Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pretty much. My kids go to UVA where there is plenty of on grounds housing but many second years decide to get apartments. Mine did and had signed leases by Nov 1st. Things started moving on and off the market super fast once Oct 1st hit.

How do kids have strong enough friendships in Oct of first year to commit to living with each other the following year? When I started college (many moons ago), the friendshios made in the first few weeks tended to be friendships of convenience, and then later in the semester “real” friendshios emerged which sometimes included thise first friends but often did not.

I guess we were in luck. My DD is best friends with her now roommate and they were already very close by mid October. My DS is living with his first year roommate because they were a perfect match along with one other friend. They have a four bedroom apartment so they recruited a fourth by January who they get along with but we’re not really friends per se. I think it will work out well for them.

I know if one of my DDs friend group who is living with a group she’s not really friends with anymore but they are not enemies, so it’s just a matter of sharing an apartment, which is much easier than sharing a dorm room.

I will say that alot changed for the girls after rush, friendships changed and new ones formed but I think for the most part the kids have not made enemies of each other so they can still live together.

I have heard otherwise from students at UVA. It is a reason I want my HS senior to think twice about applying ED there.

What exactly have you heard? Sure some roommate relationships don’t work out but I don’t personally know why right now amongst my UVA kids. What exactly are you trying to avoid by not allowing your kid to apply ED?

I did hear this from a second year student there. I heard during the first year that it was stressful to have to pick roommates after only being at school a short time. Fast forward to now and she doesn't like her living situation because she's with people she'd rather not be. I am trying to avoid my DD who is anxious anyway from having to make this type of decision during the very first few months of school, which are overwhelming anyway. I think it is a major flaw in how the school's housing is run. I'm frankly surprised others don't think it is a big deal. Some kids are that laid back, I guess. My kid is not.

I totally agree with you. My DS is a jr and this is something we are considering in the college search. He’s shy and I don’t think it’s good for that to be a looming decision when school has barely started. I don’t know about UVA specifically, so I don’t know if there are, in fact, good on campus options but it all just seems like unnecessary stress.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pretty much. My kids go to UVA where there is plenty of on grounds housing but many second years decide to get apartments. Mine did and had signed leases by Nov 1st. Things started moving on and off the market super fast once Oct 1st hit.

How do kids have strong enough friendships in Oct of first year to commit to living with each other the following year? When I started college (many moons ago), the friendshios made in the first few weeks tended to be friendships of convenience, and then later in the semester “real” friendshios emerged which sometimes included thise first friends but often did not.

I guess we were in luck. My DD is best friends with her now roommate and they were already very close by mid October. My DS is living with his first year roommate because they were a perfect match along with one other friend. They have a four bedroom apartment so they recruited a fourth by January who they get along with but we’re not really friends per se. I think it will work out well for them.

I know if one of my DDs friend group who is living with a group she’s not really friends with anymore but they are not enemies, so it’s just a matter of sharing an apartment, which is much easier than sharing a dorm room.

I will say that alot changed for the girls after rush, friendships changed and new ones formed but I think for the most part the kids have not made enemies of each other so they can still live together.

I have heard otherwise from students at UVA. It is a reason I want my HS senior to think twice about applying ED there.

New poster. Our DC had heard a lot about the "you have to go off campus after freshman year" housing situations at a lot of large, state schools (not just UVA) and that was one factor in DC's choosing a small liberal arts college where housing was guaranteed all four years and there really was no culture of living off campus (and no housing stock close to campus anyway). Plenty of practice "adulting" by living in a townhouse with other students as a senior, but it was college housing. PP, have your kid look at schools with guaranteed four-year housing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pretty much. My kids go to UVA where there is plenty of on grounds housing but many second years decide to get apartments. Mine did and had signed leases by Nov 1st. Things started moving on and off the market super fast once Oct 1st hit.

How do kids have strong enough friendships in Oct of first year to commit to living with each other the following year? When I started college (many moons ago), the friendshios made in the first few weeks tended to be friendships of convenience, and then later in the semester “real” friendshios emerged which sometimes included thise first friends but often did not.

