Anonymous
10/24/2022 21:21
Subject: What percentage of women mommy track themselves?
The Great Recession did it for me. I lost my job in 2008 while I was 5 months pregnant with my second kid. I tried interviewing for several jobs but no one would hire a visibly pregnant woman. So I reluctantly became a SAHM and my DH took on more work to make up for my losing my job. He made equity partner and somehow years went by and I was stuck still at home.
A few years ago a contact of mine reached out and asked me to come work for him in-house. I now work PT 20-25 hours a week, all from home. I feel so lucky to have a very flexible and well paying job with a great team.
A few years ago a contact of mine reached out and asked me to come work for him in-house. I now work PT 20-25 hours a week, all from home. I feel so lucky to have a very flexible and well paying job with a great team.
Anonymous
10/24/2022 12:17
Subject: Re:What percentage of women mommy track themselves?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Depends what you call mommy tracking.
For example among my friends, most of us of both genders left biglaw after a few years because we wanted better work-life balance. That was before any of us had kids and some still don't and don't plan to.
I think mommy tracking is a pejorative term that encompasses a lot of choices. If I make $300k for a WFH job where I am viewed as an expert in my field, am I "mommy tracking" because I'm not trying to be the CEO and I'm happy with my current schedule?
This. I make $500k total comp as a director and have no more ambition bc why? I turn down mtgs to go to Halloween parades. Did I mommy track? Idk.
This is my sister. She makes between $600-$900K a year but doesn't have ambitions to be the CEO of her company. Clearly she is doing well but if she wanted to seriously lean in she could make well over $1 million a year. But she has 2 years and a busy life.
Anonymous
10/24/2022 11:50
Subject: What percentage of women mommy track themselves?
I parent tracked myself. By not moving to a diff company with probably harder work a d maybe more $. I was never a gunner though. So im in a middle management position making just under $200k and its not too stressful and my schedule is my own and i can go to whatever kid event i want. I never had intense career ambitions to make a ton of money and work 60-80 hrs a week anyway.
Anonymous
10/24/2022 11:44
Subject: Re:What percentage of women mommy track themselves?
Anonymous wrote:Depends what you call mommy tracking.
For example among my friends, most of us of both genders left biglaw after a few years because we wanted better work-life balance. That was before any of us had kids and some still don't and don't plan to.
I think mommy tracking is a pejorative term that encompasses a lot of choices. If I make $300k for a WFH job where I am viewed as an expert in my field, am I "mommy tracking" because I'm not trying to be the CEO and I'm happy with my current schedule?
This. I make $500k total comp as a director and have no more ambition bc why? I turn down mtgs to go to Halloween parades. Did I mommy track? Idk.
Anonymous
10/24/2022 11:40
Subject: Re:What percentage of women mommy track themselves?
I definitely "mommy tracked" myself. While I was having kids I made around $65,000 for with very little raises for about 7 years. I did it for the amazing health insurance. Had 3 kids and have started to ramp up my work but still definitely have a mommy tracked job. I do all the drop off/pick ups, doctor appointments, field trips, etc. I make around $100,000 now and work from home 4 days a week.
DH is a partner in a law firm and has a much more demanding and stressful job. When he has time he helps with kid stuff and tries to go to all sporting events on the weekends and goes to teacher conferences but the day to day stuff I usually do.
DH is a partner in a law firm and has a much more demanding and stressful job. When he has time he helps with kid stuff and tries to go to all sporting events on the weekends and goes to teacher conferences but the day to day stuff I usually do.
Anonymous
10/24/2022 11:32
Subject: What percentage of women mommy track themselves?
Anonymous wrote:Both my husband and I have "parent tracked" ourselves. Or maybe just value life over work, even though we both enjoy our jobs (ofr the most part). We live close to work, work 40ish hours most weeks. We make really good salaries, though not DCUM good. Living the dream.
