To be appreciation vs. appropriation it should not be in the context of wearing a costume (ex. wedding sari for Halloween) it should also not be something sacred from a culture as an accessory (ex. an indigenous headdress) However if you are part of specific ceremony such as attending a Jewish wedding, it is customary to wear something on your head as a sign of respect if you are male. Modern Jewish weddings and Bar/Bat Mitzvah’s usually provide an event stamped yamaka/kippah If you are likely to wear it again because you are Jewish, you take it with, if not totally fine to return it to the basket on your way out. Inappropriate if you were to wear one for “fun” aka Not Jewish to go buy bagels because you hear that both yamakas and bagels are Jewish.

I am white, I have a gorgeous sari I wore for a close friend’s wedding. She tells me I absolutely could wear it again to any occasion where one would get that level of dressed up. Ie: the opera or a gala. (I admit to also being nervous to do so.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wear anything you want, any time you want, regardless of your spouse’s ethnicity. Cultural appropriation is a myth.

I agree with you that people should be able to wear whatever they want. But in our messed up world, people will judge you for it, even though that’s dumb.

Years ago I had a beautiful red dress with a flower pattern on it and a mandarin collar. I wore it because it was pretty and got lots of compliments. Two decades later when someone saw an old photo of me in it they commented that I “couldn’t get away with that today” because apparently that was “cultural appropriation.” The world has gone totally mad.

Your friend was right, if you wore a cheongsam style dress to a cocktail party as a white woman it would certainly raise eyebrows in SOME circles.

But WHY? I wasn’t wearing it as a costume. I just thought it was a flattering style on me. Why would it be offensive?

Do you understand the cultural significance of the cheongsam dress?

The fact that all you care about was “it’s flattering” is the problem. That dress has major cultural significance and you don’t even understand what that is.

Pp who posted the YouTube video here with an honest question.

What is the major cultural significance that would make it inappropriate for the other poster to wear the dress? Admittedly, I know relatively little about China and its culture, which is one of the reasons I like to watch YouTube videos about it and other places around the world. The impression I got from that video is that the dress has no specific significance and that Chinese people are fine with Westerners wearing it, especially if it’s flattering. Maybe the YouTuber didn’t fully understand the situation, but if there is a significance to the dress, I’d appreciate learning about it to add to my general knowledge.

Anonymous wrote:I’m white and my H is Mexican. The only time I would ever wear clothes from his culture is in situations where it would be more offensive NOT to. That’s never happened, so I never have. I would never just randomly decide to wear Mexican clothes to an event.

Being married to someone from a different culture doesn’t grant you permission to use things from that culture to suit you. Like people in his family use slurs and I would absolutely never, ever say any of them just because I’m part of the family.

As someone of Mexican descent, what are these Mexican clothes you are talking about? We don’t wear traditional outfits to events in the same way as Indians, Koreans, Vietnamese, etc do. There’s some traditional indigenous clothes but no one wears that out to parties. I’m confused

This whole concept of cultural appropriation is getting ridiculous.

My husband is from Latin America. Last time we visited some indigenous women were selling bags on the street. I wanted one but the I policed myself. I knew if I used that bag somebody would say I am appropriating another culture.

The saddest part is that those ladies didn' t make a sale with me. Do you think they care about white people wearing their clothes? No. It is just white people policing others.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wear anything you want, any time you want, regardless of your spouse’s ethnicity. Cultural appropriation is a myth.

I agree with you that people should be able to wear whatever they want. But in our messed up world, people will judge you for it, even though that’s dumb.

Years ago I had a beautiful red dress with a flower pattern on it and a mandarin collar. I wore it because it was pretty and got lots of compliments. Two decades later when someone saw an old photo of me in it they commented that I “couldn’t get away with that today” because apparently that was “cultural appropriation.” The world has gone totally mad.

Your friend was right, if you wore a cheongsam style dress to a cocktail party as a white woman it would certainly raise eyebrows in SOME circles.

But WHY? I wasn’t wearing it as a costume. I just thought it was a flattering style on me. Why would it be offensive?

Do you understand the cultural significance of the cheongsam dress?

The fact that all you care about was “it’s flattering” is the problem. That dress has major cultural significance and you don’t even understand what that is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wear anything you want, any time you want, regardless of your spouse’s ethnicity. Cultural appropriation is a myth.

I agree with you that people should be able to wear whatever they want. But in our messed up world, people will judge you for it, even though that’s dumb.

Years ago I had a beautiful red dress with a flower pattern on it and a mandarin collar. I wore it because it was pretty and got lots of compliments. Two decades later when someone saw an old photo of me in it they commented that I “couldn’t get away with that today” because apparently that was “cultural appropriation.” The world has gone totally mad.

Your friend was right, if you wore a cheongsam style dress to a cocktail party as a white woman it would certainly raise eyebrows in SOME circles.

But WHY? I wasn’t wearing it as a costume. I just thought it was a flattering style on me. Why would it be offensive?

FWIW, Here’s another data point. I’m not saying it’s a definitive answer or represents any kind of moral authority.

A few years back, apparently there was a big controversy when a HS student wore a similar dress to her prom. In response. a YouTuber who was living in China (and had for several years) shot a video of him polling Chinese people on the street about the question. Everyone in his very small sample seemed fine with the idea as a concept, the only concern seeming to be whether or not the woman would look good in it.

This obviously doesn’t mean that the majority of Chinese would have agreed at the time or that their attitudes today would be the same. Moreover, even if it’s okay to wear the dress in China, if you wear it elsewhere, it might still offend locals. As I said, it’s just a data point to consider as part of the larger discussion.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nXZKgk01G-A

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wear anything you want, any time you want, regardless of your spouse’s ethnicity. Cultural appropriation is a myth.