I guess we were in luck. My DD is best friends with her now roommate and they were already very close by mid October. My DS is living with his first year roommate because they were a perfect match along with one other friend. They have a four bedroom apartment so they recruited a fourth by January who they get along with but we’re not really friends per se. I think it will work out well for them.

I know if one of my DDs friend group who is living with a group she’s not really friends with anymore but they are not enemies, so it’s just a matter of sharing an apartment, which is much easier than sharing a dorm room.

I will say that alot changed for the girls after rush, friendships changed and new ones formed but I think for the most part the kids have not made enemies of each other so they can still live together.

I have heard otherwise from students at UVA. It is a reason I want my HS senior to think twice about applying ED there.

What exactly have you heard? Sure some roommate relationships don’t work out but I don’t personally know why right now amongst my UVA kids. What exactly are you trying to avoid by not allowing your kid to apply ED?

I did hear this from a second year student there. I heard during the first year that it was stressful to have to pick roommates after only being at school a short time. Fast forward to now and she doesn't like her living situation because she's with people she'd rather not be. I am trying to avoid my DD who is anxious anyway from having to make this type of decision during the very first few months of school, which are overwhelming anyway. I think it is a major flaw in how the school's housing is run. I'm frankly surprised others don't think it is a big deal. Some kids are that laid back, I guess. My kid is not.

I don't understand how this is a UVA problem. You are not being clear. Students can pick their own roommates for first year, etc., on. My DS picked his online. Or the school will pair you with one. The second year he just let himself be assigned and would up with three other men in a quad dorm. Next year and fourth he was in an apartment with friends. So you can pick your own or be assigned. I don't understand your point

I'm not the person to whom you're responding but:

Freshmen -- who have been at school for mere WEEKS --are expected to pick other freshmen they've only know for those weeks as the people with whom they will commit to live, in a year's time, for an entire school year.

It's asking kids, for whom this is probalby their first experience of living away from home, to make judgements about virtual strangers as potential roommates and then lock those commitments into place. If they could pick sophomore year roommates in, say, spring of freshman year, not just weeks into fall of freshman year, they would make better choices because they would actually know their potential roommates much better by spring. But the insane forcing everyone to scramble for spots so very early - means students are flailing around trying to find roommates nearly a YEAR in advance, from a pool of kids they barely know at that point. It's a recipe for crappy relationships, tension and stress.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pretty much. My kids go to UVA where there is plenty of on grounds housing but many second years decide to get apartments. Mine did and had signed leases by Nov 1st. Things started moving on and off the market super fast once Oct 1st hit.

How do kids have strong enough friendships in Oct of first year to commit to living with each other the following year? When I started college (many moons ago), the friendshios made in the first few weeks tended to be friendships of convenience, and then later in the semester “real” friendshios emerged which sometimes included thise first friends but often did not.

I guess we were in luck. My DD is best friends with her now roommate and they were already very close by mid October. My DS is living with his first year roommate because they were a perfect match along with one other friend. They have a four bedroom apartment so they recruited a fourth by January who they get along with but we’re not really friends per se. I think it will work out well for them.

I know if one of my DDs friend group who is living with a group she’s not really friends with anymore but they are not enemies, so it’s just a matter of sharing an apartment, which is much easier than sharing a dorm room.

I will say that alot changed for the girls after rush, friendships changed and new ones formed but I think for the most part the kids have not made enemies of each other so they can still live together.

I have heard otherwise from students at UVA. It is a reason I want my HS senior to think twice about applying ED there.

What exactly have you heard? Sure some roommate relationships don’t work out but I don’t personally know why right now amongst my UVA kids. What exactly are you trying to avoid by not allowing your kid to apply ED?

I did hear this from a second year student there. I heard during the first year that it was stressful to have to pick roommates after only being at school a short time. Fast forward to now and she doesn't like her living situation because she's with people she'd rather not be. I am trying to avoid my DD who is anxious anyway from having to make this type of decision during the very first few months of school, which are overwhelming anyway. I think it is a major flaw in how the school's housing is run. I'm frankly surprised others don't think it is a big deal. Some kids are that laid back, I guess. My kid is not.

