Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From the perspective of a childfree woman:

1. All children are cute, but very few merit a second glance from a stranger.

2. Cute kids definitely don't always grow up into attractive adults. Two girls in my elementary school class were breathtakingly beautiful children, but as adults they have bad skin and weight problems. Meanwhile, some of the ugly ducklings blossomed into swans.

+1, same experience.

Also, I've found I'm way more likely to be taken by a cute kid because of their personality than their appearance. And some of the features that make a kid cute are not objectively attractive/beautiful, but are specifically adorable on kids.

Like my favorite kid I've ever met was a 4 yo girl who was was not stunning. She had pretty hair and a symmetrical face, but not a look that would make you say "omg that's a beautiful child." What she did have was an amazing personality. She had an actual sense of humor, like the ability to tell and understand actual jokes. She was also really bright and in tune with what was going on -- she asked insightful questions and genuinely listened to what others were saying. She was more with it and personable than like 99% of adults I encounter. But her looks were probably average at best? Still absolutely the cutest child I've ever encountered.

A really beautiful child who just kind of stands there and smiles is nice, I guess, but I'd rather hang out with the less attractive kid who can carry on a conversation and has interesting and funny things to say.

I hope you realize this is a really ableist thing to say.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From the perspective of a childfree woman:

1. All children are cute, but very few merit a second glance from a stranger.

2. Cute kids definitely don't always grow up into attractive adults. Two girls in my elementary school class were breathtakingly beautiful children, but as adults they have bad skin and weight problems. Meanwhile, some of the ugly ducklings blossomed into swans.

+1, same experience.

Also, I've found I'm way more likely to be taken by a cute kid because of their personality than their appearance. And some of the features that make a kid cute are not objectively attractive/beautiful, but are specifically adorable on kids.

Like my favorite kid I've ever met was a 4 yo girl who was was not stunning. She had pretty hair and a symmetrical face, but not a look that would make you say "omg that's a beautiful child." What she did have was an amazing personality. She had an actual sense of humor, like the ability to tell and understand actual jokes. She was also really bright and in tune with what was going on -- she asked insightful questions and genuinely listened to what others were saying. She was more with it and personable than like 99% of adults I encounter. But her looks were probably average at best? Still absolutely the cutest child I've ever encountered.

A really beautiful child who just kind of stands there and smiles is nice, I guess, but I'd rather hang out with the less attractive kid who can carry on a conversation and has interesting and funny things to say.

I hope you realize this is a really ableist thing to say.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From the perspective of a childfree woman:

1. All children are cute, but very few merit a second glance from a stranger.

2. Cute kids definitely don't always grow up into attractive adults. Two girls in my elementary school class were breathtakingly beautiful children, but as adults they have bad skin and weight problems. Meanwhile, some of the ugly ducklings blossomed into swans.

+1, same experience.

Also, I've found I'm way more likely to be taken by a cute kid because of their personality than their appearance. And some of the features that make a kid cute are not objectively attractive/beautiful, but are specifically adorable on kids.

Like my favorite kid I've ever met was a 4 yo girl who was was not stunning. She had pretty hair and a symmetrical face, but not a look that would make you say "omg that's a beautiful child." What she did have was an amazing personality. She had an actual sense of humor, like the ability to tell and understand actual jokes. She was also really bright and in tune with what was going on -- she asked insightful questions and genuinely listened to what others were saying. She was more with it and personable than like 99% of adults I encounter. But her looks were probably average at best? Still absolutely the cutest child I've ever encountered.

A really beautiful child who just kind of stands there and smiles is nice, I guess, but I'd rather hang out with the less attractive kid who can carry on a conversation and has interesting and funny things to say.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I think we are all biologically programmed to find our own kids stunning but by elementary school you will be able to tell if your kids are objectively good looking because they will be generally be the kids that other kids are drawn too. I have seen this play out time again with my kids and their friends (my kids are not the stunners) and as a teacher. Popular kids are almost always good looking. If you take a grade of 100 elementary kids, I think most of us can pick out the 1 or 2 who are head turners. The rest are all variations of "nice looking" but are fairly interchangeable. But there are are always 1/100 or so that are like "wow, she/he is stunning".

By middle school looks definitely correlate with social cred. 100%. People are drawn to attractive people."

It's painful to acknowledge this, but it's so true. And to make it even worse, people assume that the good looking people are smarter and more talented than they actually are. I'm convinced my kid got into better colleges than he otherwise would have because of the Zoom interviews he did.

