Anonymous wrote:As a woman who has long term dated a much younger man (started me very early 40s to his very late 20s), there are definitely references we don't share, but it's also pretty cool to learn about things that you don't know about. My worldview was enlarged. I like his friends and find they are a lot more interesting than most of the gen-xers I know. That's for various reasons, but maybe partly because my generation settled down earlier. But they also make me feel old sometimes...especially the older I get. His friends are generally in their early 30s now, but a lot were mid twenties when I met them, and I found them smart and fun to talk to--but they know things I don't, and I also have experiences they have yet to have and so therefore don't understand. They are fun to be around because they aren't jaded and tired yet.

I'm guessing it's pretty similar? I'm not a guy. But not all young people are stupid. In fact, I think as we age, people tend to stop being as interesting and get mired in patterns--including myself. My BF and I have a lot of things in common, as much as we don't.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my early 20s I dated several men in their late 30s and early 40s.
What do we talk about? Men love to talk about themselves, so I learned a lot of career advice, investing advice, how to order wine at fancy restaurants, how to work a room and network at their corporate events. I got a glimpse of my life 15 years in the future and it served me well early in my career.
What do you do besides dinner and sex? Go to the movies and concerts, go hiking, go to a winery or a museum. All the things I did on dates with men my own age.
Do they hang out with your friends? No. You can take a 24 yr old to a cocktail party, but you can’t take a man with gray hair to a kegger.

I never dated guys with kids, so they were more like the Peter Pan types who haven’t settled down. It’s fun when you also don’t want to settle down. Once I was ready to get married, I dated guys my own age.

I'm married to an older man (10 yr difference) and my younger friends never felt fully comfortable with DH. It sucks also because the women married to his friends viewed me as a threat, in some respects, so it has been hard to find couples to hang out with.

This part of an age-gap relationship got better for me over time but I still have more girlfriends and few couple friends, although I think I like it better this way. I fell for an older man in my twenties because I had just gotten out of a relationship with someone my own age who was extremely irresponsible and immature and it felt great to be with someone who was literally the exact opposite: established, organized, emotionally mature, dependable, and also objectively looks much younger than his age, even now. At the time and even now I downplayed our age difference because of how I feel with him. He also wasn't serially dating younger women nor was I serially dating older men.

You're lucky. Problem is when your friends prefer couple activities and there is awkwardness with your DH due to age. I have ended up kind of lonely as a result. In this post-pandemic time, I'm making a concerted effort to create my own social life. I wish my DH and I had more couple socializing options, and I am still trying to make that happen more than it does. Wish I could view it as positively as you do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my early 20s I dated several men in their late 30s and early 40s.
What do we talk about? Men love to talk about themselves, so I learned a lot of career advice, investing advice, how to order wine at fancy restaurants, how to work a room and network at their corporate events. I got a glimpse of my life 15 years in the future and it served me well early in my career.
What do you do besides dinner and sex? Go to the movies and concerts, go hiking, go to a winery or a museum. All the things I did on dates with men my own age.
Do they hang out with your friends? No. You can take a 24 yr old to a cocktail party, but you can’t take a man with gray hair to a kegger.

I never dated guys with kids, so they were more like the Peter Pan types who haven’t settled down. It’s fun when you also don’t want to settle down. Once I was ready to get married, I dated guys my own age.

I'm married to an older man (10 yr difference) and my younger friends never felt fully comfortable with DH. It sucks also because the women married to his friends viewed me as a threat, in some respects, so it has been hard to find couples to hang out with.

This part of an age-gap relationship got better for me over time but I still have more girlfriends and few couple friends, although I think I like it better this way. I fell for an older man in my twenties because I had just gotten out of a relationship with someone my own age who was extremely irresponsible and immature and it felt great to be with someone who was literally the exact opposite: established, organized, emotionally mature, dependable, and also objectively looks much younger than his age, even now. At the time and even now I downplayed our age difference because of how I feel with him. He also wasn't serially dating younger women nor was I serially dating older men.

