store tomorrow and get edamame, Fly by Jing sauces (Whole Foods), chili crisp, fortune cookies, maybe stop by a Chinese bakery. Go to World Market and get Chinese drinks. H-mart snacks. Have fun with it! It'll be 2 hours or errands for less work in the kitchen.

Make a green bean casserole with chow mien noodles and friend onions.

If your family, like mine, would be "sad" at no turkey, don't tell them. if they bring sides, put them in the mix, too. And then do it for Christmas if you must.



The whole point of ordering Chinese is to avoid all sort of work, running to 3 different stores and cooking casseroles defeats the whole purpose “take out”


As long as OP is the one doing the shopping and cooking, DH can eat his Chinese food and stay out of it. I get that he doesn’t want to cook, but it’s unreasonable of him to demand that everyone else be content with Chinese food on Thanksgiving, too. He can have that, OP can buy a few rotisserie chicken and make a few sides. Best of both worlds. Guests can help clean up. If DH can’t manage to be pleased with that, then he can take his Chinese food and eat in the bedroom and stay there until people have departed.
Anonymous
Post 11/23/2022 08:07     Subject: My husband wants Chinese food on Thanksgiving
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Take out Chinese food is for Christmas Eve , not Thanksgiving.

That seems pretty obvious


There are no rules about what to eat on any day, including holidays.

That seems pretty obvious.


+1
Anonymous
Post 11/23/2022 08:07     Subject: My husband wants Chinese food on Thanksgiving
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Thanksgiving is an American holiday. Not Chinese. Don’t eat Chinese food. Gross.

This. DH sounds like a spoiled child.


He cooks every other year and he is working his butt off at his job. The lazy entitled spoiled man at Thanksgiving is a trope for a reason but OP's husband is not one of them.

Anonymous
Post 11/23/2022 06:24     Subject: My husband wants Chinese food on Thanksgiving
Anonymous wrote:Take out Chinese food is for Christmas Eve , not Thanksgiving.

That seems pretty obvious


There are no rules about what to eat on any day, including holidays.

That seems pretty obvious.
Anonymous
Post 11/23/2022 06:23     Subject: My husband wants Chinese food on Thanksgiving
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Thanksgiving is an American holiday. Not Chinese. Don’t eat Chinese food. Gross.

This. DH sounds like a spoiled child.


You’re both ridiculous.
Anonymous
Post 11/23/2022 06:21     Subject: My husband wants Chinese food on Thanksgiving
Anonymous wrote:I tried this one year. They aren’t open on thanksgiving.


Who is “they”
Anonymous
Post 11/23/2022 06:16     Subject: My husband wants Chinese food on Thanksgiving
I tried this one year. They aren’t open on thanksgiving.
Anonymous
Post 11/23/2022 05:54     Subject: Re:My husband wants Chinese food on Thanksgiving

Too bad I'm not coming over to your house, OP. This is just the sort of situation I'm good at as once things fall apart, I DGAF about faux outrage about the trappings of events. No turkey, no Thanksgiving foods does not equal "No Thanksgiving." Being with your family is what is important. And good for your DH in recognizing his needs (even to be a little selfish.) I'll bet there are legions of women across this country right now who would love to follow his example.

Throw some money at this. Get the T day dinner from somewhere and lots of Chinese food. Plan out the time with the extended family so DH can disappear if he needs to. Maybe after Thanksgiving, talk with him about what is going on.

Good luck!
Anonymous
Post 11/23/2022 04:53     Subject: Re:My husband wants Chinese food on Thanksgiving
It's a surprise, but I would roll with it. Cook the turkey, maybe mashed potatoes, and order Chinese. The more comfortable you are with the menu change, the more the rest of your family is to accept the change. Have fun with it!

But pie...make sure there is pie.

Your husband may also see store bought Thanksgiving as a lesser meal than the one he would make...and he sees how feel guilty he would feel throughout the meal.

Anonymous
Post 11/23/2022 04:29     Subject: Re:My husband wants Chinese food on Thanksgiving
You all are ridiculous, Turkey isn’t even delicious.
I don’t understand the obsession to have certain foods on thanksgiving, isn’t the whole point of the holiday to be together with family and be grateful for what you have?

I much rather have Chinese take out and enjoy my family’s company than to make a huge mess of the kitchen for the sake of someone else’s idea of tradition