I don't understand how this is a UVA problem. You are not being clear. Students can pick their own roommates for first year, etc., on. My DS picked his online. Or the school will pair you with one. The second year he just let himself be assigned and would up with three other men in a quad dorm. Next year and fourth he was in an apartment with friends. So you can pick your own or be assigned. I don't understand your point

The problem is that most second years live off campus and the timing is such that you have to choose your roommates for your second year in September or October of your first year. This is due to the timing of leases. So first years need to choose who they want to live with next year before friendships have solidified.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pretty much. My kids go to UVA where there is plenty of on grounds housing but many second years decide to get apartments. Mine did and had signed leases by Nov 1st. Things started moving on and off the market super fast once Oct 1st hit.

How do kids have strong enough friendships in Oct of first year to commit to living with each other the following year? When I started college (many moons ago), the friendshios made in the first few weeks tended to be friendships of convenience, and then later in the semester “real” friendshios emerged which sometimes included thise first friends but often did not.

I guess we were in luck. My DD is best friends with her now roommate and they were already very close by mid October. My DS is living with his first year roommate because they were a perfect match along with one other friend. They have a four bedroom apartment so they recruited a fourth by January who they get along with but we’re not really friends per se. I think it will work out well for them.

I know if one of my DDs friend group who is living with a group she’s not really friends with anymore but they are not enemies, so it’s just a matter of sharing an apartment, which is much easier than sharing a dorm room.

I will say that alot changed for the girls after rush, friendships changed and new ones formed but I think for the most part the kids have not made enemies of each other so they can still live together.

I have heard otherwise from students at UVA. It is a reason I want my HS senior to think twice about applying ED there.

What exactly have you heard? Sure some roommate relationships don’t work out but I don’t personally know why right now amongst my UVA kids. What exactly are you trying to avoid by not allowing your kid to apply ED?

I did hear this from a second year student there. I heard during the first year that it was stressful to have to pick roommates after only being at school a short time. Fast forward to now and she doesn't like her living situation because she's with people she'd rather not be. I am trying to avoid my DD who is anxious anyway from having to make this type of decision during the very first few months of school, which are overwhelming anyway. I think it is a major flaw in how the school's housing is run. I'm frankly surprised others don't think it is a big deal. Some kids are that laid back, I guess. My kid is not.

I don't understand how this is a UVA problem. You are not being clear. Students can pick their own roommates for first year, etc., on. My DS picked his online. Or the school will pair you with one. The second year he just let himself be assigned and would up with three other men in a quad dorm. Next year and fourth he was in an apartment with friends. So you can pick your own or be assigned. I don't understand your point

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pretty much. My kids go to UVA where there is plenty of on grounds housing but many second years decide to get apartments. Mine did and had signed leases by Nov 1st. Things started moving on and off the market super fast once Oct 1st hit.

How do kids have strong enough friendships in Oct of first year to commit to living with each other the following year? When I started college (many moons ago), the friendshios made in the first few weeks tended to be friendships of convenience, and then later in the semester “real” friendshios emerged which sometimes included thise first friends but often did not.

I guess we were in luck. My DD is best friends with her now roommate and they were already very close by mid October. My DS is living with his first year roommate because they were a perfect match along with one other friend. They have a four bedroom apartment so they recruited a fourth by January who they get along with but we’re not really friends per se. I think it will work out well for them.

I know if one of my DDs friend group who is living with a group she’s not really friends with anymore but they are not enemies, so it’s just a matter of sharing an apartment, which is much easier than sharing a dorm room.

I will say that alot changed for the girls after rush, friendships changed and new ones formed but I think for the most part the kids have not made enemies of each other so they can still live together.

I have heard otherwise from students at UVA. It is a reason I want my HS senior to think twice about applying ED there.

What exactly have you heard? Sure some roommate relationships don’t work out but I don’t personally know why right now amongst my UVA kids. What exactly are you trying to avoid by not allowing your kid to apply ED?