You're lucky. Problem is when your friends prefer couple activities and there is awkwardness with your DH due to age. I have ended up kind of lonely as a result. In this post-pandemic time, I'm making a concerted effort to create my own social life. I wish my DH and I had more couple socializing options, and I am still trying to make that happen more than it does. Wish I could view it as positively as you do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my early 20s I dated several men in their late 30s and early 40s.
What do we talk about? Men love to talk about themselves, so I learned a lot of career advice, investing advice, how to order wine at fancy restaurants, how to work a room and network at their corporate events. I got a glimpse of my life 15 years in the future and it served me well early in my career.
What do you do besides dinner and sex? Go to the movies and concerts, go hiking, go to a winery or a museum. All the things I did on dates with men my own age.
Do they hang out with your friends? No. You can take a 24 yr old to a cocktail party, but you can’t take a man with gray hair to a kegger.

I never dated guys with kids, so they were more like the Peter Pan types who haven’t settled down. It’s fun when you also don’t want to settle down. Once I was ready to get married, I dated guys my own age.

I'm married to an older man (10 yr difference) and my younger friends never felt fully comfortable with DH. It sucks also because the women married to his friends viewed me as a threat, in some respects, so it has been hard to find couples to hang out with.

This part of an age-gap relationship got better for me over time but I still have more girlfriends and few couple friends, although I think I like it better this way. I fell for an older man in my twenties because I had just gotten out of a relationship with someone my own age who was extremely irresponsible and immature and it felt great to be with someone who was literally the exact opposite: established, organized, emotionally mature, dependable, and also objectively looks much younger than his age, even now. At the time and even now I downplayed our age difference because of how I feel with him. He also wasn't serially dating younger women nor was I serially dating older men.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I don't think I have a low opinion of women in their 20s. Generally, our babysitters are college and grad students. Some are quite mature, and I like many of them. But I can't imagine having more than an occasional conversation with them that doesn't feel like parent/child or mentor/mentee. The interests, the naivete ... so much just doesn't seem to match up to someone who's been an independent, professional adult for 20 years and a parent, to boot. But thanks for the responses. Interesting. one thing that seems clear is that even when there is conversation, it's not enough to build a strong relationship. They still fade out after a few months, at best.

NP here, a woman. I agree with you, and it betrays a certain misogyny on the part of these men that they admire that naivete and unfounded optimism. They think they're defending the intellects of these young women, when in fact they're insulting them by admiring women at their least intellectually evolved state.

I think it betrays misogyny on the part of women who resent younger women, TBH.

I don't think any of us resent these young women. Well, I don't anyway. I think the whole thing sounds sad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my early 20s I dated several men in their late 30s and early 40s.
What do we talk about? Men love to talk about themselves, so I learned a lot of career advice, investing advice, how to order wine at fancy restaurants, how to work a room and network at their corporate events. I got a glimpse of my life 15 years in the future and it served me well early in my career.
What do you do besides dinner and sex? Go to the movies and concerts, go hiking, go to a winery or a museum. All the things I did on dates with men my own age.
Do they hang out with your friends? No. You can take a 24 yr old to a cocktail party, but you can’t take a man with gray hair to a kegger.

I never dated guys with kids, so they were more like the Peter Pan types who haven’t settled down. It’s fun when you also don’t want to settle down. Once I was ready to get married, I dated guys my own age.

I'm married to an older man (10 yr difference) and my younger friends never felt fully comfortable with DH. It sucks also because the women married to his friends viewed me as a threat, in some respects, so it has been hard to find couples to hang out with.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I don't think I have a low opinion of women in their 20s. Generally, our babysitters are college and grad students. Some are quite mature, and I like many of them. But I can't imagine having more than an occasional conversation with them that doesn't feel like parent/child or mentor/mentee. The interests, the naivete ... so much just doesn't seem to match up to someone who's been an independent, professional adult for 20 years and a parent, to boot. But thanks for the responses. Interesting. one thing that seems clear is that even when there is conversation, it's not enough to build a strong relationship. They still fade out after a few months, at best.