+1 my husband and I were just talking about this the other day. We both definitely parent tracked ourselves and continue to. We've made a lot of decisions along the way that mean we make less than we probably could have, but both have incredibly flexible jobs that mean we can both flex where we need to so it doesn't all fall on one person and have a great balance with lots of family time. Combined we still make a great salary (to us, not to much of DCUM) and live a good life. It's been right for us.
Most of my friends have mommy tracked in some ways though not all of them would have wanted to be gunners anyway, kids or not
Anonymous
10/24/2022 11:17
Subject: What percentage of women mommy track themselves?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Here's my sample of myself and 6 best friends.
Me: Staying in a boring job for the flexibility. It pays well and I WFH 8-4, but can largely make my schedule and work around no school days, kids appts, etc.
Friend 1: Special Ed teacher. Honestly surprised she's stayed at her job. She has a high earning DH and a nanny, but she LOVES her work.
Friend 2: The breadwinner. Her DH has been the SAHD for 4 years.
Friend 3: Another teacher. Still working, kid goes to a home daycare.
Friend 4: Just left to SAHM after having their second with unexpected medical needs. High earning DH.
Friend 5: Hair salon owner. Only actually does hair maybe 10-15 hours per week now in the evenings and has hired a manager to run the salon.
Friend 6: MSW who is pregnant with number 3. Says she'll continue working but I don't really see how or why. 2 kids are in daycare and next year would be 3 in daycare til the oldest goes to prek the following year. High earning DH.
So the key is just to marry rich? Got that, ladies? Marry well and you'll be fine.
Marrying rich gives you options, you can chill out and be a sahm; you can mommy track and maintain optics of working and have option to ramp up later in life; you can hire help and charge on at full speed. The truth is you can't raise children alone, you either get resources from a man, or family or have saved up a stash of nest egg. I don't see what's so hard to make choice based on this fact.
Anonymous
10/24/2022 10:37
Subject: What percentage of women mommy track themselves?
Anonymous wrote:Here's my sample of myself and 6 best friends.
Me: Staying in a boring job for the flexibility. It pays well and I WFH 8-4, but can largely make my schedule and work around no school days, kids appts, etc.
Friend 1: Special Ed teacher. Honestly surprised she's stayed at her job. She has a high earning DH and a nanny, but she LOVES her work.
Friend 2: The breadwinner. Her DH has been the SAHD for 4 years.
Friend 3: Another teacher. Still working, kid goes to a home daycare.
Friend 4: Just left to SAHM after having their second with unexpected medical needs. High earning DH.
Friend 5: Hair salon owner. Only actually does hair maybe 10-15 hours per week now in the evenings and has hired a manager to run the salon.
Friend 6: MSW who is pregnant with number 3. Says she'll continue working but I don't really see how or why. 2 kids are in daycare and next year would be 3 in daycare til the oldest goes to prek the following year. High earning DH.
So the key is just to marry rich? Got that, ladies? Marry well and you'll be fine.
Anonymous
10/24/2022 10:32
Subject: Re:What percentage of women mommy track themselves?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:A mixture. A bunch of us in government did not mommy track. That seems to be the common thread, but understand that means topping out at what to me is a great salary as a liberal arts major, but might not be such a great salary for others.
Isn't working for the government (outside of political appointments and SES) a form of mommy tracking, given the hours and stability?
Mommy tracking implies you are giving up a much more high earning career path, though. As the PP pointed out, for some (not all) federal jobs, government actually pays better than the alternative paths. This is particularly true if you are in a federal role with a humanities (versus science or something) background.
Anonymous
10/24/2022 10:30
Subject: Re:What percentage of women mommy track themselves?
Anonymous wrote:A mixture. A bunch of us in government did not mommy track. That seems to be the common thread, but understand that means topping out at what to me is a great salary as a liberal arts major, but might not be such a great salary for others.
Isn't working for the government (outside of political appointments and SES) a form of mommy tracking, given the hours and stability?
Anonymous
10/24/2022 10:28
Subject: What percentage of women mommy track themselves?