I did hear this from a second year student there. I heard during the first year that it was stressful to have to pick roommates after only being at school a short time. Fast forward to now and she doesn't like her living situation because she's with people she'd rather not be. I am trying to avoid my DD who is anxious anyway from having to make this type of decision during the very first few months of school, which are overwhelming anyway. I think it is a major flaw in how the school's housing is run. I'm frankly surprised others don't think it is a big deal. Some kids are that laid back, I guess. My kid is not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pretty much. My kids go to UVA where there is plenty of on grounds housing but many second years decide to get apartments. Mine did and had signed leases by Nov 1st. Things started moving on and off the market super fast once Oct 1st hit.

How do kids have strong enough friendships in Oct of first year to commit to living with each other the following year? When I started college (many moons ago), the friendshios made in the first few weeks tended to be friendships of convenience, and then later in the semester “real” friendshios emerged which sometimes included thise first friends but often did not.

I guess we were in luck. My DD is best friends with her now roommate and they were already very close by mid October. My DS is living with his first year roommate because they were a perfect match along with one other friend. They have a four bedroom apartment so they recruited a fourth by January who they get along with but we’re not really friends per se. I think it will work out well for them.

I know if one of my DDs friend group who is living with a group she’s not really friends with anymore but they are not enemies, so it’s just a matter of sharing an apartment, which is much easier than sharing a dorm room.

I will say that alot changed for the girls after rush, friendships changed and new ones formed but I think for the most part the kids have not made enemies of each other so they can still live together.

I have heard otherwise from students at UVA. It is a reason I want my HS senior to think twice about applying ED there.

What exactly have you heard? Sure some roommate relationships don’t work out but I don’t personally know why right now amongst my UVA kids. What exactly are you trying to avoid by not allowing your kid to apply ED?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pretty much. My kids go to UVA where there is plenty of on grounds housing but many second years decide to get apartments. Mine did and had signed leases by Nov 1st. Things started moving on and off the market super fast once Oct 1st hit.

How do kids have strong enough friendships in Oct of first year to commit to living with each other the following year? When I started college (many moons ago), the friendshios made in the first few weeks tended to be friendships of convenience, and then later in the semester “real” friendshios emerged which sometimes included thise first friends but often did not.

My DD does not communicate with any of the three other roommates from her freshman year. She is now living with four other girls in a five bath five bedroom apartment close to campus. She only knew one of the girls from her sorority. She has already decided she wants to live on her own next year as she is tired of cleaning the kitchen after everyone else.

She pay the rent?

Using her school loans and money she earned for college, yes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pretty much. My kids go to UVA where there is plenty of on grounds housing but many second years decide to get apartments. Mine did and had signed leases by Nov 1st. Things started moving on and off the market super fast once Oct 1st hit.

How do kids have strong enough friendships in Oct of first year to commit to living with each other the following year? When I started college (many moons ago), the friendshios made in the first few weeks tended to be friendships of convenience, and then later in the semester “real” friendshios emerged which sometimes included thise first friends but often did not.

I guess we were in luck. My DD is best friends with her now roommate and they were already very close by mid October. My DS is living with his first year roommate because they were a perfect match along with one other friend. They have a four bedroom apartment so they recruited a fourth by January who they get along with but we’re not really friends per se. I think it will work out well for them.

I know if one of my DDs friend group who is living with a group she’s not really friends with anymore but they are not enemies, so it’s just a matter of sharing an apartment, which is much easier than sharing a dorm room.

I will say that alot changed for the girls after rush, friendships changed and new ones formed but I think for the most part the kids have not made enemies of each other so they can still live together.

I have heard otherwise from students at UVA. It is a reason I want my HS senior to think twice about applying ED there.

I'm a UVA parent. Very happy. Happy with dorm and later apartment selection and roommates. Kid didn't do Greek. I don't understand your point. And whatever your point is, wouldn't that be the same at any other institution? ED at UVA is a financial miracle for a lot of parents. I hope you don't throw that baby out with the bathwater over some rumor a bitter person made (usually by a parent or a student who didn't get in).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is definitely something to look into when you are visiting colleges. At least so you are prepared for what lies ahead. I know it is common in large schools and urban areas, especially.