NP here, a woman. I agree with you, and it betrays a certain misogyny on the part of these men that they admire that naivete and unfounded optimism. They think they're defending the intellects of these young women, when in fact they're insulting them by admiring women at their least intellectually evolved state.

I think it betrays misogyny on the part of women who resent younger women, TBH.

Anonymous wrote:In my early 20s I dated several men in their late 30s and early 40s.
What do we talk about? Men love to talk about themselves, so I learned a lot of career advice, investing advice, how to order wine at fancy restaurants, how to work a room and network at their corporate events. I got a glimpse of my life 15 years in the future and it served me well early in my career.
What do you do besides dinner and sex? Go to the movies and concerts, go hiking, go to a winery or a museum. All the things I did on dates with men my own age.
Do they hang out with your friends? No. You can take a 24 yr old to a cocktail party, but you can’t take a man with gray hair to a kegger.

I never dated guys with kids, so they were more like the Peter Pan types who haven’t settled down. It’s fun when you also don’t want to settle down. Once I was ready to get married, I dated guys my own age.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:just posted in another SB/sd related thread

"i'm m/48/divorced with two young kids/no intent to marry (at least for another 10yrs lol) and have been a SD for several years now (sexless marriage before the D)

AMA!"

anyway to answer the OP question ... a LOT of 20s young girls who are SB acutally have plenty of stuff in common and tons and tons to talk about. why is this even a question? books, movies, music, travel, food, politics, religion the list is endless. most of the SB i have dated are from either GW, American or G'town so it is not like dating uneducated bimbos. the beauty of the relationship is that these young girls are developing interests, have ideals, dreams, and more often than not have a life outlook that is not "tainted" by too much negative life experience. i find the conversations (before and after the sex) to be quite fun actually. all my SB and I go out on regular dates too like movies, restaurants and shit. One of them I have taken with me overseas five times for fun vacations (sex filled, fun filled and yes conversation filled as well)

it seems only the frumpy 40+ hags of DC would even ask a stupid question like this.

so basically you take advantage of immature 20 year olds because you can’t handle women your own age. PS: the 20 year olds think you’re gross and sketchy.

Well, the mature ones think that. The immature ones, like I was, felt flattered, because we didn't realize what the hell was going on and how gross these men were.

+1. and the sex was inevitably bad with the gross men, no?

Anonymous wrote:I dated a very wealthy late 40s man when I was in my late 20s in law school. I got the sense he was looking for escapism and was uninterested in a woman who was focused on her career and his intellectual equal. Nice guy but only looking to escape his middle-aged life. I then dated a man in his early 40s who was much more of a match, but also in essential ways just looking to escape his middle-age responsibilities.

Anyway any man in his 40s dating an undergrad clearly has issues. At least I had already lived a lot and knew how to take care of myself. A 19 yr old is almost a child.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know woman in there 20s that can have much more intellectual conversations than most woman in their 40s. And I know woman in their 40's that can put most 20 somethings to shame in the bedroom.

Stop trying to paint picture based on the ages of ADULTS, paint a picture of individuals.

Yes, but generally speaking: youth is beauty and there is absolutely no competing with its fresh magic. And as many have noted, a young woman in her 20s is happy and optimistic (because she is not yet a caretaker.) Again generalizing, but women in their 40s are far more likely to know their body and how to unleash its orgasmic potential. For some men, this is probably not a bonus.

😂😂😂😂😂😂 Older woman coping again.

Younger woman here.

"63 per cent of women aged over 45 are orgasming every sexual encounter. This compares to just 36 per cent of women aged 18 to 25. "
https://www.menshealth.com.au/age-women-have-the-most-orgasms/