It's not just the objective looks, it's all the confidence that comes from a lifetime of having people respond positively to you because you're cute or pretty or handsome or beautiful.

Eh. My DH and I were *just* talking about how foggy-brained middle schoolers and high schoolers are about beauty. If you are an objectively stunning 14 year old, but nerdy, you simply won’t have the reputation of being “hot” like the sunny-dispositioned cheerleader type . Self perception influences others perception.

Whatever makes you sleep better at night

I agree with the PP. When I looked back at my middle school yearbook I couldn't believe who were the kids that were teased vs the popular ones, and who the "hot" ones that people wanted to date were. It was so much more about charisma at that age. Which is hard if you're nerdy or not totally mainstream and bubbly, but reassuring in that tweens/teens aren't as superficial into looks as maybe we sometimes think they are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I think we are all biologically programmed to find our own kids stunning but by elementary school you will be able to tell if your kids are objectively good looking because they will be generally be the kids that other kids are drawn too. I have seen this play out time again with my kids and their friends (my kids are not the stunners) and as a teacher. Popular kids are almost always good looking. If you take a grade of 100 elementary kids, I think most of us can pick out the 1 or 2 who are head turners. The rest are all variations of "nice looking" but are fairly interchangeable. But there are are always 1/100 or so that are like "wow, she/he is stunning".

By middle school looks definitely correlate with social cred. 100%. People are drawn to attractive people."

It's painful to acknowledge this, but it's so true. And to make it even worse, people assume that the good looking people are smarter and more talented than they actually are. I'm convinced my kid got into better colleges than he otherwise would have because of the Zoom interviews he did.

It's not just the objective looks, it's all the confidence that comes from a lifetime of having people respond positively to you because you're cute or pretty or handsome or beautiful.

Eh. My DH and I were *just* talking about how foggy-brained middle schoolers and high schoolers are about beauty. If you are an objectively stunning 14 year old, but nerdy, you simply won’t have the reputation of being “hot” like the sunny-dispositioned cheerleader type . Self perception influences others perception.

Whatever makes you sleep better at night

I agree with the PP. When I looked back at my middle school yearbook I couldn't believe who were the kids that were teased vs the popular ones, and who the "hot" ones that people wanted to date were. It was so much more about charisma at that age. Which is hard if you're nerdy or not totally mainstream and bubbly, but reassuring in that tweens/teens aren't as superficial into looks as maybe we sometimes think they are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I think we are all biologically programmed to find our own kids stunning but by elementary school you will be able to tell if your kids are objectively good looking because they will be generally be the kids that other kids are drawn too. I have seen this play out time again with my kids and their friends (my kids are not the stunners) and as a teacher. Popular kids are almost always good looking. If you take a grade of 100 elementary kids, I think most of us can pick out the 1 or 2 who are head turners. The rest are all variations of "nice looking" but are fairly interchangeable. But there are are always 1/100 or so that are like "wow, she/he is stunning".

By middle school looks definitely correlate with social cred. 100%. People are drawn to attractive people."

It's painful to acknowledge this, but it's so true. And to make it even worse, people assume that the good looking people are smarter and more talented than they actually are. I'm convinced my kid got into better colleges than he otherwise would have because of the Zoom interviews he did.

It's not just the objective looks, it's all the confidence that comes from a lifetime of having people respond positively to you because you're cute or pretty or handsome or beautiful.

Eh. My DH and I were *just* talking about how foggy-brained middle schoolers and high schoolers are about beauty. If you are an objectively stunning 14 year old, but nerdy, you simply won’t have the reputation of being “hot” like the sunny-dispositioned cheerleader type . Self perception influences others perception.

Whatever makes you sleep better at night

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I think we are all biologically programmed to find our own kids stunning but by elementary school you will be able to tell if your kids are objectively good looking because they will be generally be the kids that other kids are drawn too. I have seen this play out time again with my kids and their friends (my kids are not the stunners) and as a teacher. Popular kids are almost always good looking. If you take a grade of 100 elementary kids, I think most of us can pick out the 1 or 2 who are head turners. The rest are all variations of "nice looking" but are fairly interchangeable. But there are are always 1/100 or so that are like "wow, she/he is stunning".

By middle school looks definitely correlate with social cred. 100%. People are drawn to attractive people."

It's painful to acknowledge this, but it's so true. And to make it even worse, people assume that the good looking people are smarter and more talented than they actually are. I'm convinced my kid got into better colleges than he otherwise would have because of the Zoom interviews he did.

