Anonymous
07/31/2022 17:04
Subject: Sick as a dog - husband gone on fishing trip and au pair is off.
Anonymous wrote:We just had an au pair move in yesterday - it’s been awkward. She alternâtes between spending some time with us and then spending hours alone in her room with the door closed.
Im sick as a dog. I’m trying to care for my 3 y/o and he’s a complete handful. He’s pulling things off the counter and kicking and screaming when I try to change his diaper. I just grabbed his leg when he kicked me and said NO loudly - which made him cry and I feel like an awful mother.
My husband has been away and out of cell service range on a 4 day fishing trip. I have no family nearby to call. I really want to ask the au pair of she could watch my 3 y/o but she’s been intent on sitting in bed on her laptop doing "classes" …
Our au pair was in country already and was in friendly rematch with another family. She’s been here 7 months, she’s not homesick.
Au pair is not on duty and why is a three year old still in diaper!? You do what the rest of us do-- he watches a movie, feed him, and do as little as possible. Do you have a friend who will help you? As soon as you're well, your number one priority is to potty train your three year old!
Anonymous
07/31/2022 16:12
Subject: Sick as a dog - husband gone on fishing trip and au pair is off.
Anonymous wrote:This whole thread is insane. I cannot comprehend how anyone believes an au pair should be able to respond to her bosses wishes, which weren't communicated, via telepathy...on her first day of work, on her time off, while she's busy with school work. I think op could be a troll (I don't even understand what she's trying to complain about), yet we have an army of crazy people backing her up. And someone else thinks we should use county resources to have the sheriff track down her husband to let him know his wife has a cold. "Hello Sheriff? Yeah, my husband is fishing and I have a cold...."
DCum has lost its mind.
They lost it a while ago.
“Classes”… smh
Anonymous
07/31/2022 15:49
Subject: Re:Sick as a dog - husband gone on fishing trip and au pair is off.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:lol that the DH says he’s “out of cell range” for days and we’re all just like yeah, that’s a thing in 2022.
This is definitely a thing in rural areas. Please educate yourself.
-went to a state park in WV yesterday and had no service at all
Having no access while at a state park during the day is completely different than claiming not to have access/be completely unreachable for four days straight and no responsible parent would put themselves in such a situation for a fishing trip.
Right. I like how there are pages of comments criticizing the au pair, but nigh a word said about OP’s worthless husband.
Anonymous
07/31/2022 15:42
Subject: Re:Sick as a dog - husband gone on fishing trip and au pair is off.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:lol that the DH says he’s “out of cell range” for days and we’re all just like yeah, that’s a thing in 2022.
This is definitely a thing in rural areas. Please educate yourself.
-went to a state park in WV yesterday and had no service at all
Having no access while at a state park during the day is completely different than claiming not to have access/be completely unreachable for four days straight and no responsible parent would put themselves in such a situation for a fishing trip.
Anonymous
07/31/2022 15:31
Subject: Sick as a dog - husband gone on fishing trip and au pair is off.
Sorry OP, but the au pair is not your problem. Your dumb as rocks DH is the problem. Four day fishing trip with a 3 year old at home and right when the au pair arrives. Nope! Sounds like your home is a disaster tbh.
Anonymous
07/31/2022 15:26
Subject: Sick as a dog - husband gone on fishing trip and au pair is off.
Anonymous wrote:We just had an au pair move in yesterday - it’s been awkward. She alternâtes between spending some time with us and then spending hours alone in her room with the door closed.
Im sick as a dog. I’m trying to care for my 3 y/o and he’s a complete handful. He’s pulling things off the counter and kicking and screaming when I try to change his diaper. I just grabbed his leg when he kicked me and said NO loudly - which made him cry and I feel like an awful mother.
My husband has been away and out of cell service range on a 4 day fishing trip. I have no family nearby to call. I really want to ask the au pair of she could watch my 3 y/o but she’s been intent on sitting in bed on her laptop doing "classes" …
Our au pair was in country already and was in friendly rematch with another family. She’s been here 7 months, she’s not homesick.
Ok, so she knows the expectations. She knows that you asked for her to do extra hours occasionally on weekends for extra pay. You shouldn't have paid last week, she arrived and didn't work yesterday, but since you did with no expectation of anything out of it, you just need to let that go. She had two weeks off for rematch, presumably the third was to travel after she made the match?
Reset conversation.
Go get her, sit her down and tell her you need her to work three hours this afternoon so that you can rest. Normally, you would give her the option, but as your husband can't be reached, you're feverish, and she's there, there's no choice. You'll pay her the agreed rate for extra weekend hours, and the total weekly will not exceed 45.
Set the expectation now that if she knows something needs to be done (like helping bc you're ill), she'll pitch in. She'll be paid, but she needs to help.
Anonymous
07/31/2022 10:40
Subject: Sick as a dog - husband gone on fishing trip and au pair is off.
Anonymous wrote:Why do you need an au pair for one 3 year old?
