Anonymous
Post 09/06/2022 17:23     Subject: Re:Waiting for marriage
My DH and I met at the end of our first year in college and were both virgins. I just didn’t feel ready and (even with double forms of birth control) didn’t want to risk pregnancy that young and with someone I didn’t know well. We dated all of sophomore year without having PIV sex and eventually lost our virginity early in junior year. Ultimately we got married a decade after we started dating so we’ve been together 24 years but married 14. Our sex life is decent (a few times a month). We have pretty high libidos but sometimes young kids / busy jobs etc get in the way.
Anonymous
Post 09/03/2022 22:05     Subject: Re:Waiting for marriage
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My wife and I waited. Dated two years, married for 27 now.

You are not alone, OP.


did you masturbate until marriage? did you abstain from everything for those two years or just intercourse?


Did you marry at 22? Pretty sure you guys were not virgins getting married at 35.
Anonymous
Post 09/03/2022 22:04     Subject: Waiting for marriage
Anonymous wrote:How old are you, OP?


This matters. I waited to have sex for after dating my boyfriend for 8 months, when I was 17.

I think waiting a long time (several months) is acceptable up to a certain age. I would say past early 20s, sex is an expected part of a serious relationship for majority of adults. This doesn’t mean you must have sex on a first, second, third date. If a man/woman is really interested in you and wants a relationship, waiting weeks or a couple months may be reasonable. But several months or into years of no sex until marriage is not something most adults would be willing to do for you
Anonymous
Post 09/03/2022 16:18     Subject: Waiting for marriage
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I dated my college sweetheart for several years and married him when I was 25. Both of us were virgins on our wedding night. Happily married for 35 years now. I think that waiting for sex till we were 25 made us appreciative of sex and we both have high libido.

Contrary to popular opinion, not having had sex with other people did not hamper us. We are self-taught (duh... not rocket science), adventurous, curious, high libido and we came into the marriage without any baggage. In fact I am shocked to discover on DCUM that people go years in a marriage without having sex!!

We have a great, uninhibited sex life even now. Maybe all the sexual deprivation of early years have made a life-long impact. Anyways, knowing that neither of us had other sexual partners or will have other sexual partners is very comforting and frankly a confidence booster - especially since our bodies change due to pregnancies and aging.


Not to derail but it’s a comfort to know libido can remain high after menopause. Are you on HRT?


Estrogen cream. It has really helped. I like sex a lot and I was not willing to accept my reduced libido and enjoyment especially when I have a great partner who is healthy. We have no way to know when ill health or other circumstances removes this blessing from our lives.
Anonymous
Post 09/01/2022 19:52     Subject: Waiting for marriage
to the woman that said waiting made marriage easier for both, waiting had nothing to do with it, you are just good match and good people and you would have been together waiting or not until marriage … if he did marry you just because you were virgin then rolling eyes
now ‘baggage’ is something else, if does bring some clouds from time to time but it is what it is and the fact that both bring ‘baggage’ and both understand it as natural it helps, I don’t particularly like the idea that my dh had sex with another woman but I met him after college and I love him enough to not want him to have been lonely in college, especially as he had very difficult times; I had no sex of any type until him but did some fooling around with couple of guys that he would have likely been happier without but again me connecting with other people on that level and trying to find my half was the rational thing to do at 20 and he is ok with it
Anonymous
Post 08/31/2022 21:59     Subject: Re:Waiting for marriage
Anonymous wrote:Waiting until marriage gets really awkward if you don't get married by 22-24. I have a friend who had this plan. She didn't find anyone in college.
Her choice to wait until marriage made it hard to find a person to date seriously by her mid to late 20s. She's now still single at 40.


Yes, I waited until 25 but those years between college and 25 were challenging. It took on an outsized importance and made dating really difficult.
Anonymous
Post 08/30/2022 14:14     Subject: Waiting for marriage
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't advise waiting for marriage - I know a woman who did and her marriage was later in shambles when she learned of her DH's affair with a male coworker. Sex before marriage might have shed some light into what's typical or not and she probably could have avoided a lot of sorrow.




Interesting theory but how do you explain the couples who did have sex beforehand and claim it was great only to find out their husband is gay?


I would say those folks are likely actually bi, not gay.
Anonymous
Post 08/30/2022 11:49     Subject: Re:Waiting for marriage
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My wife and I waited. Dated two years, married for 27 now.

You are not alone, OP.


did you masturbate until marriage? did you abstain from everything for those two years or just intercourse?


Anonymous
Post 08/30/2022 10:11     Subject: Re:Waiting for marriage
Anonymous wrote:My wife and I waited. Dated two years, married for 27 now.

You are not alone, OP.


did you masturbate until marriage? did you abstain from everything for those two years or just intercourse?