It's not just the objective looks, it's all the confidence that comes from a lifetime of having people respond positively to you because you're cute or pretty or handsome or beautiful.

Eh. My DH and I were *just* talking about how foggy-brained middle schoolers and high schoolers are about beauty. If you are an objectively stunning 14 year old, but nerdy, you simply won’t have the reputation of being “hot” like the sunny-dispositioned cheerleader type . Self perception influences others perception.

Whatever makes you sleep better at night

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I think we are all biologically programmed to find our own kids stunning but by elementary school you will be able to tell if your kids are objectively good looking because they will be generally be the kids that other kids are drawn too. I have seen this play out time again with my kids and their friends (my kids are not the stunners) and as a teacher. Popular kids are almost always good looking. If you take a grade of 100 elementary kids, I think most of us can pick out the 1 or 2 who are head turners. The rest are all variations of "nice looking" but are fairly interchangeable. But there are are always 1/100 or so that are like "wow, she/he is stunning".

By middle school looks definitely correlate with social cred. 100%. People are drawn to attractive people."

It's painful to acknowledge this, but it's so true. And to make it even worse, people assume that the good looking people are smarter and more talented than they actually are. I'm convinced my kid got into better colleges than he otherwise would have because of the Zoom interviews he did.

It's not just the objective looks, it's all the confidence that comes from a lifetime of having people respond positively to you because you're cute or pretty or handsome or beautiful.

Eh. My DH and I were *just* talking about how foggy-brained middle schoolers and high schoolers are about beauty. If you are an objectively stunning 14 year old, but nerdy, you simply won’t have the reputation of being “hot” like the sunny-dispositioned cheerleader type . Self perception influences others perception.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not jealous of beautiful kids. Most of them (especially girls) will end up overweight in this country.

Not the rich ones.

Sometimes even some of the rich ones. There is a body type that can be very cute/beautiful when younger (big boobs, on the short side, round face, big eyes) but ages poorly. When you are short, it's really hard to keep weight off in middle age, especially if you are predisposed to be curvy -- you'd basically have to starve yourself and exercise for hours a day and while being rich makes that easier, it's still really, really hard.

I know multiple wealthy women who are in this situation in their late 40s. Maybe one or two will figure it out with extreme discipline around food and exercise, and some expensive procedures to help you along. But most won't.

Guess what -- it's coming for Kim K too. Middle age is not friendly to short curvy women, and it doesn't care how much money you have.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not jealous of beautiful kids. Most of them (especially girls) will end up overweight in this country.

Not the rich ones.

Sometimes even some of the rich ones. There is a body type that can be very cute/beautiful when younger (big boobs, on the short side, round face, big eyes) but ages poorly. When you are short, it's really hard to keep weight off in middle age, especially if you are predisposed to be curvy -- you'd basically have to starve yourself and exercise for hours a day and while being rich makes that easier, it's still really, really hard.

I know multiple wealthy women who are in this situation in their late 40s. Maybe one or two will figure it out with extreme discipline around food and exercise, and some expensive procedures to help you along. But most won't.

Guess what -- it's coming for Kim K too. Middle age is not friendly to short curvy women, and it doesn't care how much money you have.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I think we are all biologically programmed to find our own kids stunning but by elementary school you will be able to tell if your kids are objectively good looking because they will be generally be the kids that other kids are drawn too. I have seen this play out time again with my kids and their friends (my kids are not the stunners) and as a teacher. Popular kids are almost always good looking. If you take a grade of 100 elementary kids, I think most of us can pick out the 1 or 2 who are head turners. The rest are all variations of "nice looking" but are fairly interchangeable. But there are are always 1/100 or so that are like "wow, she/he is stunning".

By middle school looks definitely correlate with social cred. 100%. People are drawn to attractive people."

It's painful to acknowledge this, but it's so true. And to make it even worse, people assume that the good looking people are smarter and more talented than they actually are. I'm convinced my kid got into better colleges than he otherwise would have because of the Zoom interviews he did.

It's not just the objective looks, it's all the confidence that comes from a lifetime of having people respond positively to you because you're cute or pretty or handsome or beautiful.

Wow this thread is exhausting and tedious with tons of mental gymnastics thrown in for good measure


Eh. My DH and I were *just* talking about how foggy-brained middle schoolers and high schoolers are about beauty. If you are an objectively stunning 14 year old, but nerdy, you simply won’t have the reputation of being “hot” like the sunny-dispositioned cheerleader type . Self perception influences others perception.