I agree with you that people should be able to wear whatever they want. But in our messed up world, people will judge you for it, even though that’s dumb.

Years ago I had a beautiful red dress with a flower pattern on it and a mandarin collar. I wore it because it was pretty and got lots of compliments. Two decades later when someone saw an old photo of me in it they commented that I “couldn’t get away with that today” because apparently that was “cultural appropriation.” The world has gone totally mad.

Your friend was right, if you wore a cheongsam style dress to a cocktail party as a white woman it would certainly raise eyebrows in SOME circles.

But WHY? I wasn’t wearing it as a costume. I just thought it was a flattering style on me. Why would it be offensive?

I’m Vietnamese by ethnicity (born in America though) and yeah, my white spouse is welcome to wear traditional outfits with me. Actually, if he refused, I think it would be far more offensive and hurtful to my parents and I - it would give off a vibe of not being interested in my family’s culture.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No such thing as cultural appropriation. This is a made up thing to cause conflict. We live in a free country made up of many many cultures. Feel complimented when someone of another culture “appropriates” yours. Stop all this bull crap intentional division of our society. Wear what you want. Cook what you want. Be happy. Be proud.

+1 What's the point of being a melting pot if you keep your culture all to yourself? Your culture is part of my culture now. That's how America works.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this board is probably majority white, but I wonder if those of you saying “of course you can, you dummy!” Are not white. White people know you can’t wear stuff or hairstyles or anything of ethnicities where the people are not white without possibly being horribly offensive. We are constantly told we cannot do it. That’s fine with me, whatever makes other people comfortable is fine. But don’t act like this stuff is universally accepted.

You clearly aren't married to or good friends with someone from a different culture or you would already know the answer to OP's question - totally fine, shows respect and appreciation of the culture.

Now if you are a white person who wore a sari to your white friend's wedding in rural Kentucky, that would be weird.

It is weird, but is it ‘Culture appropriation’?

You're replying to me, and no, I don't think it's cultural appropriation.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This has been an interesting discussion!
One more thought to add as I’m thinking about it more: I’m realizing part of what makes me uncomfortable wearing clothes from my husbands ethnicity is that I’ve have 30-40 years to tune my weak sense of style for American clothes into something that I’m comfortable with as an adult woman. With south Asian clothes, I’ve only had indirect exposure (not living in the country of origin) for 10 years. Most of my clothes are gifted to me from my elderly in laws (who would be ecstatic if I chose to wear the clothes they give me 24/7! Btw). I can only assume that their sense of style doesn’t reflect what a younger person should be wearing but I’m so naïve (since it’s not my culture of origin and I generally struggle with style) and haven’t had the same lifetime to tune my own style in SA clothes. DH is no help with style either.

So this is a completely different question that what you originally asked!! If you're worried about being "in style", then there are plenty of sites on the internet and instagram accounts you can follow to get a sense of what is appropriate (heck, Mindy Kaling just posted all of her Diwali party styles on instagram this week, they were gorgeous). You can also do your own shopping by visiting some shops and asking for help.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this board is probably majority white, but I wonder if those of you saying “of course you can, you dummy!” Are not white. White people know you can’t wear stuff or hairstyles or anything of ethnicities where the people are not white without possibly being horribly offensive. We are constantly told we cannot do it. That’s fine with me, whatever makes other people comfortable is fine. But don’t act like this stuff is universally accepted.

You clearly aren't married to or good friends with someone from a different culture or you would already know the answer to OP's question - totally fine, shows respect and appreciation of the culture.

Now if you are a white person who wore a sari to your white friend's wedding in rural Kentucky, that would be weird.

Well, no. As someone from a different culture, I would not consider the answer to OP's question to be "totally fine."

You would be offended if your same culture friend's spouse wore your culture's attire to a cultural event?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't ask white people this question, they're always going to say yes it's OK go ahead! In reality, it's not. Marrying someone doesn't give you a free pass to play dress up. It's not your culture, it never will be. You already know not to do it.

+100000.

Please don't play dress up. Just wear your regular clothes. Appropriating someone else's dress is almost always SUPER OFFENSIVE and patronizing. Also, what's next? By that twisted logic, are you also going to give yourself permission to wear non-white hairstyles just because you married a non-white person?

And herein lies the problem with "cultural appropriation" -- it's really just white people policing other white people. I am South Asian and I love when white people wear South Asian clothing to cultural and family events. Please, celebrate our culture, no offense taken!! Just don't put a god on your f_cking flip flops and tote bags, please. Do you see the difference?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this board is probably majority white, but I wonder if those of you saying “of course you can, you dummy!” Are not white. White people know you can’t wear stuff or hairstyles or anything of ethnicities where the people are not white without possibly being horribly offensive. We are constantly told we cannot do it. That’s fine with me, whatever makes other people comfortable is fine. But don’t act like this stuff is universally accepted.

You clearly aren't married to or good friends with someone from a different culture or you would already know the answer to OP's question - totally fine, shows respect and appreciation of the culture.

Now if you are a white person who wore a sari to your white friend's wedding in rural Kentucky, that would be weird.

Well, no. As someone from a different culture, I would not consider the answer to OP's question to be "totally fine."

There's no such thing as cultural appropriation unless you're a modern academic looking to publish an article. I'm honestly shocked DC claims to be so progressive yet is so anxious about exploring other cultures. Do you all show up to DC bbq and music festivals dressed up like WASPS? Are you deathly afraid of buying cultural trinkets from vendors at the farmers markets?