Just to let prospective students know, in virtually all of the SLAC's that my kid visited, you were guaranteed housing on campus for all 4 years. At most, they morph into university-owved apartments or shared houses (vs dorm rooms) for older students.

We really liked the convenience of not having to lease apartments each year. It allowed her to roll out of bed five minutes before classes. Each residence hall had a kitchen in the basement, but most kids did not cook for themselves, which also saves time (no need to buy groceries, clean dishes, etc).

Way to coddle. Well done!

It was my kid's preference. It allowed her to focus on school (she will have plenty of time to "adult" over the next decade). It worked for our family and there is no reason to attack someone trying to share her experience.

I loved living in a dorm in college.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pretty much. My kids go to UVA where there is plenty of on grounds housing but many second years decide to get apartments. Mine did and had signed leases by Nov 1st. Things started moving on and off the market super fast once Oct 1st hit.

How do kids have strong enough friendships in Oct of first year to commit to living with each other the following year? When I started college (many moons ago), the friendshios made in the first few weeks tended to be friendships of convenience, and then later in the semester “real” friendshios emerged which sometimes included thise first friends but often did not.

I guess we were in luck. My DD is best friends with her now roommate and they were already very close by mid October. My DS is living with his first year roommate because they were a perfect match along with one other friend. They have a four bedroom apartment so they recruited a fourth by January who they get along with but we’re not really friends per se. I think it will work out well for them.

I know if one of my DDs friend group who is living with a group she’s not really friends with anymore but they are not enemies, so it’s just a matter of sharing an apartment, which is much easier than sharing a dorm room.

I will say that alot changed for the girls after rush, friendships changed and new ones formed but I think for the most part the kids have not made enemies of each other so they can still live together.

I have heard otherwise from students at UVA. It is a reason I want my HS senior to think twice about applying ED there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pretty much. My kids go to UVA where there is plenty of on grounds housing but many second years decide to get apartments. Mine did and had signed leases by Nov 1st. Things started moving on and off the market super fast once Oct 1st hit.

How do kids have strong enough friendships in Oct of first year to commit to living with each other the following year? When I started college (many moons ago), the friendshios made in the first few weeks tended to be friendships of convenience, and then later in the semester “real” friendshios emerged which sometimes included thise first friends but often did not.

My DD does not communicate with any of the three other roommates from her freshman year. She is now living with four other girls in a five bath five bedroom apartment close to campus. She only knew one of the girls from her sorority. She has already decided she wants to live on her own next year as she is tired of cleaning the kitchen after everyone else.

Your DD sounds like a peach.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pretty much. My kids go to UVA where there is plenty of on grounds housing but many second years decide to get apartments. Mine did and had signed leases by Nov 1st. Things started moving on and off the market super fast once Oct 1st hit.

How do kids have strong enough friendships in Oct of first year to commit to living with each other the following year? When I started college (many moons ago), the friendshios made in the first few weeks tended to be friendships of convenience, and then later in the semester “real” friendshios emerged which sometimes included thise first friends but often did not.

My DD does not communicate with any of the three other roommates from her freshman year. She is now living with four other girls in a five bath five bedroom apartment close to campus. She only knew one of the girls from her sorority. She has already decided she wants to live on her own next year as she is tired of cleaning the kitchen after everyone else.

She pay the rent?

I am a reasonably hands off parent. I lived in a $4!thole in Junior and Senior year of college- we were robbed twice. We paid too much. My oldest also lives in a dump that is overpriced, but very convenient. College kids are just that…kids. I think most of them have parents that are paying the rent. I think they can definitely use some guidance as the vast majority of them have never done anything remotely like this before. In retrospect, I wish my parents had been involved.

Anonymous wrote:

Roommates are people you can cohabitate with. They don’t have to be your besties.

The inverse of this is something my DD noted. Two of her friends she met freshman year lived with their BFFs freshman year. Now neither of them communicate in any way with their respective former BFF’s.

Also, We traveled for a week with one of my DD’s BFFs when they were in high school. Now they never talk either.