I really just do not understand pushy people. If someone doesn’t want to chat with you why do you think forcing it will yield an enjoyable experience? It’s the same as relatives trying to invite themselves to things. Why would you want to force yourself into an event where you weren’t invited.
We have a few relatives like this and the more they push, the more everyone avoids them.

Regardless, your mom pushing and pushing, is her problem. Not yours and not your husbands. She doesn’t get to dictate that your husband will chat with her weekly. You don’t need to explain or justify. Just say no and move on and don’t let her put her monkey on your back.

You should tell off your mother, OP. She's WAY out of bounds.

My mother comes from a family where people "visited" each other and one was supposed to sit politely in the drawing room, balancing a cup of tea and slice of cake, making conversation. How my introverted father endured it, I don't know. ***Times are different now***.

My husband (whom my parents did not like at first!) has a good relationship with my parents, but only because they're NOT pushy, and let him weave in and out of the conversation. No one expects him to sit and show his face and make small talk. Likewise, it would be torture for me to do that with his mother. We get along great, but I still wouldn't stay for an entire call or Facetime! I occasionally chime in when my husband calls her, and she's perfectly fine with that.

Your mother has to drag herself into the 21st century and accept that mores have changed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here; another point I wanted to add, if they're so interested in communicating with DH, they have his phone number, and they're more than welcome to text/call him (which they've never done in the 9 years we've been together.)

So you think them texting/calling him directly would be a better fit than him popping in for 5 minutes, using you and your daughter as cover, to participate in a FaceTime call. You are justifying your husband being a brat.

Anonymous wrote:“Mom, stop being so ridiculous. These calls are for you to talk to our daughter. If you are just going to complain, we can do them once a month instead.”

Do this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You didn't give any valid reason why your husband couldn't pop in for 5 minutes and be polite.

You don’t give any valid reason why he should?

Because his MIL would like to visit with him. It is also good for their daughter to see the relationship. He has social anxiety that makes a 10 minute conversation with his wife & daughter as the focus difficult. Also it is manners, when I was a kid if someone came in the house (today's facetime) we at least greeted them and asked how they were.

Honestly the social anxiety is the worrisome part. OP will be back in 5 years saying how her husband won't interact with other families and they're not invited to events.

You sound crazy, this man does not need to be forced to FaceTime every week.

Anonymous wrote:You didn't give any valid reason why your husband couldn't pop in for 5 minutes and be polite.

She doesn’t need a reason. He is not required to FT every week with his in-laws. Done.

Your mom sounds like a control freak. Her repeated insistence is very rude.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here; another point I wanted to add, if they're so interested in communicating with DH, they have his phone number, and they're more than welcome to text/call him (which they've never done in the 9 years we've been together.)

So you think them texting/calling him directly would be a better fit than him popping in for 5 minutes, using you and your daughter as cover, to participate in a FaceTime call. You are justifying your husband being a brat.

How is he being a brat? Who wants to commit to a weekly command performance like that? Sometimes Ed he pops in and sometimes he does not. It’s a wonder the two yr old participates. I have one , her interest in a phone or FT call has about a 5-15 min lifespan. Your parents expect a lot. Talk to who shows up and get over it.

Mom has gotten pushier and pushier

Re: anything
Unimportant

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just say he’s not interested in FaceTiming. This is your mom’s issue.

Pretty much the only answer here.

Your mom isn't in charge of your dh and he owes them nothing.

+1

+3

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just say he’s not interested in FaceTiming. This is your mom’s issue.

Pretty much the only answer here.

Your mom isn't in charge of your dh and he owes them nothing.

+1

Anonymous wrote:Your husband needs to learn to deal with his poor social skills. Having a young child is going to offer more opportunities to interact with others, he needs to be able to do it.

That’s funny, I was thinking her mom needs to work on her poor social skills and ability to understand social cues. She should stop nagging about how what she is getting isn’t enough, because that often makes people give less instead of more. It’s also extremely poor form to criticize someone’s spouse to their partner, as though they’re responsible for their partner’s social interactions. Having adult children means you let go of managing their etiquette and social calendar (and that of your children’s family), and MIL needs to be able to do that.

Anonymous wrote:Just say he’s not interested in FaceTiming. This is your mom’s issue.

Pretty much the only answer here.

Your mom isn't in charge of your dh and he owes them nothing.

OP it sounds like your parents are pushy and nosy not just extroverted. Your husband probably can’t stand them trying to squeeze something out of him. I’m not an introvert, actually I’m quite introverted but I can not stand adults that constantly demand attention.

Tell your mom to stop being pushy and intrusive.

Anonymous wrote:You can’t. Just keep doing what you’re doing.

She wants to get to know him too! That’s a good thing - she is looking to connect. If FaceTime isn’t his way, that’s fine too, but it probably comes from a good place. Have DH say a quick hi before going to the store or whatever most times - it won’t hurt him to try a little.

- fellow introvert with in-laws I just don’t click with

This is how we deal w/my introvert husband interacting with my awful mother.