Anonymous wrote:You talk to your kid, and the teacher and counselor. Don't talk to their parents, that never goes well. What do you mean by "being mean"?

My son and his friend didn’t get along last year. The mom accused my son of being mean, exclusive and being a bully. My son said the other kid was pushing him, saying inappropriate things and spreading rumors so I told my son to try to avoid the boy. The mom went to the school several times and texted me a bunch.

I am not interested in any type of relationship with this family.

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Anonymous wrote:Nope. I talk to the kid directly.

You talk to other people's children directly you mean?

Yep. Not sure how that wasn't clear.

NP here. Do you go to the kid's house after school for this conversation, or what?

(Knock knock)
Is Billy home?
(Billy comes to door.)
This is Mrs. Smith, Fred's mom. I heard about what you said to Fred at recess today. If I ever hear about you doing that again, you'll be scared to walk out of your house the next morning.

Something like that maybe?

Like the Sopranos?

My dad did this back in the day. The kid was a little $hit to me for months. He was twice my size and would push me and make me fall down and I would go home crying. My dad went over there and threatened the kid. Never happened again. It was the 80s and no one batted an eye. That kid grew up to be a bigger $hit, but he left me alone.

Right. Guarantee you that kid got beaten up by his dad that night.

He lived with his mom only. Dad lived in California and saw him 2 weeks a year.

Poor kid that is sad.

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Anonymous wrote:Nope. I talk to the kid directly.

You talk to other people's children directly you mean?

Yep. Not sure how that wasn't clear.

NP here. Do you go to the kid's house after school for this conversation, or what?

(Knock knock)
Is Billy home?
(Billy comes to door.)
This is Mrs. Smith, Fred's mom. I heard about what you said to Fred at recess today. If I ever hear about you doing that again, you'll be scared to walk out of your house the next morning.

Something like that maybe?

Like the Sopranos?

My dad did this back in the day. The kid was a little $hit to me for months. He was twice my size and would push me and make me fall down and I would go home crying. My dad went over there and threatened the kid. Never happened again. It was the 80s and no one batted an eye. That kid grew up to be a bigger $hit, but he left me alone.

Right. Guarantee you that kid got beaten up by his dad that night.

He lived with his mom only. Dad lived in California and saw him 2 weeks a year.

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Anonymous wrote:Nope. I talk to the kid directly.

You talk to other people's children directly you mean?

Yep. Not sure how that wasn't clear.

NP here. Do you go to the kid's house after school for this conversation, or what?

(Knock knock)
Is Billy home?
(Billy comes to door.)
This is Mrs. Smith, Fred's mom. I heard about what you said to Fred at recess today. If I ever hear about you doing that again, you'll be scared to walk out of your house the next morning.

Something like that maybe?

Like the Sopranos?

My dad did this back in the day. The kid was a little $hit to me for months. He was twice my size and would push me and make me fall down and I would go home crying. My dad went over there and threatened the kid. Never happened again. It was the 80s and no one batted an eye. That kid grew up to be a bigger $hit, but he left me alone.

Right. Guarantee you that kid got beaten up by his dad that night.

This kid used to torment me on the bus. He would sit behind me and say horrible things everyday, it was agonizing. I would come home and cry. Once I came home and shut the door and screamed. He was still walking on the street home from the bus and my mom went out and said if he continued harassing me he'd have to deal with her. and he never did it again

Okay but this is a knee jerk reaction from your mom. Had she met the bus and told the driver/school to sit you somewhere else? She could have threatened him in other ways than just “I’m more powerful and you will have to deal with me!”

I mean this wasn’t an absolutely horrible way to handle it:
- the kid wasn’t confronted at his house where his assuredly messed up parents were told and could beat him for his bad behavior.
- she didn’t do it on school grounds

Look, all the parents on here who are saying “I’m going to teach a kid a lesson by showing him the most powerful person (the adult) wins.” Is just maintaining the status quo the bully already knows: that more powerful people “win.” Idealist that I am, I think it can be handled better and try to do so with my kids.

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Anonymous wrote:Nope. I talk to the kid directly.

If I saw you stepping to my kid I would start raging

Ooh, scary soccer mom! Everyone is terrified of your “rage.”

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Anonymous wrote:Nope. I talk to the kid directly.

You talk to other people's children directly you mean?

Yep. Not sure how that wasn't clear.

This sucks and is inappropriate.

Someone did this to my kid in 4th grade. Went up to him at school and told him to stop "picking on" her daughter. Facts are her daughter was the instigator and a known bully. To everyone apparently except her own mother. I was PISSED. I told my son if this woman ever spoke to him again in any setting to tell me immediately and I'd report her to the principal.