What a stupid comment. There could be 100 reasons. Perhaps she has odd hours that won’t work with daycare or a nanny. Perhaps her child is immune compromised and can’t use daycare (like my oldest), perhaps she can’t miss all of the days daycare germs entail, perhaps they want the child exposed to a language the au pair speaks, perhaps as an only child they’d like him to have more company at home? Who knows but the reason is irrelevant.
Anonymous
07/31/2022 07:21
Subject: Sick as a dog - husband gone on fishing trip and au pair is off.
Anonymous wrote:Have you tested yourself for covid? [/quot
Exactky this
Anonymous
07/31/2022 07:20
Subject: Sick as a dog - husband gone on fishing trip and au pair is off.
Anonymous wrote:Is she home, behind the closed door? Tell her to come out and have a work day, and she gets a day off later in the week. Does she know you're sick? I would seriously FIRE an au pair who let me take care of a 3 year old while I was sick as a dog. What kind of work ethic does someone like that have anyway?
Knock on the door. Be her boss. Tell her you need her to work today because you're sick.
That is not how au pairs work. I know people regularly exploit them, but they are not at your beck and call.
Anonymous
07/31/2022 07:18
Subject: Re:Sick as a dog - husband gone on fishing trip and au pair is off.
Anonymous wrote:lol that the DH says he’s “out of cell range” for days and we’re all just like yeah, that’s a thing in 2022.
This is definitely a thing in rural areas. Please educate yourself.
-went to a state park in WV yesterday and had no service at all
Anonymous
07/31/2022 07:07
Subject: Re:Sick as a dog - husband gone on fishing trip and au pair is off.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:lol that the DH says he’s “out of cell range” for days and we’re all just like yeah, that’s a thing in 2022.
It could be. My vacation home in the Midwest has some dead spots even for Verizon
When you are there, how many days do you go without accessing the internet one way or another?
Anonymous
07/31/2022 07:05
Subject: Re:Sick as a dog - husband gone on fishing trip and au pair is off.
Anonymous wrote:lol that the DH says he’s “out of cell range” for days and we’re all just like yeah, that’s a thing in 2022.
It could be. My vacation home in the Midwest has some dead spots even for Verizon
Anonymous
07/31/2022 06:50
Subject: Re:Sick as a dog - husband gone on fishing trip and au pair is off.
lol that the DH says he’s “out of cell range” for days and we’re all just like yeah, that’s a thing in 2022.
Anonymous
07/31/2022 06:47
Subject: Sick as a dog - husband gone on fishing trip and au pair is off.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We just had an au pair move in yesterday - it’s been awkward. She alternâtes between spending some time with us and then spending hours alone in her room with the door closed.
Im sick as a dog. I’m trying to care for my 3 y/o and he’s a complete handful. He’s pulling things off the counter and kicking and screaming when I try to change his diaper. I just grabbed his leg when he kicked me and said NO loudly - which made him cry and I feel like an awful mother.
My husband has been away and out of cell service range on a 4 day fishing trip. I have no family nearby to call. I really want to ask the au pair of she could watch my 3 y/o but she’s been intent on sitting in bed on her laptop doing "classes" …
Our au pair was in country already and was in friendly rematch with another family. She’s been here 7 months, she’s not homesick.
Ew. Your three year old is still in diapers? Why am I not surprised you can’t handle him alone.
Eh, stop that. It's unproductive. Maybe he turned 3 yesterday. Maybe he's got special needs that makes him slow to toilet train. Maybe he's just stubborn. Regardless, she has fever and can't toilet train him today. Today, she needs help. Because she's sick.
NP here. Oh get off it! Who here has never taken care if their kids when sick? OP is as bratty as her poor kid.
I have. I'm a single mom. Once I had to take care of my kids alone when we were ALL vomiting at the same time. Literally, all of us. It was horrible. Guess who cleaned everything up and hauled the couch to the curb.
But I didn't have an au pair. You all sound like you've never held a job before. I would fire an employee who didn't jump in to lend a hand when something unexpected came up. And you're not doing this au pair any favors acting like she will make it in the job market with an attitude like that. Unless she wants to work at Burger King, she should be taught a decent work ethic and that means when your boss is sick, you pick up the slack. She can take off another day of the week.
The Au Pair CAN’T work at Burger King instead. That’s how they get them to work for so little. They’re trapped.
Anonymous
07/30/2022 23:03
Subject: Sick as a dog - husband gone on fishing trip and au pair is off.
Anonymous wrote:Is she home, behind the closed door? Tell her to come out and have a work day, and she gets a day off later in the week. Does she know you're sick? I would seriously FIRE an au pair who let me take care of a 3 year old while I was sick as a dog. What kind of work ethic does someone like that have anyway?
Knock on the door. Be her boss. Tell her you need her to work today because you're sick.
+1
I’d also send her a specific email detailing you are such as a dog and need her to work from now until this evening (specify a time). Put in the email that these are her hours for this week and spell it out. You need to begin a paper trail bc this one isn’t going to work out. Give her specifics for the rest of the day - eg play in the yard for the next 2 hours or whatever. Since you likely haven’t shown her all the intricacies of the house yet, tell her you’ll order dinner and it will arrive at x time and bring it in. Get pizza or something easy.