I "mommy" tracked myself and I don't even have kids. I just think there's more to life than pursuing money and prestigious titles. I found a balance where I could pay my bills, save a little, and have plenty of attention to give to hobbies and passion projects. I agree with the PPs who think the term mommy track is offensive and misogynistic. Better work-life balance should be an option for everyone who wants it, regardless of gender or family status.
Anonymous
10/24/2022 10:25
Subject: What percentage of women mommy track themselves?
Anonymous wrote:Here's my sample of myself and 6 best friends.
Me: Staying in a boring job for the flexibility. It pays well and I WFH 8-4, but can largely make my schedule and work around no school days, kids appts, etc.
Friend 1: Special Ed teacher. Honestly surprised she's stayed at her job. She has a high earning DH and a nanny, but she LOVES her work.
Friend 2: The breadwinner. Her DH has been the SAHD for 4 years.
Friend 3: Another teacher. Still working, kid goes to a home daycare.
Friend 4: Just left to SAHM after having their second with unexpected medical needs. High earning DH.
Friend 5: Hair salon owner. Only actually does hair maybe 10-15 hours per week now in the evenings and has hired a manager to run the salon.
Friend 6: MSW who is pregnant with number 3. Says she'll continue working but I don't really see how or why. 2 kids are in daycare and next year would be 3 in daycare til the oldest goes to prek the following year. High earning DH.
We need more teachers/people like Friend 1. I have a friend like this too, and honestly she is so much happier working (she's a high school teacher) and is a better mom to her kids because of it. They can live on her husband's salary, but she loves her job and her kids and her are both happier with their lives now and they've settled into a good school year routine.
Anonymous
10/24/2022 10:22
Subject: What percentage of women mommy track themselves?
My husband and I both have good incomes and flexible jobs. He works in sales and I work in tech and both of us had a lot of experience in our industry when we had kids which allowed us to have the type of flexibility and WFH we have.
Both of us started in our careers fairly young and didn't go to graduate school, though. So we were paying our dues, working longer hours, and working our way up before we had kids.
Both of us started in our careers fairly young and didn't go to graduate school, though. So we were paying our dues, working longer hours, and working our way up before we had kids.
Anonymous
10/24/2022 10:17
Subject: What percentage of women mommy track themselves?
Here's my sample of myself and 6 best friends.
Me: Staying in a boring job for the flexibility. It pays well and I WFH 8-4, but can largely make my schedule and work around no school days, kids appts, etc.
Friend 1: Special Ed teacher. Honestly surprised she's stayed at her job. She has a high earning DH and a nanny, but she LOVES her work.
Friend 2: The breadwinner. Her DH has been the SAHD for 4 years.
Friend 3: Another teacher. Still working, kid goes to a home daycare.
Friend 4: Just left to SAHM after having their second with unexpected medical needs. High earning DH.
Friend 5: Hair salon owner. Only actually does hair maybe 10-15 hours per week now in the evenings and has hired a manager to run the salon.
Friend 6: MSW who is pregnant with number 3. Says she'll continue working but I don't really see how or why. 2 kids are in daycare and next year would be 3 in daycare til the oldest goes to prek the following year. High earning DH.
Me: Staying in a boring job for the flexibility. It pays well and I WFH 8-4, but can largely make my schedule and work around no school days, kids appts, etc.
Friend 1: Special Ed teacher. Honestly surprised she's stayed at her job. She has a high earning DH and a nanny, but she LOVES her work.
Friend 2: The breadwinner. Her DH has been the SAHD for 4 years.
Friend 3: Another teacher. Still working, kid goes to a home daycare.
Friend 4: Just left to SAHM after having their second with unexpected medical needs. High earning DH.
Friend 5: Hair salon owner. Only actually does hair maybe 10-15 hours per week now in the evenings and has hired a manager to run the salon.
Friend 6: MSW who is pregnant with number 3. Says she'll continue working but I don't really see how or why. 2 kids are in daycare and next year would be 3 in daycare til the oldest goes to prek the following year. High earning DH.
Anonymous
10/24/2022 09:45
Subject: What percentage of women mommy track themselves?
Or tech, like a FAANG.