Do not go up to other people's children.

100%. If you ever approach my child directly to fix their behavior, you will be hearing from me and from the school, and I will be telling everyone else that knows you to avoid you because you are nuts. Totally inappropriate. It happened to me once when my kid was in preschool. The preschool ended up counseling that family out because they recognized how messed up it is to think you can approach a child and try to intimidate them based on hearsay from your own child. There is a 50/50 chance that your child is not telling you the whole story. And even if they are telling you the whole story, it is still not appropriate to get in the face of a child, when they see you as a stranger, and give them your advice on how they should shape up.

Holy $hit.

Neat. No one cares. And you don’t decide that they’ll “be hearing from the school.”

Teach your kids to behave.

No, because in almost every case, when I’ve met the brat’s parents, they’re every bit as nasty as their kid.

Tell the teacher.

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Anonymous wrote:Nope. I talk to the kid directly.

You talk to other people's children directly you mean?

Yep. Not sure how that wasn't clear.

NP here. Do you go to the kid's house after school for this conversation, or what?

(Knock knock)
Is Billy home?
(Billy comes to door.)
This is Mrs. Smith, Fred's mom. I heard about what you said to Fred at recess today. If I ever hear about you doing that again, you'll be scared to walk out of your house the next morning.

Something like that maybe?

Like the Sopranos?

My dad did this back in the day. The kid was a little $hit to me for months. He was twice my size and would push me and make me fall down and I would go home crying. My dad went over there and threatened the kid. Never happened again. It was the 80s and no one batted an eye. That kid grew up to be a bigger $hit, but he left me alone.

Right. Guarantee you that kid got beaten up by his dad that night.

This kid used to torment me on the bus. He would sit behind me and say horrible things everyday, it was agonizing. I would come home and cry. Once I came home and shut the door and screamed. He was still walking on the street home from the bus and my mom went out and said if he continued harassing me he'd have to deal with her. and he never did it again

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. I talk to the kid directly.

You talk to other people's children directly you mean?

Yep. Not sure how that wasn't clear.

NP here. Do you go to the kid's house after school for this conversation, or what?

(Knock knock)
Is Billy home?
(Billy comes to door.)
This is Mrs. Smith, Fred's mom. I heard about what you said to Fred at recess today. If I ever hear about you doing that again, you'll be scared to walk out of your house the next morning.

Something like that maybe?

Like the Sopranos?

My dad did this back in the day. The kid was a little $hit to me for months. He was twice my size and would push me and make me fall down and I would go home crying. My dad went over there and threatened the kid. Never happened again. It was the 80s and no one batted an eye. That kid grew up to be a bigger $hit, but he left me alone.

Right. Guarantee you that kid got beaten up by his dad that night.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. I talk to the kid directly.

You talk to other people's children directly you mean?

Yep. Not sure how that wasn't clear.

NP here. Do you go to the kid's house after school for this conversation, or what?

(Knock knock)
Is Billy home?
(Billy comes to door.)
This is Mrs. Smith, Fred's mom. I heard about what you said to Fred at recess today. If I ever hear about you doing that again, you'll be scared to walk out of your house the next morning.

Something like that maybe?

Like the Sopranos?

My dad did this back in the day. The kid was a little $hit to me for months. He was twice my size and would push me and make me fall down and I would go home crying. My dad went over there and threatened the kid. Never happened again. It was the 80s and no one batted an eye. That kid grew up to be a bigger $hit, but he left me alone.

Parent knocked on our door once to accuse DC or all sorts of atrocities against their DC. We immediately went to the school and none of it was true (entire incident witnessed by several teachers/staff). By that time, lunatic parent had told several other families their kid's version. I had planned to keep the situation private but had to set the record straight, even when it showed their family's true colors. Manipulative kid left the school at the end of the year.

Moral of the story: Don't go knocking on doors until you have verified all the facts.

My vote is for don’t say anything to the parent. You really can’t know the dynamics in the classroom, anyone who might be involved, what’s really going on etc. etc. so, if anything, I would speak to the teacher and continue talking to my child about it.

Just ask the teacher to get involved and sort it all out…

Anonymous wrote:Nope. I talk to the kid directly.

If I saw you stepping to my kid I would start raging

Anonymous wrote:Nope. I talk to the kid directly.

The fact that you say this, knowing people will argue with you, and looking forward to it, is very sad. There are better ways to have human interaction and get attention. A qualified therapist should be able to help you.